Labs below. I’m disappointed that Preg and DHEA weren’t included. I asked. Must have slipped through the cracks. The TSH is high but the Ts are in range. I’ve had this result before. It seems when I restart TRT or raise my dose my TSH goes up for awhile then settles back down. Interested in any thoughts.
As usual I feel awful. Headaches, can’t think straight. Awful grief / spike in brain pain I’ve described, panic attacks. Mind feels uninhabitable at least half the time. I’ve attached a spreadsheet I have been using to track dosing, symptoms, and lab results.
These are not past lab results, which you claimed to have been picture perfect. But since those wont materialize, these current labs will do in order to see where you are now. The fact is that you induced shutdown and replicated low T with exogenous T. Those numbers look like someone not on TRT.
The reason why I want to see your previous labs are because you claim that TRT ruined your life. Thats a bold statement that should be followed with past labs, so that the dots can be connected. Anyway, I will leave you alone. I cannot be of any help. Others here are perhaps a better lead for you to get back to a life that you can enjoy. I wish you a speedy recovery.
I’ll work on the past labs. It’s a lot of work to blank out all the personal info. I’m not in good shape. Today I’m having a full day panic attack. You can see that my current protocol is low, this is because my doctor wanted to start low given my history. I also didn’t claim they are ALL picture perfect just that I’ve had labs that were great and still felt awful. I just got these in an email so I thought I would share.
How are you doing now, man?
Pretty awful, thanks for asking. There is a new piece of information though. It turns out that the CPAP machine I’ve been using for maybe 10 years was not working as it claimed. The period for which this was true can’t be determined but I’ve had the machine evaluated by a lab and they confirmed it’s malfunctioning and lying about the pressure it was producing. PSA: If
So I may be suffering from years of sleep deprivation / low brain O2. I’ve since gotten a new machine.
I’m trying to do a full HPTA restart to rebaseline everything given this new piece of information and that it should be corrected by the new machine. I spend most of my days too confused and uncomfortable to function.
At this point I have multiple suspicions on what caused my to go from mostly normal to severely mentally ill over the course of a few years. I think In the end it’s one or more of a combination of the below:
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It was always in the mail genetically and activated in my mid 30s and may have been exacerbated or triggered by the Low T, poor thyroid labs 4-5 years ago. Before my first bad labs I had very very manageable depression / anxiety and it runs in my family. Nothing that stopped me from being extremely productive and successful. The difference between what I dealt with before and what I deal with now are in different ballparks on different planets, in different galaxies but I guess I could be considered predisposed. I’m now pretty much fully disabled by what has happened to me.
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The original bad labs when shortly after my CPAP started to fail with no notification. This led to the bad labs and years of trying. TRT+ trying lots of other stuff bc nothing ever worked right. This would make sense. I keep trying TRT protocol / dose / vehicle / alternative meds for years, nothing ever seems to work for long, I chase this around like crazy bc the root cause is the undiagnosed sleep deprivation and low brain O2 due to the hidden root cause of the faulty CPAP. This makes me incredibly sad but it fits. Why could I never get dialed in? Because there was an underlying condition we never knew about.
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My mind / brain still seem to really not mix well with Testosterone and TRT drugs. This was much milder at first as I would just feel " not great, not well". 1-2 days a week. It’s gotten much worse over the years where I literally do a small shot in the morning and by late afternoon I’m so confused I can barely speak or read. The worsening effect over time may be caused by the worsening, and never discovered sleep apnea thing. So, my brain keeps getting more and more damaged and unstable as I don’t get good sleep, and get bad brain O2, and it becomes more sensitive to drugs over time eventually resulting in my current state of being hypersensitive to just about everything. During this time, I’m also putting TRT drugs through a damaged mind for years without knowing. Who knows what the consequences of that are.
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I’ve been on Lexapro most of my adult life. I’ve often wondered if it did something to my brain that made it incompatible with TRT. Or complicated the matter. The six most widely used selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors decrease androgens and increase estrogens in the H295R cell line - PubMed
That’s the update. We’ll see how the restart goes. This is probably the last thing I’ll try bc it’s been years of torture at this point and I’m losing the ability to take care of myself.
Hopefully it’s just a simple tweak with the the CPAP machine - TRT tends to make sleep apnea worse for many. Some speak to their theory that this is why TRT tends to increase HCT in men; it’s our body’s adaptation to the lower levels of O2 at night due to worsening of sleep apnea.
Any update from you?
Thanks for checking in.
I’ve had a new CPAP since early April so a bit under 3 months.
I’m at the end of my HPTA restart. Taking enclomiphene. Even with the new CPAP Test would still would lock up my mind and make me useless.
I’m still not that well mentally but am seeing slow progress.
I have been able to get back in the gym some which is good.
At this point my suspicion that I’ll never be able to prove is that my CPAP went bad a few years ago and has been messing me up and giving me minor brain damage. This would be why I could never get “dialed in”, and why that problem appeared to get worse over time even with the same exact protocols. It would also explain why I could have labs that were fine and still have all these weird symptoms.
New research shows that brain damage caused by untreated sleep apnea can take 3 months for Grey Matter to recover and up to a year for white matter Severe Sleep Apnea Brain Damage is Reversible | AASM
I’m hoping I keep getting better. Being patient after all this suffering is tough.
Still not the labs like middleages asked for … i call a lying bullshitter. Get a hold of your life and stop trolling ppl on the internet. Booooo hoooo me ohhhh i feel awful. Put down the twinkies and video game and go do something with your life storyteller!!!
Sorry if I’ve missed it, what are your height and weight?
What’s it like being an absolutely awful human being?
I’m 5’10" 220 and dropping. The test caused me to gain weight and that probably didn’t help the untreated sleep apnea issue.


