Men afraid of commitment?

Off Topic
201

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

Nah, he’ll get over it. It’s an immature expectation, nothing eternal about it. He will evolve past it when he finds someone who captures his attention and his heart. If anything, it’s inspiring because he’ll hold out a little longer and not settle for just anyone.

Perfect example just happened to a very close friend of mine. He was a bigger man whore than I was, if anyone can believe that! And last month he told me that he found “the one”. After years of wading through the dating cess-pool, he is in “LUUUUUV”. I met her and she’s a great chick - everything he was looking for. He found the white buffalo! That’s a GOOD thing! [/quote]

Is it just me, or have you returned from your hiatus down South more open to positive, fulfilling relationships with women?[/quote]
Uh did you miss the memo?

Check G+ I will not say what changed.[/quote]

Heeeey, no fair! I want to see what changed!

Derek, I knew you weren’t serious about drinks! I wasn’t either!

(Do the many exclamation points suggest too much coffee?)

202

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

Nah, he’ll get over it. It’s an immature expectation, nothing eternal about it. He will evolve past it when he finds someone who captures his attention and his heart. If anything, it’s inspiring because he’ll hold out a little longer and not settle for just anyone.

Perfect example just happened to a very close friend of mine. He was a bigger man whore than I was, if anyone can believe that! And last month he told me that he found “the one”. After years of wading through the dating cess-pool, he is in “LUUUUUV”. I met her and she’s a great chick - everything he was looking for. He found the white buffalo! That’s a GOOD thing! [/quote]

Is it just me, or have you returned from your hiatus down South more open to positive, fulfilling relationships with women?[/quote]
Uh did you miss the memo?

Check G+ I will not say what changed.[/quote]

Heeeey, no fair! I want to see what changed!

Derek, I knew you weren’t serious about drinks! I wasn’t either!

(Do the many exclamation points suggest too much coffee?)[/quote]

I believe I invited you to G+ before.

203

[quote]Varqanir wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Okay cant read all of this thread.

Can someone give me some cliff notes?

Q do ever think maybe you think about all this stuff to much? Meaning you OVER think/analyse all this.

Just a thought, dont yell at me :slight_smile: [/quote]

I’m going to give what you’ve said a great deal of thought, Derek, and will respond at length after I’ve had time to really turn it over and view it from all angles. :slight_smile:

[/quote]
hahahaahahahhahahaa awesome.

I dont believe you go through relationships with your head in the clouds and the lust in your loins, but you also should not go through it like a you are a psychologist analysing every little thing. Just my .02, sometimes what makes a relationship great is a little of both of these. [/quote]

Actually, I think I do exactly that (head in clouds, loins in lust) which seems to be the concensus on this thread, if I’m not misreading AC and Chushin, etc.

I have more to say, naturally, but I need to say some stuff to my agency’s documentation system before I get fired.[/quote]

My loins are always in lust[/quote]

I can buy my own drinks, so don’t think I’m going to kiss you. And I don’t see anyone more than once a week. And this is the last post I’m writing to you until - Thursday![/quote]

Emily, if you ever laid eyes on me you’d be asking to buy my drinks and praying I’d plant a passionate one on ya. I’m sorry but Thursday is not good for me I already have plans with Sturgeon that day.

Yours very truly,

Lusty Loins
[/quote]

Right… If badgering me on the forums constitutes “having plans”. [/quote]

Just do what I do. Insult him in Japanese and Swahili.
[/quote]

You know how to speak Swahili? LOL

Nihongo ga sukoshi hanasemasu. It has been 7 years since I last practiced Japanese. In my case, since I haven’t used it, I really did lose it! Now that I’m thinking about it, it’s making me a little sad - all of that time and effort and I would say at least 80% of it is completely gone. :frowning:

204

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]The Other Titan wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Really? Under what circumstances? Is this a myth, meant to confuse women further? As if your regular incomprehensible behavior isn’t enough!

Because once again I find myself doing a deer-in-the-headlights thing as someone begins pushing in that direction, i.e. exclusivity. And we’ve been seeing each other only briefly, no sex.

So my question for the board is, how is this best handled?

I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]

Well, either you are super awesome or he needs a woman in his life.

Any woman really. [/quote]

I think he just wants someone around to pick up his dirty socks, that JERK. I’m going to send him a note right now, stating very firmly that THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER FRIENDSHIP.

And P.S. I only say I understand you because you’ve spent a lot of time explaining yourself. I think you could probably say the same of me, no? So don’t be mean.
[/quote]

Why am I mean.

Either you are one in a thousand and he goes for it or he needs to latch on to a woman.

Maybe a bit of both.

I think you understand people who need, need, NEED to be in a relationship a lot better than I do.

[/quote]

Some people might want, want, WANT to be in a relationship.

I was last minimally involved with this guy a year and a half or so ago. At that time, he was coming out of what sounded like some transitional post-divorce stuff. I didn’t and don’t see him as desperate, as he has definite market value and if he only wanted a relationship, any relationship, would have one. He also chooses to live in our remote area rather than in the urban settings where most of his work is centered, which suggests that a relationship is not at the top of his priority list.

