High Expectations

Off Topic
101

Pressure is entirely internal. Constantly thinking about what you want to achieve and plan to will not effect the course of time. Regulate the pressure.

I myself have a problem with this type of thing because of my expectations. I get constant shit from people for my generalized high expectations of them and the extreme expectations I have for myself. If you’re not THE BEST, you suck. It’s the mentality I’ve developed from schoolwork, sports, and lifting. I don’t necessarily enjoy it but it is what it is. It’s most likely a mixture of youth, arrogance, and ambition.

But I digress because although there’s a lot a man can accomplish, he can never be Marius Isaac Albert Hawking no matter how hard he tries. THAT is expecting too much.

Also, for me (21), the hardest part of the first two years of uni was adjusting to the financial expectations from my parents, and friends diverging. It was rather depressing to know how different your life really is. I don’t know for sure yet, but IMO if you can get through it, you’ll know what to expect down the road and how to handle it.

102

[quote]Kakarat wrote:
Pressure is entirely internal. Constantly thinking about what you want to achieve and plan to will not effect the course of time. Regulate the pressure.

I myself have a problem with this type of thing because of my expectations. I get constant shit from people for my generalized high expectations of them and the extreme expectations I have for myself. If you’re not THE BEST, you suck. It’s the mentality I’ve developed from schoolwork, sports, and lifting. I don’t necessarily enjoy it but it is what it is. It’s most likely a mixture of youth, arrogance, and ambition.

But I digress because although there’s a lot a man can accomplish, he can never be Marius Isaac Albert Hawking no matter how hard he tries. THAT is expecting too much.

Also, for me (21), the hardest part of the first two years of uni was adjusting to the financial expectations from my parents, and friends diverging. It was rather depressing to know how different your life really is. I don’t know for sure yet, but IMO if you can get through it, you’ll know what to expect down the road and how to handle it. [/quote]

If I could be a Super Sayien my life would be complete and forking epic.

And in all seriousness just drop the pressure and don’t place expectations, just go with what feels right and let the results happen on their own through you. If you put all of your attention into NOW it will take care of itself and with no worry about the future which creates a huge gap of anxiety in the mind.

103

[quote]Kakarat wrote:
Pressure is entirely internal. Constantly thinking about what you want to achieve and plan to will not effect the course of time. Regulate the pressure.[/quote]
Right. My vision and drive has regained their positive charge.

[quote]
I myself have a problem with this type of thing because of my expectations. I get constant shit from people for my generalized high expectations of them and the extreme expectations I have for myself. If you’re not THE BEST, you suck. It’s the mentality I’ve developed from schoolwork, sports, and lifting. I don’t necessarily enjoy it but it is what it is. It’s most likely a mixture of youth, arrogance, and ambition.[/quote]
I’m not this extreme. I rarely judge others. Only myself.

[quote]
But I digress because although there’s a lot a man can accomplish, he can never be Marius Isaac Albert Hawking no matter how hard he tries. THAT is expecting too much.[/quote]
I’m content in my own skin. I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I just want be the most awesome form of myself.

[quote]
Also, for me (21), the hardest part of the first two years of uni was adjusting to the financial expectations from my parents, and friends diverging. It was rather depressing to know how different your life really is. I don’t know for sure yet, but IMO if you can get through it, you’ll know what to expect down the road and how to handle it. [/quote]
I’ve actually enjoyed the change in terms of its transformative values. I welcome it. I’ll leave my proving ground triumphant.

104

I had the same feelings most of my life until I finished undergrad and starting working full time (career work, job work doesn’t count). I’ll be starting school again part time and am looking forward to it. I didn’t anticipate it, but being able to apply my knowledge and have an impact with it makes a big difference in my daily motivation.

On the other hand, my BFF bounced from major and career for a long time, and now is starting his PhD at freaking Yale. He’s perfectly content with being in school until he’s close to 30. His parents give him lots of spending money, which makes a difference in his lifestyle and freedom. You don’t have that luxury so much, so maybe the realities of your loans or whatever are weighing on you.

