How to Not be a Douche

(also why does ‘Honey’ beer not taste like honey…No matter how many I drink? End Bracket.

Yep. Yep, I do believe I am a douche. Tip to not be a douche? Dont want to get into what prompted me to post this right now but I’ll be logging on at work tomorrow.

Tip 1 from myself: Dont post threads like this.

I was going to work anonymously from the shadows but after I thought about it I realized that would be douchy and unmanly.

I will await your thoughts on this matter with a great deal of anxious anticipation, Andrew. I am also interested in limiting the number of ways in which I am, or could potentially be, a douche. Tips in that direction would be very welcome.

what a douche

[quote]andrew_live wrote:
Yep. Yep, I do believe I am a douche. Tip to not be a douche? Dont want to get into what prompted me to post this right now but I’ll be logging on at work tomorrow.

Tip 1 from myself: Dont post threads like this.

I was going to work anonymously from the shadows but after I thought about it I realized that would be douchy and unmanly. [/quote]

Ha! I’m game and I know your pain.

I am used to very blunt people, and I am one myself. Try the compliment sandwich:

“Nice tapout shirt bro…that squat would be great if you were in ballerina…great work on the curls.”

Three positives in a row, and I was able to get a little douche out in the middle.

I’m confused. Is this thread referring to some other thread or something?

[quote]andrew_live wrote:
(also why does ‘Honey’ beer not taste like honey…No matter how many I drink? End Bracket[/quote]

Same reason drinking more tequila doesn’t help you understand Spanish any better. Learned that one the hard way; woke up on the bathroom floor in some Mexican friends’ apartment – locked in, since the handle broke off.

Ahhhhh, nothing quite like a Pre-Post case of Beer.

BEER it’s what’s for Breakfast!

yea, Sleemans honey brown and Big Rock honey- sounds delicious, tastes like the ass end of a northbound cow.

[quote]Nards wrote:
I’m confused. Is this thread referring to some other thread or something?[/quote]

Nope, just self reflection I guess. Thought about a lot of shit. Realized I’m fairly good at pretending to not be a douche (in real life) against all my instincts. I dont seem to bother with filtering on the internet good or bad? Seriously I’ve told little kids theyre fat (in real life)…that was a while ago, and they were pretty fat.
Usually when I try to look cool or be manly I end up being a douche. I just hate people pussyfooting about so maybe I take things too far.

I always thought if I pretended to be a ‘good’ person long enough it would stick. Not the case. I am forcing myself to let go of some pretty big hate grudges and not my pet peeves turn into major psychotic hatreds, and not talking is proving pretty successful (I say a lot less douchy things when I’m not talking).

Trying to get counseling on an internet forum actually seems stupid and douchy in retrospect now, this site is pretty useful and has …interesting people. All the same maybe this will help:

I’d laugh if that girl was a shemale. ^^

^ I wouldnt…its from a facebook page called ‘Female Fitness Models’. Ever since I subscribed its made my newsfeed oh so enjoyable to look at.

[quote]harrypotter wrote:
I’d laugh if that girl was a shemale. ^[1]

Better question: Why is your first inclination to wonder whether or not she has a dick? Hopeful?


  1. /quote ↩︎

Why not consider doing some real counseling? Not to prevent you being a douche, but to help you figure out what you like and don’t like about yourself and to support you in making changes. To “esteem” someone means to respect and admire them. You need to work on your self-esteem. You should be someone YOU like. Good luck.

well I’m rereading TC Luoma’s Testosterone principals and Dave Tate’s Under the bar. Seems to be some good stuff in there.

Not really sure what I was hoping for out of this thread. Surely I cant be the only douche out there. I think a lot of stress in my life makes me tend to be a little douchier. So going on that I’m doing what I can to remove stressy shit. Actually the opposite of what Dave Tate says to do in his book (Dust or Blast, I’m removing the Dust).

I have a lot of very strong beliefs. For example I do not believe in any god. I used to always tell people I was agnostic to be nice but I’m sick of that and it made me feel like a pussy. So my problem is that I feel the need to speak up when someone tells me that

“only God can judge… on that note, if you don’t believe in god it’s not your place to pass judgment either” (real quote).

WTF!?

I get pissed.

Also: Feminests, pro-fat People people (the 2 seats for the price of one on the airplane), prescribing drugs to kids, and psychics really grind my gears.

But I’m ok with gay people even if I dont think churches should have to let them get married in the name of their god, they can get married legally. And I have a black friend so I must be a good guy.

^with a sprinkle of sarcasm

I agree that there are too many fat kids. But if I had one and you called them fat, I’d punch you in your fucking face.

[quote]StevenF wrote:
I agree that there are too many fat kids. But if I had one and you called them fat, I’d punch you in your fucking face. [/quote]

You would punch someone for telling the truth?

Are our societies not effeminate enough?

Must we work overtime to add another layer?

edited: I knew I had written it wrong.

Damn Alzheimers.

[quote]andrew_live wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:
I’d laugh if that girl was a shemale. ^[1]

Better question: Why is your first inclination to wonder whether or not she has a dick? Hopeful? [/quote]

Yeah I love that shemale cawk.

On a serious note I usually avoid slobbering my chops every since another board had a thread which showed plenty of pretty ladies which then turned out to be shemales. I commented on a couple.

I admitted I’d still tap them though. SO did others, plenty of fun.


  1. /quote ↩︎

[quote]harrypotter wrote:
I’d laugh if that girl was a shemale. ^[1]

I’d feel like I won the fucking lottery.

It would be like having a car that had both automatic and stick shift capabilities. She’d be the “Deluxe Model/SS/RT” all rolled into one.


  1. /quote ↩︎