Now, one possibility is that he enjoys cat-and-mousing goofy, earnest women for the entertainment value it provides and isn’t interested in a relationship at all. If so there’s a chance that I’ll wind up being drawn in and will ultimately be spectacularly hurt. Could be. I worry it! But I don’t think that’s it.

Again I note that men are incomprehensible creatures, despite what Mr. Foxworthy says. [/quote]

Too much wanting pretty much is needing.

Your argument is the equivalent of arguing that sluts would just fuck anybody.

They dont, the fuck as high upwards as possible.

A needy man would not just “relationship” anybody too, they go as high as they can get.

Now, as for how high his SMP might be, you have already been with one paper alpha.

To realize his potential, he would have to know its there, if he does not, he could be a total beta shlub in a nice package.

Getting a bit clingy seems to indicate that he does not know that he is enough. [/quote]

But doesn’t it all depend upon what your definition of value is when you determine what is the highest you can get?

I think it does. [/quote]

That’s an interesting question… I’ve always been interested in people I consider way out of my league, like “10s” or at least solid “9s” in my mind. LOL [/quote]

You seem to be a woman.

Of course you are.[/quote]

Are you saying that we aren’t interested in dating women out of our own league? If I’m just looking to hook up I might drop my standards to a 6 but if I’m looking for something more I definitely wouldn’t be settling either. [/quote]

You cant get a woman out of your league.

You can get a woman in your league.

A woman however can bat above her league if she uses agressive sexuality, i.e. if she sluts it up.

You slut it up and see where it gets you. [/quote]

I disagree with you on this one. I’ve dated out of my league and I’ve never used aggressive sexuality to do that. Brainwashing perhaps, but “slutting it up”, never![/quote]

Did you get him into a LTR with all bells and whistles?

Because if not , what do you think he was in it for?[/quote]

I guess it depends on your definition of a long-term relationship. These were guys that I saw for probably 2, maybe 3 years. I’m actually the one that facilitated the break ups not them. I’m not sure what the bells and whistles would include, lol. I mean we went out, did fun things, I was friendly with his friends and family and so on… I was far from being like a dark secret or something. [/quote]

This exchange made me laugh. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE??[/quote]

How is what possible? :slight_smile:

205

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions.

That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

I have a hard time buying your whole view of women and relationships being “utterly void of emotions”. So, are you saying that when you are in a relationship, you are completely devoid of emotions?

206

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions.

That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

I have a hard time buying your whole view of women and relationships being “utterly void of emotions”. So, are you saying that when you are in a relationship, you are completely devoid of emotions? [/quote]

He doesn’t “do” relationships

207

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

Nah, he’ll get over it. It’s an immature expectation, nothing eternal about it. He will evolve past it when he finds someone who captures his attention and his heart. If anything, it’s inspiring because he’ll hold out a little longer and not settle for just anyone.

Perfect example just happened to a very close friend of mine. He was a bigger man whore than I was, if anyone can believe that! And last month he told me that he found “the one”. After years of wading through the dating cess-pool, he is in “LUUUUUV”. I met her and she’s a great chick - everything he was looking for. He found the white buffalo! That’s a GOOD thing! [/quote]

Is it just me, or have you returned from your hiatus down South more open to positive, fulfilling relationships with women?[/quote]
Uh did you miss the memo?

Check G+ I will not say what changed.[/quote]

Heeeey, no fair! I want to see what changed!

Derek, I knew you weren’t serious about drinks! I wasn’t either!

(Do the many exclamation points suggest too much coffee?)[/quote]

I believe I invited you to G+ before.
[/quote]

You posted about it once during the day (I’m not usually on during work, and don’t log in in the rare event I am, but am currently sent to my room to do paperwork in isolation, so here I am) but by the time I got home to mess with it on my computer your post was deleted. I was uncertain whether you’d changed your mind, so hesitated to ask.

208

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

Nah, he’ll get over it. It’s an immature expectation, nothing eternal about it. He will evolve past it when he finds someone who captures his attention and his heart. If anything, it’s inspiring because he’ll hold out a little longer and not settle for just anyone.

Perfect example just happened to a very close friend of mine. He was a bigger man whore than I was, if anyone can believe that! And last month he told me that he found “the one”. After years of wading through the dating cess-pool, he is in “LUUUUUV”. I met her and she’s a great chick - everything he was looking for. He found the white buffalo! That’s a GOOD thing! [/quote]

Is it just me, or have you returned from your hiatus down South more open to positive, fulfilling relationships with women?[/quote]
Uh did you miss the memo?

Check G+ I will not say what changed.[/quote]

Heeeey, no fair! I want to see what changed!

Derek, I knew you weren’t serious about drinks! I wasn’t either!

(Do the many exclamation points suggest too much coffee?)[/quote]

I believe I invited you to G+ before.
[/quote]

You posted about it once during the day (I’m not usually on during work, and don’t log in in the rare event I am, but am currently sent to my room to do paperwork in isolation, so here I am) but by the time I got home to mess with it on my computer your post was deleted. I was uncertain whether you’d changed your mind, so hesitated to ask.[/quote]

Nope look for testy1

209

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions.

