[quote]blackhand wrote:
Be honest, it isn’t the cable, water usage, dirty dishes, you just don’t want her around all the time. That’s fair and if you want to say something to him about it you’re well within your rights to do that. Just be prepared to accept the worst; losing him as a friend, both of them being pissy with you for weeks/months, him moving in with her and leaving you without someone to take 1/2 the bills, trying to move you out, etc. Not saying that’s going to happen, but be prepared for it.
[/quote]
That is probably true, although there is a bit more to it than that. The money isn’t a huge deal to me, but I do bust my ass for a paycheck and to pay tuition, while my roommate has parents who are extremely wealthy (like his mom is the CFO of a fortune 25 company). So paying 1/2 while I feel I’m getting less than half does bite a bit.
And dirty dishes do actually drive me insane. Just about two weeks ago I came so close to blowing a gasket over dishes. Every evening I wash dishes for use in the morning for breakfast (frying pan, cup, plate, etc.) so that when I wake up at 6am and I’m in a coma, I can just throw on some eggs. Well his gf used my dishes, without washing them after, at night after I went to bed a couple times and I almost lost it. Thankfully I stayed cool and just mentioned something politely, but I think that was ridiculously rude of her.
[quote]polo77j wrote:
[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
Walk around with your wang out … seriously, I had housemates who put me in similar situations … I just started walking around in my birthday suit like it was no big deal (which it shouldn’t be … it’s your house foo’) … So, seriously, walk around with your wang out … I started making breakfast in the nude and now it’s a habit … my gf loves it [/quote]
Lol, don’t think I have the balls for that (no pun intended), but it does piss me off to no end to have to always wear pants around my house. I’m in work slacks all day long and its always been a habit of mine to not wear pants when I get home, but I can’t do that in case the wang wants to say ‘hello’ in front of his gf.[/quote]
Baby steps man … baby steps. Start out by wearing sweats and a t-shirt and socks … you know like pj’s or something … then after a week or two of that move onto boxers or shorts and wife beater and socks … then after that move onto boxer briefs and a wife beater with socks … after that, just briefs, wife beater, socks … after that briefs and socks … then after that, socks…always wear socks, that’s the easiest way to avoid catching a cold is always wear socks[/quote]
HAHA
so, to get this straight… She keeps to herself? Isnt messy? Doesnt eat your food? and really does not get in the way for the 2 hours a day you might see her?
Other then telling your buddy that if she is gona stay over as much as she is you think she should be paying her share of the utilities (which is fair) I dont see a problem. rent i wouldnt worry about personally (you each have your own rooms) but the utilities is justified…
enjoy cheaper utilities…
and if all else fails, put it in her butt, hit her, yadda yadda yadda…
[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
[quote]blackhand wrote:
Be honest, it isn’t the cable, water usage, dirty dishes, you just don’t want her around all the time. That’s fair and if you want to say something to him about it you’re well within your rights to do that. Just be prepared to accept the worst; losing him as a friend, both of them being pissy with you for weeks/months, him moving in with her and leaving you without someone to take 1/2 the bills, trying to move you out, etc. Not saying that’s going to happen, but be prepared for it.
[/quote]
That is probably true, although there is a bit more to it than that. The money isn’t a huge deal to me, but I do bust my ass for a paycheck and to pay tuition, while my roommate has parents who are extremely wealthy (like his mom is the CFO of a fortune 25 company). So paying 1/2 while I feel I’m getting less than half does bite a bit.
And dirty dishes do actually drive me insane. Just about two weeks ago I came so close to blowing a gasket over dishes. Every evening I wash dishes for use in the morning for breakfast (frying pan, cup, plate, etc.) so that when I wake up at 6am and I’m in a coma, I can just throw on some eggs. Well his gf used my dishes, without washing them after, at night after I went to bed a couple times and I almost lost it. Thankfully I stayed cool and just mentioned something politely, but I think that was ridiculously rude of her.
[/quote]
Rule #1:
“When you are done with the dish, you should wash it immediately.”
Having this rule might help. I get pretty fussy too when the dishes are left unclean. And if the way the rent is split between basically 3 occupants bothers you, maybe you should discuss it with your friend. But, the aloof gf probably isn’t going to change because you want her to… just try continually starting convos(short) with her. She’ll notice eventually and maybe she’ll warm up to you enough to give you a bj while your friend is out. That’s what you were going for, right?
[quote]Paste42 wrote:
She doesn’t seem too bad. I don’t know all the facts but it sounds like it could be alot worse.
Try getting your gf to talk with her and see if she’ll open up to you after that?[/quote]
I don’t know about that. Being uncomfortable in your own house IS a very big issue. I understand what he means because I get that from people sometimes…as if they are about to recoil with every action you make because they think you just might hit them. If she is acting the same way, how the hell can you really relax in your own home?
You should not have to put on a facade in your own home just to make someone who doesn’t even pay rent feel comfortable.
[quote]blake2616 wrote:
[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
That is probably true, although there is a bit more to it than that. The money isn’t a huge deal to me, but I do bust my ass for a paycheck and to pay tuition, while my roommate has parents who are extremely wealthy (like his mom is the CFO of a fortune 25 company). So paying 1/2 while I feel I’m getting less than half does bite a bit.
