Let's Process Our Feelings II

Off Topic
1081

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Edit: Because I have mushy-gushy love feelings to process.[/quote]
How’s the new house?

Things continue to go well here. Nearly finished with the holiday season, and this is the first year we’ve really presented ourselves as a couple. Her family was here over Thanksgiving; we visited mine just before Christmas; and attended her best friend’s “destination” wedding together. It feels nice.[/quote]

Wow, a big shift for you, then. That’s nice to read. How come these things (coupleness) weren’t in play when you lived together previously?

The house. . .it desperately needs paint and siding and a complete kitchen overhaul, and I love it. Our families seemed to, too. We have a beautiful yard and view. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so cozy or happy, anywhere. Christmas was easy-going and joyous once we got to it, though I will admit to having gotten pretty stressed in the lead-up, when everything was in disarray and company was coming. Particularly as Christmas is sad and intense at work, so there was nowhere to hide.

After we got the last person off at the airport and drove back from his hometown on Saturday we got into bed and stayed there for the better part of two days, sleeping and fooling around and watching movies. We still haven’t had our first fight, which is remarkable to me given that we both get outraged fairly easily. He’s so much fun, all the time, in addition to being honest and caring and hardworking.

I feel like I’ve somehow won the world’s best guy. [/quote]

I hope the first fight goes well!

For me a strong friendship or relationship is one where we can fight without getting mad, or at least without staying mad.

I start a new career Monday. Not sure how I feel about it. At 36 I’ve only ever had jobs. Some were good paying and could have been careers if I had wanted but I had no passion for them. I know that I will miss my co-workers, who were an extremely odd bunch. They were the only coworkers I’ve ever really hung out with outside of work. I don’t miss them now as its only been two days.[/quote]

Congratulations! What will you be doing?

I love my career. Every bit of it. I love the work itself, of course, but I also like nurturing the career, which I guess is comprised of my reputation and resume-building. Hearing that someone at the parole office (lol) recommends me or that I’m spoken well of at company leadership meetings is enough to make my whole week. I hope yours gives you as much satisfaction as mine does me!

I saw your post at some point yesterday afternoon and was thinking last night that maybe we have been having “fights” and I just haven’t categorized them as such because they haven’t caused any damage whatsoever. But combining households at Christmastime and then hosting and blending families was stressful. Last night I finally unpacked books, and real estate in the book cases was/is hotly contested. The kitchen has been another area of heated negotiation, and my God, the question of what is precious and beautiful at the holiday was a big one. But there hasn’t been any anger, just occasional frustration, and nothing has lingered. [/quote]

Paid firefighter. I’m going to keep volunteering as a firefighter/EMT as well.

I’m glad to hear that you’ve had disagreements. I guess that’s the right word. I’ve had friends who were in relationships where they seemed scared to ever really disagree on anything, like they didn’t think their relationship could handle the unpleasantness. I’ve noticed in general that some people cannot handle being disagreed with. It really fucks them up.

My longest long term relationship to date was less than a year. There is probably something wrong with me in that regard, because when I see a problem I just bail on the whole thing.

1082

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Edit: Because I have mushy-gushy love feelings to process.[/quote]
How’s the new house?

Things continue to go well here. Nearly finished with the holiday season, and this is the first year we’ve really presented ourselves as a couple. Her family was here over Thanksgiving; we visited mine just before Christmas; and attended her best friend’s “destination” wedding together. It feels nice.[/quote]

Wow, a big shift for you, then. That’s nice to read. How come these things (coupleness) weren’t in play when you lived together previously?

The house. . .it desperately needs paint and siding and a complete kitchen overhaul, and I love it. Our families seemed to, too. We have a beautiful yard and view. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so cozy or happy, anywhere. Christmas was easy-going and joyous once we got to it, though I will admit to having gotten pretty stressed in the lead-up, when everything was in disarray and company was coming. Particularly as Christmas is sad and intense at work, so there was nowhere to hide.

