John Basedow - Worthless Rant

Off Topic
1

Im sick and fucking tired of watching these Fitness Made Simple commercials with tons of out of shape people orgasming over a guy who weighs 145 lbs at 5’8. Why in gods name would any person want to achieve a body that looks like that of an Ethiopian distance runner.

I have really simple fitness goals for people wanting to look like him. Eat less calories than you are now, and just run around aimlessly for 2 hours a day.

It really is a sad state of affairs when a guy who I literally have NEVER seen on a publication claims himself a fitness model, and writes a book about doing things you did in gym class. This leads to a following of sheep who latch on to the easiest and truthfully most worthless editorial possible.

Maybe it’s the fact that I read material on this website, and see men who actually put in hours and hours of SIMPLY INTENSE TRAINING. I would much rather read the posts on any of the common threads here at T-Nation and be presented more meaningful and life altering fitness advice than John Basedow could ever possess.

So to whom it may concern, do me a favor, every time you see this commercial on your TV, make a point of giving out a piece of advice to a novice lifter or any person looking for help. The reason for this is because the more people that you can turn away from Fitness Made simple the better both the world, and our commercials will be.

Thanks for reading.

Woohitter

2

340×515 45.5 KB

Forget John Basedow, I can make you a custom training program, all you need is a rubber band, and a 3 lb. pound dumbell. The best part is it only takes 15 minutes a week.

3


You will definately need this…

4

Honestly, my dad looks just like John Basedow. My friends have been giving me shit the past decade.

5

He looks much much better than you do, and he’s in all likelihood a millionaire. That makes you a keyboard warrior and a hater.

Oh, and if you think that if someone overweight just needs to “Eat less calories than you are now, and just run around aimlessly for 2 hours a day,” to look like him, then you’re an idiot.

-dizzle

7

[quote]pushharder wrote:
Don’t forget his abs were surgically enhanced. That’s what makes him a snake in my book.[/quote]

were they? he has the overall leanness to not need help in that dept. If anything, I’d say his head was surgically enhanced, b/c it doesn’t fit his body.

8

[quote]woohitter wrote:
Im sick and fucking tired of watching these Fitness Made Simple commercials with tons of out of shape people orgasming over a guy who weighs 145 lbs at 5’8. [/quote]

Actually, having seen him working out at a World Gym on Long Island multiple times two years ago, he’s more like 6’1" and 170 lbs. Not that it was very impressive or anything.

I had only seen him using the cardio equipment, using the plate loaded dip machine (not the assisted dip) and crunches on one of the benches in the fitness- and medicine ball area of the gym. He rarely talked to anyone while he was there. Just came in with his blue shirt and purple headband and did his thing.

You’re welcome to call bullshit on this, but one time he did take the plates off the hammer strength rowing machine between sets when I went to the water fountain.

10

I don’t think he’s as bad as the “I got fucking hyoge on a Bowflex” infomercials. Have any of you seen the actual infomercial? I’ll break it down for you, if you don’t have a Bowlfex you:

Are fat.
Nobody likes you.
Have never had sex.
Never will have sex(unless you get a Bowflex).
Have a small penis.
Women laugh at you.
You should probably just kill yourself or get a Bowflex.

And if you get a Bowflex you will look like a amature bodybuilder by working out twice a week for half an hour at a time eating whatever you want.

11

[quote]analog_kid wrote:
I don’t think he’s as bad as the “I got fucking hyoge on a Bowflex” infomercials. Have any of you seen the actual infomercial? I’ll break it down for you, if you don’t have a Bowlfex you:

Are fat.
Nobody likes you.
Have never had sex.
Never will have sex(unless you get a Bowflex).
Have a small penis.
Women laugh at you.
You should probably just kill yourself or get a Bowflex.

And if you get a Bowflex you will look like a amature bodybuilder by working out twice a week for half an hour at a time eating whatever you want.
[/quote]

This is about right, and totally substantiated.

