As much as I hate to say it, my previous escape from the obsession also included leaving this forum. If you go back by date, you’ll see that I used to post a lot. At one point, I had one of the top two or three active threads on this site and it was just my log. Talk about a Chatty Cathy…
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I have a frightening amount in common with you…
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3.8.26 Week 7 TM Test
Bench Day
Bench Press
135 x 5
185 x 5
215 x 5
235 x 3
255 x 5
Not as fast as Jim would like but I think I hit 3 decent reps. No adjustment for this TM yet.
Machine Row - Underhand Grip
220 x 10
235 x 10
250 x 10
That is all. My son and I practiced shooting after this. I’m worn out and ready for a lighter week.
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Have you ever read Jordan Raynor’s Redeeming Your Time? I ask because I used to struggle with this:
The perspective Raynor offers in that book helped me view things in a different light.
YMMV, of course, as maybe work isn’t really a concern, but I found it helpful after my job change a few years back: I was really finding it difficult to accept just how much more time and mental capacity the new position was consuming.
Knowing this is half the battle, and gut checks from good teaching are never a bad thing—embrace the tension, brother!
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I have not but it sounds about right. I think the average American probably needs a reset every once in awhile when it comes to where our focus goes.
I’ve been talking to my wife about selling our house and our rental house and buying some land outside of town. I grew up outside of town on 5 acres and so did she. I’m trying not to get ahead of myself and take it slow. Part of me wonders if I’m longing for a world that no longer exists - the one before smart phones where we had five TV channels and a phone connected to the wall. There’s a feeling in my brain when I think about the scenario, but I want to make sure it’s not just nostalgia clouding my judgement.
And if you’re wondering how these things are related, I find myself wanting to remove the modern distractions hoping to free myself from their grasp. If we build a home on some land, the house will be smaller than our current one because we’d have reason not to be in it. But would we actually seize the opportunity or would we continue living the way we are just with more outdoor maintenance?
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3.9.26
No training today because I’m being lazy. Maybe I’ll go for a walk or jump on the Airdyne at home. But my first stop after work is the chiropractor.
Inspired by @T3hPwnisher’s food porn, I thought I’d brag about my Sunday cooking (sorry, no photos). I decided to throw that corned beef brisket in the slow cooker but didn’t have any broth. I ran to the store to get some and spent $121. They had ribeye steaks on sale for $10/lb! I had to buy two packs so I got six steaks for about $65. I grilled those plus eight burger patties that have bacon and cheddar mixed in (another sale item) and the brisket finished up around 8pm. The kids and I ate one steak for lunch but dinner was at my in-laws to celebrate my nephew’s 19th birthday. They treated us to burger sliders on Hawaiian rolls. Think I had six patties and four rolls when it was all said and done. And now I have all this delicious beef for meal prep for the week.
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What a steal! Outstanding find there.
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It’s the first time I’ve purchased ribeyes from the grocery store. But how could I not since they were marked down from $20.99/lb?
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I think this is something I can speak to. My husband’s cousin moved to Oregon several years ago. He told my husband how wonderful it was going to be because there are endless miles of trails and he couldn’t wait to get there so he could spend time in the woods. Trouble being, there are endless miles of trails here. He never set foot on a single trail while he was here and shockingly has spent no time on the trails in Oregon. Why? Because although the idea of it was fantastic, he didn’t actually want it. His location made no difference because it wasn’t the activity that he enjoyed, it was the idea of it. Now take me for example. I grew up with mountains in my back yard and never even knew that trails were a thing. I spent years lost in the TV and scrolling endlessly on social media. It turned me into a fat miserable woman who’s entire life was falling apart. I made a choice to change those things. I dropped all social media and turned off the god damned TV. I found a trainer to show me how to lift and I bought some equipment. Then I found trails and started to run them. There was no change of location. It was a change of desires and mindset. I say all of that to say this. If you want to live differently you will. Location won’t change how you live. The good news is, you can change how you live right where you are, then when you decide to change where you live to better suit you, you won’t have to guess if you will be stuck in the same rut. That’s just how I see it. Take my opinion with a grain of salt.
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Thank you for sharing! That’s a great point and great advice. I’ve kind of crammed the whole scenario into a package deal - my wife gets to stay home and I get to move out of the city. She frequently points out that she hates that she has to work, so I’ve kind of tried to create a win-win thing instead of just finding a way for her to win… More to consider and ponder…
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Hmmm .. I think maybe I spoke to a different point than the one you were making. If you are speaking of reducing your cost of living in order to reach shared goals then I would say that is a very good idea. I think my point was that changing your location won’t change who you are. Like, you aren’t going to magically love the beach if you don’t love the beach just because you move closer to one. But if what you want is a life outside of the city and what she wants is the ability to stay at home and finding a smaller place outside of the city makes both of those things possible, then heck yeah. If you are unhappy in your location, then a change of location is probably in order. And yes, you will probably have more yard to take care of. 
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No, you were spot on initially. The idea of moving has multiple aspects that appeal to me. I miss the small town life I grew up with. My hometown is only about 25 minutes away from us, but having one high school of 450-500 (my high school) students is a lot different than attending a high school with 2400+ students (where we work and where our kids will attend). The district also has eight other high schools. There is no sense of community here. There is no booster club. Attendance at athletic events is pathetic - the players’ parents don’t even show up. There is no alumni involvement. We have graduates who played in the NFL but they are nowhere to be found. You’d think there would be rooms or buildings with their names on them.
