How Young is too Young to Date?

Off Topic
101

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I think for me one of the issues with the dive bar is that it would potentially have put me in a weird social context with the parents of my clients.
[/quote]

This got me thinking this morning about the teachers I know, (which is quite a few) and they pretty much all like to party.

I live in a close knit lake community where everybody knows everybody. It is not unusual at all to be out on one of the party sandbars and to see teachers there drinking, often times surrounded by students, former students and their own families.

I am not saying they are getting crazy, just that this seems at odds with what they are supposed to project. Then again, I have never really given it much thought until this thread.

102

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m going to a school meeting tomorrow morning to push back at school administrators who are isolating a young client of mine who is exhibiting psychotic symptoms. She has been put in a room alone and is being educated via Skype. She apparently got in trouble for waving to classmates via video. I am not supposed to attend these meetings because I can’t bill for them through my current employer, but I will fight over the issue if anyone realizes I’ve gone. I will fight with the school until they show some compassion and then I will undoubtedly have to defend myself when the school calls my employer with ruffled feathers. That, to me, is a fight worth fighting. There is only so much time in a day. Defending my God-given right to get drunk at a hole in the wall just doesn’t make the grade.
[/quote]

You really are a good person EmilyQ. Might I make an observation about schools (taught at University for 11 years and now work at one, had my kids go through public schools): The climate of litigation interacting with bureaucracies is your nemesis. The sad part of this is that because nobody wants to risk losing a job if an edge case happens (what if she turns into a school shooter? Not remotely probable, but merely possible) the only viable option is to throw every kid under the bus. Nobody (except you) will probably help this kid and all of their careers will be safe if she goes away, whatever that means. So bluntly this is what you are fighting, the careers of those employed and their fear of legal/administrative repercussion, not what their job description says. I suspect you would be most effective strategizing along these lines.

Good Luck…

– jj

103

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

I live in a close knit lake community where everybody knows everybody. It is not unusual at all to be out on one of the party sandbars and to see teachers there drinking, often times surrounded by students, former students and their own families.

I am not saying they are getting crazy, just that this seems at odds with what they are supposed to project. Then again, I have never really given it much thought until this thread.

[/quote]

I think there is room for debate about how far a community should go before it holds teachers to an unreasonably high moral standard.

That having been said, around this area, while no one has ever been told they cannot consumer alcohol in a legal public establishment where students and their families might be present, e.g., a bar and grill, “partying” (depending on the context used here) with or in front of students could pose employment issues. You cannot be out “partying” with minors. There is an expectation that teachers are not supposed to fraternize with their students.

Also, there’s a difference between responsible consumption of alcohol in a public setting where students might see, such as a private house party or a restaurant, versus being intoxicated and displaying questionably appropriate behavior (e.g., fall down, almost blacked out drunk). I have heard of cases where someone was extremely drunk in a public setting, to the point of doing something socially egregious, and not being rehired by a school district when the incident became public knowledge and posed a critical blow to the person’s reputation.

104

[quote]JR249 wrote:

[quote]Testy1 wrote:

I live in a close knit lake community where everybody knows everybody. It is not unusual at all to be out on one of the party sandbars and to see teachers there drinking, often times surrounded by students, former students and their own families.

I am not saying they are getting crazy, just that this seems at odds with what they are supposed to project. Then again, I have never really given it much thought until this thread.

[/quote]

I think there is room for debate about how far a community should go before it holds teachers to an unreasonably high moral standard.

That having been said, around this area, while no one has ever been told they cannot consumer alcohol in a legal public establishment where students and their families might be present, e.g., a bar and grill, “partying” (depending on the context used here) with or in front of students could pose employment issues. You cannot be out “partying” with minors. There is an expectation that teachers are not supposed to fraternize with their students.

Also, there’s a difference between responsible consumption of alcohol in a public setting where students might see, such as a private house party or a restaurant, versus being intoxicated and displaying questionably appropriate behavior (e.g., fall down, almost blacked out drunk). I have heard of cases where someone was extremely drunk in a public setting, to the point of doing something socially egregious, and not being rehired by a school district when the incident became public knowledge and posed a critical blow to the person’s reputation.
[/quote]

They are not so much partying with them as being in the same vicinity of them. Also, I have never really seen questionable behavior from them but there is definitely alcohol in abundance.

It really is a conundrum living around water, as boating and alcohol seem to go hand and hand. My wife and I have spoken a lot about the messages we send to our kids and consequently don’t spend much time at the sandbars.

