IMO it’s a myth. I’m sick of hearing older men complain about their marriages.
I WANT that. I want a stable, happy married life with kids and an enormous, mutant mongrel dog. I think most of these guys are just, as you americans say, shooting a line. They like to make out they were happier single, but they weren’t.
[quote]orion wrote:
Here is the interesting thing:
If anyone felt the stronge urge to do so, you sometimes have ACs and my posts. replying to the same poster back to back.
80 to 90 % of times its more or less the same reply, emphasizing slightly different aspects of the situation, but hey…
Somehow it turns out however that I am bitter, jaded, musthavebeenhurtgaylivesinmomsbasement cantgetadategooglelistoffemaleshamingtactics, whereas he just knows whats going on.
Oh well…[/quote]
It’s because you don’t speak Merkin.
[quote]Der_Steppenwolfe wrote:
IMO it’s a myth. I’m sick of hearing older men complain about their marriages.
I WANT that. I want a stable, happy married life with kids and an enormous, mutant mongrel dog. I think most of these guys are just, as you americans say, shooting a line. They like to make out they were happier single, but they weren’t.[/quote]
Yeah, I would like to be married, too. 99% of women are pretty fucked up and not worth being a partner. I finally found a good one, and I fucked it up because I couldn’t keep my pants zipped* — making me part of the 99% of men that aren’t worth a fuck, I guess.
So, I disagree that men are afraid of commitment. They are just looking at the women available (to them) and realizing they are not worth commiting too.
I’m just staying out of the pool, until I am sure I am, myself, worthy of the 1% of women I’d be willing to commit to.
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Here is the interesting thing:
If anyone felt the stronge urge to do so, you sometimes have ACs and my posts. replying to the same poster back to back.
80 to 90 % of times its more or less the same reply, emphasizing slightly different aspects of the situation, but hey…
Somehow it turns out however that I am bitter, jaded, musthavebeenhurtgaylivesinmomsbasement cantgetadategooglelistoffemaleshamingtactics, whereas he just knows whats going on.
Oh well…[/quote]
It’s because you don’t speak Merkin. [/quote]
I thought that was something you wear.
Yeah, fair enough. I’d take issue that 99% of women are skanks though.
Having said that, I just got out of a bad relationship. It only lasted a week or so. She waited until 2:00 AM to tell me that I was too young for her, that she didn’t think it would work and then she started calling me an arsehole and hitting me. I grabbed my stuff and took the first train home.
I don’t hold it against her. She rang up to apologise, and it’s not like we wouldn’t be able to be in a room together again or anything like that.
But I’m still pissed off. I don’t meet many women of my age where I live. Anybody with any sense gets out and moves to the cities. You could conclude from that that I don’t have any sense, and you might have a point.
But I’m not scared of comitment. I’m mildly paranoid about women with sharp objects, but hey, who isn’t?
[quote]Testy1 wrote:
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Here is the interesting thing:
If anyone felt the stronge urge to do so, you sometimes have ACs and my posts. replying to the same poster back to back.
80 to 90 % of times its more or less the same reply, emphasizing slightly different aspects of the situation, but hey…
Somehow it turns out however that I am bitter, jaded, musthavebeenhurtgaylivesinmomsbasement cantgetadategooglelistoffemaleshamingtactics, whereas he just knows whats going on.
Oh well…[/quote]
It’s because you don’t speak Merkin. [/quote]
I thought that was something you wear.
[/quote]
http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/world_news_war/ask_moshe?id=5189504&pageNo=20
Toward the bottom of the page.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[/quote]
Now there is a woman who knows how to handle a pole.
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]Testy1 wrote:
[quote]Varqanir wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Here is the interesting thing:
If anyone felt the stronge urge to do so, you sometimes have ACs and my posts. replying to the same poster back to back.
80 to 90 % of times its more or less the same reply, emphasizing slightly different aspects of the situation, but hey…
Somehow it turns out however that I am bitter, jaded, musthavebeenhurtgaylivesinmomsbasement cantgetadategooglelistoffemaleshamingtactics, whereas he just knows whats going on.
Oh well…[/quote]
It’s because you don’t speak Merkin. [/quote]
I thought that was something you wear.
[/quote]
http://tnation.T-Nation.com/free_online_forum/world_news_war/ask_moshe?id=5189504&pageNo=20
Toward the bottom of the page. [/quote]
Exactly
[quote]Der_Steppenwolfe wrote:
Having said that, I just got out of a bad relationship. It only lasted a week or so. [/quote]
Tip: If the milk in your fridge lasts longer than your time spent with someone, then you can’t call it a relationship.
It’s a one-night stand that went on for another 6 nights.
Ah. Sorry, misuse of terminology there.
[quote]orion wrote:
Here is the interesting thing:
If anyone felt the stronge urge to do so, you sometimes have ACs and my posts. replying to the same poster back to back.
80 to 90 % of times its more or less the same reply, emphasizing slightly different aspects of the situation, but hey…
Somehow it turns out however that I am bitter, jaded, musthavebeenhurtgaylivesinmomsbasement cantgetadategooglelistoffemaleshamingtactics, whereas he just knows whats going on.
Oh well…[/quote]
AC shows some capacity for flexibility of thought. The day he first added the “NOT ALL WOMEN” disclaimer, my heart swelled with pride.
He has consistently shown curiosity about others’ views, whether or not he ultimately agreed with them, and I feel like I’ve seen him change and grow. I would like to believe posters here who have been reading me for some time would say the same of me, both in terms of growth and openness. I’ve learned so much here, and it’s changed me. I don’t see that you’ve changed, though, orion.
I would also add that you have a nasty streak. You are the only one EVER, in my entire life - and I’ve been called a lot of things by various people along the way - the only one to EVER call me anything even remotely like a “cockhopper,” or whatever it was. I’m sure that’s not the only such comment, which say more about you than the people you say them to.
