if u have to drink to have fun, then u should look into that. if u must drink when u go out with ur friends have a few drinks, a few. i know its hard cuz when ur friends are gettin hammered and ur sober, i know. but trust me its worth it especially if u plan on working out/bodybuilding, u will c results
[quote]conorh wrote:
I have had some bad experiences with alcohol and feel like it has cost me a lot in my life. I got drunk on January 10 and had something of a cathartic moment the next day and I have only had alcohol on three non-consecutive occasions since, and never to excess, only one or two drinks.
I have mixed feelings about this. I now associate so much pain with drunkenness that the idea of getting drunk repulses me. Subsequently my social life has taken a real hit. I don’t even like being around booze anymore and it seems like all my friends like to drink all the time. Even if they’re not getting sloppy or out of control, it’s just a drag to sit around bars or parties and not drink.
I wind up spending a lot of nights watching cartoons and hitting the hay early or reading. Not that I don’t enjoy those things or feel better the next day than I would drinking, but I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of camaraderie. Even my academic peers like to go drink and carry on. Unfortunately, most of the friends I had as an undergrad have moved away leaving me in a social vacuum.
I’m to the point where I just don’t know how to get a social life again without hanging around alcohol.
Anyway, I don’t know if I made this post to brag or ask for help or what. I just feel like I want to get it off my chest.[/quote]
Good that you’ve decided to it get it under control. Often the reason why people make excuses to drink is because of their social life. So at least you’ve got that goin for you, you actually are prepared to give that up. But you don’t have to because you either give up your friends or you learn to not associate booze with your friends, that’s the real trick. Just do your own thing and your real friends will support you. I hope can learn to enjoy a fine beer without the excess because it would suck to think one could never have it ever again.
At least you haven’t joined AA. They’re a bunch of cultists. No, it is better to just learn to be disciplined around booze.
it can be tough starting out man.
your true friends will be able to respect your choice, and you will find things that are fun to do, drunk or sober, that are enjoyable for everyone.
I still go to the occasional poker game, where my friends all drink and smoke cigars, and they have the ability to do so in moderation.
I happen to like a bit of manual labor, since it is not my occupation, nor is it required as I live in an apartment.
clearing land, building a deck or a dock, gardening, splitting firewood, mowing a lawn, pruning trees and bushes, building shelves, etc. are all things that can bring friends together, and drinking is not compulsory to the experience.
volunteer work for charitable organizations,
(or non-affiliated) provides an atmosphere for camaraderie.
I know from trying the moderation route, that for me “just one drink” reduces my willpower and leads to “just two” or “just eight” so I avoid it completely.
ultimately, you are the only one that has to live with you all the time, make decisions that you feel are right.
Social lives are over rated… Ive gotten alot more friends this year especially and half the time… i think why the fuck am I here…
but thats just me i guess or maybe i need better friends I genuinely enjoy being with for the most part.
I think the best thing for you is to focus on who you want to be and dont make excuses for yourself or 5 years down the road you will punch yourself in the face and wonder what the fuck happened and want so much of your life back.
[quote]yusef wrote:
Well done man. I don’t drink for religious reasons, but never have, so I feel it would be more difficult to have been drinking and then stop, over never having drunk in the first place.
If you think your self control is strong enough, hang out in bars. But I wouldn’t reccomend it, particularly if you’re finding it hard. I go to bars and clubs sometimes but only if good friends are going, or if something good is on. You have to be the judge of the purity of your intention.
Ideally if you remove yourself from that environment, then the possibility for drinking won’t exist will it? No need to become a monk or anything, but at least apply some of the discipline you have acquired from training into this.
You may also find your lifts going up and your composition changing. Best of luck.[/quote]
I used to be a bouncer at a bar owned by two Egyptian gents.
both Muslim, they never drank a drop of alcohol, smoked non-stop though.
/hijack
I don’t like booze. 95% of the stupid shit I’ve done has happened while drunk. I might have 2 or 3 pints of Guiness, but I haven’t been drunk in years. Beyond that, I worked in bars for years and I don’t like being around drunk people…even good looking women at closing time don’t have much appeal to me…I don’t believe in the old saying “with wine comes truth”…I think it’s more like all the arrogance and insecurities come out at the same time.
It’s tough. If you don’t drink or like being around drunk people, aren’t in AA, not a religious person, there isn’t a whole lot of options. I’m a transplant, sometimes I go to the bars despite knowing better, but I just play it as it comes…if I’m bored I check out about anything, I’m just real glad I’m not as restless as I was when I was younger.
[quote]conorh wrote:
Ummm, no, you’re thinking of a thread in which I parodied someone else’s thread about marijuana by simply replacing the instances of the word “marijuana” with “cocaine”.
I definitely agree with you though. After I fucked up one of my friends’ apartment being drunk I realized what I was doing was unacceptable and I’ve been keeping it under control. I know some people can do the bar scene, drink some cheap beers on the weekends and not ruin the other 5/7 of their days. I’m not one of them, so I stick to a single Grey Goose Martini on special occasions.
Do you have any suggestions on how to change up my social environment? I mean, I don’t really want to join a book club. [/quote]
My first suggestion would be to dedicate more time to training so you’re not saddled with a ton of down time that might create the temptation to drink.
My social life isn’t what it used to be becasue I’ve chosen to be a homebody… I got into too much mischief when I was bar hopping.
Now, I spend time in the gym, at the gun range, and fishing when the weather permits.
Enjoy the sinmple things bud. I wish you the best of luck.
[quote]conorh wrote:
I have had some bad experiences with alcohol and feel like it has cost me a lot in my life. I got drunk on January 10 and had something of a cathartic moment the next day and I have only had alcohol on three non-consecutive occasions since, and never to excess, only one or two drinks.
I have mixed feelings about this. I now associate so much pain with drunkenness that the idea of getting drunk repulses me. Subsequently my social life has taken a real hit. I don’t even like being around booze anymore and it seems like all my friends like to drink all the time. Even if they’re not getting sloppy or out of control, it’s just a drag to sit around bars or parties and not drink.
I wind up spending a lot of nights watching cartoons and hitting the hay early or reading. Not that I don’t enjoy those things or feel better the next day than I would drinking, but I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of camaraderie. Even my academic peers like to go drink and carry on. Unfortunately, most of the friends I had as an undergrad have moved away leaving me in a social vacuum.
I’m to the point where I just don’t know how to get a social life again without hanging around alcohol.
Anyway, I don’t know if I made this post to brag or ask for help or what. I just feel like I want to get it off my chest.[/quote]
I did the same thing, and I too lost alot of friends. I was in the fraternity scene, but to my better judgeement, I stopped drinking, and it took me out of the social life. I still had friends that didn’t drink, but vary rarely did I do something socially.
I guess its about finding a new group of friends, and spending time doing something that you guys can enjoy without drinking. I’ve now gone back to drinking, but only socially, which is like 2-3 times a month. I stop as soon as I feel like I’m buzzed, which is good for me. Like your experiences, being drunk just messes you up, and I realized that if I stop a little short, then its hell of alot more fun than getting drunk.
Another think you could do is go on dates, spend time with some women (if your single). Most of the time, you just drink for the sake of drinking, and you automatically watch how much you drink, because the purpose of a date is to have a great time with the person (and possibly to get laid at the end of the night). If your drunk, then its hard to get hard...if you know what I mean...lol. So there's the incentive to not drink too much right there.
Also, a great place to spend time is takeing some salsa lessons (or any other kind of dance classes). Great place to just be yourself and fun with people without the need for alcohol.
Got a DUI last June and haven’t had a drink since. Good riddance.