After we got the last person off at the airport and drove back from his hometown on Saturday we got into bed and stayed there for the better part of two days, sleeping and fooling around and watching movies. We still haven’t had our first fight, which is remarkable to me given that we both get outraged fairly easily. He’s so much fun, all the time, in addition to being honest and caring and hardworking.

I feel like I’ve somehow won the world’s best guy. [/quote]

Glad to hear all is going well. The holidays are just stressful in and of themselves, and throwing a move into the middle of it can’t be too easy.

As far as your question. We’ve been “couply” together, and among some friends, but I’ve barely met her family until recently. So being seen as a couple by them, and by her closest friends, is different than by her coworkers or “situational” friends. It’s nice to know she and I are on the same page as far as seriousness now.

Everything else has been going well. I’m glad for the move (location-wise) as I can now rekindle the whole explorer/adventurer thing that’s been a part of my life when it could be. It’s nice to be able to truly get away and just alone out in the forest and the mountains. I couldn’t really do that well in the midwest.

Plus, I met up with an old friend at the wedding. We’d lost touch for a few years, but he’s one of the few people I’ve been able to relate to pretty well. Looking forward to rebuilding that friendship.

1083

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]Uncle Gabby wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Edit: Because I have mushy-gushy love feelings to process.[/quote]
How’s the new house?

Things continue to go well here. Nearly finished with the holiday season, and this is the first year we’ve really presented ourselves as a couple. Her family was here over Thanksgiving; we visited mine just before Christmas; and attended her best friend’s “destination” wedding together. It feels nice.[/quote]

Wow, a big shift for you, then. That’s nice to read. How come these things (coupleness) weren’t in play when you lived together previously?

The house. . .it desperately needs paint and siding and a complete kitchen overhaul, and I love it. Our families seemed to, too. We have a beautiful yard and view. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so cozy or happy, anywhere. Christmas was easy-going and joyous once we got to it, though I will admit to having gotten pretty stressed in the lead-up, when everything was in disarray and company was coming. Particularly as Christmas is sad and intense at work, so there was nowhere to hide.

After we got the last person off at the airport and drove back from his hometown on Saturday we got into bed and stayed there for the better part of two days, sleeping and fooling around and watching movies. We still haven’t had our first fight, which is remarkable to me given that we both get outraged fairly easily. He’s so much fun, all the time, in addition to being honest and caring and hardworking.

I feel like I’ve somehow won the world’s best guy. [/quote]

I hope the first fight goes well!

For me a strong friendship or relationship is one where we can fight without getting mad, or at least without staying mad.

I start a new career Monday. Not sure how I feel about it. At 36 I’ve only ever had jobs. Some were good paying and could have been careers if I had wanted but I had no passion for them. I know that I will miss my co-workers, who were an extremely odd bunch. They were the only coworkers I’ve ever really hung out with outside of work. I don’t miss them now as its only been two days.[/quote]

Congratulations! What will you be doing?

I love my career. Every bit of it. I love the work itself, of course, but I also like nurturing the career, which I guess is comprised of my reputation and resume-building. Hearing that someone at the parole office (lol) recommends me or that I’m spoken well of at company leadership meetings is enough to make my whole week. I hope yours gives you as much satisfaction as mine does me!

I saw your post at some point yesterday afternoon and was thinking last night that maybe we have been having “fights” and I just haven’t categorized them as such because they haven’t caused any damage whatsoever. But combining households at Christmastime and then hosting and blending families was stressful. Last night I finally unpacked books, and real estate in the book cases was/is hotly contested. The kitchen has been another area of heated negotiation, and my God, the question of what is precious and beautiful at the holiday was a big one. But there hasn’t been any anger, just occasional frustration, and nothing has lingered. [/quote]

Paid firefighter. I’m going to keep volunteering as a firefighter/EMT as well.

