Thanks. Yeah I am the guy in the red because I am a math person, I approach everything in life like an equation I need to solve.
I recommend reading something from the humanities for balance - specifically Iām going to recommend āMeditationsā by Marcus Aurelius OR āThe Enchiridionā by Epictetus.
Iām an analyst with a masters in stats - I know your approach - itās isolating. Supplementing it with some biographies and philosophy goes a long way.
Donāt read to read, read to understand. Context is key.
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I know plenty of engineers, actuaries, and accountants. They donāt struggle in social settings (at least not so much that it shows)
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Attempting to treat humans this way wonāt work, as youāve noticed. You even TRY to apply this approach to yourself (ātell me what about my personality is badā), and when people do it to you, you are quick to refute, defend, explain or deny. Now imagine how any other human feels when you try to do the same to them (that is to say, apply an objective mathematical approach to a human matter).
Iām a misanthrope, but even I understand that humans are far more psychological than they are mathematical. If you try to āsolveā them, youāll offend them by nature of classifying them. Live humanity, donāt try to solve it.
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You take obvious online jokes to heart. You seem to have a belief that youāre smarter than us (stating that child porn is illegal like if no one knows that.) Youāve posted just a few times on this thread alone and I already donāt like you and I bet this girl wonāt either.
Its an online forum yes, take everything people say with a grain of salt since none of us really know you. But know that your responses have come off as arrogant and hard headed.
BOOM!
Is it because you put on a fake persona?
You may have picked a hammer to drive in a screw on this one.
Iāve heard this a lot in life and have even said it a few times myself.
The thing is, it isnāt true. The truth is that it is much harder to learn to listen and understand people than it is to just break someone down into factors that donāt solve properly, thus making them easy to dismiss as irrational.
People donāt like being āsolvedā.
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Try to talk to this girl and let it sort itself out. There are so many other girls out there to talk to if sheās not buying what youāre selling.
I think this all comes down to the fact that I have to be careful about what I say. I will keep that in mind next time.
Right, and I know I wonāt look like a triathlete because I donāt train that way.
Donāt worry about looking like a bodybuilder because:
Youāre good at math right? 
Jeffs competiton lifts:
502 Squat
336 Bench
512 Deadlift
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Cool. I get your point. My lifts are far below most athletes, so I only need to worry about strengthening them.
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High school is weird. Iāve had much more success with dating and non-dating interactions with the other gender since not being in high school. Iāve actually made a couple of great friends from dating apps, which is kind of odd when I put it that way.
Just ask them about their life, find out what they like to do, ask them if theyād like your company while doing something they like. Donāt be scary or creepy, flirt if it seems appropriate but donāt push hard if you arenāt getting similar feeback.
As cliche as it sounds, be yourself. If they donāt like you, any sort of interaction will be miserable to some extent.
Sadly, this is one of the few posts in a while Iāve actually tried to reply to helpfully rather than sarcastically. I was (and in a few ways, still definitely am) very socially uncomfortable for a long time.
You mean talk to them and treat them like normal people, thatās ground breaking!
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It only gets you past the first stage though, ie. a person who doesnāt outright disgust them (although that doesnāt automatically rule you out for some lol).
You still need to offer something beyond being civil.
Agreed, I feel this guy may be putting the pussy on a pedestal. First step is just being normal and being able to be yourself, itās hard to do that when you are treating attractive woman like aliens.
Dude just needs practice and not worry about rejection, better to do this whilst young.
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Or join a band. You can pretty much be a pig of a person and be treated like a God if youāre in a band, you donāt even need to be good or successful.
In high school, we did a fake video music video clip to a Machine Head song for a media project and it got played to most of the school. We got all this female attention for months even though we couldnāt play shit, it was clearly a backing track and we were clearly had no idea how to even pretend we were playingā¦ but even that was enough.
I also remember one of my brotherās friends, was about 35 and a washed up idiot who had nothing going for him. He was a terrible musician. Bump into him one night, he has a twenty year old under each arm, is drunk as anything and says he just finished a gig and wanted to know if we wanted to join the partyā¦ errr no thanks lol
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Thatās usually when I show them the d
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Just to add to this, I was in the same position at college. There was this girl that I was very attracted too, the thought of even talking to her made me panick. I struggled to think straight when she was around, she was 100% out of my league. We exchanged maybe a few little conversations at most despite being in the same class for 2 years.
5 years past and Iām out having a drink with a few friends, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and itās her, I was surprised she even remembered me. We got talking over a few drinks, I had a girlfriend and it turns out she was engaged now. We was having a laugh and a joke so I decided to confess to her that I was head over heels for her at college. She said āOh, why did you never speak to me? I felt the same about you back then but I assumed you didnāt like meā¦ā
I couldnāt believe it. Donāt be a pussy like I was and just ask.
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