[quote]Fletch1986 wrote:
Well… now I know where to go if I get food cravings during a cut… ummmm… thx… I think…[/quote]
Where? To dereks house to get some cottage cheese? Or to the woman from the OP to get some predigested protein?
you know, people dont realize that doctors, law enforcement, ect… see things that should be
never be seen, and godforbid if not to have the ability to to forget certainly helps, espcially
with drugs and alcohol can further that forgetting… while others relish telling things
that can be heard and left to the imagination can do enough damage where as a bullet to the
brain will do the trick quite nicely…
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]polo77j wrote:
Thanks Derek for sharing those stories … now I have something to talk about with my father in law over dinner tonight! I have a feeling it’ll be the last time he ever wants me over for dinner.
I owe ya one buddy[/quote]
Give your wife a few more years Polo and she will have some of her own.
But enjoy. [/quote]
She’s shared some … unforgetable … stories thus far
Derek
Moar stories plz
MOR
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Normal sized female complaining of vaginal odor and discharge, set her up for exam. She puts feet in stirrups and it is literally like she had stuck 20 oz of cottage cheese up her vagina. I had to put a bucket under her and scope out the discharge so I could get the speculum in.
While I cannot smell much this was one of the most foulest odors that God had put on the face of the earth. (Once while on Vacation a opossum had been killed by my dog and had sat out in the South Texas summer heat for a week till I found it this was about half as bad as this woman). I have no idea how this woman had even functioned or walked around, without this falling out of her panties and down her pants legs. [/quote]
On a scale that ranges from wet slushiness to a granular mashed potato like chunkiness, which would you say is best for tortilla chips? Maybe semi gelatinous with a thin ooze?
[quote]harrypotter wrote:
MOAR DEREK!
I love Documenting Reality so shit like this makes me laugh, at your expense obviously.[/quote]
Hear, hear! Derek is a good man who has taken one for the team.
Remember there is no ‘I’ in team…but there are two in infection.
[quote]Dr J wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Somebody needs to end this madness:
[/quote]
Thank you Orion! Watching that video was like breaking the surface of the water from underneath and FINALLY being able to fill my lungs with sweet, life-giving oxygen.[/quote]
Eagles suck…
She probably has HPV like a french tickler.
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Normal sized female complaining of vaginal odor and discharge, set her up for exam. She puts feet in stirrups and it is literally like she had stuck 20 oz of cottage cheese up her vagina. I had to put a bucket under her and scope out the discharge so I could get the speculum in.
While I cannot smell much this was one of the most foulest odors that God had put on the face of the earth. (Once while on Vacation a opossum had been killed by my dog and had sat out in the South Texas summer heat for a week till I found it this was about half as bad as this woman). I have no idea how this woman had even functioned or walked around, without this falling out of her panties and down her pants legs. [/quote]
Yum yum…
Please tell me more…
[quote]therajraj wrote:
I simply do without fore wipes. I don’t want to use the sponge that wipes my aft to wipe my fore. So, I wear absorbent cotton underwear when I’m out and sit on a sheet on the couch at home.
[/quote]
[quote]therajraj wrote:
I don’t want to use the sponge that wipes my aft to wipe my fore. So, I wear absorbent cotton underwear when I’m out and sit on a sheet on the couch at home.
[/quote]
[quote]therajraj wrote:
So, I wear absorbent cotton underwear when I’m out and sit on a sheet on the couch at home.
[/quote]
[quote]therajraj wrote:
sit on a sheet on the couch at home.
[/quote]
Man…I will NEVER look at couch covers the same again. =(
on the bright side - it’s not every body you can tilt anticlockwise and turn into a sad doggy face…
Work related story concerning the morbidly obese:
We got called to a subject who had fallen off of his Rascal Scooter inside of a small commuter bus. When we arrived we found that the subject had not secured his scooter properly to the bus and when the bus made a turn the momentum of the turn caused the scooter to tip over.
Even though this bus had an extra wide isle to accommodate wheelchairs and scooters, This guy was so big that there was hardly any room for a single person to wedge themselves into the bus isle with him in order to help him up. Furthermore it was obvious that there was no way in hell that a single person was going to lift this person to his feet. It was even more obvious that the dude was not going to be able to help himself based on his size.
I asked the subject what he estimated his weight was at he told me he was over 600 lbs the last he knew. He was complaining of hip and neck and back pain and he was also having difficulty breathing just from the his own body weight crushing his lungs from being in the position that he was in.
The other issue we found was that he was still attached to the scooter by a wide strap, or seat belt, which he used to literally keep his fat from falling off of the edge of the scooter. We had to have someone hold up slabs of fat just to expose the seat belt enough so we could cut it in order to separate him from the scooter before we even attempted to extricate him from the bus.
The stench that rolled off of him was strong enough to gag a maggot. It was obvious that he had not bathed in months. The combinations of shit, body odor, and decaying flesh from the sores he had in between his skin and fat folds was god awful. To top it off there was a yellowish cheesy substance in between some of the fat rolls. Several of us were dry heaving from the stench. I have smelled dead bodies that have been down for a while that smelled better than this guy.
We ended up getting him off the bus by using what we call a “mass mover”, which is basically a reinforced blanket that we wedged under the subject. The process of getting this blanket under the subject was a war in and of itself. Once we had it under him we then dragged him to the back of the bus and took him out through the emergency exit. We used backboards as a bridge to the gurney which we had placed outside the emergency exit.
Once we had the subject on the gurney we had no way of securing him to it due to the fact that the straps were too short. His slabs of fat were overhanging the gurney requiring that we had multiple people on each side in order to manually push the fat back up onto the gurney. If this was not done the subject’s weight would become off centered and the gurney was in risk of tipping over.
Luckily for us the hospital was only a couple blocks away so we ended up pushing the gurney down the sidewalk and straight into ER instead of trying to wedge the guy into the back of an ambulance.
To top it off, as we were pushing him down the sidewalk,the guy next to me partially vomits from the stench and pukes up what looked like chewed baloney onto the subject. When he turns his head he partially pukes on my pant leg as well. This causes me to dry heave and laugh at the same time, which I might add is hard to do.
[quote]Stern wrote:
on the bright side - it’s not every body you can tilt anticlockwise and turn into a sad doggy face…[/quote]
You are a mad genious, Stern.
[quote]clinton131 wrote:
Work related story concerning the morbidly obese:
We got called to a subject who had fallen off of his Rascal Scooter inside of a small commuter bus. When we arrived we found that the subject had not secured his scooter properly to the bus and when the bus made a turn the momentum of the turn caused the scooter to tip over.
Even though this bus had an extra wide isle to accommodate wheelchairs and scooters, This guy was so big that there was hardly any room for a single person to wedge themselves into the bus isle with him in order to help him up. Furthermore it was obvious that there was no way in hell that a single person was going to lift this person to his feet. It was even more obvious that the dude was not going to be able to help himself based on his size.
I asked the subject what he estimated his weight was at he told me he was over 600 lbs the last he knew. He was complaining of hip and neck and back pain and he was also having difficulty breathing just from the his own body weight crushing his lungs from being in the position that he was in.
The other issue we found was that he was still attached to the scooter by a wide strap, or seat belt, which he used to literally keep his fat from falling off of the edge of the scooter. We had to have someone hold up slabs of fat just to expose the seat belt enough so we could cut it in order to separate him from the scooter before we even attempted to extricate him from the bus.
The stench that rolled off of him was strong enough to gag a maggot. It was obvious that he had not bathed in months. The combinations of shit, body odor, and decaying flesh from the sores he had in between his skin and fat folds was god awful. To top it off there was a yellowish cheesy substance in between some of the fat rolls. Several of us were dry heaving from the stench. I have smelled dead bodies that have been down for a while that smelled better than this guy.
We ended up getting him off the bus by using what we call a “mass mover”, which is basically a reinforced blanket that we wedged under the subject. The process of getting this blanket under the subject was a war in and of itself. Once we had it under him we then dragged him to the back of the bus and took him out through the emergency exit. We used backboards as a bridge to the gurney which we had placed outside the emergency exit.
Once we had the subject on the gurney we had no way of securing him to it due to the fact that the straps were too short. His slabs of fat were overhanging the gurney requiring that we had multiple people on each side in order to manually push the fat back up onto the gurney. If this was not done the subject’s weight would become off centered and the gurney was in risk of tipping over.
Luckily for us the hospital was only a couple blocks away so we ended up pushing the gurney down the sidewalk and straight into ER instead of trying to wedge the guy into the back of an ambulance.
To top it off, as we were pushing him down the sidewalk,the guy next to me partially vomits from the stench and pukes up what looked like chewed baloney onto the subject. When he turns his head he partially pukes on my pant leg as well. This causes me to dry heave and laugh at the same time, which I might add is hard to do. [/quote]
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
A guy I know works as a GP doctor and related me this one. He had this very large female patient around 40. She comes in with a sore between her thigh and crotch. Of course she has to disrobe below the waist and has her assume the position.
So he’s doing this exam of what is a very large mass between her vagina and thigh… gives it a touch and it erupts! Nothing but yellow-green pus that had to be about a cup in volume. It was a boil that had gone ballistic. He had a lady assistant in the exam room who promptly vomited in the sink.
After the initial site clean up, he washes it out with a saline solution, puts a drain in the opening, packs it in huge gauze pads and sends her home with a prescription for antibiotics. She was to come back the next week for a follow up, fortunately for him, someone else got to deal with her.
Rob