Gym Bags for Real Men

says the guy who shows off his custom closet in selfies

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My wife wants me to build her a custom closet. I build it. I have a first name relationship with my tailor. I am the first to admit my dapper dandy tendencies.

Gym fashion is where I draw the line. That I thought gym purse was funny.

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I’m just messing with you bud. I actually love design, I’ve taken on a lot of custom home projects over the years. I built a custom closet in my last condo, and I’m planning one for my new house. My last master closet was huge, it was 12’ x 6’. Almost bedroom sized. Maybe I’ll post a picture of the new one when it’s done.

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So you want to get matching gym purses?

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I’m way ahead of you.

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Psssssh lifting, this is the first thing I do once I step through the gym doors:

That’s how you let everyone know who the boss is.

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image

Like flip said earlier, let your lifts dictate who you are not your bag. I’m going to respect the guy who has a pink bag or a plastic Walmart bag that’s a big, strong mother fucker over some jackass with a “cool male” bag.

Makes me think of a conversation I had with a guy at the gym the other day about my pink harbinger straps. I literally only bought them because they were 4 dollars and the black ones were 10. End of discussion.

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I whip out the Rogue testicle battering ram yoke attachment whenever my navy blue Adidas bag doesn’t seem to be getting the point across.

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I don’t want peoples’ respect. I want a decent gym bag. And because of my personal taste, I’d like a certain kind. Shame on me for wanting a nice gym bag to keep my belongings in. Guess I’ll be carrying everything in a trash bag until I can bench press a pine tree.

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That’s the spirt. However, I would wait until at least an oak tree is within benching reach, that way everyone really will know you’re ready for war.

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What’s up with these Orientals beating up their own testicles?

China decided to go back to the “1-Child” policy, but didn’t have the funds for all the girl baby abortions anymore.

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That big ball puncher will save them billions then.

And the bragging rights! Priceless!

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If this thread is any indication, don’t worry, you won’t be getting much of it.

Here was literally the FIRST reply to your thread:

You got several other good replies as well. Have you looked into these (or any of the other) choices yet?

Actually, despite the condescending replies from just a handful of assholes, I took the advice from the slightly humorous and very helpful replies scattered about. I’ve found some gym bags that I really like. I enjoyed the jokes though, the body bag picture really got me lol. The first reply was shit. The rest varied between some tool telling me that he can deadlift 500+ to Asian men slamming their genitals, things got alittle weird, not ganna lie. But all in all, the variety of answers lead to 2 conclusions: 1, Filson is a very good brand, and 2, people on the internet are very angry (especially when gym bags are involved). I have learned my lesson. And in the future, I will make an attempt to avoid the phrase “145ib flower boys wearing turtlenecks” because it seems to hurt peoples’ feelings. This thread has concluded, I no longer need any assistance. Twojarslave, The_Mighty_Stu, Jewbacca, thank you.

perfect.

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That’s not how it works. OP doesn’t get to conclude a thread when there is still so much fun left.

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Good luck OP.

If you ever decide to let your gym colleagues know that you are no longer ready to go to war but instead are ready for love, this will say it all:

IllinformedShrillAlaskajingle-small

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HIgh-Quality-Huge-Capacity-Women-Men-Unisex-Outdoor-Backpack-Military-Tactical-Backpack-Hiking-Bag-Laptop-Backpack
This one should do the trick.No one will question your hardcoress.

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