That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

I have a hard time buying your whole view of women and relationships being “utterly void of emotions”. So, are you saying that when you are in a relationship, you are completely devoid of emotions? [/quote]

He doesn’t “do” relationships
[/quote]

Well, I imagine at some point he has been in some type of “relationship”, even if it wasn’t romantic in nature, so my question stands.

210

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

Nah, he’ll get over it. It’s an immature expectation, nothing eternal about it. He will evolve past it when he finds someone who captures his attention and his heart. If anything, it’s inspiring because he’ll hold out a little longer and not settle for just anyone.

Perfect example just happened to a very close friend of mine. He was a bigger man whore than I was, if anyone can believe that! And last month he told me that he found “the one”. After years of wading through the dating cess-pool, he is in “LUUUUUV”. I met her and she’s a great chick - everything he was looking for. He found the white buffalo! That’s a GOOD thing! [/quote]

Is it just me, or have you returned from your hiatus down South more open to positive, fulfilling relationships with women?[/quote]
Uh did you miss the memo?

Check G+ I will not say what changed.[/quote]

Heeeey, no fair! I want to see what changed!

Derek, I knew you weren’t serious about drinks! I wasn’t either!

(Do the many exclamation points suggest too much coffee?)[/quote]
:slight_smile: I know that was for the “peanut gallery”

If AC wants to share then he can share.

211

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions.

That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

I have a hard time buying your whole view of women and relationships being “utterly void of emotions”. So, are you saying that when you are in a relationship, you are completely devoid of emotions? [/quote]

He doesn’t “do” relationships
[/quote]

Well, I imagine at some point he has been in some type of “relationship”, even if it wasn’t romantic in nature, so my question stands. [/quote]

Obviously. How do you think he became so jaded?

212

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions.

That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

I have a hard time buying your whole view of women and relationships being “utterly void of emotions”. So, are you saying that when you are in a relationship, you are completely devoid of emotions? [/quote]

He doesn’t “do” relationships
[/quote]

Well, I imagine at some point he has been in some type of “relationship”, even if it wasn’t romantic in nature, so my question stands. [/quote]
You have SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO much to catch up on the man, the myth, the legend, that is OOOOORRRRIIIOOOOONNNN

213

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions.

That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

I have a hard time buying your whole view of women and relationships being “utterly void of emotions”. So, are you saying that when you are in a relationship, you are completely devoid of emotions? [/quote]

He doesn’t “do” relationships
[/quote]

Well, I imagine at some point he has been in some type of “relationship”, even if it wasn’t romantic in nature, so my question stands. [/quote]
You have SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO much to catch up on the man, the myth, the legend, that is OOOOORRRRIIIOOOOONNNN

[/quote]

WOW! He has certainly made an impression with you guys I see. :wink: I’m intrigued now for sure.

214

Ok, got it.

215

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]WhiteSturgeon wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions.

That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

I have a hard time buying your whole view of women and relationships being “utterly void of emotions”. So, are you saying that when you are in a relationship, you are completely devoid of emotions? [/quote]

He doesn’t “do” relationships
[/quote]

Well, I imagine at some point he has been in some type of “relationship”, even if it wasn’t romantic in nature, so my question stands. [/quote]
You have SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOO much to catch up on the man, the myth, the legend, that is OOOOORRRRIIIOOOOONNNN

[/quote]

WOW! He has certainly made an impression with you guys I see. :wink: I’m intrigued now for sure. [/quote]
Nah, I was just being an asshole

216

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Aussie Davo wrote:
Orion I figured out what I find so annoying about you.

At first I thought it was just your world view and aspie bitterness about women, but now I realize what it actually is.

You just marble mouth all the fuckin time, have you ever wrote a concise post in your life? Do you talk like this in the real world? Shit conversations with you must be like doing LSD.[/quote]

You should see me when I am stoned, then its insinuations and innuendos all the way.

As for aspie, there is something to that, mostly because the people who coined the terms I use were exactly that.

I think what really annoys you though is that at its core, my view of women and relationships with them is utterly void of emotions. [/quote]

Fear and insecurity radiate from your every utterance on the matter.

[quote]That is necessarily aspie as such, it is inhuman.

A bit…unsettling.

Also, some people get me just fine, so maybe its you. [/quote]

The people who get you share that fear.

On Edge, there’s a lot of validity to what you say. [/quote]

No.

The fear or insecurity, as far as they exists, and both might be warranted by the way, come later.

But first came and still comes the desire to understand a landscape that was quite different from the one I was told it would be like.

Other than a stronge urge to understand there is nothing there in tems of emotions.

217

Jesus…

Le sigh…

218

Here is the interesting thing:

If anyone felt the stronge urge to do so, you sometimes have ACs and my posts. replying to the same poster back to back.

80 to 90 % of times its more or less the same reply, emphasizing slightly different aspects of the situation, but hey…

Somehow it turns out however that I am bitter, jaded, musthavebeenhurtgaylivesinmomsbasement cantgetadategooglelistoffemaleshamingtactics, whereas he just knows whats going on.

Oh well…

219

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I don’t understand men. Except orion.
[/quote]
Hmm…

220