My first post. I am just using it as an opportunity to whine.
I am in my 40’s, middle aged. I went for a major change of careers. It involved going back to school for a few years. It was a huge sacrifice. Left a decent career to do it. It was not just a matter of better financial opportunity - I honestly thought it would be a great opportunity to serve mankind too.
So I am done with school and ready to make the next step. The only real contract that has been offered me is some place I really don’t want to live. I would be there 3 years.
It is in a very little town - under 15,000 people. In my late 20’s and into my mid 30’s I lived in a midwest town of 3,000. I cannot tell you how much I hated it. one time for something to do, I had heard a rumor that a guy in town had taken an old pick up truck and painted it pink and put bull horns on the front. I put the kids in the stroller and walked across town to see if it was true. It was. I stood there looking at that truck, and then walked home. I knew my life was at an all time low.
I love where I live now. Large progressive city with several professional sports teams. Lots of music concerts. Great weather. Now I am moving back to a very small midwestern town - lousy weather, nothing but cows and corn fields in any direction for an hour or so of driving.
Its a huge next step in this career, I took the contract - but I just want to cry. I hate the thought of living in bumfuck snowy midwest again. 3 years may not seem like much to many of you, but I figure I have about 20 good years left and then I am in Depends undergarments. 3 years is a huge chunk of those 20 years.
I so wish I had not left my old career, but it would be next to impossible to get back into my old career after all these years of school - there has been very significant changes in the profession.
There is not much anyone can say. It was my choice. I just did not foresee this and wish it was not so.
Wow. Thanks for the kind response. I really expected to get flamed.
Well, its not like most jobs. I went back to medical school to become an MD. I had a decent career before but it was all about money - I made the same as I will make as an MD. But lots of changes in that profession in the past 4 years and going back would require a huge learning curve.Plus I would have to build my clientele again in the old profession and it would be years for money to start rolling in again. I really saw medicine as this huge chance to leave some sort of legacy of service.
After medical school you have to do residency. I applied to about 50 programs this year (2008-2009), got 15 interviews - none locally.
I graduated in 2007, and that year I interviewed locally here but blew it. I had 4 interviews locally but at one of the interviews I realized I did not want to be at that specific program here, and left in the middle of the interview - I was doing a cardiology rotation at the time for med school that was super busy, never getting to see my family, and realized early in the interview that I did not want to be there, so felt I could better spend the day seeing my family instead of sitting in an interview I was not really interested in. I excused myself politely, said I was not interested and went home to hang out with family.
I did not realize how close all the residency programs are out here, and that program director called all the other programs and told them what a prima donna I was and that it would be best not to select me. So I screwed myself locally - I had no idea programs talk so much amongst themselves. This was last year (2007-2008). Now in retrospect I would gladly be in that program compared with moving to this small town.
I only applied to 4 programs last year (2007-2008) - all here locally, after my walking out of the interview none selected me for residency and my actions closed the doors out here. There are 5 family medicine (my specialty) programs out here - which is alot, but they all have a really bad impression of me after that.
I had some good interviews this year (2009-2009) in Orlando and Alexandria. They expressed interest in me but offered no early contracts. THey have both told me I am a “strong candidate” and would “love to have me there” but have not offered me a prematch contract.
Every year about 30,000 medical graduates apply for residency through what is called “the match”. There are about 22,000 residency positions, so about 8000 get screwed each year. In september medical students apply for interviews (costs a few hundred bucks to apply to something like 10 programs, and a few thousand to apply to perhaps 100 programs). In the fall the programs offer interviews. Then in January all the medical students submit a list of the top 10 places they would like to match, and the hospitals submit a rank list of who they would like to have as residents there in the order they prefer them. Then in March a computer sorts these lists and tries to find a match for everyone.
About 60% of the people applying for residency are traditional, meaning they are United States graduates who are just graduating this year. About 40% are independants (United States graduates who graduated more than a year ago, foreign medical graduates, Canadian graduates, DO’s - osteopathic graduates etc). Traditional graduates have to wait for the match in March. Independants can be offered early contracts called prematches.
A traditional has about a 90% chance of matching if they go to 4 interviews. An independant has about a 75% chance of matching if they have 10 interviews. I was offered 15 interviews this year, but due to logistics only kept 10 of them. So I have a 25% chance of not matching - since I am an independant.
