How do you become the best you can be when you have no support and you are surrounded by mediocrity? At times I feel like I am destined to fail just because of my environment. I have dreams of things that are very different from what I have ever known growing up. I feel like I have to turn my back and leave things and people I know in order to achieve them. It scares me sometimes to think of it and think that things will never be the same again. It is hard being a “pioneer”.
My own…alcohol.
Others mediocrity…more alcohol.
It truly is the cause of, and solution to, many of life’s problems.
The children of Vietnam Boat People from the 70s and 80s who arrived in this country with nothing are now engineers, PhDs and medical doctors. In the same time period the children of blacks living in inner city housing projects and the children of hillbillies from the deep south are living the same way their friends and family have for 30 years.
Bottom line is if you want to achieve more out of life and you are in a culture that settles for less, you have to escape it. You may have to leave friends and family (and comfort zone) but you will make new friends and you will eventually have your own family. Your children will grow up in a new and better culture that you create. A culture that is positive and growth oriented, not stagnant like the one you had to leave behind.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
My own…alcohol.
Others mediocrity…more alcohol.
It truly is the cause of, and solution to, many of life’s problems.[/quote]
Ah Doc, scan down the thread topics. There’s one for you!
If you have dreams of things that are very different then your environment, then yes you have to make a choice. Pursue those dreams and take the consequences of your choice, or else stay where you are and keep everything the way it is. Depends on what you actually want, there isn’t necessarily a wrong answer.
But yes, if you choose to pursue something that is very different then where you are now, that likely means leaving people behind. That’s how life works, not everyone in your life is going to pursue the same thing as you and are busy doing their own thing.
[quote]on edge wrote:
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
My own…alcohol.
Others mediocrity…more alcohol.
It truly is the cause of, and solution to, many of life’s problems.[/quote]
Ah Doc, scan down the thread topics. There’s one for you![/quote]
Got it, thanks!
Looks like a great contest.
When you push your body, your body will adapt. Same thing applies for surprisingly many things in life, even when theres a tragic event in your life you will eventually adapt to the new situation and hopefully be a new and better man. If there is no one who supports you in your current situation, then what exactly are you afraid of? If you are not where you want to be in life, you and you only are the person responsible for making the necessary things happen to get you from where you are to where you want to be. Its a harsh thing to realise, but once you do, it really makes shit so much easier. Stop looking for excuses and start looking for answers, thats when you actually get shit done.
[quote]on edge wrote:
The children of Vietnam Boat People from the 70s and 80s who arrived in this country with nothing are now engineers, PhDs and medical doctors. In the same time period the children of blacks living in inner city housing projects and the children of hillbillies from the deep south are living the same way their friends and family have for 30 years.
Bottom line is if you want to achieve more out of life and you are in a culture that settles for less, you have to escape it. You may have to leave friends and family (and comfort zone) but you will make new friends and you will eventually have your own family. Your children will grow up in a new and better culture that you create. A culture that is positive and growth oriented, not stagnant like the one you had to leave behind.[/quote]
good answer.
[quote]Fistiecuffs wrote:
When you push your body, your body will adapt. Same thing applies for surprisingly many things in life, even when theres a tragic event in your life you will eventually adapt to the new situation and hopefully be a new and better man. If there is no one who supports you in your current situation, then what exactly are you afraid of? If you are not where you want to be in life, you and you only are the person responsible for making the necessary things happen to get you from where you are to where you want to be. Its a harsh thing to realise, but once you do, it really makes shit so much easier. Stop looking for excuses and start looking for answers, thats when you actually get shit done.[/quote]
I guess im afraid of both success and failure. I wasnt raised to be a fighter and by that I mean I was never taught to persevere when faced with challenges. I was not taught how to deal with struggles. Im in college right now and this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. At times I feel like quitting, but the fear of just being a regular old schmoe’ scares me ever more than the possible success.
[quote]on edge wrote:
The children of Vietnam Boat People from the 70s and 80s who arrived in this country with nothing are now engineers, PhDs and medical doctors. In the same time period the children of blacks living in inner city housing projects and the children of hillbillies from the deep south are living the same way their friends and family have for 30 years.
