Men afraid of commitment?

Off Topic
81

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does.

82

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Exclusivity and Commitment are not the same thing at all. If I’ve gone out with a girl a few times and like her, I’m going to stop or at least put off chasing other women to see where it goes. I’m not going to see anyone else, and I expect her to do the same, and if she goes out with some else that’s a deal breaker, no hard feelings but I’m gone. At the same time I’m still looking for red flags and if a few get waved in my face I’m out.

Commitment is the phase where you’re past looking for red flags and you just enjoy being with the person and seek to make that happen as often as possible. Trust and respect have been built. You’ve gotten to know the person’s well enough that you know you can overlook their weaknesses, bad side, whatever. Commitment is still below marriage, because if things get fucked up I’m still out.

83

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

Whose definition?

If you are a NiceGuy™ you think women should want you for stuff they are simply not attracted too.

Now you can hem and haw what should matter to women and it will get you nowhere.

The same goes for women, sexual attractiveness is ultimately determined by the opposite sex.

Its a bit more complicated for men though, because if they think they are the shit because of clothes, sixpack, car or just because, that attitude alone might seal the deal, because confidence, even delusional confidence is attractive in a man.

I think you are referring to qualities that are really just superficial though, like some women value intelligence more than status if given the choice, but ultimately that is just a cherry on top, it might be important to you, but that says more about your preferences than about how objectively fuckable he really is.

High SMP is about having to beat off women with a stick, not whether some specific woman values your idiosyncrasies.

84

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

Whose definition?

If you are a NiceGuy™ you think women should want you for stuff they are simply not attracted too.

Now you can hem and haw what should matter to women and it will get you nowhere.

The same goes for women, sexual attractiveness is ultimately determined by the opposite sex.

Its a bit more complicated for men though, because if they think they are the shit because of clothes, sixpack, car or just because, that attitude alone might seal the deal, because confidence, even delusional confidence is attractive in a man.

I think you are referring to qualities that are really just superficial though, like some women value intelligence more than status if given the choice, but ultimately that is just a cherry on top, it might be important to you, but that says more about your preferences than about how objectively fuckable he really is.

High SMP is about having to beat off women with a stick, not whether some specific woman values your idiosyncrasies. [/quote]

Ah, but a good relationship is about finding the person whose strengths you value and whose idiosyncrasies you enjoy, and who values and enjoys yours. Beating people off with sticks would be enjoyable short term, I suppose, but as a satisfying center of your life? I dunno, orion. I am flattered when men like me, or think me attractive, but that can’t be the basis of my happiness because it is ultimately meaningless. Knowing me with my flaws (which are legion, but I think not too awful) and still liking me and thinking me attractive? That’s another thing, and when added to the desire to move toward a common goal forms the basis of contentedness.

85

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.

86

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
which are legion[/quote]
I like that part.

87

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Exclusivity and Commitment are not the same thing at all. If I’ve gone out with a girl a few times and like her, I’m going to stop or at least put off chasing other women to see where it goes. I’m not going to see anyone else, and I expect her to do the same, and if she goes out with some else that’s a deal breaker, no hard feelings but I’m gone. At the same time I’m still looking for red flags and if a few get waved in my face I’m out.

Commitment is the phase where you’re past looking for red flags and you just enjoy being with the person and seek to make that happen as often as possible. Trust and respect have been built. You’ve gotten to know the person’s well enough that you know you can overlook their weaknesses, bad side, whatever. Commitment is still below marriage, because if things get fucked up I’m still out.
[/quote]

Nicely put. Maybe I’ve been conflating the two concepts.

88

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

Whose definition?

If you are a NiceGuy™ you think women should want you for stuff they are simply not attracted too.

Now you can hem and haw what should matter to women and it will get you nowhere.

The same goes for women, sexual attractiveness is ultimately determined by the opposite sex.

Its a bit more complicated for men though, because if they think they are the shit because of clothes, sixpack, car or just because, that attitude alone might seal the deal, because confidence, even delusional confidence is attractive in a man.

I think you are referring to qualities that are really just superficial though, like some women value intelligence more than status if given the choice, but ultimately that is just a cherry on top, it might be important to you, but that says more about your preferences than about how objectively fuckable he really is.

High SMP is about having to beat off women with a stick, not whether some specific woman values your idiosyncrasies. [/quote]

Ah, but a good relationship is about finding the person whose strengths you value and whose idiosyncrasies you enjoy, and who values and enjoys yours. Beating people off with sticks would be enjoyable short term, I suppose, but as a satisfying center of your life? I dunno, orion. I am flattered when men like me, or think me attractive, but that can’t be the basis of my happiness because it is ultimately meaningless. Knowing me with my flaws (which are legion, but I think not too awful) and still liking me and thinking me attractive? That’s another thing, and when added to the desire to move toward a common goal forms the basis of contentedness.