12

[quote]analog_kid wrote:
I don’t think he’s as bad as the “I got fucking hyoge on a Bowflex” infomercials. Have any of you seen the actual infomercial? I’ll break it down for you, if you don’t have a Bowlfex you:

Are fat.
Nobody likes you.
Have never had sex.
Never will have sex(unless you get a Bowflex).
Have a small penis.
Women laugh at you.
You should probably just kill yourself or get a Bowflex.

And if you get a Bowflex you will look like a amature bodybuilder by working out twice a week for half an hour at a time eating whatever you want.
[/quote]

I’m getting a fucking Bowflex!

13

[quote]A-Dizz wrote:
He looks much much better than you do, and he’s in all likelihood a millionaire. That makes you a keyboard warrior and a hater.

Oh, and if you think that if someone overweight just needs to “Eat less calories than you are now, and just run around aimlessly for 2 hours a day,” to look like him, then you’re an idiot.

-dizzle[/quote]

Dizzle, I would almost be offended if you didn’t look like a unibomber/rapist/cereal killer. Luckily you do look like all three and I can feel just fine about everything I have said.

To say that I am an idiot is wonderful, because honestly your right, to get insanely skinny with a lack of muscle running long distances would be completely unproductive. I mean how many skinny marathon runners do you see in the world truthfully? Also, restricting calories and doing that same work would undoubtably lead to increased fat gain. Idiotic what was I thinking!?

I wish that I had forseen these fallacies in my argument, especially the hater-ade I must have been drinking. Or it could just be a disdane for the facts that I laid out before. He has marketed and cashed in on telling people information that they could recieve with greater results from this website, for FREE.

I also didn’t know that someone who was skinny and had muscle definition immediately became someone that we should hinge our health and exercise program on, I mean if they aren’t fat they must know worlds more than you or I right?

I am a keyboard warrior, because obviously I have never achieved anything in my life that is worth me being able to profess any type of opinion. Or the reality could be that I most likely have achieved more in my life than you. Though I haven’t achieved “ripped” level leaness, here are some things I have done in my life
365 LB Max Bench
515 LB squat for 6 reps, at contest level depth
315 LB power clean
Recruited to play football at the Division 1 level

Now as I said, just because I was able to achieve something doesn’t mean I am someone who should be listened to as a gospel on how things are done. Yet, before you are quick to pass judgement on me because I feel his whole program is a gross exploitation. Think beyond your regular scope of subjection and realize that maybe, just maybe, I have enough expieriance that Im allowed to express my displeasure with something overhyped.

Glad you never disliked something. AWESOME

14


These guys were naturally born this skinny, they eat 5,000 calories a day because their metabolism is that fast, not because they just run a lot.

15

[quote]woohitter wrote:

I am a keyboard warrior, because obviously I have never achieved anything in my life that is worth me being able to profess any type of opinion. Or the reality could be that I most likely have achieved more in my life than you. Though I haven’t achieved “ripped” level leaness, here are some things I have done in my life
365 LB Max Bench
515 LB squat for 6 reps, at contest level depth
315 LB power clean
Recruited to play football at the Division 1 level

[/quote]

If you’re gonna boast numbers such as these, then maybe you need to put some fake profile pictures up. You know, some pictures of some dude that actually looks like he lifts weights.

16

agreed. maybe even a video. u look horrible in your profile pictures.

17

[quote]woohitter wrote:

Dizzle, I would almost be offended if you didn’t look like a unibomber/rapist/cereal killer. Luckily you do look like all three and I can feel just fine about everything I have said.

[/quote]

Everyone hide your Wheaties while Dizz is around he is a CEREAL KILLER!!!

18

[quote]woohitter wrote:
These guys were naturally born this skinny, they eat 5,000 calories a day because their metabolism is that fast, not because they just run a lot.[/quote]

you’re kidding right? You’ve never trained for a marathon or trained soemone for it obviously.

19

I’m not sure how you can knock John Basedow when YOU look like shit.

20

It’s a mutli billion dollar business and he’s just getting his share. ANYONE can do the same if they are motivated and driven to do so. He’s probably working on his next product right now.

HAVING SAID THAT YOU’RE RIGHT - his program is more than likely crap. However, you can put out a better one. Nobody is stopping you.