How Would You Have Reacted?

[quote]Regular Gonzalez wrote:

I would prefer to take the risk and speak up when someone does something that pisses me off. There is no way I’m going to let someone get away with pushing in front of me in a line just on the remote chance that they may have a violent boyfriend in the vicinity.

With that said though, the guy should have waited to make sure that the woman actually was pushing in, and not just checking the menu.

[/quote]

This man didn’t speak up. In fact, through that whole exchange he avoided even looking her in the eye. I am not condoning any of the actions of the woman or the boyfriend, but I am pointing out that this guy acted like a giant pussy and it did not work out well for him.

We won’t ever know if being more assertive himself could have avoided all of this. However, I seriously doubt that had he been substantial enough to not only LOOK like he could take care of himself but the balls to look her in the eye instead of talking into his cell phone once she questioned what he said, that this would have turned out the same.

I would really like to know what was said into the cell phone that started all of this. Maybe the key here is to stop talking loud about people if you don’t have the ability to back it up at all.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
In fact, through that whole exchange he avoided even looking her in the eye.
[/quote]

You know, I can’t help but think if there’s ONE WAY to piss someone off EVEN MORE who’s already pissed at you - it’s to disregard them.

So his lack of eye contact isn’t just submissive, it’s incredibly disrespectful.

[quote]Professor X wrote:

This man didn’t speak up. In fact, through that whole exchange he avoided even looking her in the eye. I am not condoning any of the actions of the woman or the boyfriend, but I am pointing out that this guy acted like a giant pussy and it did not work out well for him.

We won’t ever know if being more assertive himself could have avoided all of this. However, I seriously doubt that had he been substantial enough to not only LOOK like he could take care of himself but the balls to look her in the eye instead of talking into his cell phone once she questioned what he said, that this would have turned out the same.

I would really like to know what was said into the cell phone that started all of this. Maybe the key here is to stop talking loud about people if you don’t have the ability to back it up at all.

[/quote]

I agree with most of what you are saying. There is no doubt that the cell phone guy handled the situation horrendously.

I didn’t mean to quote your post. I was responding to this comment by EmilyQ “As I recall she said something along the lines of “Emily, dear, if you can’t say anything nice, then just STFU, because you never know when someone might have a violent criminal of a boyfriend waiting outside to whale on your ass for distressing his girl.””

My point was that in general if someone disrespects me by pushing in front of me, there is no way I am going to base the way I respond on a potential worst case scenario.

If I lived in a different part of the world to where I do now I might have to change the way I think in that regard though.

[quote]Revo09 wrote:
I mean, honestly, what do you do? Does anyone know with certainty what the legal repercussions are for stepping in and helping this guy? If I step in, choke this guy out, do I go to jail for assault, eventhough it was the “right” thing to do?[/quote]

This is generally a too difficult and complex topic to address within the confines of a thread post. It’s easier to explain in person. However, I will give you some VAGUE GENERALITIES.

As everyone will usually say, the laws differ in each state. However, GENERALLY SPEAKING, you can use reasonable and necessary force to protect person and property. “Reasonable” and/or “necessary” is a judgment call to be addressed by the police, DA, a grand jury and then ultimately a jury…worse case scenario.

GENERALLY, if you use the least amount of force necessary to protect persons or property, you will be ok. To use your example, choking someone out is actually a dangerous maneuver…with the popularity of MMA now on TV, everyone seems to think choking someone out is a routine thing. It’s not. It’s inherently dangerous. You can damage thier trachea. They can throw a clot. You can hold it too long and cut off oxygen to the brain. Believe it or not, choking someone out is fairly extreme and can result in serious injury and even death. I honestly cannot think of a situation sitting here now where I think it’s reasonable to choke someone unconscious. You MMA wannabes better be careful about that crap. It all works out on TV (so far), with a ref and rules, but that isn’t real life.

Other restraints, if you know how to apply them, would be more appropriate for the attack shown in this thread. Of course, if he then attempts to attack you, you are within your rights to use reasonable and necessary force to defend yourself.

Finally, no state law is going to spell out expressly what is “reasonable” or “necessary”. Your actions will be judged/weighed against the situation that was occuring. , There are just too many variables to consider and things like the size of your attacker and your reasonable fear for your safety or life are relevant and specific to the situation - there is no “text book” examples, real life doesn’t mimic a text book example. The local DA could see it one way and the jury another.

