All this kind of shit pisses me off so much I’d like to hit the son o bitches in the mouth. I usually remain composed but one time I saw an asshole and his very hot girlfriend park in a disabled spot. I parked behind his very nice corvette and spit in the window and then on the front window. I hope they got the message! Fucking Yuppies!
[quote]pookie wrote:
When some idiot takes up two spaces, or parks so close to my car that I have to enter by the passenger side, I leave a note on his windshield that says:
“Sorry for damaging your car,
Call Michael at XXX-XXXX after 8PM.”
Where XXX-XXXX is the phone number of a local carpet cleaning company that telemarkets me incessantly… Two birds with one stone.
If you stick around; or happen to come back out at the same time the guy does, it’s great fun to watch him walk around his car for 10 minutes looking for the damage.
Too bad there’s no way to hear the phone call.
[/quote]
You are a clever, clever person if you came up with that. I was already warmed up from the shitting stories and I laughed my ass off when I read this. The thing is, not knowing what damage you are talking about probably drove him crazy for a long time.
Okay now, it looks like I’m the only one, so far, who is taking this side, BUT what if, just what if the guy pulled up to the parking lot and the guy to the right and left of him were parking over their line, and the only reasonable spot for him to take was that one???
Then the other guys leave, and he looks like the ass-hole, when he’s really innocent.
Or, what if there was some kind of emergency, the guy parked quickly, jumped out of his vehicle just in time to save the life of a stranded infant who was caught in a burning car, and after making sure the baby was back in it’s mother’s arms and the incident was cleaned up, he went about his business not thinking to re-park his vehicle to save someone from walking an extra 5 steps. Then he comes out to his car to find it vandalized.
Too many people judge before knowing all the facts.
If you saw it happen, then that’s a different story.
[quote]rsg wrote:
One thing that’s always bothered me is no matter how far away I park from other cars in a lot - when I get back there is ALWAYS someone parked next to me.[/quote]
That happens to me all the time. I go out of my way to park in end spots or away from all other cars.
Bastards.
[quote]ATOMemphis wrote:
key the shit out of them or, if a spot is available directly next to the double, drivers side…park so close they can’t get in from the drivers side. i mean hell, then who really double parked first? you, or them? i mean, this takes it to a whole new level of douchebaggery, but hell if it isn’t funny watching somebody have to crawl across from the passenger side.
not so funny if they are in a handicapped spot. that’s considered bad form to loogie, key, or sandwich park them.[/quote]
That’s pretty much what I do, just park so close I know they can’t get in. One weekend, me and the guys were going to eat-attack the chinese buffet, and we get there and there’s only one parking space, wedged betwixt two SUV’s. (Which are neither sporty, nor utilitarian.)
Now, they were both crowding the yellow lines in such a way that I’m confident they were both just people who never drove anything bigger then a Civic growing up and can’t park correctly. I drive a pretty substantial Dodge pickup (sporty and utilitarian) so I just wedged the sumbitch between 'em with a fraction of an inch between my mirrors and theirs. Me and the guys just crawled out the windows.
D-bags, 0, Conor 2.
People who are incapable of parking drive me nuts, if I can get my truck in standard parking spaces, they can get their econocruiser in there. Or when it snows a little and the lines dissapear in the parking lots and everyone goes stupid…
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Perfectly fine dropping your girl off, i kinda like it. Mostly cause I know where the fuck she’s at. Yes I know…control issues
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“Because- fuck that guy” is #8 on the list of “acceptable male excuses” you should forward her the memo.
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Good call, I would have smashed in his windsheild. And yes I’ve done that before… I realized a good percentage of the “Crime Reports” around USC have been me acting dumb.
"Black male between 4’5 and 8’2 tall weighing between 95lbs and 400lbs has been reported to being seen:
- kicking in a car windsheild
- making lewd gestures and exposing himself in front of a sorority house
- urinating in public
- urinating ON the public
- throwing feces at campus security
- throwing bikes off the roof of the lyon center
- the list continues"
I’m trying to get the shit out my system before college finishes… so much to do!
So you’re justified. Very.
If anything, you should have spit on it again and said “thats for your bitching” (Just kidding i know you ‘love’ her)
Back when I actually had a couple of nice rides, I used to park diagonally and take up 2 spaces… BUT, I only did it in empty parking lots and towards the rear of said lot.
My reasoning was this, I spent HUNDREDS of hours getting the body/paint on my cars to look just so, and I WAS NOT going to let some jackass who couldn’t park fuck up my hard work.
IF the car is a POS or someone is trying to be a showoff by parking like a douchebag in the FRONT of the lot, then by all means spit on the car, BUT DON’T KEY IT. My father is an insurance agent and one of his most aggravating claims to process is the old “Keyed POS car that the owner wants completely repainted.”
I once parked in a handicap spot in my tricked out 1988 Mustang GT, using my 84 year old grandfather’s handicap tag. I actually backed into the spot so it would be easier for him to exit my vehicle. OH YEAH, HE was with me because I had to take HIM to the cardiologist for some tests.
I guess SOME doctor had taken offense to where I parked and put his 7 series BMW so close to my drivers door HE must have had to climb out of his own passenger door to get out. This fine gentleman also left me with a note stating that “handicap stickers should not be abused and the close spots were for people who couldn’t walk long distances etc…”
As I was leaving I placed a note in the hands of a tow truck driver I had called that stated “I guess people w/o handicap signs shouldn’t park in handicap spots, because it’s illegal and they will get towed.” I made sure the tow truck driver was going to put it in the windshield of the car when he unloaded it at the city impound lot.
I once had to park in BFE to run in the grocery store and buy one thing. I hike my ass almost to the door and this prick in a company van comes flying into the handicap parking space, jumps out and leaves the van running.