I’m glad to hear that you’ve had disagreements. I guess that’s the right word. I’ve had friends who were in relationships where they seemed scared to ever really disagree on anything, like they didn’t think their relationship could handle the unpleasantness. I’ve noticed in general that some people cannot handle being disagreed with. It really fucks them up.

My longest long term relationship to date was less than a year. There is probably something wrong with me in that regard, because when I see a problem I just bail on the whole thing.
[/quote]

Congratulations! I know you’ve waited a long time for this opportunity. I’m excited for you - be careful, though!

1084

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Edit: Because I have mushy-gushy love feelings to process.[/quote]
How’s the new house?

Things continue to go well here. Nearly finished with the holiday season, and this is the first year we’ve really presented ourselves as a couple. Her family was here over Thanksgiving; we visited mine just before Christmas; and attended her best friend’s “destination” wedding together. It feels nice.[/quote]

Wow, a big shift for you, then. That’s nice to read. How come these things (coupleness) weren’t in play when you lived together previously?

The house. . .it desperately needs paint and siding and a complete kitchen overhaul, and I love it. Our families seemed to, too. We have a beautiful yard and view. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so cozy or happy, anywhere. Christmas was easy-going and joyous once we got to it, though I will admit to having gotten pretty stressed in the lead-up, when everything was in disarray and company was coming. Particularly as Christmas is sad and intense at work, so there was nowhere to hide.

After we got the last person off at the airport and drove back from his hometown on Saturday we got into bed and stayed there for the better part of two days, sleeping and fooling around and watching movies. We still haven’t had our first fight, which is remarkable to me given that we both get outraged fairly easily. He’s so much fun, all the time, in addition to being honest and caring and hardworking.

I feel like I’ve somehow won the world’s best guy. [/quote]

Glad to hear all is going well. The holidays are just stressful in and of themselves, and throwing a move into the middle of it can’t be too easy.

As far as your question. We’ve been “couply” together, and among some friends, but I’ve barely met her family until recently. So being seen as a couple by them, and by her closest friends, is different than by her coworkers or “situational” friends. It’s nice to know she and I are on the same page as far as seriousness now.

Everything else has been going well. I’m glad for the move (location-wise) as I can now rekindle the whole explorer/adventurer thing that’s been a part of my life when it could be. It’s nice to be able to truly get away and just alone out in the forest and the mountains. I couldn’t really do that well in the midwest.

Plus, I met up with an old friend at the wedding. We’d lost touch for a few years, but he’s one of the few people I’ve been able to relate to pretty well. Looking forward to rebuilding that friendship.[/quote]

Nice. I’m glad it’s going well for the two of you, and that you’re finding additional benefits to having moved.

1085

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
The house. . .it desperately needs paint and siding and a complete kitchen overhaul, and I love it. Our families seemed to, too. We have a beautiful yard and view. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so cozy or happy, anywhere.[/quote]
What are your plans for the kitchen?

My girlfriend and I both cook, but excluding an apartment I “renovated” years ago, neither of us have found a place that really has enough space. We’ve looked at a number of open houses too, and the same story.

One of the houses we saw could actually have enough kitchen space if we turned the two guest bedrooms into the master, and opened up the kitchen into the existing master (which was off the kitchen).

Besides a ton of counter space, and pantry space, we both kinda want a dedicated baking room. A bit much to ask without building it ourselves.

Some of this stuff we’ve managed to fake though. I have a propane gas wok burner outside, a large griddle we can store away, and got wire shelving and a cart for additional storage (which encroaches on eating space), but it would be nice to actually have all that stuff built in. I would love a 48" stovetop + a griddle + a dedicated wok burner + two ovens. But short of my CEO’s house and commercial kitchens, I’ve never seen anything like it in a house.

1086

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[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
The house. . .it desperately needs paint and siding and a complete kitchen overhaul, and I love it. Our families seemed to, too. We have a beautiful yard and view. I don’t know when I’ve ever felt so cozy or happy, anywhere.[/quote]
What are your plans for the kitchen?