So put it this way. It’s best for you to AVOID a physical confrontation. If you’re being attacked, you do what is necessary to protect yourself, within reason, making sure you go home that day, and worry about the rest later. I’d rather err on the side or going home to my loved ones with the brain cells intact rather than doing some legal analysis. If you’re in a position to intervene, whether professionally or as a good samaritan, you better use the least amount of force necessary to accomplish the task.

I’m not even going to broach the subject of deadly force. If you use it, you better well have had the reason to do so. If you’re trained to use it, you know under what circumstances you may do so.

I would have felt very comfortable, legally speaking, immediately restraining the fat boy such that he was no longer a threat to the person that was attacked and releasing him when he was no longer a threat. If he attempted to get back to the obviously injured and vulnerable man, additional restraint would have been reasonable. If he attempted to attack me, after witnessing what he had just done to the victim, it would be perfectly reasonable to strike him first. I said strike him, not beat him up. I didn’t say bust his windpipe, martial art web sites aside. I would strike him, retreat a bit and see if he continued. If he continued, I’d escalate it. My absolute honest to goodness impression is that I could end a physical confrontation with that man with a good leg kick or two. That is an example of using the LEAST amount of physical force to protect myself. To the contrary, loading up and striking him in the jaw, nose, temple, head etc is possibly asking for legal trouble…and who needs that (I’ve been there)?

The bottom line - whatever you do, understand that you may be in court one day defending WHY you did it. And believe me, you want the terms “reasonable” and “necessary” on your side.

There is a force continuum so to speak and you’d be wise not to proceed up the dial any quicker than absolutely necessary.

EDIT: None of the above contradicts my original replies that I believe it is rightful and ethical to intervene. I’d hope such a man or men were present had it been my son or brother that said something stupid.

[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
Aleksandr wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
Aleksandr wrote:

How old are you?

Over 30yrs old.

Oh Jesus

And you think that using mad Bruce Lee skillz to throw down with a drug dealer in a pizzeria is a way to a long, healthy life?

What are you smoking?

I never said anything about a long life or throwing down with a drug dealer. All I said was that cell-guy should have been more polite and he probably won’t have been beaten. But if he was polite and the guy still went after him, he should defend yourself.

If you are saying that people should not defend themselves for fear of getting hurt you are naive and a victim in training. Criminals love guys like you.

I don’t think that standing there and not defending yourself is a way to a long life. But if you do, tell me where you live and I’ll have my baby sister come by and kick you ass and take your lunch money.

Yeah, send your baby sister. Tell her to wait until I swing, duck, and punch me back mid-swing. Jeet Kune Do my butt.[/quote]

Wait until you swing? Boy you really are naive! No Bro, she will just come in, smile, and then kick you in the balls and send you home crying to your mommy!

[quote]Lorisco wrote:
Aleksandr wrote:

Yeah, send your baby sister. Tell her to wait until I swing, duck, and punch me back mid-swing. Jeet Kune Do my butt.

Wait until you swing? Boy you really are naive! No Bro, she will just come in, smile, and then kick you in the balls and send you home crying to your mommy!

[/quote]

Maybe she should be a street fighter. And you could be her coach.

[quote]Aleksandr wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
Aleksandr wrote:

Yeah, send your baby sister. Tell her to wait until I swing, duck, and punch me back mid-swing. Jeet Kune Do my butt.

Wait until you swing? Boy you really are naive! No Bro, she will just come in, smile, and then kick you in the balls and send you home crying to your mommy!

Maybe she should be a street fighter. And you could be her coach.[/quote]

Dude you should totally do this.

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
Revo09 wrote:
I mean, honestly, what do you do? Does anyone know with certainty what the legal repercussions are for stepping in and helping this guy? If I step in, choke this guy out, do I go to jail for assault, eventhough it was the “right” thing to do?

This is generally a too difficult and complex topic to address within the confines of a thread post. It’s easier to explain in person. However, I will give you some VAGUE GENERALITIES.