Regardless, do what you want to do and always remember it was your choice, so you better enjoy it truly. Don’t be one of those guys who thinks life will start at point A when their income is 100k or at point B when they’re married.

105

[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I feel I should be much further along in life by now. It’s hard not to be envious of the success of my friends when I feel so stagnant. [/quote]

Man Spar, I’m right there with you. I am pre med and before taking my MCATS I was very confident that I was going to get into med school because of how well my GPA was and I graduated magna cum laude from my school (which has its own medical school). Even during my MCAT prep, I was very confident that I was still going to get in due to me scoring 33-35’s on my MCAT (stupid verbal brings it down). All that confidence basically went down the drain when I took my MCAT the summer of my junior year. I straight up had an anxiety attack during, which has never happens to me, and ended up only with a 29. BEcause I scored lower then i knew i could, I took a very long time in deciding whether I should apply last year, or take re-take my MCATS in Sept and take a year off. Unfortunately, I decided to apply to med school late and really hurt my chances of getting in. I just graduated a month ago, and have been studying for my MCAT which is a week away. I have no idea what I am going to do for my GAP year. I was thinking about doing a Masters program, but that probably went down the drain when I found out my professor sent her letter of recommendation waay to late. My life literally went from great to shit just because of one test.

What’s been driving me crazy is that there are two kids I know, who got into my universities medical school, even though I know they’re not as motivated as I am. My university didn’t even give me a fucking interview. And there’s other kids I know who’s a filthy rich brat and is only in medical school because she was in the pre medical program and basically “cheated” the system. That kid had to pay for a private tutor for her freaking MCAT… does she really deserve to be in their…

It’s also annoying seeing my business friends who have done absolutely no internships, no jobs, no volunteer work throughout their undergrad. They graduated with 3.3 GPA’s, and they ALL got jobs and are basically enjoying life now.

Even though it annoys me seeing the success of my peers, I know that WHEN i get into medical school and finally become a physician, it will be all my peers who will be jealous of me and my success. a lot of time, more effort = more success.

That’s how you got to look at it, Sure your friends have success now, but how will their success change 10 years from now… I bet me and you could easily get 9-5 jobs once we graduate, which is usually the final destination for most… Is that really what you want?

EDIT: Yeah bitch, im venting lol

106

Not sure if this was mentioned somewhere, but what success do you want to have now… you’re still an undergraduate right?

I know you enjoy sciences, but what are you looking to get into?

107

[quote]illadelphia91 wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I feel I should be much further along in life by now. It’s hard not to be envious of the success of my friends when I feel so stagnant. [/quote]

Man Spar, I’m right there with you. I am pre med and before taking my MCATS I was very confident that I was going to get into med school because of how well my GPA was and I graduated magna cum laude from my school (which has its own medical school). Even during my MCAT prep, I was very confident that I was still going to get in due to me scoring 33-35’s on my MCAT (stupid verbal brings it down). All that confidence basically went down the drain when I took my MCAT the summer of my junior year. I straight up had an anxiety attack during, which has never happens to me, and ended up only with a 29. BEcause I scored lower then i knew i could, I took a very long time in deciding whether I should apply last year, or take re-take my MCATS in Sept and take a year off. Unfortunately, I decided to apply to med school late and really hurt my chances of getting in. I just graduated a month ago, and have been studying for my MCAT which is a week away. I have no idea what I am going to do for my GAP year. I was thinking about doing a Masters program, but that probably went down the drain when I found out my professor sent her letter of recommendation waay to late. My life literally went from great to shit just because of one test.