105

angrychix, that’s just wrong dude.

I find a lot of men(26+) really look to find attention from young girls. I wonder why.

My best guess is that a person who considers it ‘winning’ to bang a brain-dead child, is the same person who never got the attention from said females in their own child years. So now, it feels good for you to have a hot chick crave you? Well, that’s even more sad b/c you said it yourself, they aren’t actually craving you, they are craving your things.

How the fuck is that winning?

You need a soul

106

[quote]Claudan wrote:
angrychix, that’s just wrong dude.

I find a lot of men(26+) really look to find attention from young girls. I wonder why.

My best guess is that a person who considers it ‘winning’ to bang a brain-dead child, is the same person who never got the attention from said females in their own child years. So now, it feels good for you to have a hot chick crave you? Well, that’s even more sad b/c you said it yourself, they aren’t actually craving you, they are craving your things.

How the fuck is that winning?

You need a soul [/quote]

Clearly you are a prodigy able to psychoanalyze people over the internet. And moreover don’t understand the sexual market very well.

107

I wonder if all the 32-45 year old men in this thread would be OK with their 18-25 year old daughter getting banged by a grown man many years her senior. I have two sons, so I can’t really put myself in the shoes of a father of a 20 year old daughter who’s being taken to jazz clubs, bed and breakfasts and wine tasting by a guy more than twice her age. My age. That’s not an attack on AC or any of the guys who have no issue with it.

My oldest son is 20 and if a sophisticated, well educated, well off 45 year old woman tried to get to him, I’d warn him too. I personally do not think it right to have sex with a person your parents age, or conversely, your own children’s age. I can’t put my finger on it but it just feels ‘off’ to me. It feels like it would ‘damage’ the younger person a bit.

You’re manipulating them for sex you’re not really interested in them as a person. Fuck, you were 25 years old the day she came into the world, that doesn’t bother anyone even just a little? And if not, I’m curious as to why not?

108

[quote]Silyak wrote:

[quote]Claudan wrote:
angrychix, that’s just wrong dude.

I find a lot of men(26+) really look to find attention from young girls. I wonder why.

My best guess is that a person who considers it ‘winning’ to bang a brain-dead child, is the same person who never got the attention from said females in their own child years. So now, it feels good for you to have a hot chick crave you? Well, that’s even more sad b/c you said it yourself, they aren’t actually craving you, they are craving your things.

How the fuck is that winning?

You need a soul [/quote]

Clearly you are a prodigy able to psychoanalyze people over the internet. And moreover don’t understand the sexual market very well. [/quote]

I’m sorry if an objective view on the matter is hard to face especially when it ‘hits home’ but I am glad that the pedophiles on here are making themselves visible.

109

[quote]Claudan wrote:
angrychix, that’s just wrong dude. [/quote]Why? Because YOU said so? Who the fuck are you?[quote]

I find a lot of men(26+) really look to find attention from young girls. I wonder why. [/quote]Maybe it’s because younger chicks have firmer tits and less baggage… Perish the thought of any man wanting THAT… I mean such thoughts are just pure evil, aren’t they? [quote]

My best guess is that a person who considers it ‘winning’ to bang a brain-dead child [/quote]STOP RIGHT THERE. No one is banging children, and I, for one, can’t stand the brain dead. I bang chicks in their 20’s, 30’s AND 40’s… Because I can. [quote], is the same person who never got the attention from said females in their own child years[/quote]LMAO so off the mark it isn’t even funny. To put that in perspective, I pulled my first threesome when I was 16. My number was over 50 before I was 18[quote]. So now, it feels good for you to have a hot chick crave you? [/quote]Call me wrong for being a red blooded man, but when is it a sin to feel good to have a hot chick crave you? Who DOESN’T want that? [quote] Well, that’s even more sad b/c you said it yourself, they aren’t actually craving you, they are craving your things.[/quote]When did I say that? I don’t give the women I date “things”… I’m successful, but I’m no one’s sugar daddy. Do I enjoy going to the occasional nice event? Sure. Do I enjoy the company of an attractive, intelligent women? You bet! Is that the same as fucking a brain dead child? Not by a long shot…[quote]

How the fuck is that winning? [/quote]If you have to ask, then you wouldn’t understand…[quote]

You need a soul [/quote]

You need to get your panties out of your ass and grow a set of balls.

Uhhh, what? I went through two cheeleading squads at different schools before I graduated HS, bro. Had my first 3-some at age 16, so your diagnosis missed it’s mark by JUUUUUST a little bit.

And who said anything about banging a brain dead child? I think I am well within my rights to bang any ADULT I want to.

110

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
I wonder if all the 32-45 year old men in this thread would be OK with their 18-25 year old daughter getting banged by a grown man many years her senior. I have two sons, so I can’t really put myself in the shoes of a father of a 20 year old daughter who’s being taken to jazz clubs, bed and breakfasts and wine tasting by a guy more than twice her age. My age. That’s not an attack on AC or any of the guys who have no issue with it.

My oldest son is 20 and if a sophisticated, well educated, well off 45 year old woman tried to get to him, I’d warn him too. I personally do not think it right to have sex with a person your parents age, or conversely, your own children’s age. I can’t put my finger on it but it just feels ‘off’ to me. It feels like it would ‘damage’ the younger person a bit.

You’re manipulating them for sex you’re not really interested in them as a person. Fuck, you were 25 years old the day she came into the world, that doesn’t bother anyone even just a little? And if not, I’m curious as to why not? [/quote]
When I was 32 I was dating/having sex with a 20 year old. Not quite as drastic as you mentioned, but I don’t see the big deal. The girl I dated right before that was 39. Those just happened to be the girls I met at the time. Then again, one of my best friends right now is 9 years younger than me so I tend to meet younger girls. Everybody think I look like i’m in my 20’s anyways so nobody tends to care.

I wouldn’t know about how a dad with a daughter would react if an older man was wooing her. Honestly I’ll probably never know because I don’t plan on having kids. If I was in the situation, I guess I really wouldn’t care what the dad thinks. Not sure why I would be meeting him anyways.

111

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]Claudan wrote:
angrychix, that’s just wrong dude. [/quote]Why? Because YOU said so? Who the fuck are you?[quote]

I find a lot of men(26+) really look to find attention from young girls. I wonder why. [/quote]Maybe it’s because younger chicks have firmer tits and less baggage… Perish the thought of any man wanting THAT… I mean such thoughts are just pure evil, aren’t they? [quote]

My best guess is that a person who considers it ‘winning’ to bang a brain-dead child [/quote]STOP RIGHT THERE. No one is banging children, and I, for one, can’t stand the brain dead. I bang chicks in their 20’s, 30’s AND 40’s… Because I can. [quote], is the same person who never got the attention from said females in their own child years[/quote]LMAO so off the mark it isn’t even funny. To put that in perspective, I pulled my first threesome when I was 16. My number was over 50 before I was 18[quote]. So now, it feels good for you to have a hot chick crave you? [/quote]Call me wrong for being a red blooded man, but when is it a sin to feel good to have a hot chick crave you? Who DOESN’T want that? [quote] Well, that’s even more sad b/c you said it yourself, they aren’t actually craving you, they are craving your things.[/quote]When did I say that? I don’t give the women I date “things”… I’m successful, but I’m no one’s sugar daddy. Do I enjoy going to the occasional nice event? Sure. Do I enjoy the company of an attractive, intelligent women? You bet! Is that the same as fucking a brain dead child? Not by a long shot…[quote]

How the fuck is that winning? [/quote]If you have to ask, then you wouldn’t understand…[quote]

You need a soul [/quote]

You need to get your panties out of your ass and grow a set of balls.

Uhhh, what? I went through two cheeleading squads at different schools before I graduated HS, bro. Had my first 3-some at age 16, so your diagnosis missed it’s mark by JUUUUUST a little bit.

And who said anything about banging a brain dead child? I think I am well within my rights to bang any ADULT I want to.[/quote]
Haha, nice response dude. Some of these guys are nothing but haters. No need to explain your actions to them. There is nothing wrong with it.