As everyone will usually say, the laws differ in each state. However, GENERALLY SPEAKING, you can use reasonable and necessary force to protect person and property. “Reasonable” and/or “necessary” is a judgment call to be addressed by the police, DA, a grand jury and then ultimately a jury…worse case scenario.

GENERALLY, if you use the least amount of force necessary to protect persons or property, you will be ok. To use your example, choking someone out is actually a dangerous maneuver…with the popularity of MMA now on TV, everyone seems to think choking someone out is a routine thing. It’s not.

It’s inherently dangerous. You can damage thier trachea. They can throw a clot. You can hold it too long and cut off oxygen to the brain. Believe it or not, choking someone out is fairly extreme and can result in serious injury and even death.

I honestly cannot think of a situation sitting here now where I think it’s reasonable to choke someone unconscious. You MMA wannabes better be careful about that crap. It all works out on TV (so far), with a ref and rules, but that isn’t real life.

Other restraints, if you know how to apply them, would be more appropriate for the attack shown in this thread. Of course, if he then attempts to attack you, you are within your rights to use reasonable and necessary force to defend yourself.

Finally, no state law is going to spell out expressly what is “reasonable” or “necessary”. Your actions will be judged/weighed against the situation that was occuring.

There are just too many variables to consider and things like the size of your attacker and your reasonable fear for your safety or life are relevant and specific to the situation - there is no “text book” examples, real life doesn’t mimic a text book example. The local DA could see it one way and the jury another.

So put it this way. It’s best for you to AVOID a physical confrontation. If you’re being attacked, you do what is necessary to protect yourself, within reason, making sure you go home that day, and worry about the rest later.

I’d rather err on the side or going home to my loved ones with the brain cells intact rather than doing some legal analysis. If you’re in a position to intervene, whether professionally or as a good samaritan, you better use the least amount of force necessary to accomplish the task.

I’m not even going to broach the subject of deadly force. If you use it, you better well have had the reason to do so. If you’re trained to use it, you know under what circumstances you may do so.

I would have felt very comfortable, legally speaking, immediately restraining the fat boy such that he was no longer a threat to the person that was attacked and releasing him when he was no longer a threat. If he attempted to get back to the obviously injured and vulnerable man, additional restraint would have been reasonable.

If he attempted to attack me, after witnessing what he had just done to the victim, it would be perfectly reasonable to strike him first. I said strike him, not beat him up. I didn’t say bust his windpipe, martial art web sites aside. I would strike him, retreat a bit and see if he continued.

If he continued, I’d escalate it. My absolute honest to goodness impression is that I could end a physical confrontation with that man with a good leg kick or two. That is an example of using the LEAST amount of physical force to protect myself.

To the contrary, loading up and striking him in the jaw, nose, temple, head etc is possibly asking for legal trouble…and who needs that (I’ve been there)?

The bottom line - whatever you do, understand that you may be in court one day defending WHY you did it. And believe me, you want the terms “reasonable” and “necessary” on your side.

There is a force continuum so to speak and you’d be wise not to proceed up the dial any quicker than absolutely necessary.

EDIT: None of the above contradicts my original replies that I believe it is rightful and ethical to intervene. I’d hope such a man or men were present had it been my son or brother that said something stupid. [/quote]

Interesting, thanks for the reply.

I guess I shouldn’t have used the term “choke him out” because it could be taken literally. In my head that came out as “restraining him.”

Any idea if his size is also taken into consideration when defining what is “reasonable?”

A lot of people are saying any T-man should’ve done something to help the guy.

Does it make sense to stand up and risk your life for people who wouldn’t do anything to help you if you were in a deadly situation yourself?

I’m not sure.

Woulda pulled out my strap and showed that man the definintion of street justice :slight_smile:

Any males here who would one-two the thundercunt if she swung at YOU? She slapped him a couple times…

[quote]msd0060 wrote:
thundercunt[/quote]

ROFLcopter

[quote]msd0060 wrote:
Any males here who would one-two the thundercunt if she swung at YOU? She slapped him a couple times…[/quote]

Although I would be extremely enraged, she wasn’t the one that would be putting my life in danger, so no.

I liked the old rule better.

[quote]Revo09 wrote:
Any idea if his size is also taken into consideration when defining what is “reasonable?”[/quote]

Generally, yes. Generally.