I appreciate the condolences, men. I’ve been struggling with the world and this just adds to that. The world is full of injustice and my brain wants to make sense of that and fix it. But I can’t. Humans are imperfect and this is literally the devil’s playground. Bad things happen and there’s no reason for it.
My struggles are accepting the world and people the way God does. Paul wrote one third of the Bible, but if I’d met him as Saul then I would’ve tried to kill him. My human brain can’t forgive like God can. After they arrested Will’s killer, I thought of how I’d enjoy a few minutes in a room with nothing be me, him, and a sledge hammer. That’s not forgiveness. I know that if that person asked God to save him and forgive him then he would in an instant. But I’m here feeling like anything short of a death sentence is injustice. I don’t know if I’ll ever shake these thoughts but I’ll pray for it every day. It only causes anger.
On a training related note, I’m calling an audible again. I’m going to do 5/3/1 for the usual lifts and then just wing it from there. I’m going back to my old way of training - a bro split. 5/3/1 works with that and my goals.
- Squat day will obviously be leg day.
- Bench day will be chest day.
- Deadlift day will be back day.
- Press day will be shoulders.
I have several months of Tier Three Tactical training that combines bodybuilding with CrossFit. Each session is finished with a WOD of sorts. I can use those for conditioning. I was going to do an 8 minute AMRAP of 5 pull ups and 5 hang cleans today. I also need to jump back on the elliptical. Running will be a bonus.
The path is unchanged. I’m still trying to not suck. Thanks to @kleinhound I have this rating scale to guide me.