What’s been driving me crazy is that there are two kids I know, who got into my universities medical school, even though I know they’re not as motivated as I am. My university didn’t even give me a fucking interview. And there’s other kids I know who’s a filthy rich brat and is only in medical school because she was in the pre medical program and basically “cheated” the system. That kid had to pay for a private tutor for her freaking MCAT… does she really deserve to be in their…

It’s also annoying seeing my business friends who have done absolutely no internships, no jobs, no volunteer work throughout their undergrad. They graduated with 3.3 GPA’s, and they ALL got jobs and are basically enjoying life now.

Even though it annoys me seeing the success of my peers, I know that WHEN i get into medical school and finally become a physician, it will be all my peers who will be jealous of me and my success. a lot of time, more effort = more success.

That’s how you got to look at it, Sure your friends have success now, but how will their success change 10 years from now… I bet me and you could easily get 9-5 jobs once we graduate, which is usually the final destination for most… Is that really what you want?

EDIT: Yeah bitch, im venting lol

[/quote]
lolol I understand your grievances. You’ll pull through just fine. I can tell.

108

[quote]browndisaster wrote:
I had the same feelings most of my life until I finished undergrad and starting working full time (career work, job work doesn’t count). I’ll be starting school again part time and am looking forward to it. I didn’t anticipate it, but being able to apply my knowledge and have an impact with it makes a big difference in my daily motivation.

On the other hand, my BFF bounced from major and career for a long time, and now is starting his PhD at freaking Yale. He’s perfectly content with being in school until he’s close to 30. His parents give him lots of spending money, which makes a difference in his lifestyle and freedom. You don’t have that luxury so much, so maybe the realities of your loans or whatever are weighing on you.

Regardless, do what you want to do and always remember it was your choice, so you better enjoy it truly. Don’t be one of those guys who thinks life will start at point A when their income is 100k or at point B when they’re married.[/quote]
I agree. Being able to leave earmarks in the world is a grand feeling. I enjoy it. It revitalizes me.

I’ve gotten over a lot of things recently, and I realize that my life is actually pretty sweet. I’m not concerned about my debt. I know I’ll pay it out off handily in due time. Funny thing about Yale lol…

Most certainly. It’s not in my nature to do otherwise.

109

[quote]illadelphia91 wrote:
Not sure if this was mentioned somewhere, but what success do you want to have now… you’re still an undergraduate right?

I know you enjoy sciences, but what are you looking to get into?[/quote]
Yeah I’m still an undergrad.

There’s a lot I want to do. It’s hard to look at one particular and say with absolute conviction that I’ll do that and nothing else. That’s why I want to experience work in those fields so I better gauge the variables and dissolve any dissonance between reality and my fantasies and estimations. I’d like to explore defense technology for one and what it would entail. I like various fields of theoretical and experimental physics, but I don’t know if I’m down with all the research and academia or not. I like robotics and energy systems. I also like zoology. The list goes on. There are so many different ways I can go. It’s like I know what I want to do, but at the same time, I can’t commit to one idea. I can’t be very specific as of yet. There’s also the matter of entrepreneurial and creative endeavors. I want to compose music, create cinematics and stories, etc.

110

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]illadelphia91 wrote:
Not sure if this was mentioned somewhere, but what success do you want to have now… you’re still an undergraduate right?

I know you enjoy sciences, but what are you looking to get into?[/quote]
Yeah I’m still an undergrad.

There’s a lot I want to do. It’s hard to look at one particular and say with absolute conviction that I’ll do that and nothing else. That’s why I want to experience work in those fields so I better gauge the variables and dissolve any dissonance between reality and my fantasies and estimations. I’d like to explore defense technology for one and what it would entail. I like various fields of theoretical and experimental physics, but I don’t know if I’m down with all the research and academia or not. I like robotics and energy systems. I also like zoology. The list goes on. There are so many different ways I can go. It’s like I know what I want to do, but at the same time, I can’t commit to one idea. I can’t be very specific as of yet. There’s also the matter of entrepreneurial and creative endeavors. I want to compose music, create cinematics and stories, etc.[/quote]

I get what your frustration is, IMO 4 years of college just isn’t enough time for someone to truly realize what field is right for them. I was lucky and knew medicine (or any health related field) is what I wanted to do ;). I think high schools really need to take the initiative and show students what careers are out there and what careers truly involve. You just gotta be patient man (life is long lol), judging based on what you’ve been saying, you seem motivated and are actually taking an effort to find the career that’s right for you instead of letting the career come to you.