And dirty dishes do actually drive me insane. Just about two weeks ago I came so close to blowing a gasket over dishes. Every evening I wash dishes for use in the morning for breakfast (frying pan, cup, plate, etc.) so that when I wake up at 6am and I’m in a coma, I can just throw on some eggs. Well his gf used my dishes, without washing them after, at night after I went to bed a couple times and I almost lost it. Thankfully I stayed cool and just mentioned something politely, but I think that was ridiculously rude of her.
[/quote]
Rule #1:
“When you are done with the dish, you should wash it immediately.”
Having this rule might help. I get pretty fussy too when the dishes are left unclean. And if the way the rent is split between basically 3 occupants bothers you, maybe you should discuss it with your friend. But, the aloof gf probably isn’t going to change because you want her to… just try continually starting convos(short) with her. She’ll notice eventually and maybe she’ll warm up to you enough to give you a bj while your friend is out. That’s what you were going for, right?
[/quote]
I can understand the dishes thing. When I shared a house with a group of guys it was the same damn thing. Because it was all guys, you could just snap, throw the dirty dishes at the offender and it was all good.
If she doesn’t want to wash the dishes your roommate should. He’s responsible for his guest.
[quote]blackhand wrote:
If she doesn’t want to wash the dishes your roommate should. He’s responsible for his guest. [/quote]
This is the money post. If she is living there, then your buddy should be willing/responsible for picking up the additional costs that she causes. After all, he recieves the benefit of her being there. Put another way, exactly what do you get out of her being there 24/7? If you really want to take it to it logical conclusion, he should be compensating you for her being there, as her being there all the time actually reduces the value of your apartment - that you pay an equal share for. In short, she is a free rider that is not paying her way. My guess is that she is a young immature princess that is ignorant to the fact that she is being rude and inconsiderate.
However, the reality is that you have to weigh her being there against the potential hassle of bringing it up to your roommate. What if he bails on the lease or makes your life total hell?
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Paste42 wrote:
She doesn’t seem too bad. I don’t know all the facts but it sounds like it could be alot worse.
Try getting your gf to talk with her and see if she’ll open up to you after that?[/quote]
I don’t know about that. Being uncomfortable in your own house IS a very big issue. I understand what he means because I get that from people sometimes…as if they are about to recoil with every action you make because they think you just might hit them. If she is acting the same way, how the hell can you really relax in your own home?
You should not have to put on a facade in your own home just to make someone who doesn’t even pay rent feel comfortable.[/quote]
I agree. You should be able to relax in your own home. I just figured that maybe the OP’s gf could potentially diffuse the situation and maybe befriend the roommates gf. That way it wouldn’t be so uncomfortable anymore and the roomies gf would be able to loosen up a bit.
[quote]VanderLaan wrote:
However, the reality is that you have to weigh her being there against the potential hassle of bringing it up to your roommate. What if he bails on the lease or makes your life total hell?
[/quote]
Well that really is the dilemma. I highly doubt that he would somehow just up and leave, but yes, a monetary conversation or a talk about her being over too much could cause a rift, idk. I just have to decide which option is worth more.
At least my case seems to be reasonable, as most posters agree, and I figured others have gone through this. If she was a total bitch or something then I would have had it, but she isn’t and thats what makes this harder. I guess I just don’t really like her for whatever reason, and maybe vice versa, but I’ll decide on the best course of action.
Edit: As a side rant, wtf is up with guys who meet someone and soon thereafter their life must revolve around that person? I love my roommate (no homo), and he is generally a great guy, but its annoying as hell that he has to be a perpetual overboard relationship guy.
Like I met him freshman year, and at that time he was in a 3 year relationship from someone from his hs. When she dumped his ass, it was no less than 2 WEEKS before he got into another 2.5 year relationship with a girl who lived in his dorm and was bat shit crazy. He then met this current girl only last August on a group trip to China (while he was still with the crazy) and when we went back to school in September she apparently had to start staying over everyday! Like at that point they were together for maybe a month and the shit started?
I’ve been with my gf for 4+ years now yet I fail to have an incessant need for someone to always be there. I guess I just don’t get it. /rant
[quote]polo77j wrote:
[quote]kman3b18 wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
Walk around with your wang out … seriously, I had housemates who put me in similar situations … I just started walking around in my birthday suit like it was no big deal (which it shouldn’t be … it’s your house foo’) … So, seriously, walk around with your wang out … I started making breakfast in the nude and now it’s a habit … my gf loves it [/quote]
Lol, don’t think I have the balls for that (no pun intended), but it does piss me off to no end to have to always wear pants around my house. I’m in work slacks all day long and its always been a habit of mine to not wear pants when I get home, but I can’t do that in case the wang wants to say ‘hello’ in front of his gf.[/quote]
Baby steps man … baby steps. Start out by wearing sweats and a t-shirt and socks … you know like pj’s or something … then after a week or two of that move onto boxers or shorts and wife beater and socks … then after that move onto boxer briefs and a wife beater with socks … after that, just briefs, wife beater, socks … after that briefs and socks … then after that, socks…always wear socks, that’s the easiest way to avoid catching a cold is always wear socks[/quote]
LMAO…literally choking on my food right now.