If I Was... I Would...

If I were a weary wolf, I would be a weary werewolf. A really hairy, somewhat scary, wary weary werewolf.

If I were my wife, I’d fuck the shit out of me tonight.

If I were Colonel Jessup, I would have said “nope, wusn’t me…”

If I was Uma Thurman in Kill bill I woulda sniped, bombed, or poisoned every one of my enemies, just like a real assasin.

If I knew where waldo was I wouldn’t tell you.

If I was The Incredible Hulk’s underpants, I would get ripped.

If i was wrong, I would still be right.

If I were Barack right now, I would leave the kids at home and bang my wife all through DC in my dope ass limo-tank

If I were a woman, I would exploit it (assuming I was Hot).

If I was Leo from The Titanic I woulda kicked Kate off the wood.

If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing.

[quote]elusive wrote:
If I was a teenager again I would have done lots of things differently.[/quote]

If I was a teenager, I wou-…

Oh wait. Damnit.

If I was never stumbling along google, and found T-Nation. I would have never improved the way I look and feel, and GET HYOOOOOGE.

Wow, that was a grammar fail.

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
If I were single, I’d fuck the hell out of you.

[/quote]

I just keep reading, and reading, and reading this one. Damn…Just Damn.

If I was 40 years old, I would struggle to be like pushharder.