I was offered a prematch contract, in a very small cold snowy midwestern town. I feel I have to take the sure thing - since I have a considerable chance of not matching again. Each year an independant sits out , the less desireable they become and the less the odds of them ever matching - you forget things and programs do not want to take someone who is behind the learning curve.
So I am too scared to wait for the Match in March - even though it could mean some place I would prefer like Orlando.
Plus for various reasons my family will not be able to move with me for at least a year. My marriage has been pretty rocky and along with living in a town where the highlight of a week might be seeing a pink pick up truck, I fear losing my kids etc. Looking forward to being on call for 30 hour shifts twice a week, and working 12 hour minimum shifts all the other days sucks. The past year I took a job teaching in high school, and am surprised how much I love it-I am tempted to just stay and do that.
Its a big step towards becoming an MD, but I am afraid the cost is going to be too great. My heart feels very heavy over this.
I never really had a good experience with a medical doctor, until the late 90’s when an MD put me on hormone replacement. I felt so much better. That is what made me consider being an MD.
Hi Fawkes:) Oh boy, do I feel your pain. I was born and raised a city girl and two months ago, I made the move to a very small village, 900 miles from home to be close to my family. My father has neurological issues from multiple brain surgeries, my brother is schizophrenic and my mother is displaying early signs of alzheimer’s. I thought, in my heart, that I was doing the right thing. Truth of the matter is, I can’t stand it here.
I honestly have to agree with Testy here. If the teaching option is there, can you not just take that route and keep applying elsewhere until you get an offer from a location that you and your wife would both like? Also, do you have any children? If so, how old are they?
It’s very hard when you want to establish your career and you’re torn between that and what’s right for your family. I really, really wish you all the best and I can see you’re giving it a lot of thought. Hang in there and stay strong.
Wow, MSM - that is a very difficult situation to be in. Caregiving is one of the most stressful things a person can do - I feel bad for whining now. Props to you
I have 4 children by the way, ages 6 -17. One reason my family would not move for a year is so that my oldest can finish high school his senior year here. The kids are everything to me - if it was not for them my wife and I would have split up ages ago. My oldest son and I are very close, we lift weights together, train in sports together etc.
Small town life really sucks to me - you always feel like you are on stage. Seriously, when my oldest son was in kindergarten he apparently had to stand with his nose to the wall on recess because he spit on some girls - the town gossip (an old lady named Marietta) told me about it mid-day. My son was amazed that when I came home I knew he had gotten in trouble. Everyone knows everything and there is nothing to do.
Currently I don’t drink or use recreational drugs. I imagine that within a few months of living there I will be drunk most of my free time, and probably having an affair - which would be around town in less than 24 hours - after which if my family did move there they would hear about it. Ugh…not sure I can take it.
[quote]MsM wrote:
Hi Fawkes:) If the teaching option is there, can you not just take that route and keep applying elsewhere until you get an offer from a location that you and your wife would both like? [/quote]
Wow, this is a very kind website. I really expected to go up in flames.
Matching for residency only occurs once a year. I am already a year post-graduate, and every year that expires makes me all the less desireable. Things change in medicine rapidly - one year its considered standard to first take a chest x-ray if an upper aortic aneurysm is suspected, the next year the standard is to do a transesophageal ultrasound the first thing. Nobody wants to re-educate someone during residency - they expect you to be able to run with the ball. So if I sit out another year the number of programs I might possibly match into is very far and few between - many programs will not even look at your application after one year.
So, no more applications could go in until September 15 of 2008, and that would be for the March 2009 Match.
All residencies start in July (except for a very few) - so the whole process is very seasonal, and a person gets rapidly behind the 8 ball if they miss a step in the process.
Wow, this is a very kind website. I really expected to go up in flames.
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Don’t worry, you’re going to get flamed, but the kids don’t get out of school till 3:00.
Try to look at the advantages of your situation. Since it’s a small town, you’re very likely to see the same patients more frequently, both in and out of your office. So you will have a better chance than most city doctors to get to know your patients and build a personal relationship with them. As they get to know you and become more comfortable around you, it will probably be easier for them to discuss their problems with you.