My girlfriend and I both cook, but excluding an apartment I “renovated” years ago, neither of us have found a place that really has enough space. We’ve looked at a number of open houses too, and the same story.

One of the houses we saw could actually have enough kitchen space if we turned the two guest bedrooms into the master, and opened up the kitchen into the existing master (which was off the kitchen).

Besides a ton of counter space, and pantry space, we both kinda want a dedicated baking room. A bit much to ask without building it ourselves.

Some of this stuff we’ve managed to fake though. I have a propane gas wok burner outside, a large griddle we can store away, and got wire shelving and a cart for additional storage (which encroaches on eating space), but it would be nice to actually have all that stuff built in. I would love a 48" stovetop + a griddle + a dedicated wok burner + two ovens. But short of my CEO’s house and commercial kitchens, I’ve never seen anything like it in a house.[/quote]

Propane gas wok burner? Hold on, I have to google. . .ah! I am interested in this! Remind me where you moved - can you cook outside year-round?

My kitchen needs to be updated and we want to open it up to the living room, which is through the doorway to the right in the pic with the fireplace and where the fridge is in the other pic. We’re also going to bump out to the back of the porch that runs across the back of the house. The wood stove/fireplace is a delight - we’ll put a love seat or chairs in front of it and have the table behind that. We definitely want a good gas cook top. We haven’t decided yet whether we can get that in a range or whether we need to separate - I’ve had double ovens in the past and not found them particularly useful. A big convection oven, on the other hand, is heaven. (Note: neither of us are big bakers, both of us cook.)

tl;dr I need windows.

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Second pic - I tried to resize, but apparently failed. Sorry so large!

1088

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Propane gas wok burner? Hold on, I have to google. . .ah! I am interested in this! Remind me where you moved - can you cook outside year-round?[/quote]
Yeah, the wok burner is nice. Gets 2-3x (or more) hotter than even the good gas stovetops, which makes cooking in a wok work like it’s supposed to, with all that extra smoky depth from the “wok hei”.

But it also works great with cast iron, and you can get a great sear on steaks and other meats with it. On the other hand, it would need a serious vent hood to be used inside.

Most of the larger Asian grocery stores carry them, although I had to make some modifications to get it to work better with the newer propane tanks.

Moved to the Portland, OR area, so it’s temperate enough to cook outside comfortably for most of the year, and year round with the right clothes.

The wood stove and fireplace are really nice. Is the whole place heated with wood, or is it just a backup/novelty option?

How are you planning to open it up without losing storage or counter space?

My parents put a GE range with a convection oven and warming drawer in their last two places. They really don’t cook on it much, but it’s been pretty nice to use when visiting. It’s one step down from their top of the line stuff, but still very good.

Restaurant supply stores usually have good new and used equipment for better prices than the “pro-sumer” stuff, but you have to be careful with building codes and insurance, since they usually require a different setup (firewalls, venting, fire suppression system) than the consumer products. May or may not be cheaper in the long run.

I don’t bake a lot, but she does, and there’s enough stuff that requires controlled temperatures that it would be useful to have a separate dedicated area. Tempering chocolate, icing cakes/cupcakes, puff pastry, croissant pastry, bread dough, those are all pretty temperature sensitive. Especially the pastry doughs.

1089

Em, beautiful house!

Those plank floors are gorgeous.

1090

Em nice house!!

Have you decided how you want to go, style wise? I need to renovate my kitchen too but I’m going to see if I can get another year out of it. I’m eager to do it but also afraid because I know there will be some challenges in the walls, like old knob and tube etc. I’m thinking about it lots though.

From the looks of it your house might suit a couple of my favourites, if old house is your style:

This one is so nice and warm and feels like it’s been like that forever and makes great baked goods. I don’t think it would ever go out of style and I would never tire of it.

This one is so bright and clean and looks great for such a small kitchen. The colour might be a bit much after a couple of years maybe? I have Amber shellac woodwork everywhere so I could do this I don’t think. I still love it though.