111

[quote]illadelphia91 wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]illadelphia91 wrote:
Not sure if this was mentioned somewhere, but what success do you want to have now… you’re still an undergraduate right?

I know you enjoy sciences, but what are you looking to get into?[/quote]
Yeah I’m still an undergrad.

There’s a lot I want to do. It’s hard to look at one particular and say with absolute conviction that I’ll do that and nothing else. That’s why I want to experience work in those fields so I better gauge the variables and dissolve any dissonance between reality and my fantasies and estimations. I’d like to explore defense technology for one and what it would entail. I like various fields of theoretical and experimental physics, but I don’t know if I’m down with all the research and academia or not. I like robotics and energy systems. I also like zoology. The list goes on. There are so many different ways I can go. It’s like I know what I want to do, but at the same time, I can’t commit to one idea. I can’t be very specific as of yet. There’s also the matter of entrepreneurial and creative endeavors. I want to compose music, create cinematics and stories, etc.[/quote]

I get what your frustration is, IMO 4 years of college just isn’t enough time for someone to truly realize what field is right for them. I was lucky and knew medicine (or any health related field) is what I wanted to do ;). I think high schools really need to take the initiative and show students what careers are out there and what careers truly involve. You just gotta be patient man (life is long lol), judging based on what you’ve been saying, you seem motivated and are actually taking an effort to find the career that’s right for you instead of letting the career come to you. [/quote]

It’s more fun than frustrating to be perfectly honest. What I get frustrated with all the resistance when I try to test. Feels like I have to beat the bigger opportunities out of people. I’m definitely trying. I don’t like being steeped in abject ignorance. I have a few certainties, but I want something to manifest. I want to see it right in front of me. Due time though. Due time. I can wait. I’m always looking for ways to build myself up.

112

I just graduated with a degree in Acct/MIS and I had a average GPA 3.0. The Job hunt(particularly career hunt) sucks Ballz.

114

[quote]Chushin wrote:
Ah, youth…[/quote]
Too much talking?

116

[quote]optheta wrote:
I just graduated with a degree in Acct/MIS and I had a average GPA 3.0. The Job hunt(particularly career hunt) sucks Ballz.[/quote]
Still wondering if you lift.

117

[quote]spar4tee wrote:
I’d like to discuss the merit of having high expectations as pertains to perpetual advancement. I can’t really enjoy things I normally do anymore unless I feel that I’m making something of myself. I feel angry, disappointed, and frustrated with my current progress. I have this relentless hunger that isn’t being satiated. My needs as a man aren’t being met, and frankly, I don’t feel very manly as a result. This purpose of this thread is to engage in intimate discussion on the matters of growing up and obtaining the future you envision for yourself.[/quote]

I went through a very similar stretch a few years ago. Just for background I’m 27. At 18 I join the USMC straight out of high school and not to sound arrogant, but I did very well. It suited me. I decided to get out (still something I struggle with) and pursue other things. It took me a couple of years to really adjust. University was a joke (degree in accounting). The “work” was not work and I never felt challenged. I missed the Corps. a lot. My training suffered and I was in a funk bad. Not depression, but just not myself.

Eventually I just got back to my roots. I started enjoying the moment more than worrying about the future. Started training for the “fun” of it again. Probably most importantly I accepted that I’m where I am because of the choices I’ve made and I will get to where I want to be when I get there. No amount of internal stress will change that. At 27 I’m basically 6 months into what I think (still don’t know) could be my career path. Most of my peers are 5-6 years into their careers and have multiple degrees. It’s a game of catch-up, but that can be fun too. Its motivation to keep on keeping on so to speak. I will outperform my peers, period.

