Men afraid of commitment?

Off Topic
501

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
You’ve already labeled him a beta orbiter, would tear him apart for allowing me to friend-zone him if he were here, and t-man alpha wisdom holds that men should always be sexually aggressive.

Although he sort of was, I suppose, in a patient way. We had the above conversation (which may be what you’re referring to) because he asked, not because I went there without prompting. Or I suppose I had, but only vaguely. [/quote]

If I can interject here, your new guy may have been circumstantially friend-zoned but I doubt he was emotionally friend zoned. There’s a huge difference.

Some bone heads may say a guy should always be sexually aggressive, I would say a guy should always be sexually smart (shrewd, cunning - whatever you want to call it). Since this new guy is now with you, or close to being so, it’s proof he has been smart. He was able to wait in the wing without being perceived as a beta orbiter but ready to spring into action when the opportunity opened up. When that opportunity presented he was smart enough not to be too aggressive because he knew in your mental state the walls would go up.

Getting the woman you want is a delicate dance that needs to be done just right. So far he’s been able to keep the rhythm of the song you’re playing. There’s nothing about that that any guy can rationally knock.[/quote]

Interesting, and it sounds maybe about right. He definitely hasn’t been passive and I don’t think anyone who’s met him would call him weak. He’s not. So he’s probably playing me. lol[/quote]

I think some of these tactics (for lack of a better word) come naturally for some guys, meaning they give them no thought, and for others they are a planned approach. Either way, i wouldn’t call it playing a chick. i could probably go into the nuances of what I think the differences are between being a player and just being a guy trying to get a girl he wants but it would take too long and I’ve gotta go eat.[/quote]

It’s only “playing a chick” when Orion or I write about it.[/quote]

Well, to be fair, from what he writes orion gives a woman about 15 minutes to either hop onboard or it’s “next!” I’m thinking you’ve also espoused the “it’s a numbers game” mindset, which suggests finding a target-rich environment and then practicing rapid elimination. No?

502

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m not young, though! Just an idiot.

But thank you for taking the time. I agree with you. And I don’t mind suffering, I just don’t want to rush headlong into it.[/quote]

You are too young, and you don’t sound like an idiot to me. Don’t get down on yourself. People are always trying to drag you down, let them do it… Show me an expert on relationships and I will show you someone in denial. They are complicated, even when they are simple. Humans are a pain in the ass.

Yes, I believe you do mind suffering. I sure as hell mind it. If you truly don’t mind suffering, you haven’t really suffered. When you are, all you want to do is get away from it as far as you can. I am pretty sure you have at some point, and you will again to some degree or another. Just don’t bring anything on yourself.

And don’t rush. You have all the time in the world. Be true to yourself. [/quote]

I’m trying.

[/quote]

‘No try, only do’ ~ Yoda

503

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Erik the Red’s wife wanted him to build her a church when they settled in Greenland, and in fact is said to have withheld sex until the thing was built. Which of course, it soon was.

Have you built your wife a church, Edgy?[/quote]

Is your fake leg in the shop for repairs?[/quote]

I’m bulking, so I sent it in to get more muscle added. [/quote]

lol… I wish I could do that…

504

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Minus the leg, I noticed Em has a very nice neck and jaw line.
[/quote]

Yeah, but the place could use a little picking up… and air conditioning. What’s with the two fans?

505

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Minus the leg, I noticed Em has a very nice neck and jaw line.
[/quote]

Yeah, but the place could use a little picking up… and air conditioning. What’s with the two fans?[/quote]

Ha! One for the window, one for pointing at treadmill. It’s sweaty work running with only one leg.

506

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Minus the leg, I noticed Em has a very nice neck and jaw line.
[/quote]

Yeah, but the place could use a little picking up… and air conditioning. What’s with the two fans?[/quote]

Ha! One for the window, one for pointing at treadmill. It’s sweaty work running with only one leg.[/quote]

Don’t run…Squat! Fat people run.

507

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Erik the Red’s wife wanted him to build her a church when they settled in Greenland, and in fact is said to have withheld sex until the thing was built. Which of course, it soon was.