Please share more pics if you feel like it!

1091

I love the sink in that second kitchen and the open pantry is great. I really think they should’ve re-thought the open shelves over the range and a lack of a vent hood. After the first home-cooked meal, the underside of that upper shelf is going to be covered in grease.

The marble counter tops are going to be a nightmare. Marble is very porous and susceptible to acids. Spills will stain it and fats will be absorbed. I have a marble bath and a marble top on my Saarinen table and I will never have marble again.

1092

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
I love the sink in that second kitchen and the open pantry is great. I really think they should’ve re-thought the open shelves over the range and a lack of a vent hood. After the first home-cooked meal, the underside of that upper shelf is going to be covered in grease.[/quote]

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. I can see the case for the open shelves in such a small kitchen because they keep it open but those are going to get greasy.

The sink is awesome. My in laws have one of those sinks and a 100 year old pantry cabinet in their cabin up north that I want to pilfer when they decide to sell it. I’m not sure my guy will abide however.

1093

I love the look of marble but I don’t think I’d want to have to take care of it. I’m too much of a slob. Maybe on an island?

I have to rip up a few layers of tiles and if the the hardwood is restorable, then I think I would get light countertops but if it’s not then I was thinking tiles like these mosaics for the floor and walnut countertops. Maintenence is an issue there too.
http://www.subwaymosaics.com/Popular_Mosaics.html

My guy wants wood floors so he might not be sold on those.

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[quote]debraD wrote:
I love the look of marble but I don’t think I’d want to have to take care of it. I’m too much of a slob. Maybe on an island?

I have to rip up a few layers of tiles and if the the hardwood is restorable, then I think I would get light countertops but if it’s not then I was thinking tiles like these mosaics for the floor and walnut countertops. Maintenence is an issue there too.
http://www.subwaymosaics.com/Popular_Mosaics.html

My guy wants wood floors so he might not be sold on those.
[/quote]

Definitely go with the porcelain mosaic rather than marble. You have good taste, but you already knew that.

The photo is of my bathroom floor. The staining is from water underneath a bath mat allowing mold to grow. I had the entire floor ground down in order to get rid of that stain. Marble is very pretty to look at, but it’s not suitable for every day use. Unless you have a baking room, then roll all your dough on marble with a well seasoned rolling pin!

1095

Oh that makes me so sad! Those little marble tiles are gorgeous! I would love the look of them in a bathroom. I have a set of marble salt and pepper shakers that have seen better days so I figured that’s what my counters would wind up like.

1096

Personally, I wouldn’t use marble as a kitchen countertop or floor. It’s just too soft and porous.

I love the look, and I think it has its place, but it chips easily (like, say, an old fashioned glass falls on it), stains easily, and acids will just eat it away. I have a pastry board made of marble slab I use when working with dough and chocolate, but it can’t handle much else.

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You can find porcelain basket weave. It won’t have the natural variation of the white marble, but you won’t freak out when you find out your conditioner stains it either.

http://www.overstock.com/Home-Garden/SomerTile-10.5x10.5-inch-Victorian-Basket-Weave-Black-White-Porcelain-Mosaic-Tile-Pack-of-10/8929512/product.html

1098

I would not use marble either, but granite is the perfect material.

Put down your cast iron pot just off the flame. Check!
No reaction to acids. Check!
Simple cleaning with Windex. Check!
Harder than Arnold’s ass. Check!

Anything brittle will disintegrate if you drop it, but it’s a small price.
However, if you drop it into the cauldron of a volcano it will melt…eventually

1099

I have so many kitchen feelings! I need a chunk of time to sort through them.

Let me just say in the meantime that I do NOT like granite countertops.

Okay, having expressed that vital thought, back to work I go.

1100

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
Let me just say in the meantime that I do NOT like granite countertops.
[/quote]

Quartz is a better functional surface. But it generally looks artificial. What else is better than granite, sealed concrete? No way I’m using a soft or porous stone for a kitchen surface.