[/quote]

Well, however high your SMP might be, there is something to be said for people who value you because and not in spite of your quirks.

However, that is a luxury problem, as only attractive people face it.

As to committment, if we postulate for a moment that hypergamy is a thing, yes, in these here primates too!, women will usually be the first to want a committed relationship and also the first to abandon ship.

I find it hard to “commit” to someone who is always looking for a better deal.

That does not seem to be your problem though, or maybe it is, as effeminate as men have gotten.

89

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.[/quote]

Sandwich, blowjob, dont fuck around, done.

How hard is it really?

Now, homecooked meal, blowjob in schoolgirl uniform and impeccable reputation, but who am I kidding?

90

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.[/quote]

Sandwich, blowjob, dont fuck around, done.

How hard is it really?

Now, homecooked meal, blowjob in schoolgirl uniform and impeccable reputation, but who am I kidding?

[/quote]

That doesn’t always work.

91

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.[/quote]

Sandwich, blowjob, dont fuck around, done.

How hard is it really?

Now, homecooked meal, blowjob in schoolgirl uniform and impeccable reputation, but who am I kidding?

[/quote]

That doesn’t always work. [/quote]

No, it does not.

But its a solid foundation.

Some man cant stomach it though, because “equality” or some other BS.

92

I think girl game suffers from the same problem game does.

People want it to be a garantuee.

It is not, it cannot be.

It can only tilt the odds in your favor.

93

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.[/quote]

Sandwich, blowjob, dont fuck around, done.

How hard is it really?

Now, homecooked meal, blowjob in schoolgirl uniform and impeccable reputation, but who am I kidding?

[/quote]

That doesn’t always work. [/quote]

No, it does not.

But its a solid foundation.

Some man cant stomach it though, because “equality” or some other BS. [/quote]

No. Some men cannot sustain it, because they prefer to focus on whatever foul mood or self-destructive impulse they are having at the moment and only recognize the value of the good things they have as they are losing them. Attention is given to negatives because good is taken for granted. Speaking not just of the above or necessarily of men, but generally.

95

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

That’s an interesting question… I’ve always been interested in people I consider way out of my league, like “10s” or at least solid “9s” in my mind. LOL

96

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.[/quote]

Sandwich, blowjob, dont fuck around, done.

How hard is it really?

Now, homecooked meal, blowjob in schoolgirl uniform and impeccable reputation, but who am I kidding?

[/quote]

That doesn’t always work. [/quote]

No, it does not.

But its a solid foundation.

Some man cant stomach it though, because “equality” or some other BS. [/quote]

No. Some men cannot sustain it, because they prefer to focus on whatever foul mood or self-destructive impulse they are having at the moment and only recognize the value of the good things they have as they are losing them. Attention is given to negatives because good is taken for granted. Speaking not just of the above or necessarily of men, but generally.[/quote]

Ah.

But then you can see how it also works as an excellent douchedar, intended or not, because if a man gets that, takes it for granted and chooses to focus on minor inconveniences, you have your answer, do you not?

97

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

That’s an interesting question… I’ve always been interested in people I consider way out of my league, like “10s” or at least solid “9s” in my mind. LOL [/quote]

You seem to be a woman.

Of course you are.

98

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.[/quote]
I’ll compound this with the statement that, extrinsically, men will paint upon themselves complexities that are, in essence, merely peripheral to their sex drive. An image simply put. Intrinsic complexity is a different topic.

99

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]
Men are so, so simple. Women create a plethora of complexities for them that don’t actually exist.[/quote]

Sandwich, blowjob, dont fuck around, done.

How hard is it really?

Now, homecooked meal, blowjob in schoolgirl uniform and impeccable reputation, but who am I kidding?

[/quote]

That doesn’t always work. [/quote]

No, it does not.

But its a solid foundation.

Some man cant stomach it though, because “equality” or some other BS. [/quote]

No. Some men cannot sustain it, because they prefer to focus on whatever foul mood or self-destructive impulse they are having at the moment and only recognize the value of the good things they have as they are losing them. Attention is given to negatives because good is taken for granted. Speaking not just of the above or necessarily of men, but generally.[/quote]

Ah.

But then you can see how it also works as an excellent douchedar, intended or not, because if a man gets that, takes it for granted and chooses to focus on minor inconveniences, you have your answer, do you not?[/quote]

Yes.

100

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

That’s an interesting question… I’ve always been interested in people I consider way out of my league, like “10s” or at least solid “9s” in my mind. LOL [/quote]

For looks? I’m always after smart. I happily trade down in looks for intelligence, which is fine, because I like being the “hot” one in the relationship anyway.

There’s a point at which men are too good looking and I get stupid, which I don’t like. I wouldn’t have thought that this could happen with intelligence, the more the better, but I’ve had cause to question this recently.