Isreal-Palestine: An Analogy…
In this brief short story, the part of the Israelis will be played by the Native American Indians, and the Palestinian part will be played by the “East Enders” which are a ficticious people. For arguments sake, the East Enders share the same religion with most Canadians, British and Mexicans, as well as the Americans.
[u]Part IV: A New Hope[/u]
The Native Indians will become real powerful over the next decade what with all the casinos and cigarette sales! At first, they peacefully buy back their ancestral land from the ever-greedy American capitalist piggies, but eventually the UN gets wind of this diabolical plot to “take back” New York and violence ensues.
[u]Part V: The Empire Strikes Back[/u]
After some turbulent years of dramatic struggle, during which time millions of Native American Indians are massacred (aka: the Navaholocaust), the Indians win back all their land in say… Greater New York…then rebuild it while fighting off American suicide-bombers, as well as Canadian, Mexican and British Military attempts to destroy them.
The UN condemnations of the continuing Indian “aggression” comes rolling in (it turns out that the British and Mexicans have a lot of influence there due to their dominance in the “soccer ball commodity” that is so essential to 21st century life). Various trade embargos also threaten Indian independance, as do repeated Wars with the British, Canada and Mexico.
The Canadians, who by this point are all French speaking, start a war with the Indians and immediately capitulate without firing a shot, while the British and Mexicans (who came to the aid of Canada) fight and lose many, many times against the Indians. It turns out that China, a major superpower, supplies the Indian hordes with weapons, while the hapless British and Mexicans buy theirs from Iceland. It turns out that Iceland sucks at making weapons.
Also, the world learns that the Indians won the land back from the post-American rulers, who are the French-Canadians from Quebec! Most of the actual New Yorkers gave up all claim to the land and moved to Florida years before the conflict began, so they could retire in air-conditioned condos while watching Yankee games on cable! This fact is hushed away, as the world is now lining up the Indians for a final confrontation!
[u]Part VI: Return of the East Enders?[/u]
Fast forward about 100 years. Now, at the height of their newfound freedom, the “illegal” Indian occupiers are asked to “give the land back” to some new people called East Enders who swear that they are the true natives. These East Enders have become a major terorist threat, as they like to send small kids and rabbits into the Indian Tee-Pees with explosives strapped to their bodies. After all, they are small and weak, and those damn Indians are just so powerful. Can’t you understand, Obi-Wan: It’s there only hope…
Rumor has it that these Indian “Navahoists” control the media as well as the global economy…and that the “Navaholocaust” is all just a big hoax, meant to justify the suffering of the East End kids and their rabbits so that Indians can have nice swimming pools and Tee-Pees, while the East Enders know only misery in their swine-infested refugee camps (these refugee camps, interestingly enough, have been operated continuously for over 50 years by the UN, earning them a spot in the Guiness Book of World Records for being the most blatant failure to rehabilitate a people ever).
In exchange for promises of peace and an “internationally guaranteed” treaty recognizing the right of Native Americans to live in peace as a sovereign nation…and after they move “back” to the reservations and resign themselves to selling cheap cigarettes and managing Casinos…the Indians decide to begin negotiations for dividing the land of their ancestors in exchange for peace.
This process fails, and war ensues once again…
The international community decides that the Indians are the obstacle to peace, and eventually leads a war to “liberate” the East Enders, thus ending their suffering. The international community then watches on in horror as the East Enders, Mexican, British, Canadians and Americans slaughter the de-militarized Indians.
The UN’s reaction to this second “Navaholocaust” is to build a shiny new memorial in New York, and keep a sweet little candle lit for all eternity.
The East Enders celebrate by blowing up some ancient Tee-Pees and cooking a fine Rabbit stew, only to deny the whole episode, and swear that it was all lie meant to rob them of their national pride. Besides, they argued, whatever fate the so-called Indians suffered, it was probably brought on by their poor diet and training regimes!
The End.
Ain’t I annoying?
LJ