Have you built your wife a church, Edgy?[/quote]

i havent built her a church yet - that may splain the withholding sex part of our relationship>

btw, can you count 20 minutes of wrasseling your wifes nighty off as foreplay?

508

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Erik the Red’s wife wanted him to build her a church when they settled in Greenland, and in fact is said to have withheld sex until the thing was built. Which of course, it soon was.

Have you built your wife a church, Edgy?[/quote]

i havent built her a church yet - that may splain the withholding sex part of our relationship>

btw, can you count 20 minutes of wrasseling your wifes nighty off as foreplay?[/quote]

Does it take that long because she’s - er, unwilling, or because she’s been running too much and has gotten fat from it?

509

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Minus the leg, I noticed Em has a very nice neck and jaw line.
[/quote]

Yeah, but the place could use a little picking up… and air conditioning. What’s with the two fans?[/quote]

What are these objects you speak of? I may have missed them or something. :slight_smile:

510

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
Minus the leg, I noticed Em has a very nice neck and jaw line.
[/quote]

Yeah, but the place could use a little picking up… and air conditioning. What’s with the two fans?[/quote]

What are these objects you speak of? I may have missed them or something. :slight_smile:
[/quote]

I know, the red rug really draws the eye. I move it from place to place - wherever there’s a mess I toss the rug down, and no one ever seems to see anything else.

512

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
You’ve already labeled him a beta orbiter, would tear him apart for allowing me to friend-zone him if he were here, and t-man alpha wisdom holds that men should always be sexually aggressive.

Although he sort of was, I suppose, in a patient way. We had the above conversation (which may be what you’re referring to) because he asked, not because I went there without prompting. Or I suppose I had, but only vaguely. [/quote]

If I can interject here, your new guy may have been circumstantially friend-zoned but I doubt he was emotionally friend zoned. There’s a huge difference.

Some bone heads may say a guy should always be sexually aggressive, I would say a guy should always be sexually smart (shrewd, cunning - whatever you want to call it). Since this new guy is now with you, or close to being so, it’s proof he has been smart. He was able to wait in the wing without being perceived as a beta orbiter but ready to spring into action when the opportunity opened up. When that opportunity presented he was smart enough not to be too aggressive because he knew in your mental state the walls would go up.

Getting the woman you want is a delicate dance that needs to be done just right. So far he’s been able to keep the rhythm of the song you’re playing. There’s nothing about that that any guy can rationally knock.[/quote]

Interesting, and it sounds maybe about right. He definitely hasn’t been passive and I don’t think anyone who’s met him would call him weak. He’s not. So he’s probably playing me. lol[/quote]

I think some of these tactics (for lack of a better word) come naturally for some guys, meaning they give them no thought, and for others they are a planned approach. Either way, i wouldn’t call it playing a chick. i could probably go into the nuances of what I think the differences are between being a player and just being a guy trying to get a girl he wants but it would take too long and I’ve gotta go eat.[/quote]

It’s only “playing a chick” when Orion or I write about it.[/quote]

Well, to be fair, from what he writes orion gives a woman about 15 minutes to either hop onboard or it’s “next!” I’m thinking you’ve also espoused the “it’s a numbers game” mindset, which suggests finding a target-rich environment and then practicing rapid elimination. No?[/quote]

Well, technically it IS a numbers game. A halfway decent looking guy can go to a club and approach random women in rapid succession with the line, “nice shoes, wanna fuck?” and while he MAY get slapped a few times, if he is persistent, he will not ask 20 times before getting a yes. I’ve done this myself and I’ve used this as an exercise way back in the day when I used to teach that shit. But whether or not it’s a numbers game is neither here nor there. It most certainly CAN be, but it doesn’t have to be.

And while we’re in the mood to be fair, have you and Orion ever had an honest dialog about what his strategy is? I cant speak FOR the man, but I’m pretty sure if he’s into a chick, he’ll take a wee bit longer than 15 min before “nexting” her.