Another big aspect regarding schools is that my current town/city has nothing available for middle school kids. The rural areas all have little league teams for the major sports starting in elementary school. My town is either sell-your-soul-club-teams or rec leagues that are terrible. There aren’t really any sports offered by the schools, but if we go to a rural school my son can play sports for the school. Currently, the only option for football here is clubs and it’s so exciting that they have to pay police to be present as security (don’t worry, it’s an off duty job and extra money for the officers) and even that doesn’t stop them from being a fool. A guy trying to sell food was shot and killed this past season - AT A YOUTH FOOTBALL GAME! No, thank you. I can’t stand being around deadbeat parents who only show up on game day expecting their 9 year old to sign a contract after the game.
Besides the smalltown community aspect that is missing here, I feel safer in the countryside. Just a few days ago some rando tried to snatch an 8 year old girl off the street. It wasn’t my neighborhood but a reminder that it still happens. I feel like the odds would be lower if my kids were playing outside on 5 acres of land miles away from a city or town.
There are many other reasons - some would be a slight change in lifestyle such as having chickens and goats and maybe even a cow or two (might be cheaper to raise my own steaks).
(I’ve spent way too much time on this post so forgive me if it’s all over the place).
I guess to summarize, you weren’t off on your initial assessment and your advice is still very welcome (and helpful!). The move isn’t necessarily to find a life I think I’ll live. At face value, it’s probably me trying to recapture a previous life/experience and I’m still not 100% certain it exists. It really hinges on my wife. If she decides she doesn’t want to work anymore then we’ll seriously consider it. Unfortunately, my current math tells me that I make enough to just about break even every month with expenses and that’s the bare minimum. That’s not comfortable, so she’d probably still have to work (or I’d have to pick up a side gig). Luckily, it’s still a scenario that’s in play. She has mentioned missing her old college job of being a bartender or server. It pays cash and it’s fairly mindless compared to what we do now. If she’d enjoy that, then we’d be fine.
For now, it’s just stressful and fun to think about all the possibilities. I’m starting to lean towards the side of the equation where it’s too expensive, though. Doing nothing would be the easiest thing, and maybe even the best.
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There is a lot to be said about a small town community. We live outside of a small city in the suburbs. We were in a similar situation of, how bad are we willing to fuck ourselves to put our kids in a better school district. Turns out we were pretty willing. Lol. We had to change some future plans for ourselves as far as work goes but I think the trade-off was worth it. We live in a safe neighborhood and my kids are about as safe at their school as is possible. They would have been in a school that had to cancel their football season because no athletes were eligible (too many tested positive for drugs) and now they are at a school where they have team dinners to build a sense of community.
It sounds to me like you are trying to find a life that is better and safer for your children. I would say a simpler life absolutely exists. But it’s something that you have to actively work for in today’s society. It’s hard to put the phone away when you get home and keep the laptop or TV off. That doesn’t mean it’s not possible. To my earlier point, getting away from the technological aspect is something that you can do regardless of location. That is what I meant by saying you can change how you live. I would say however that that is not the root for your discontent. You don’t appear to be living with an unrealistic view of a simpler life. You appear to be aware of the disadvantages of your current location and looking for a way to improve your situation.
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Something that reduces my sense of urgency or anxiety about moving is that they officially “opened” enrollment last year. We should be able to enroll in any school we want as long as there’s space. I think the kids who live within the district map get first priority, but then it’s up in the air. I’m sure we could show them we mean well and our kid(s) won’t be a pain in the rear.
Killing tech is something we occasionally do correctly. If the weather is nice, my wife and I often enjoy just sitting outside. We have a small fire pit but it’d be nice to really open things up and go full bonfire sometimes (but someone might call the Fire Dept on us). Our kids do pretty well if we shut everything down. The part of me in favor of moving says they’d have more space and more things to do in the country. I’d get a basketball goal, we could build trails or bike paths on the property, things like that. If my kids want to ride bikes now, it makes me nervous and we limit where they go. I’d feel much more comfortable if I knew they were riding on our property behind our house.
I’m actually jealous if this means they tested positive for some form of PED. If that’s the case, at least they tried! Our kids are so lazy and just play because they were born fast. Team dinners? Ha! Our district doesn’t even own buses. We lease them. The only team that gets a bus for travel is football and it’s due to all the equipment. Every other team has to drive themselves unless it’s a true road trip out of town and those are rare. The track team has to rent their own charter buses. And who pays for that? Each individual team. We have no money for ‘athletics’. Each team has to raise their own money if they want anything. I struggle to comprehend it.
Lastly, what’s not exciting about potentially having a brand new house!? New kitchen, new bathrooms, all the things. It would be kind of nice to have a say in some of those things. We could definitely improve our current home, and that’s something we might do if we decide to stay put.
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That is not the case. Lol. Think more recreational…
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It’s like the Mariusz Pudzianowski story about being stripped of a WSM for failing the drug test…for cocaine.
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Well, I think there is a rule for highschool kids using drugs and alcohol and sport eligibility.
Oh their absolutely is. If nothing else, the athlete controlling bodies don’t want kids dying out on the field due to trying to perform hard while on some sort of drug cocktail.
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I think in our case it was more of a, wow! How hard were you partying this weekend, type situation. Not, oh poor guy just wanted to perform at his top ability.
I’ve never heard of any kids being tested in these parts. Too expensive.
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