AC comes off as someone who likes women, but doesn’t trust them. You come off as someone who manipulates women because you like to get fucked, but who neither likes nor trusts them.
And for the record, I have steadfastly disagreed that AC “knows what’s going on” with women. I just acknowledge that he’s good at casual dating!
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
[quote]Der_Steppenwolfe wrote:
IMO it’s a myth. I’m sick of hearing older men complain about their marriages.
I WANT that. I want a stable, happy married life with kids and an enormous, mutant mongrel dog. I think most of these guys are just, as you americans say, shooting a line. They like to make out they were happier single, but they weren’t.[/quote]
Yeah, I would like to be married, too. 99% of women are pretty fucked up and not worth being a partner. I finally found a good one, and I fucked it up because I couldn’t keep my pants zipped* — making me part of the 99% of men that aren’t worth a fuck, I guess.
So, I disagree that men are afraid of commitment. They are just looking at the women available (to them) and realizing they are not worth commiting too.
I’m just staying out of the pool, until I am sure I am, myself, worthy of the 1% of women I’d be willing to commit to.
I’m sorry, too, though not surprised. I didn’t think you were ready. But next time, no?
Oh, I meant to post earlier - I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. Former coworkers and friends referred me for an opening in their practice and it’s too good a job not to pursue.
Yesterday, my supervisor, who is wonderful, offered that I could skip tomorrow’s weekly meeting to work on paperwork because I’m so behind, which is because I’ve had two clients hospitalized over the last week or so for mental health stuff, which is time consuming as well as emotionally draining. So now my entire team is being extra nice to me.
Anyway, I’d sort of been toying with the idea of calling in sick because I have to get dressed for the interview and obviously can’t do it at work. So, the supervisor is being all supportive and all, while meanwhile I’m sort of playing the field, and I wound up doing the same exact thing I do with men. First I hedged when she suggested I take time Wednesday, saying without making eye contact that I was thinking of taking a personal day.
I left her office awkwardly (we’re friends). Then I went away and thought about it last night and this morning and decided that I need to tell her about the interview and that I didn’t seek it out (I wasn’t job hunting, honest!) even though I KNOW you don’t mention interviews to bosses.
So what I have realized is that the men don’t have anything to do with it. It’s me! I can’t handle ANY of it. I was all set to march in and confess this morning, and had gotten all bucked up for it, but she wasn’t here and then a coworker did an intervention on me (which mostly consisted in deciding together that the supervisor will be stressed by the thought of me leaving and it should wait for her sake, because we both like her).
How do otherwise honest people handle these standard deceptions? That’s what I need to figure out. I have therapy tonight, so that’s good.
^ So you are afraid of emotional confrontations?
Where you might be seen in a light you dont want to be seen in?
So you would rather use misleading or false information to keep you conscious clean?
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
How do otherwise honest people handle these standard deceptions? That’s what I need to figure out. I have therapy tonight, so that’s good.[/quote]
Just don’t bother with any of that and tell everything how it is. Run toward the awkward, and it isn’t nearly as bad.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
How do otherwise honest people handle these standard deceptions? That’s what I need to figure out. I have therapy tonight, so that’s good.[/quote]
Just don’t bother with any of that and tell everything how it is. Run toward the awkward, and it isn’t nearly as bad.[/quote]
I have had a few of my employees leave and it was very awkward for them.
After they came in to put in their notice, I informed them that this is their life and I did not take it personally. I wish them luck and just tell them that in the future be more open and straight forward, when you run a business you need to know about staffing as soon as possible.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
^ So you are afraid of emotional confrontations?
Where you might be seen in a light you dont want to be seen in?
So you would rather use misleading or false information to keep you conscious clean? [/quote]
I am afraid of disadvantaging myself professionally. If I am not offered this new job, I will remain where I am, without further job hunting, and pursue advancement within the agency, which had been my plan. Professional and personal are different and the lines blur for me.
And no, how does deception cleanse my conscience? I feel like my problem is the opposite, that I have difficulty merely playing my cards close to my chest when appropriate, as in dating and work advancement. Which I guess are the only two areas where complete transparency can be a disadvantage.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Oh, I meant to post earlier - I have an interview tomorrow afternoon. Former coworkers and friends referred me for an opening in their practice and it’s too good a job not to pursue.
Yesterday, my supervisor, who is wonderful, offered that I could skip tomorrow’s weekly meeting to work on paperwork because I’m so behind, which is because I’ve had two clients hospitalized over the last week or so for mental health stuff, which is time consuming as well as emotionally draining. So now my entire team is being extra nice to me.
Anyway, I’d sort of been toying with the idea of calling in sick because I have to get dressed for the interview and obviously can’t do it at work. So, the supervisor is being all supportive and all, while meanwhile I’m sort of playing the field, and I wound up doing the same exact thing I do with men. First I hedged when she suggested I take time Wednesday, saying without making eye contact that I was thinking of taking a personal day.
I left her office awkwardly (we’re friends). Then I went away and thought about it last night and this morning and decided that I need to tell her about the interview and that I didn’t seek it out (I wasn’t job hunting, honest!) even though I KNOW you don’t mention interviews to bosses.
So what I have realized is that the men don’t have anything to do with it. It’s me! I can’t handle ANY of it. I was all set to march in and confess this morning, and had gotten all bucked up for it, but she wasn’t here and then a coworker did an intervention on me (which mostly consisted in deciding together that the supervisor will be stressed by the thought of me leaving and it should wait for her sake, because we both like her).
How do otherwise honest people handle these standard deceptions? That’s what I need to figure out. I have therapy tonight, so that’s good.[/quote]
Emily, what kind of work do you do? Good luck on your job interview!