112

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
I wonder if all the 32-45 year old men in this thread would be OK with their 18-25 year old daughter getting banged by a grown man many years her senior. I have two sons, so I can’t really put myself in the shoes of a father of a 20 year old daughter who’s being taken to jazz clubs, bed and breakfasts and wine tasting by a guy more than twice her age. My age. That’s not an attack on AC or any of the guys who have no issue with it.
[/quote]So you’d rather her driving around with a broke loser getting high in his car and getting fucked in the back seat cuz he can’t afford a hotel? If she’s over 18 (and I’ve already said I don’t date them that young, I don’t go below 21 because it’s too inconvenient) she’s an ADULT and if you’ve raised her right, she’s capable of making up her own mind.[quote]

My oldest son is 20 and if a sophisticated, well educated, well off 45 year old woman tried to get to him, I’d warn him too. [/quote]First of all, I’m 40 and I’m dating a 24 year old. Her parents are older than me, and my kids are way younger than her… [quote]I personally do not think it right to have sex with a person your parents age, or conversely, your own children’s age. I can’t put my finger on it but it just feels ‘off’ to me. It feels like it would ‘damage’ the younger person a bit. [/quote]The only part of her that I “damage” is her vajayjay (that’s a JOKE, by the way, in case it wasn’t obvious).[quote]

You’re manipulating them for sex[/quote]I don’t manipulate ANYONE for ANYTHING. I learned a long time ago that to be successful in life you have to play win:win. I don’t lie. Ever. I open a door of possibilities and excitement. Some women choose to enter the door, some don’t. I don’t make false promises of what’s behind the door. And the door isn’t like and amusement park ride where you have to be under 30 to enter! [quote] you’re not really interested in them as a person[/quote]Um… How are YOU qualified to tell ME who I am or am not interested in as a person…[quote]. Fuck, you were 25 years old the day she came into the world, that doesn’t bother anyone even just a little? And if not, I’m curious as to why not? [/quote] Again, I am not currently dating anyone 25 years younger than I am. Not saying I won’t when I’m older, but that’s not happening here.

113

[quote]Claudan wrote:

[quote]Silyak wrote:

[quote]Claudan wrote:
angrychix, that’s just wrong dude.

I find a lot of men(26+) really look to find attention from young girls. I wonder why.

My best guess is that a person who considers it ‘winning’ to bang a brain-dead child, is the same person who never got the attention from said females in their own child years. So now, it feels good for you to have a hot chick crave you? Well, that’s even more sad b/c you said it yourself, they aren’t actually craving you, they are craving your things.

How the fuck is that winning?

You need a soul [/quote]

Clearly you are a prodigy able to psychoanalyze people over the internet. And moreover don’t understand the sexual market very well. [/quote]

I’m sorry if an objective view on the matter is hard to face especially when it ‘hits home’ but I am glad that the pedophiles on here are making themselves visible. [/quote]

Listen, you fucktard. Calling someone a pedophile for dating a woman in her mid 20’s is not even close to the mark. A pedophile is someone who likes PRE-PUBESCENT CHILDREN. Not ADULTS. Slow your roll and back the fuck up with that shit.

114

And anyone who hasn’t met and dated an amazing, interesting, sexy woman in her 20’s (regardless of how old you are) really needs to get out more. They are out there, and they are FUN to be around. Are there stupid idiot 20 somethings? Sure there are - both male and female. Are the exceptional women in their 20’s interested in dating broke, low status losers? Nope, they are interested in dating MEN who have their act together. I happen to fall into that category. Haters gonna hate.

115

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
I wonder if all the 32-45 year old men in this thread would be OK with their 18-25 year old daughter getting banged by a grown man many years her senior. I have two sons, so I can’t really put myself in the shoes of a father of a 20 year old daughter who’s being taken to jazz clubs, bed and breakfasts and wine tasting by a guy more than twice her age. My age. That’s not an attack on AC or any of the guys who have no issue with it.
[/quote]So you’d rather her driving around with a broke loser getting high in his car and getting fucked in the back seat cuz he can’t afford a hotel? If she’s over 18 (and I’ve already said I don’t date them that young, I don’t go below 21 because it’s too inconvenient) she’s an ADULT and if you’ve raised her right, she’s capable of making up her own mind.
[/quote]

But you didn’t answer his question in this one. He mentioned nothing about a broke loser as I’m sure he wouldn’t prefer that, either, but he did ask how you would feel if your hypothetical daughter was in the same situation.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, I’m just genuinely interested in both sides of the spectrum.

116

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
I wonder if all the 32-45 year old men in this thread would be OK with their 18-25 year old daughter getting banged by a grown man many years her senior. I have two sons, so I can’t really put myself in the shoes of a father of a 20 year old daughter who’s being taken to jazz clubs, bed and breakfasts and wine tasting by a guy more than twice her age. My age. That’s not an attack on AC or any of the guys who have no issue with it.
[/quote]So you’d rather her driving around with a broke loser getting high in his car and getting fucked in the back seat cuz he can’t afford a hotel? If she’s over 18 (and I’ve already said I don’t date them that young, I don’t go below 21 because it’s too inconvenient) she’s an ADULT and if you’ve raised her right, she’s capable of making up her own mind.
[/quote]

But you didn’t answer his question in this one. He mentioned nothing about a broke loser as I’m sure he wouldn’t prefer that, either, but he did ask how you would feel if your hypothetical daughter was in the same situation.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, I’m just genuinely interested in both sides of the spectrum. [/quote]
This is easy for me to say since I don’t have kids.