Bottom line is if you want to achieve more out of life and you are in a culture that settles for less, you have to escape it. You may have to leave friends and family (and comfort zone) but you will make new friends and you will eventually have your own family. Your children will grow up in a new and better culture that you create. A culture that is positive and growth oriented, not stagnant like the one you had to leave behind.[/quote]
It’s funny, I will be an engineer soon and I feel like a total loser.
[quote]talon2nr7588 wrote:
I guess im afraid of both success and failure. I wasnt raised to be a fighter and by that I mean I was never taught to persevere when faced with challenges. I was not taught how to deal with struggles. Im in college right now and this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. At times I feel like quitting, but the fear of just being a regular old schmoe’ scares me ever more than the possible success.[/quote]
One of the most important “secrets” of success is simply: get really good at failing.
That obviously doesn’t mean to try to fail.
But it means, learn to take risks, learn to make mistakes, to learn from those mistakes, to learn from the mistakes of others, to learn to be introspective and just keep pushing the envelope. Don’t be afraid of pissing a few people off in the process. You’ll need to cross a few boundaries to understand where they really are (and which ones are really important).
Mediocrity is “comfortable”. When you find yourself in a place that feels good, take a look around and make sure that’s where you want to be. If you’re not there yet, you need to get accustomed to being uncomfortable until you are.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with “settling”, just make sure you settle where you want to be. And it’s ok to put some aspects of your life on hold while you put your effort toward others. Where you are right now, I’m guessing you don’t have a good feel for those things yet; eventually you’ll develop that.
And tequila.
[quote]jasmincar wrote:
[quote]on edge wrote:
The children of Vietnam Boat People from the 70s and 80s who arrived in this country with nothing are now engineers, PhDs and medical doctors. In the same time period the children of blacks living in inner city housing projects and the children of hillbillies from the deep south are living the same way their friends and family have for 30 years.
Bottom line is if you want to achieve more out of life and you are in a culture that settles for less, you have to escape it. You may have to leave friends and family (and comfort zone) but you will make new friends and you will eventually have your own family. Your children will grow up in a new and better culture that you create. A culture that is positive and growth oriented, not stagnant like the one you had to leave behind.[/quote]
It’s funny, I will be an engineer soon and I feel like a total loser.
[/quote]
?
And if all things were the same except you weren’t going to be an engineer?
Keep moving forward. Graduate, get a job or another internship if you have to, but keep moving forward. If you do that, things tend to come together. Your marketability grows and your confidence grows with it.
I don’t deal with mediocrity. Mediocrity deals with me.
[quote]LoRez wrote:
One of the most important “secrets” of success is simply: get really good at failing.
[/quote]
This, and the overall message Lorez put out.
The big problem with this “everyone’s a winner!” mentality that is floating isn’t the issue with trying to make everyone feel good or make everyone wallow in mediocrity and whatnot. It’s that there is an implicit assumption that failing is bad.
But that isn’t true.
Failing, or more accurately learning to accept and learn from failure, is probably the single biggest thing people can use to truly succeed in life.
OP,
Yeah, you will have to move on. Yes you will fail. But you’ll find successes.
jasmincar,
If there is one thing that I have learned (or tried to learn) in the last few years it’s that you have to be happy with what you have while always “doing something” to make things better. Happiness is very different than success. “Feeling like a failure” doesn’t help anyone, least of all yourself.
on edge,
good posts.
One mans ceiling is another mans mediocrity
Its what makes the world a unique place to live.
[quote]talon2nr7588 wrote:
How do you become the best you can be when you have no support and you are surrounded by mediocrity? At times I feel like I am destined to fail just because of my environment. I have dreams of things that are very different from what I have ever known growing up. I feel like I have to turn my back and leave things and people I know in order to achieve them. It scares me sometimes to think of it and think that things will never be the same again. It is hard being a “pioneer”. [/quote]
Chances are you will fail. Everyone fails if they strive to succeed and excel at their chosen pursuits in life.
I’m no master of success or philosopher. However, in my experience consciously making decisions everyday that improve your life and bring you one step closer to your goals is key.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
My own…alcohol.
Others mediocrity…more alcohol.
It truly is the cause of, and solution to, many of life’s problems.[/quote]
Amen!
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
-Calvin Coolidge
love this quote!