Speaking for myself, I’ve found that taking an extraordinary LONG time while carefully building up sexual tension, building comfort and enjoying a clever and witty chase is FAR more satisfying than a quick lay. Any asshole with a six pack and rudimentary social skills can pull a quick lay. But I’m at the point where I’ve figured out a few things and am able to refine my interactions and have a lot of fun with women, rather than just trying to put a bunch of notches on my bedpost. I have several bed posts worth of notches, so that just gets plain old boring after a while.

513

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

Speaking for myself, I’ve found that taking an extraordinary LONG time while carefully building up sexual tension, building comfort and enjoying a clever and witty chase is FAR more satisfying than a quick lay. [/quote]

I think this is true, because what I want out of a woman cannot be had without a build-up.

It is of course also true that I suck in bars and clubs so maybe I do make the best out of a handicap.

Anyhow, by the time I have her in my bedroom, I want her to ask questions like “did you spike my drink” (no?), or if I go in for the first kiss that she does not know what hit her and it leads to a 30 min make out session in her car like she was a teenager and not a grown woman.

Thats what I want and “wanna fuck” does not get me there.

514

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Erik the Red’s wife wanted him to build her a church when they settled in Greenland, and in fact is said to have withheld sex until the thing was built. Which of course, it soon was.

Have you built your wife a church, Edgy?[/quote]

i havent built her a church yet - that may splain the withholding sex part of our relationship>

btw, can you count 20 minutes of wrasseling your wifes nighty off as foreplay?[/quote]

Does it take that long because she’s - er, unwilling, or because she’s been running too much and has gotten fat from it?[/quote]

nah, Emmy -she’s putting up a pretty good fight these days. mebbe she’s getting skeered about the impaling she’s aboot to receive~

515

[quote]orion wrote:
I go in for the first kiss that she does not know what hit her and it leads to a 30 min make out session in her car like she was a teenager and not a grown woman.[/quote]
Aw you too?

I guess you people were right about making out. I was with a girl the other night and she was pretty adamant about not going beyond making out yet. My God I forgot what it was like for my balls to hurt that much. It was literally like being back in high school.

There needs to be some kind of public service announcement at college graduations saying “WARNING, this is not real life; girls will never behave like this again.”

516

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
I go in for the first kiss that she does not know what hit her and it leads to a 30 min make out session in her car like she was a teenager and not a grown woman.[/quote]
Aw you too?

I guess you people were right about making out. I was with a girl the other night and she was pretty adamant about not going beyond making out yet. My God I forgot what it was like for my balls to hurt that much. It was literally like being back in high school.

There needs to be some kind of public service announcement at college graduations saying “WARNING, this is not real life; girls will never behave like this again.”[/quote]

You are missing the point.

I probably could have had her there and then, but I left.

Always leave her wanting more and 1-2 weeks later you can do the deed like it is supposed to be done.

A drunken college hook-up is about as appealing to me as a car accident.

517

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
I go in for the first kiss that she does not know what hit her and it leads to a 30 min make out session in her car like she was a teenager and not a grown woman.[/quote]
Aw you too?

I guess you people were right about making out. I was with a girl the other night and she was pretty adamant about not going beyond making out yet. My God I forgot what it was like for my balls to hurt that much. It was literally like being back in high school.

There needs to be some kind of public service announcement at college graduations saying “WARNING, this is not real life; girls will never behave like this again.”[/quote]

You are missing the point.

I probably could have had her there and then, but I left.

Always leave her wanting more and 1-2 weeks later you can do the deed like it is supposed to be done.

A drunken college hook-up is about as appealing to me as a car accident. [/quote]
Simply saturated in hyperbole. Jolly good show.

518


hey EM…any chance you could try this pose for your Avi?

519

[quote]orion wrote:
A drunken college hook-up is about as appealing to me as a car accident. [/quote]
You know it seemed like the girl was always the one throwing extra strong drinks at me whilst she barely had any, and then she would make a move on me. The good ol’ reverse date rape.

520

[quote]Chushin wrote:
I think we should rename this thread “Emily’s Place.”[/quote]

It does seem kinda cozy.

Em, do you have any coffee?