Hot Sauce Mom...

Off Topic
101

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
I have to say that any punishments given out to me I got around. Any toy deprivations or no watching tv or whatever was easily got around when I got to go home by myself after school. I would just turn the tv off 30 mins or so before my mom got home. I never learned to not lie to my parents, heck, I still lie to my parents! The only person who spanked my was my babysitter who I went to every day from the time I was 5 months old until I was 12. She was also a big fan of putting kids in the corner. When spanking became “taboo” and considered child abuse she had to resort to time outs, which didn’t work. For some reason putting a kid in the corner was bad and also considered wrong. shrug Sitting a kid on the couch and not letting them play while everyone else around them plays is just not effective. They can still interact. They’re not being punished. If you’re going to insist on time outs being the preferred punishments then they need to be true time outs, like putting a kid in a corner where they can’t see what is going on and cannot continue to interact with their surroundings.

Also, I knew a lady whose daughter was put in a time out IN SCHOOL for 3 hours. For 3 hours she had to sit on the “isolation rug” and not move, not talk, not do anything. Why was she punished this way? For talking loudly and laughing! Now, putting a 5 year old in a 3 hour time out is wrong and cruel. This girl who could read by the time she went to kindergarten, left kindergarten with a reading disorder thanks to her teacher. Her learned skills quickly deteriorated until she answered all questions, even ones like “what is the color red?” with “I don’t know.” All because a TEACHER punished her severely with 3 hour time outs on a regular basis for being a regular kid who enjoyed herself.[/quote]

Right, so all punishment can be taken to the extreme and spanking is one punishment that can’t be “wiggled out of”.

102

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
I have to say that any punishments given out to me I got around. Any toy deprivations or no watching tv or whatever was easily got around when I got to go home by myself after school. I would just turn the tv off 30 mins or so before my mom got home. I never learned to not lie to my parents, heck, I still lie to my parents! The only person who spanked my was my babysitter who I went to every day from the time I was 5 months old until I was 12. She was also a big fan of putting kids in the corner. When spanking became “taboo” and considered child abuse she had to resort to time outs, which didn’t work. For some reason putting a kid in the corner was bad and also considered wrong. shrug Sitting a kid on the couch and not letting them play while everyone else around them plays is just not effective. They can still interact. They’re not being punished. If you’re going to insist on time outs being the preferred punishments then they need to be true time outs, like putting a kid in a corner where they can’t see what is going on and cannot continue to interact with their surroundings.

Also, I knew a lady whose daughter was put in a time out IN SCHOOL for 3 hours. For 3 hours she had to sit on the “isolation rug” and not move, not talk, not do anything. Why was she punished this way? For talking loudly and laughing! Now, putting a 5 year old in a 3 hour time out is wrong and cruel. This girl who could read by the time she went to kindergarten, left kindergarten with a reading disorder thanks to her teacher. Her learned skills quickly deteriorated until she answered all questions, even ones like “what is the color red?” with “I don’t know.” All because a TEACHER punished her severely with 3 hour time outs on a regular basis for being a regular kid who enjoyed herself.[/quote]

Right, so all punishment can be taken to the extreme and spanking is one punishment that can’t be “wiggled out of”.
[/quote]

Huh? I’m just saying what happened to me, that’s all. I’m not advocating spanking over other punishments. I’m just detailing my own experiences as a child. Personally, being put in the corner was worse than a swat on the butt. Besides, the swat on the butt always preceded being put in the corner. My mom didn’t hit me ever after the one time she spanked me and her hand print went through the diaper. She said it scared her so much she couldn’t bring herself to do that again.

103

[quote]cct wrote:
I just watched the video and I can say that I was a much worse child and that my parents have punished me 1000X more severely.[/quote]

So was the punishment ineffective? Or was it causal?

True Utopian societies.

104

[quote]Grneyes wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
I have to say that any punishments given out to me I got around. Any toy deprivations or no watching tv or whatever was easily got around when I got to go home by myself after school. I would just turn the tv off 30 mins or so before my mom got home. I never learned to not lie to my parents, heck, I still lie to my parents! The only person who spanked my was my babysitter who I went to every day from the time I was 5 months old until I was 12. She was also a big fan of putting kids in the corner. When spanking became “taboo” and considered child abuse she had to resort to time outs, which didn’t work. For some reason putting a kid in the corner was bad and also considered wrong. shrug Sitting a kid on the couch and not letting them play while everyone else around them plays is just not effective. They can still interact. They’re not being punished. If you’re going to insist on time outs being the preferred punishments then they need to be true time outs, like putting a kid in a corner where they can’t see what is going on and cannot continue to interact with their surroundings.

