How Do You Deal?

Off Topic
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[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Waylander wrote:
I’m just a young buck, but I’m pretty sure staying in a doomed marriage just for the kids is a bad idea.

Your kids will appreciate it much more if you and your wife are not together, rather then having to endure the tense atmosphere your marital problems are causing[/quote]

I stayed 2 and half years longer with my X wife than I should have for my kids.

I will say to make a clean and productive break in a marriage, both party’s have to make every effort to make it work. Couples therapy, self therapy, whatever.

Like what has been said already in this discussion, there are always three sides to a story, yours, hers and the truth. Fix yourself and fix your marriage first.

I will say that no matter what your kids are already affected. You cannot hide from your kids your feelings and relationship with your wife. They know. [/quote]

I have a friend like this. He hates his marriage (while making fun of me for not being married), feels stressed out because of the kids and hates going home. I would hate my life if that was my outlook. Staying with someone you truly don’t love for the kids doesn’t seem like it ever is the best idea.

It isn’t like kids don’t pick up on everything.

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Deal with sleep issues and may help anger

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[quote]Testy1 wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
I’ve had to stop reacting and start responding. My reaction is usually an impulse that leads to more problems.
My response is usually a well thought action that leads to a solution.

ex. Guy behind me driving like he wants to run up my ass with a speculum-

Reaction= Stop the car and block the lane. Reach through window before he knows what is happening, tear him out and beat him senseless as he is bent backwards over the door.

Response= Find a place to turn off and let him pass.
[/quote]

Good stuff.

I find a lot of the time it helps to remind yourself that it’s not personal. You are not the only one that guy tailgates.

Also, whoever said about setting the example for your kids was spot on. Do things because you think it is the right thing to do, not because you will get something out of it.

Last, don’t be so hard on yourself, it takes failures to succeed.

As far as night terrors, I have no experience with this. Do you take sleep aids like Melatonin or ZMA?[/quote]

x2 on the good stuff.

People go through life reacting to things and situtations and kid themselves that they are actually actions.

Acting as much in the moment as possible instead of reacting mechanically like a robot to preconceived thoughts, fears, prejudices, shallow emotions, insecurities, esteem issues etc, etc is fucking hard but nescessary.

Hell, I make a sort of ritual and almost a game out of it when I drive to be as relaxed and courteous as possible and almost kind of laughing gently at the assholes who seem to want to go to an early fucking grave.
Well if they want to I am not going to stop them, but I am going to get out of their way so they don’t take me with them and smile serenely at them as they scream past.

Panic attacks are no fun WHAT SO EVER and are a symptom that something is getting more serious ---- sort that shit out before you have a major one like I did while you are doing something important and it incapacitates you.

Good luck Buddy.

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If I have any brain power at all, I’m sure the answer can be found in all of your tips and advice. Your words have meant a lot. Thank you all!

P.S. I’m ready to stop whining, read on lifting, and see some bewbies!

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Good thread folks.

High Five GAL

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This guy knows how to deal: