Just Lost My Virginity at 23

Off Topic
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To add to this-

It seems to be human nature to attempt to attribute intent to whatever someone else does to you.

I think the intent you attribute depends largely on some the various world-views/philosophies you possess.

Anyways, to put it simply, your world-views/philosophies may differ significantly from the folks you’re interacting with. As such, assuming that whatever intent you attribute to another’s action is the correct one is a grand way to cause gigantic misunderstandings.

This is probably one of the more difficult things you can ever master, but do try to avoid doing this. Chances are, what you think is happening may not be the case at all.

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Generally speaking, women are enormous troublemakers in the workplace. Having worked in healthcare for over a decade, I think it’s fair for me to say this from experience and observation.

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Not really things that could get me fired, unless i was to respond really angrily or something. More just rude comments / digs or provoking behavior. The only reason it’s relevant to this thread is because initially I thought they were flirting, because some girls (strangely) do attempt to flirt by being rude, but increasingly I just see it as being rude. I’m not rude to anyone at work so it pisses me off.

The thing that sucks is that I don’t actively seek out drama, so when people do things that tempt that side of me I feel like it doesn’t really make a difference whether I am an asshole or not. It could be the fact that I work in food, but I know a guy who is an ER doc and their dept. has its own version of the same shitty drama.

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how many close friends do you have? Do you have any acquaintances too? I ask in seriousness. It seems to me that you don’t know people generally, which is common amongst womanless men.

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Ease up a little. Find an excuse to smoke one with one of these “agitators”.

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I used to have more friends, but around the college age people change a lot and I found that a lot of guys become assholes or became selfish and not interesting in really having a friendship with the give and take dynamic i think it should be. I have always got along easier with women because they often aren’t coming at you with the same aggressive energy that many men are. For that precise reason, I have maybe 1 or 2 friends at the moment

There’s an idea. Many of them do actually. Pothead women generally have attitude i have found

..

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Yeah. It like a social lubricant of sorts. It gives you a few minutes of not working time and creates an inside joke that you two are buzzed up with each other with giggles, snickers, and knowing glances.

Added benefit is that when she talks to her friends, she’ll vouch you in to the in group.

Sticky icky = WD-40.

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Now that i think about it i am a pothead and i get pissy too. I don’t think weed makes you pissy, i just think that the people who use it are more likely to have been thru situations and things that would make them pissy or intolerant of BS.

I respect my boundaries but tolerance towards others, as well as not judging too quickly, goes a long way.

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I don’t know about that. I used it (and abused it) as a coping tool and for a lot of problems it couldn’t solve. Everybody has their own reasons. Most people I know now (being a mid 40’s adult) are just casual tokers. It could be a beer after work, or a couple of tokes out fishing.

I wouldn’t recommend it as a treatment for childhood trauma, but to lighten up a social setting and have a few laughs, sure.

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Actually thanks to weed i remember very little of my childhood - except when i smoke. Then a lot of it comes back. I had a decent childhood, it was around 14 where everything went to hell for me.

And the reason for that is because you have to grow up. As unmanly as it is i am a sensitive guy, and shoving it all under the carpet because the world said that was what i had to do was very hard for me

Lol i cant believe i am posting this on a BODYBUILDING forum. but the 5 beers i just drank may have something to do with it. Luckily since i work there i have plenty of Taco Bell Mild ™ sauce on hand, which is my sure-fire hangover cure

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Yeah. That stuff is all relative. I’d love to proctect my son from hardship and ensure that he has a fulfilling life of ease and comfort, but there are going to be bumps along the way.

Best thing I can do is teach him how to get through the bumps and bruises and on to better things.

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I’ll probably tell my future son to avoid 3 things. self pity, cigarettes, and porn.

Those are 3 things that got me absolutely nowhere, and furthermore did some damage. All of them i engaged in out of hopelessness and giving up, and it only dug me deeper into the pit of despair.

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Strange social question. Last night a girl sat next to me at a bar. The bar was packed but her back was to me and her shoulders and hips ended up making contact with mine for like 15 minutes. I didn’t say anything and neither did she. Some people have told me it meant nothing, others said i should have said something. What do you think?

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I think you’re thinking too much into it. That and you could’ve made a move but you didn’t. I hope she wasn’t hot.

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Why do you hope she wasn’t hot. because i could’ve made a move?

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Haha. ‘Oh sorry, didn’t mean to bump you. Can I get you a drink to make it up to you?’

Then the classic… ‘so, you come here often’

I still say that line to my wife all the time, as a joke when we go out.

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Yes. What @dchris said.

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ah gotcha. much to learn, i still have

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I’ll share a little anecdote though - I’m turning 23 in May and until a few months ago i used to hang out with a 33 year old pothead guy in a college town. He was a nice enough dude, more approachable than many of my peers. a little ‘out there’, shall we say, but that’s to be expected with weed culture.

The problem was, at 33 he was still hitting on 20 year old college age girls and walking around town and trying to crash parties like he was a frat boy. Girls steered waaaaay around him.

“hey, didn’t he graduate…10 years ago?” The guy never seemed as cool after that.

A few things to be learned from this, IMO - #1, appreciate yet ultimately move through the college party / relationship scene, accept (rather than ignore) the responsibilities of adulthood - B, know your own level… I really felt bad for the guy seeing him pathetically try to make compliments to any passing sophomore yet have them think he was some crazy, rapey, creepy dude. Finally, C, remaining a manchild is fine - as long as it’s on the inside. When your outward behavior reflects it into your 30s, in the wrong ways, you start to run into problems. He never grew up, which is a sentiment i have compassion for, but as far as relationships with women go…if you want one, you do need to grow up in that regard.

It was honestly eye-opening, it made me realize both the wisdom of his elder age but at the same time the beautiful thing that being young is. So i have started to learn to live more in the moment but never go a day in life without learning something

Not the leaf in the stream, too weak and impressionable, and yet not the rock in the stream, too inflexible and resistant to change. Rather, be the cat-tail reed in the stream, move back and forth, adapt, yet remained rooted in what matters.

/socio-psychological babble of an ex-philosophy major

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“I get older and the college girls stay the same age…”

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