You come across as having a very negative and defeated attitude. Life is what you make of it. If all you see is shit, your life will be shit. If you are not happy, change that.
Good point Gabby and Matt. I am pretty good at keeping my mind focused, but there are some things that just evoke emotions that I can’t seem to control.
One is landscape - large bodies of water and mountains are my favorites. I just feel better around them. Midwest is flat corn fields and something about it, especially in late fall and winter is mega-depressing to me. It is just this suffocating feeling.
Another is large buildings - its like mountains, I just feel better with some altitude nearby.
I need to find a way to feel better about small 2 story brick buildings everywhere and corn fields. When I moved out that small midwest town 10 years ago I was soooooo happy.
Its kind of like girls - it takes no work to get a happy feeling around girls. I don’t understand the whole idea that a persons sexuality is a choice because I know I could not choose to like guys all of a sudden or something - I know I could not control the flinch and vomit reaction.
Squats, milk and stick it in her pooper may be the best advice yet.
[quote]Fawkes wrote:
Wow, MSM - that is a very difficult situation to be in. Caregiving is one of the most stressful things a person can do - I feel bad for whining now. Props to you
I have 4 children by the way, ages 6 -17. One reason my family would not move for a year is so that my oldest can finish high school his senior year here. The kids are everything to me - if it was not for them my wife and I would have split up ages ago. My oldest son and I are very close, we lift weights together, train in sports together etc.
Small town life really sucks to me - you always feel like you are on stage. Seriously, when my oldest son was in kindergarten he apparently had to stand with his nose to the wall on recess because he spit on some girls - the town gossip (an old lady named Marietta) told me about it mid-day. My son was amazed that when I came home I knew he had gotten in trouble. Everyone knows everything and there is nothing to do.
Currently I don’t drink or use recreational drugs. I imagine that within a few months of living there I will be drunk most of my free time, and probably having an affair - which would be around town in less than 24 hours - after which if my family did move there they would hear about it. Ugh…not sure I can take it.[/quote]
My intention wasn’t to make you feel badly for me…it was more to tell you that a move is a huge thing and so are career climbs, just make sure that you take all of your options into consideration. They are all big decisions.
lol Yes, the small towns are like that for sure. Hard to keep the balance between keeping your private life, private and still seeming social at the same time.
Wow, some of you guys are a tough crowd. Not saying the OP shouldn’t buck up and be strong but he sure does have a lot of things and a lot of people to take into consideration.
How, all of a sudden, did the thread turn to homo’s, squats, milk and…oh never mind. lol You guys are too much.
I would say find a place where you AND your wife want to live, and try to find a teaching position in the area. If you are both happy, maybe your marriage will start to fix itself. I would deff say wait for the eldest to finish highschool though. He would have a terrible graduation in a different town.
My intention wasn’t to make you feel badly for me…
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I don’t feel pity for you, but certainly recognize being a care giver for 3 people is a HUGE thing to do. Its very difficult. When I did my geriatrics rotation I saw what a heavy thing it was to simply deal with someone who has Alzheimer’s. To be caregiving with all 3 people is saintlike.
You have an MD which in itself is a fucking impressive achievement, and something I would never have the intellect or the drive to achieve. So props to you pal. If you can do that, then i’m sure you will figure this out. I hope it works out for you!
Thanks Adam. It was a very hard thing to do. Studying for my 3 medical boards (USMLE - United States Medical Licensing Exams) was the hardest. I sometimes literally put in 18 hours a day. The drive is more important than the intellect - at least in my case.
I decided to turn down the early prematch contract I was offered. It was a really agonizing decision. To work this hard and turn down a sure thing. All residencies I take are going to suck some way : 80+ hour weeks, location, lack of certain educational opportunities.
Since residency is about completing medical education I am making my decisions much easier by basing it on that - and this early contract was not the best educational program. Several I interviewed at offer much more demanding education. So if I have to give up that many hours a week and live some place I don’t like, I have to demand I get a great education out of it.
I turned down the contract. As soon as I did I felt like I had made a huge mistake. They gave it to someone else so there is no going back. The match is in March and I do hope I match to some residency - I have put so much into medical school. I cannot believe I did not take the contract, even though it was not my favorite, after all I have been through.
MSM, is that your picture? It is very enjoyable to look at.