My retired therapist once said, “most people don’t marry their sexiest sex partner.” I agree with this. I’m not saying some guy should go with a woman where there’s no attractive but waiting to meet some woman who knocks ones socks off has kept some men alone for a long time.
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I don’t mind if the girl I marry isn’t the sexiest I’ve been with, provided her personality is great! But this experience has set the bar higher for my lowest physical “requirements” than before her lol
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Considering the entire conversation is about how great it is to have women and how to attract them, I haven’t seen any posts showing dislike for them.
I have a friend who used to get picked up on all the time when we were in HS and in our twenties. He went through GF’s one after another through his twenties and early thirties.
he took that for granted that he could have any woman he wanted, when the relationship turned tough, he moved on.
now he has no luck with women - He’s older, skinny and has health problems, and a bad attitude. I think it was because it was so easy for him before, that he never appreciated women, and never learned to play the game, and never had to commit to putting up with the issues that relationships eventually bring.
He’s 60, never been married, and bitter with what the world has done to him.
it’s sad really.
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Cases like that are not surprising. The great therapist that I had for previous depression on and off for 20 years and sometimes refer to here told me he had several middle-aged men crying in his office because they never proposed to women who wanted to marry them. They kept dragging things on, the women left them, only for them never to find suitable women again!
Also, I think some men are delusional. They think that they will win in the end as a silver fox with various toys, assets, and dough they stockpiled and Maybe even some muscle, and they’ll have to fight women off. You know “men age like fine wine.” Like a gorgeous 20-year old women are gonna run off to a balding, grey haired 50 year old over a 20-something Chad. That happens here and there but it isn’t likely.
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You guys talk about women as if they are something to be acquired or worse, baited.
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You can count me out of that. I’m good. Baited a wife? Nope. Acquired one? Yes, like all the other taken men in here.
I think @zecarlo is suggesting that “acquired” a wife suggests a degree of ownership.
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I understand then. However I do think what happens in these sorts of threads is “punching down”. There are some men, from the way they speak, had parts of or all of their lives go smoothly, including find a woman, finding employment, friends, etc. That’s good for them; I wouldn’t wish another way for them considering I take no pleasure in seeing other men suffer.
I don’t think it’s surprising at all to see womanless, friendless, or jobless men venting in the internet or even seeming resentful. It’s a natural reaction. But it gives others an opportunity to come down on them, a signaling of sorts. Now, some of these resentful men become insufferable because of their negativity, nihilism, and stubbornness, but I’ll never underestimate what bothers them. I cannot think of much else to damage a man’s self image or sense of worth than joblessness and having no woman. I suppose a select few men can live a satisfying life with no woman, and in turn, no children. And those who say a womanless life can be just fine without one usually have a woman and are well aware of what they did to get one; in fact they made it a priority.
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That’s fair - I used to think that - now I know better haha
Again, your phrasing makes it sound very much like you view women as a possession. I’m pretty sure this isn’t your intent from previous interactions, just making an observation.
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I think it’s just a way of speaking more convenient than “what they did to have a woman decide she would engage in a long-term relationship with them”
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Maybe I’m being pedantic here.
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It is when you’re young. It really is.
But of course you become mature and your priorities change.
Dude that’s very common. I always used to think that men who’ve had a wife have good self-confidence because they’ve been married. I learned it doesn’t work like that.
I will speak though, that for a man to take the initiative, it does work. It’s basically you “putting yourself out there”, and there’s nothing wrong with that. What really truly gets creepy is when you refuse to accept that no means no.
I get that. But now I’ve put myself into a predicament where I have to figure out if the current gf is “it” and I can live with never having that desire filled or not.
Kinda sucks 
. I feel like I should “know”. And maybe I do, who knows. I’m HORRIBLE when it comes to making decisions based on my wants and desires. I’ve been a people pleaser at the expense of myself for 28 years, idk how to even please myself or know if I am pleased. Deep shit mane.
This is still missing the element of understanding that this is simply a relationship between two humans. In both cases, it’s suggesting an imbalance in power, where one is the chooser/decider and the other is the chosen/obtained.
And attempting to view and understand relationships from such a lens is going to result in having difficulty actually building said relationships.
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Life isnt fair.
IMO it really comes down to people not understanding what their “league” actually is and getting mad/frustrated when they have poor success with women/men out of their league.
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I hope every sane male person knows that women are not objects that are acquired, and can leave whenever they want in our time.
Being a people pleaser works but it’s not sustainable. There comes a point when the people you please look at you and wonder “Is this guy serious??” Human relationships are pretty complicated. The path to becoming good at human relationships is pretty straightforward and it’s simply about socializing and learning about people and being friends with them. But navigating through it and figuring things out… It’s tough.