Ah, liberals. Rejoice! Today is your day. Today the evil Republicans will get booted from their respective offices for helping to get the economy on track, waging a fantastically successful war on terror (zero American civilians killed on U.S. soil since 9/11/01), and doing all that they can to track down and bring to justice those who would kill us.
Liberal Democrats will be swept into office because they have successfully bitched, cried, whined and criticized the Republicans since about 3 minutes after the Towers fell and the Pentagon got blown up (That is, if they’ll even admit that these events happened or were not committed by Bushitler and Cheney!).
I wonder if some non-liberal “newscaster” from the non-liberal media will call THIS ouster of one party from power ‘a temper tantrum’ as Peter Jennings did the '94 boot given to the Democrats? Nah! Because, well, this is they way things SHOULD be, right?
But, conservatives, don’t fret! Remember how much fun it is to sit back and watch as the liberals make asses of themselves? Sure. Sure. I know. The stakes have changed and now they’ll probably get a bunch of Americans killed with their foreign policy of appeasement. Make them like us! That works!
Let’s face it. If we’d have followed their advice we’d be combating a larger, more powerful, better armed version of the USSR as well as a fully armed North Korea and Muslim terrorists. Iran would probably be a world power by now. They wouldn’t have needed to try and BUILD nukes. President’s Dukakis, Clinton and Kerry would have just given them ours! Hell, we don’t need 'em any more!
Of course, Israel would be destroyed and all it’s citizens killed by blood-thirsty Arabs. So we’d have THAT going for us. Who needs Jews, right? They way they mistreat those poor Palestinians. Can we give Arafat the Peace Prize most mortem? Alright. Just give Carter another one for saying Bush is a killer.
Try to remember the good old days of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky and Missiles blowing up in the desert, fighters left on the tarmac waiting for orders while Bill got a blow-job. It’ll be fun!
The only problem I see is that this a time for serious people. Grown-ups. We can’t just laugh at Nancy Pelosi and her liberal hoard. These days, their “policies” will get a lot of people killed. On a lesser note, there will also be a lot less money in my wallet. Liberals have no PLAN. Never have. They just know they need a LOT of money for, well, they just need a lot of money. The only thing they can tell you is that it’s not for defense.
So we’ll get rid of Gitmo. Shit, let the Cubans have the whole Island. Maybe they can give Al Queda a good home after we pull out of Iraq. We’ll leave all the weapons for you. Kim Jong Il can show you how to use them. Carter and Clinton left him the keys to the nukes, so he’s the man to see.
So let gays get married and increase taxes so we can pump more money into our failing schools. Don’t bother to ask if the degeneration of our families and society in general may be the cause. That might hurt someone’s feelings. Nah! MORE MONEY! Higher taxes! That’ll fix it! And the military? Mothball it! We don’t need it. We’re gonna make everyone like us again! Shit! Let’s give the French and Canadians the right to vote in our elections!
Liberals have big ideas! Let’s just hope we don’t all end up broke or dead before America remembers what these people are all about.
On the bright side - The liberals performance over the next two years all but guarantees us that the Republicans will win the White House again in 2008.