Also, I knew a lady whose daughter was put in a time out IN SCHOOL for 3 hours. For 3 hours she had to sit on the “isolation rug” and not move, not talk, not do anything. Why was she punished this way? For talking loudly and laughing! Now, putting a 5 year old in a 3 hour time out is wrong and cruel. This girl who could read by the time she went to kindergarten, left kindergarten with a reading disorder thanks to her teacher. Her learned skills quickly deteriorated until she answered all questions, even ones like “what is the color red?” with “I don’t know.” All because a TEACHER punished her severely with 3 hour time outs on a regular basis for being a regular kid who enjoyed herself.[/quote]

Right, so all punishment can be taken to the extreme and spanking is one punishment that can’t be “wiggled out of”.
[/quote]

Huh? I’m just saying what happened to me, that’s all. I’m not advocating spanking over other punishments. I’m just detailing my own experiences as a child. Personally, being put in the corner was worse than a swat on the butt. Besides, the swat on the butt always preceded being put in the corner. My mom didn’t hit me ever after the one time she spanked me and her hand print went through the diaper. She said it scared her so much she couldn’t bring herself to do that again.[/quote] I understand. That’s just what I saw in your post.

105

Im with you HoustonGuy, certain kids need stronger discipline than others. I needed that as a kid while my older brother did not. I still tried to walk all over my mom so she sent me to a hardass military school and I truly think it saved my ass, but I have plenty of buddies who still resent the shit out of their families for sending them there and hate any type of school because of that. I think that it really is an individual thing (parenting). Im only 20, so I have absolutely zero experience being a parent.

106

I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic.

107

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote] Feelings alone can be misleading. I don’t ever feel like playing cat and mouse with my most fucking annoying client but if I want his money, the goal of our relationship, I often must. I don’t always feel like squatting heavy but… You get my drift. Some times to get desired results you have to deny wayward emotion, in life and in parenting.

108

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote] Feelings alone can be misleading. I don’t ever feel like playing cat and mouse with my most fucking annoying client but if I want his money, the goal of our relationship, I often must. I don’t always feel like squatting heavy but… You get my drift. Some times to get desired results you have to deny wayward emotion, in life and in parenting.
[/quote]

Maybe.

I want to squat heavy though, I like when I can do it.

Maybe you need a new career where you will not have to chase. Some people enjoy those types of challenges.

You sound like you do things you don’t like doing.

You get my drift?

109

[quote]USMCpoolee wrote:
Im with you HoustonGuy, certain kids need stronger discipline than others. I needed that as a kid while my older brother did not. I still tried to walk all over my mom so she sent me to a hardass military school and I truly think it saved my ass, but I have plenty of buddies who still resent the shit out of their families for sending them there and hate any type of school because of that. I think that it really is an individual thing (parenting). Im only 20, so I have absolutely zero experience being a parent.[/quote]

You do realize that the above is conflicting. “I’m with you”! followed by it “worked for me” followed by your observations of multiple failures. And you’re only 20, yet you have been able to see so many failures…yet “I’m with you!”. Are you sure you thought this thru?

The bias effect is thick here. But it always is.

110

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote]

so are you saying all parents have spanked throughout the ages? as a routine?

111

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote] Feelings alone can be misleading. I don’t ever feel like playing cat and mouse with my most fucking annoying client but if I want his money, the goal of our relationship, I often must. I don’t always feel like squatting heavy but… You get my drift. Some times to get desired results you have to deny wayward emotion, in life and in parenting.
[/quote]

Wayward emotion? LOL! what is so “wayward” about questioning something that your gut might be telling you is just wrong.

and “squatting heavy”? you? surely you jest. don’t you mean “squatting relatively heavy for me?”

112

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote] Feelings alone can be misleading. I don’t ever feel like playing cat and mouse with my most fucking annoying client but if I want his money, the goal of our relationship, I often must. I don’t always feel like squatting heavy but… You get my drift. Some times to get desired results you have to deny wayward emotion, in life and in parenting.
[/quote]

Maybe.

I want to squat heavy though, I like when I can do it.

Maybe you need a new career where you will not have to chase. Some people enjoy those types of challenges.

You sound like you do things you don’t like doing.

You get my drift?
[/quote]

watch it.

you’re inviting a response that will include how big his paycheck is and how he has a “slightly larger than average cock”.

surely, those two things are signs of happiness and fulfillment.

