As for my son… I mean come on, he’ll have my blood. Unless he ends up having a truly limiting disability, there’s no reason he won’t be able to win at life. Or maybe if he’s gay and has no interests in boyish pursuits, then yeah, he should find his own path and I should only be there to teach him basic things instead of telling him the meaning of manhood and stuff like that. And dude, he’s a kid. What would he know? Kids are in desperate need of guidance. That’s what good parenting and quality education is for. By the time he’s thirteen, he can rebel all he want. I wouldn’t stop him. But before he hits that teen age, you can’t expect me to not be a strict dictator in his development. And really, it’s not like I’ll give him Spartan conditions. But like, there’s gotta be some kind of punishment if he refuses to study his ABCs. Will I really let my kid, boy or girl, to hit first grade elementary without memorizing the alphabet? Come on man.
I don’t know what worldview you have, but I am of the belief that all humans are not the masters of their destinies. I’m a Christian, so I see things in a Christian lens. But even if you are an atheist materialist, you can’t deny the fact that you didn’t choose your genetic makeup.
Young people need a guiding hand. If so, would it be better to have the kid be guided by kids who are a year older than him? Or his very own dad who understands life far better than he ever will at his very young age?
The reason I am able to communicate to you right now, Aldebaran, is because my education drilled me proper grammar and spelling at a time when all I’ve ever wanted was to play Street Fighter. And as a sane man today, why would I not be grateful for that? And why would I delude myself by saying that I am the reason I am able to type these words? It wasn’t me. It was forced on me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
You gotta define what a “girlfriend” is though. I mean, back then, I would define anyone I had sex with as my “girlfriend”. And indeed I would be right to an extent. If the sex was good, it was official even if it only lasted an hour in the bed. But that’s no longer how I think.
I guess I would define a girlfriend as the kind of girl who seriously considers taking you to her critical dad, believing you would pass his stern gaze.
Really man, if sex was the deal-sealer on making things “official”, then I’ve had a lot of girlfriends.
I think you may need an attitude adjustment my man. No wonder people don’t stick around with you because
Mistype? They are way out of your league I think you meant?
Finding a life partner isn’t something that you can learn how to do on the internet. Meet people, stop thinking about it, and someone will come along that enjoys your company and you enjoy theirs.
Meanwhile, being nice is a decent quality to have as a human being. We’ve spent a couple of thousand years preferring people that are nice over people that are cut-throat. It’d appear as if enough people resented living in fear of being killed or suffer other bad fates at the end of people whose actions were guided by their intent to express dominance over other people. Or put in other words, the alpha isn’t as desirable as you make it out to be.
Sorry that you don’t want to be liked for who you are. To me, it sounds kind of relaxing. You could be you, just honest to how you are wired, and people would like you and be in a relationship with you? That’s pretty awesome.
Work ethic may fade in time,
Good looks aren’t eternal,
Intelligence can be eaten up by many a disease,
Wealth is lost in a heartbeat, and sometimes it’s not even in your control. It could be, bad decisions being what they are,
Muscles atrophy,
Sexual prowess declines with age.
Sounds like they got you a girlfriend when you were 18, and one with her heart in the right place. What have your Napoleon habits brought you, except “efficiency”?
Not as much as some would be parents it’d seem.
What does sexual orientation have anything to do with being an adult? I’m referring to the definition of manhood if that is not clear.
You seem to confuse guidance with something far more sinister
Yep, agreed. Your wife still needs to be a “yes”, but hopefully you’re still married when she is 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 years old when everyone (except J-Lo’s) looks have faded.
Also, you have to meet a lot of women to find the right ones. And you have to meet a lot of right ones to find The Right One. I knew it in my gut after the second date that my wife was the right one. But that was after meeting A LOT of women in the years prior.
This has always intrigued me. I either haven’t found the right one, or I don’t have a gut. Maybe it’s one of those things that you have to experience to understand.
Like a lot of things in life, its that moment when things click. That moment when you learn to ride a bike, carve a turn on skis, figure out how to hip hinge to deadlift etc. That moment where it suddenly all comes together, becomes easy and makes total sense.
In my opinion, regardless of the current norm of a so called enlightened society, the nuclear family unit is the core of society and to ask a woman to bear you a child outside of marriage is a flawed proposal to begin with.
I’m pretty sure this is the reason you don’t have any long term relationships. Looks are great but they FADE and if she’s a mean bitch, then you’re screwed. You need to rethink this.
Sorry brother, now that you’ve put that out, I’ve got to call you on it. NO WHERE is the situation you’re describing blessed by God. In fact, there are strict prohibitions on it.
Secondly, as a Christian man you should be seeking a Christian woman. Best place for that is a the church. Most good Bible based churches have a singles Bible study or other ways to meet other singles.
I’ve never had anything like what you mentioned in my life lol I hate my brain. I’ve tried to tell my therapist before that I really do thing I have some kind of issues, but she disagrees. It’s very frustrating though. My current gf loves the fuck out of me, and has the clarity I lack.
I’m very similar to you. For me, it was a “slow burn” over time and now I can’t imagine my.life without my fiancee. No epiphany or anything like that. I dont think there is anything wrong with that, but they’re not going to write movies about guys like you and I.
Due to a lot of insecurities and other shit that’s happened in the past like mental illness and low self worth, I’ve defaulted to what I like to call “coasting”. Choose what you want to do, and own it.
Try to take the emotion out of what you’re thinking about. Do you like this girl? Cool, be with her. Do you not? Ok, then it’s not worth it for you OR her for you to waste anyone’s time. It’s that simple.
Thinking this way made my life way more simple and enjoyable. It can be used in every aspect of life.