Life is full of change, you have to embrace it or it will steamroll you.

118

[quote]illadelphia91 wrote:
And there’s other kids I know who’s a filthy rich brat and is only in medical school because she was in the pre medical program and basically “cheated” the system. That kid had to pay for a private tutor for her freaking MCAT… does she really deserve to be in there… [/quote]

This right here.

If you don’t learn the system (any system, all systems, whatever), you’ll pretty much always get passed up by the people who cheat the system.

My advice:
Learn the system(s).
Learn to cheat the system.
ALSO be really good at what you do.

I got screwed over a number of times because I didn’t play the system right. It took awhile before I learned that lesson.

Plus, make sure you’re clear where you draw your lines. There’s a huge difference between making yourself look good by disguising your faults, and making yourself good by smearing others. You can play a system without violating moral/ethical code.

When you’ve figured out the system AND you’re really good at what you do, you can accomplish a lot, have a lot of influence, and make something of a difference not just in your actions, but in the directions/trends you set.

EDIT: I’m not saying you should cheat the system. I’m just saying you should know how to.

119

[quote]spar4tee wrote:
It’s like I know what I want to do, but at the same time, I can’t commit to one idea. I can’t be very specific as of yet. There’s also the matter of entrepreneurial and creative endeavors. I want to compose music, create cinematics and stories, etc.[/quote]

I recommend sticking to one until you’ve accomplished what you want out of it, then moving forward with the next. You can always come back. Dabbling is fun, but at the end of the day, it turns out to really not be that satisfying.

But don’t paralyze yourself by worrying about picking the wrong one first.

Once you have some bigger accomplishments, you can then capitalize on them in the future and use them to set yourself up for the next thing you want to do. Even if you flop at the new thing, you can still fall back on those previous accomplishments and go do something else.

Probably my biggest frustration is actually achieving my goals and then wondering “what’s next?”. The nice thing about many jobs though is that you can just sort of coast in that state for awhile, just doing what’s asked of you… at least after you’ve accomplished a few notable, significant things.

Of course, in life right now, I’m not sure what to do next, and it’s wearing on me. I feel like the term “has been” applies a bit.

And this whole “be happy with just being”, I’m struggling with that. When a whole bunch of things can be improved, and I know I can improve them, and I realize that I’m not doing anything about it… it feels bad.

But what I can say for sure is it’s very very valuable to stop the dabbling and actually accomplish a few things.

120

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:

[quote]Kakarat wrote:
Pressure is entirely internal. Constantly thinking about what you want to achieve and plan to will not effect the course of time. Regulate the pressure.

I myself have a problem with this type of thing because of my expectations. I get constant shit from people for my generalized high expectations of them and the extreme expectations I have for myself. If you’re not THE BEST, you suck. It’s the mentality I’ve developed from schoolwork, sports, and lifting. I don’t necessarily enjoy it but it is what it is. It’s most likely a mixture of youth, arrogance, and ambition.

But I digress because although there’s a lot a man can accomplish, he can never be Marius Isaac Albert Hawking no matter how hard he tries. THAT is expecting too much.

Also, for me (21), the hardest part of the first two years of uni was adjusting to the financial expectations from my parents, and friends diverging. It was rather depressing to know how different your life really is. I don’t know for sure yet, but IMO if you can get through it, you’ll know what to expect down the road and how to handle it. [/quote]

If I could be a Super Sayien my life would be complete and forking epic.

And in all seriousness just drop the pressure and don’t place expectations, just go with what feels right and let the results happen on their own through you. If you put all of your attention into NOW it will take care of itself and with no worry about the future which creates a huge gap of anxiety in the mind. [/quote]

I’ve been working on it a lot; alleviating pressure and being in the now.

And speaking of Super Saiyans, has anyone actually seen the new DBZ movie? Where? I can’t find a link or torrent or anything. I can only find the same damn scene played continuously.