113

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
You can teach values to children without hot sauce. All this does is make the kid want to grow up and shoot his mother in her sleep.[/quote]

Agreed! Kids always grow up…and saying that this is right in line with the spanking, belting, eating soap stuff…who the crap cares. This kid is going to grow up and either treat his kids worse or decide that there are better ways to teach kids how to own up to their mistakes. You can’t teach a child to change behavior through fear, that just means that when he gets older he’s going to hide stuff from his parents because he’s scared of the consequence, not sorry for his actions and then his parents won’t find out his issues until he’s in jail or dead.

114

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote] Feelings alone can be misleading. I don’t ever feel like playing cat and mouse with my most fucking annoying client but if I want his money, the goal of our relationship, I often must. I don’t always feel like squatting heavy but… You get my drift. Some times to get desired results you have to deny wayward emotion, in life and in parenting.
[/quote]

Maybe.

I want to squat heavy though, I like when I can do it.

Maybe you need a new career where you will not have to chase. Some people enjoy those types of challenges.

You sound like you do things you don’t like doing.

You get my drift?
[/quote]

I believe pleasing results are greater than pleasing methods. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy most of my clients. Great people, fun to interact with I like “chasing” new ones too and more accurately managing my sales guys to chase them at this point.

There is a distinction I should have made more clearly between this and the motherfucker I’m talking about. Some people just suck but, his agency brings mine a decent amount of money so I make the decision to keep him around, as the desired result outweighs the method of obtaining it. At the end of the day, I love owning a company, watching it grow and the sense of accomplishment that comes with seeing an idea to fruition regardless of challenges, including emotional. Nothing in life or business is 100% rosy, the ability to do what needs to be done, even when the time comes that you don’t feel like it, is what elevates people to a level that is greater than average in what ever goal they are achieving.

Same as squats. At the end of the day I love getting stronger, bigger, better looking… after I’m done with a genuinly tough session I’m a little proud, every time. But on the last few reps of the last set… I fucking hate the bar on my back. Maybe you like pain, not throwing barbs, but if you don’t hate those few seconds, you probably need to add weight to the bar.

I have hobbies to enjoy, even then there are aspects of my hobbies that suck. Example, I have a boat and go offshore fishing often. I absolutely love it. It’s my favorite thing in the world to be 50-70 miles offshore with my buddies, a cooler full of beer and fish as long as I am tall on the line. I do not like cleaning the boat. The deck is usually bloody and slimy, the cooler (fish cooler) for sure, the salt and has to be scrubbed… but it has to be done.

In context, I love my son. I love spending time with him, getting to know his thoughts, his essence if you will, helping to develop his natural desires and talents… everything about him. I do not like punishing him, whether it’s a time out or a spanking, ever. But if I don’t he will be one troublesome kid and a disadvantged adult, so it has to be done. And I believe spanking to be effective so…

Still riding my drift? :wink:

115

Prosecution is pretty harsh IMHO (maybe a caution at most).

116

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote]

so are you saying all parents have spanked throughout the ages? as a routine?[/quote]

Ages? What ages?
Are you saying being hit by a parent is new?
Routine? definition: a standard procedure.
We could also say tool box, arsenal, bag o’ tricks, repertoire, there are probably more.

117

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote] Feelings alone can be misleading. I don’t ever feel like playing cat and mouse with my most fucking annoying client but if I want his money, the goal of our relationship, I often must. I don’t always feel like squatting heavy but… You get my drift. Some times to get desired results you have to deny wayward emotion, in life and in parenting.
[/quote]

Maybe.

I want to squat heavy though, I like when I can do it.

Maybe you need a new career where you will not have to chase. Some people enjoy those types of challenges.

You sound like you do things you don’t like doing.

You get my drift?
[/quote]

I believe pleasing results are greater than pleasing methods. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy most of my clients. Great people, fun to interact with I like “chasing” new ones too and more accurately managing my sales guys to chase them at this point.

There is a distinction I should have made more clearly between this and the motherfucker I’m talking about. Some people just suck but, his agency brings mine a decent amount of money so I make the decision to keep him around, as the desired result outweighs the method of obtaining it. At the end of the day, I love owning a company, watching it grow and the sense of accomplishment that comes with seeing an idea to fruition regardless of challenges, including emotional. Nothing in life or business is 100% rosy, the ability to do what needs to be done, even when the time comes that you don’t feel like it, is what elevates people to a level that is greater than average in what ever goal they are achieving.

Same as squats. At the end of the day I love getting stronger, bigger, better looking… after I’m done with a genuinly tough session I’m a little proud, every time. But on the last few reps of the last set… I fucking hate the bar on my back. Maybe you like pain, not throwing barbs, but if you don’t hate those few seconds, you probably need to add weight to the bar.