My take is that when your child is an adult, all you can offer is perspective and advice so that they can make an intelligent decision with their own lives. It’s ultimately her choice.

If she finds someone she’s happy with and who respects her, I’m pretty sure I’d feel the same regardless of his age.

If she finds someone who’s clearly just using and manipulating her, I’m pretty sure I’d feel the same regardless of his age.

117

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
I wonder if all the 32-45 year old men in this thread would be OK with their 18-25 year old daughter getting banged by a grown man many years her senior. I have two sons, so I can’t really put myself in the shoes of a father of a 20 year old daughter who’s being taken to jazz clubs, bed and breakfasts and wine tasting by a guy more than twice her age. My age. That’s not an attack on AC or any of the guys who have no issue with it.
[/quote]So you’d rather her driving around with a broke loser getting high in his car and getting fucked in the back seat cuz he can’t afford a hotel? If she’s over 18 (and I’ve already said I don’t date them that young, I don’t go below 21 because it’s too inconvenient) she’s an ADULT and if you’ve raised her right, she’s capable of making up her own mind.
[/quote]

But you didn’t answer his question in this one. He mentioned nothing about a broke loser as I’m sure he wouldn’t prefer that, either, but he did ask how you would feel if your hypothetical daughter was in the same situation.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, I’m just genuinely interested in both sides of the spectrum. [/quote]

I don’t have a daughter, I have two sons. But as a parent, the best I can wish for is that my children spend time with people that treat them well, care for them and respect them. I think that’s pretty universal. At the same time, I realize that once my children are adults, I really don’t get to tell them what to do with their personal lives. I try to keep an open door with my kids and I know that they trust me and respect me and value my opinion.

My son dated a girl last year that I wasn’t too crazy about. I spoke to him about my concerns. But at no time did I ever make her feel unwelcome in my home. He eventually saw what I saw and ended it with her. But I never put any pressure on him to do so. Kids have to learn for themselves in matters of the heart.

But again, we are NOT talking about KIDS here. We are talking about GROWN WOMEN in their MID TWENTIES…

118

[quote]LoRez wrote:

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
I wonder if all the 32-45 year old men in this thread would be OK with their 18-25 year old daughter getting banged by a grown man many years her senior. I have two sons, so I can’t really put myself in the shoes of a father of a 20 year old daughter who’s being taken to jazz clubs, bed and breakfasts and wine tasting by a guy more than twice her age. My age. That’s not an attack on AC or any of the guys who have no issue with it.
[/quote]So you’d rather her driving around with a broke loser getting high in his car and getting fucked in the back seat cuz he can’t afford a hotel? If she’s over 18 (and I’ve already said I don’t date them that young, I don’t go below 21 because it’s too inconvenient) she’s an ADULT and if you’ve raised her right, she’s capable of making up her own mind.
[/quote]

But you didn’t answer his question in this one. He mentioned nothing about a broke loser as I’m sure he wouldn’t prefer that, either, but he did ask how you would feel if your hypothetical daughter was in the same situation.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, I’m just genuinely interested in both sides of the spectrum. [/quote]
This is easy for me to say since I don’t have kids.

My take is that when your child is an adult, all you can offer is perspective and advice so that they can make an intelligent decision with their own lives. It’s ultimately her choice.

If she finds someone she’s happy with and who respects her, I’m pretty sure I’d feel the same regardless of his age.

If she finds someone who’s clearly just using and manipulating her, I’m pretty sure I’d feel the same regardless of his age.[/quote]

Exactly! If he’s a dick and treats her poorly but is around her age, how is that better than an older man who treats her well?

119

I’m not impressed; you sound pathetic bragging about threesomes.

A threesome isn’t some magical/superior or unattainable event. It’s just sex with two people. You had it at 16 and that somehow justifies you being a pervert now that you’re older?

No, it doesn’t.

Stop preying on naive children.

Now I’m wondering, are you divorced?

120

LMFAO

Much funny. Very humor.