I looked around, took his keys, locked the door and threw them across the lot. I walked in and he’s by the door getting cash out of the ATM. That moment was one of the highlights of my life.
My dad has a saying for people with poor parking spots. “If your daddy fucked like you park you wouldn’t be here today.” He’s a big intimidating hard ass.
I’ve only seen him deliver the line to a parking offender once. The guy wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or be afraid.
[quote]doogie wrote:
I once had to park in BFE to run in the grocery store and buy one thing. I hike my ass almost to the door and this prick in a company van comes flying into the handicap parking space, jumps out and leaves the van running.
I looked around, took his keys, locked the door and threw them across the lot. I walked in and he’s by the door getting cash out of the ATM. That moment was one of the highlights of my life. [/quote]
Ha ha ha. That’s awesome!
Had a guy park close to me at work once. Drove a big F150, and parked it so close he was less than half an inch from my side-mirrors.
Well my side-mirrors are solid steel so after I got in through the passenger side I made sure to back out while my side-mirrors dented and scraped the entire length of his car.
I’m sure next time he’ll be more aware of how he parks.
No damage to my side-mirrors that I couldn’t rub off. It was worth it.
About 10 years ago in a parking garage that served several office buildings where I worked, there was a compacts only area. The area was too small for anything else. Some jerkoff in an SUV parked in there next to my car. He was so close I could not fit between the two vehicles to even try to open my door. I was so furious that after I climbed through the passenger side, I opened my window, took my house keys off my keychain, then drug them down the side of the car as I pulled out. I almost immediately regretted it.
Keying is too harsh and I have never even considered it since. I should have spit, or let the air out of one of the tires and left a note explaining why.
I still feel kind of bad about it to this day.
[quote]Monopoly19 wrote:
For me? Open lot=2 spaces in the back. Full lot=1 space where you can find it.
Anyone taking up 2 spots in a full lot is open for loogies. Keying is a little much imo.
Monopoly[/quote]
This gets my vote, although keying does cross my mind. Moral of the story, always go shopping with a cold.
[quote]SWR-1222D wrote:
Or, what if there was some kind of emergency, the guy parked quickly, jumped out of his vehicle just in time to save the life of a stranded infant who was caught in a burning car, and after making sure the baby was back in it’s mother’s arms and the incident was cleaned up, he went about his business not thinking to re-park his vehicle to save someone from walking an extra 5 steps. Then he comes out to his car to find it vandalized.
[/quote]
I guess thats true. I had to park facing the wrong way (parked on the left side of the street) and about 2 feet away from the curb one time with my keys still in the ignition because my friend was inside and she was choking.
It was a skinny street, but I’m pretty sure there was enough room to get thru. Worst comes to worse, shit they saw the exhaust coming out of the tailpipes (it was cold) they could have moved it themselves. I would have shit a brick if I came out and there was damage to my car.
And the leaving the XXX-XXXX number thing is absolutely histerical. I’m going to do that from now on, except use a local pizza shop with guys who have heavy accents.
[quote]doogie wrote:
I once had to park in BFE to run in the grocery store and buy one thing. I hike my ass almost to the door and this prick in a company van comes flying into the handicap parking space, jumps out and leaves the van running.
I looked around, took his keys, locked the door and threw them across the lot. I walked in and he’s by the door getting cash out of the ATM. That moment was one of the highlights of my life. [/quote]
HAhahahaha thats awesome. Except the only thing I would have done different was to leave his keys in the ignition, try to find a brick or take a book or something out of my car, pull the E brake, put the brick on his gas pedal, then locked all the doors.
Could you imagine this guy’s phone call to the cops. “HURRY UP! I DONT WANT MY ENGINE RUNNING DRY!”
You people are getting carried away. Flem is fine. It comes off and it kinda falls in the “I’m not touching your shit” realm. ANything else could get you curb stomped American History X style. BTw, I’ve saw someone actually do that when I was younger, way before the film came out. DISGUSTING.
[quote]WideGuy wrote:
You people are getting carried away. Flem is fine. It comes off and it kinda falls in the “I’m not touching your shit” realm. ANything else could get you curb stomped American History X style. BTw, I’ve saw someone actually do that when I was younger, way before the film came out. DISGUSTING.[/quote]
Holy fuck.
I would’a dumped my pants.
[quote]doogie wrote:
I once had to park in BFE to run in the grocery store and buy one thing. I hike my ass almost to the door and this prick in a company van comes flying into the handicap parking space, jumps out and leaves the van running.
I looked around, took his keys, locked the door and threw them across the lot. I walked in and he’s by the door getting cash out of the ATM. That moment was one of the highlights of my life. [/quote]
Fuckin democrat, always catering to the special interests.
I usually just spit on the door handle, although for special occassions I will let down two of their tyres. I figure the inconvenience of having two flat tyres is fair for having pissed me off.
People are generally only as rude as other people let them be. So, Wideguy is correct - Fuck that guy!
When I worked in the lumber dept. at Lowe’s, assholes would pull under the canopy meant for loading, park and go shopping for 2 hours. It makes loading trailers, trucks, and cars difficult. One day, some shitbag parked his S-10 behind my forklift, as I was stacking lumber. I made several pages for the customer to move the vehicle. He came out, flipped me off, and went back inside.
So, I backed up into him, pushing his truck out of my way. I then moved around and lifted his truck to the back of the store, where I placed his truck on top of a 12-ft high lumber stack.
Needless to say, he was shocked to see his truck on a pile of lumber. Here’s the kicker; -the dipshit came to Lowe’s to buy a car jack so he could change the oil!!! -Starkdog