Thanks for the post, as I’m the one who brought it up. Just to clarify, I don’t think every divorced man is a saint. I was speaking primarily about the divorce system.
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I’ve heard many horror stories. Just wanted to point out that not every case can be explained by an inequitable or misandrist divorce system.
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I don’t want to just come to the defense of a guy I do not know but, are we just supposed to believe the ex wife’s brother? I am sure the divorce was a breeze and she was a saint.
To say he killed himself because of a bruised ego is pretty rough.
They didn’t even reach the stage of divorce. No papers were filed. He got the kids as often as he wanted, and she didn’t seek ANY financial support from him. When she’d drop the kids off at his place, she’d drop off groceries for both the kids and him, because she knew he wasn’t used to doing the grocery shopping and she didn’t want anyone going without food. He was running around on dating apps while making threatening comments about what would happen if she started dating someone else (which she never did). You tell me which of those people sounds like the “saint”.
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He never complained about “losing his family” or not seeing his kids, but told everyone who would listen that he was afraid of looking like a failure due to the divorce. He killed himself while on the phone with my sister during an argument about some bullshit lie he could no longer talk himself out of. Didn’t leave a note for his kids or make sure his life insurance policy was squared away.
The guy was family for nearly a decade and I spent a lot of time caring about him and giving him the benefit of the doubt. But there’s no denying that his suicide was the last selfish act of a chump who couldn’t handle the thought of other people realizing he was a fuck up.
Edit: So… I’m realizing that I may not have fully processed my anger over this yet. Haha. Sorry for getting heated.
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I feel for his children.
I don’t feel sorry for him or his selfish decision.
When you have children depending on you - there is no excuse. I can be hated on for this, but I don’t care. That is a fucking coward and selfish piece of shit.
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It might not square with the narrative but it fits pretty well with my observations.
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100%. It sucks, because I did love the guy at one point. But looking at his body during his funeral, all I could feel was contempt. Way to prove everyone who thought you were a selfish loser right.
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Children did not ask to be here.
And I am not saying I am the best or greatest dad in the world or that I don’t make mistakes.
But, I am damn sure going to do everything in my power to be there for them and guide them and just love them for as long as I can. I would tear myself and everything / one around me apart for them with zero remorse and without a second thought.
I really don’t understand how anyone can hold a baby of theirs and not have these same thoughts.
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I don’t have children yet, but my wife and I have had conversations about what would happen if one of us passed away. I told her I’d want to commit suicide but I’d have to wait until our two cats were gone, because I couldn’t stomach them losing both of us and ending up at the pound.
That sounds like a joke, but it’s not. When you sign up for taking care of someone or something that can’t take care of themselves, that’s not a job you to get clock out early from. That’s the most basic and obvious thing in the world to me, and I don’t have any respect for people who don’t seem to understand it.
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I don’t either.
As a man if you don’t take care of your children, you are worthless and lower than pond scum. I rank you down barely above pedophiles.
I don’t care what is ailing you, if people or the mother have treated your poorly, or what you are going through mentally. You be a man and take care of your children.
The end.
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I agree, with the caveat that I think your statements apply equally to women. People need to take care of their kids.
I fully agree, but I put more emphasis on men.
They are more often the ones backing out of that responsibility from my experience.
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I actually came to the black-pilled fact that a chunk of men do not give a damn about their offspring, like literally couldn’t care less.
I know two men (not friends, and never will be friends) who have daughters from flings and are not involved in their lives one bit. When I found this out about them, I never looked at them the same again.
I don’t think it’s the slightest bit funny when some globetrotter jokes, “There might be a little me in ____ (insert some Asian or South American country)”.
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You mean…people are serious when they say stuff like that? I’ve always just taken it as, “I definitely failed to get laid in XYZ.”
I think they are.
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FWIW, my standard response when people ask if I have kids is “not that I know of.”
It is said entirely ton in cheek, and I can say with literal 100% confidence I have no offspring. Sometimes a joke is just a joke
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No one really needs anyone in particular. We’re all ultimately replaceable if you look at it in a cold utilitarian point of view. But people have value and most people actually just want to contribute and feel that they are making a difference.
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Lately it seems most people just want validation. Social media relies on that.
Made me think of this.
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