One and a half years old. Second one is due in August. Aim is three children.
Congrats! Got a 3 and a 2 year old. Was just curious if your kids were anywhere near marriage age.
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You know a thread has taken on a life of its own when people start negotiating the arranged marriage of their children … hahaha
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hey has anyone here ever beta orbited a girl?
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Congrats to you too!
Yep, in HS I did, was ‘dating’ other girls on the side, but ‘beta orbited’ one girl in particular that I wanted at the time.
850 posts later, and i still don’t know what this means.
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I’m picturing a dude literally circling around a pretty girl trying to get her attention as she walks down the street. Kinda like a puppy.
I have, a long time ago.
Now back to the real discussion
I think what I did when I was in the 7th and 8th grade qualifies as beta orbitting. There were a few girls that I was friends with, and I was invited out with them to a lot of things like movies,dinner, stuff like that. Basically I was the only guy at these things. I dated none of them, and would have totally dated any of them if I could have, they were all attractive. I was totally shut down the couple times I had the courage to ask any of them out. In the form of ‘awwwwww, I just like you as a friend, Charlie! You’re so sweet though!’ So that would put me back in my place, and I would continue to orbit.
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Yep, this is what I think of as ‘beta orbiting’ as well, and pretty much exactly what I did, ha, listen to the girl vent (about other guys), do things with her as a friend, attempt to flirt and hit on her, get the, “oh, you’re so sweet!” and go back to my place hahaha
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I need a space-based term for the thing I did where I knew a girl liked me and I spent a semester trying to convince myself she was attractive before eventually abandoning course.
“Scrub the launch” perhaps?
I imagine this is like astronauts trying to convince themselves that the freeze dried space-food they have to eat actually tastes like food. I don’t know what you’d call this though.
“Getting all the Tang you want”?
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I think divorce rates are where they are now because people always see the grass on the other side greener, plus any old ex bf or someone you used to like is just a click away now.
ain’t this the truth.
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Hey, while you are replying to me again, you mind answering that quesiton I asked you about if you think you are hanging out with more 40 year olds now that you are closer to 40 than you did when you were closer to 20?
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I didn’t reply to you because you gave me fucking anxiety saying I was closer to 40 now… asshole!
But to answer you ya I still don’t hang out with any 40 year olds. I think the oldest woman I ever slept with was 38 or 39 when I was barely 30.
Sure. My husband and I joke about it all the time re: our daughters, because we think (and the daughters don’t even disagree) that we could do a better job than either of them have done to date. Mainly the advantage would come in that we would be better at vetting the candidates, and we also would not be influenced by a sexual attraction which may or may not be enduring.
What I envision is an online dating thing with all three of us involved. We’re still in the joking stage though. Extended family members were horrified when it came up at Christmas. We’ll see!
One of my sons is actually involved with a girl who is expected to marry within her community. It’s a desperate and terrible situation for all concerned because shunning is the anticipated outcome if she balks, and…they’re involved. She’s in college, which gives the freedom to sneak, and…she is. They’ve broken up a couple of times because it just doesn’t make sense, the stakes are too high for her, but keep deciding to hang out “one more time.” I’ve met her briefly - they work together - and we’re expecting to actually have dinner with her in a couple of weeks. I’m worried about my kid, and I’m worried about the kid he’s involved with. #flipsideofarrangedmarriages
Exactly. I was married for 23 years. Long time! I was committed as all fuck. Really, really committed. A big marriage believer, me. And I wish often that I’d come out much sooner, for the sake of all of us. I really didn’t realize how tense my home was until my ex-husband took a job out of state and I stayed behind with the house and kids, and all of a sudden could breathe. No one swearing and yelling over nothing from another room - the white noise of my children’s childhoods.
At 22 years in, people would have considered us successful. We were not. No sex, no shared friends (I had them at work), no joy. I lived inside his depression.
Arranged marriage would not have worked for me. My parents couldn’t even bother to finish raising me, there was little likelihood that they would muster the energy to ensure my safe, loving future. Which is why I wound up in a poor marriage. I was a kid with limitations when it came to making good decisions.
There are a lot of those kids, most without my innate advantages (bright, well read, educated family, good with people). In a hyper-traditional society these less-innately-advantaged girls are the ones sold to creepy old men.
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I find the idea that people are capable of choosing an appropriate partner for their children doesn’t mesh well with my observations that many people are really, really bad at doing what’s best for their children, and also really really bad at picking appropriate partners for themselves.
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