I have hobbies to enjoy, even then there are aspects of my hobbies that suck. Example, I have a boat and go offshore fishing often. I absolutely love it. It’s my favorite thing in the world to be 50-70 miles offshore with my buddies, a cooler full of beer and fish as long as I am tall on the line. I do not like cleaning the boat. The deck is usually bloody and slimy, the cooler (fish cooler) for sure, the salt and has to be scrubbed… but it has to be done.

In context, I love my son. I love spending time with him, getting to know his thoughts, his essence if you will, helping to develop his natural desires and talents… everything about him. I do not like punishing him, whether it’s a time out or a spanking, ever. But if I don’t he will be one troublesome kid and a disadvantged adult, so it has to be done. And I believe spanking to be effective so…

Still riding my drift? ;)[/quote]

I’m not suggesting that you don’t love your son but if punishing him upsets you so much that you cry or feel like crying(that was you who mentioned it?) maybe this is an indicator that it is not a good method.

My squat numbers are meh, just starting back after a long break and I’m excited about the weight going up, but I would say it is more fear than pain.

You also never mentioned your job, squatting, or hobbies making you feel like you did when you cried after spanking your son.

I’m not trying to tell you how to parent but … just not understanding the defense of spanking when it gets such a reaction from you, I guess.

118

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:

[quote]HoustonGuy wrote:

[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
I think the problem with saying which is effective and which is not is that the parenting style of not hitting has not been used as long as the spanking method so we don’t have enough info.

Why can’t spanking be eliminated from your parenting routine if it makes you (the parent) feel so bad to do it? Why is this not a good enough indicator that it shouldn’t be used?

~disclaimer~ Not a parent just interested in the topic. [/quote] Feelings alone can be misleading. I don’t ever feel like playing cat and mouse with my most fucking annoying client but if I want his money, the goal of our relationship, I often must. I don’t always feel like squatting heavy but… You get my drift. Some times to get desired results you have to deny wayward emotion, in life and in parenting.
[/quote]

Maybe.

I want to squat heavy though, I like when I can do it.

Maybe you need a new career where you will not have to chase. Some people enjoy those types of challenges.

You sound like you do things you don’t like doing.

You get my drift?
[/quote]

I believe pleasing results are greater than pleasing methods. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy most of my clients. Great people, fun to interact with I like “chasing” new ones too and more accurately managing my sales guys to chase them at this point.

There is a distinction I should have made more clearly between this and the motherfucker I’m talking about. Some people just suck but, his agency brings mine a decent amount of money so I make the decision to keep him around, as the desired result outweighs the method of obtaining it. At the end of the day, I love owning a company, watching it grow and the sense of accomplishment that comes with seeing an idea to fruition regardless of challenges, including emotional. Nothing in life or business is 100% rosy, the ability to do what needs to be done, even when the time comes that you don’t feel like it, is what elevates people to a level that is greater than average in what ever goal they are achieving.

Same as squats. At the end of the day I love getting stronger, bigger, better looking… after I’m done with a genuinly tough session I’m a little proud, every time. But on the last few reps of the last set… I fucking hate the bar on my back. Maybe you like pain, not throwing barbs, but if you don’t hate those few seconds, you probably need to add weight to the bar.

I have hobbies to enjoy, even then there are aspects of my hobbies that suck. Example, I have a boat and go offshore fishing often. I absolutely love it. It’s my favorite thing in the world to be 50-70 miles offshore with my buddies, a cooler full of beer and fish as long as I am tall on the line. I do not like cleaning the boat. The deck is usually bloody and slimy, the cooler (fish cooler) for sure, the salt and has to be scrubbed… but it has to be done.

In context, I love my son. I love spending time with him, getting to know his thoughts, his essence if you will, helping to develop his natural desires and talents… everything about him. I do not like punishing him, whether it’s a time out or a spanking, ever. But if I don’t he will be one troublesome kid and a disadvantged adult, so it has to be done. And I believe spanking to be effective so…

Still riding my drift? ;)[/quote]

I’m not suggesting that you don’t love your son but if punishing him upsets you so much that you cry or feel like crying(that was you who mentioned it?) maybe this is an indicator that it is not a good method.

My squat numbers are meh, just starting back after a long break and I’m excited about the weight going up, but I would say it is more fear than pain.

You also never mentioned your job, squatting, or hobbies making you feel like you did when you cried after spanking your son.

I’m not trying to tell you how to parent but … just not understanding the defense of spanking when it gets such a reaction from you, I guess.
[/quote] Right, the one time I spanked him purely out of frustration I was very upset with myself. I don’t spank out of anger any more, it was over my line. Spanking as a method of punishment, rather than a release of anger as discussed, is different.