As my father told me ooooohhhhh so many years ago:
Stand up straight
Look person in the eye
Talk confidently and calmly.
All you ever need to know, about getting “respect” when you talk.
[quote]AshyLarry wrote:
Solid advice, thanks guys. I’ve always had trouble communicating in one way or another. I was extremely shy as a kid and only now am I slowly beginning to be more sociable. It’s like they say, to get people to believe in you, you first have to believe in yourself.
[/quote]
I’m pretty shy myself, but being shy doesn’t get you anywhere.
It’s a hard habit to break and I’m working on it too but having alot of self-confidence has helped me more then anything else. The sooner you stop worrying about what others think of you, the sooner you can build your self-confidence imo. I don’t mean to be inconsiderate. But shit like ‘will they think I’m stupid if I say that’ or something. Who cares man. If they are real friends then they won’t. And if they aren’t friends, who cares again. Don’t be hard on yourself either.
I dont know about yall, but I never gave a fuck what people thought.
Too many guys try to suck up to girls by being really nice to them. Girls say they want that but its a lie.
They want to treated well and respected, but not pampered and doted on, they want a guy with some self respect.
That way its all the more special when the guy does do something special for them.
Girls dont want to date a girl…well some do, and its awesome, but thats a different discussion.
I wouldn’t know. My friends and family hang on my every word.
Seriously.
[quote]Drizzt wrote:
Omca wrote:
I think you are confusing respect with intimidation
Oh no, I’m not confusing anything. I’m not over looked, I can’t be over looked when sitting next to average joe in one my classes, study groups, or when I’m with friends. People listen to me when I have something to say. I’m sometimes the center of attention really. They’ve given me respect. The friends I hang out with I’ve known for a better part of my life, I can’t intimidate them. I’ve been in the OP’s shoes before.[/quote]
I think the respect you get in communication might not be so much a direct effect from you getting bigger and stronger, but more likely enhanced communications due to a higher confidence level.
It’s not so much about the idea you’re selling, it’s all in the presentation. Look at all the people who think endless crunches will “tone” their midsection. That belief has nothing to do with the fact that it’s true, but rather because they’re bombarded with infomercials and such telling them authoritatively that this is how to get a six pack.
Say something, almost anything, loud enough and long enough, and people will start to believe you.
[quote]AshyLarry wrote:
Solid advice, thanks guys. I’ve always had trouble communicating in one way or another. I was extremely shy as a kid and only now am I slowly beginning to be more sociable. It’s like they say, to get people to believe in you, you first have to believe in yourself.
[/quote]
I’m kind of a quiet guy myself, although I would goof off and stuff in highschool. I think that probably worked against me in terms of getting respect. One thing that I would recommend is to make your own way in a lot of areas.
For example, I think I started to get more respect when I started going to the gym on my own regularly. I would go with my friends, but if they flaked, I would go anyway. I think that helped me establish myself as an independent person.
Also, you say that you’re a student. It helps to really apply yourself to your studies and prove that you can be serious in that context. Do well in your studies and strive for knowledge. It’s all about perception, and if people perceive you as someone who knows what he’s talking about they will listen to you more readily. I went from basically being a one-liner machine and a class-clown type guy to being someone who got a little more respect, and I think these two factors helped contribute to this.
[quote]300andabove wrote:
As my father told me ooooohhhhh so many years ago:
Stand up straight
Look person in the eye
Talk confidently and calmly.
All you ever need to know, about getting “respect” when you talk.[/quote]
Exactly. I would add:
Avoid defensiveness and petty bickering. Be confident enough to say “I don’t know” or “you’re right, I was mistaken” when appropriate.
Approach the world with an attitude of friendly curiosity. Over time you’ll learn enough that people will find you interesting.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
300andabove wrote:
As my father told me ooooohhhhh so many years ago:
Stand up straight
Look person in the eye
Talk confidently and calmly.
All you ever need to know, about getting “respect” when you talk.
Exactly. I would add:
Avoid defensiveness and petty bickering. Be confident enough to say “I don’t know” or “you’re right, I was mistaken” when appropriate.
Approach the world with an attitude of friendly curiosity. Over time you’ll learn enough that people will find you interesting.
[/quote]
true story.
I don’t try to act like I know something I don’t, it always makes things more difficult (immediately or later).
don’t preach. your opinion is an opinion respect the other person’s right to believe what they want, regardless of how wrong they are! 
instead of offering my opinion first, I generally will ask questions about how the other person reached their conclusion. maybe they have valid points, or studies that I was unaware of that influenced their thinking. I try to see it from their viewpoint, and if I still disagree with something then I explain my thought process and resulting conclusions.
personal experiences play a major role in all the decisions we make. sometimes the approach that someone else took to solve a problem wasn’t the best way to do it, but it accomplished the same goal and didn’t violate anyone’s moral code to get there.
[quote]AshyLarry wrote:
considering my self confidence is that of a 13 year old girl.
[/quote]
Would you listen to or take advice from someone who just said something like that?
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
AshyLarry wrote:
considering my self confidence is that of a 13 year old girl.
Would you listen to or take advice from someone who just said something like that?
[/quote]
…especially if they were trolling, like this obviously is.
Some of you folk are too easy. I mean, c’mon.
Suppose I said: “Irish respects my opinion and asks for my input on major life decisions.” I’d never say that because its such obvious trolling but I’d bet someone as dumb as you probably would fall for it.
;> Gotcha!!!