Great Moments in Failure

Off Topic
1

I was in ninth grade and was reasonably athletic. We had one of those physical fitness tests coming up in gym class soon. I knew that I could break the 60 second situp record as I had been close to setting the record the year before. So I took not of the record and made it a point to train for it every day of the week until the test.

Test day came and I was prepared. When my time came I began to crank them out as hard and fast as I could. Ten, twenty, somewhere around thirty I began to fart about every fourth situp and could see that the person holding my feet was getting disgusted, I didn’t care and only went harder.

Toward the end I began to slack off once I passed the record and at the end of the minute I finished with eighty-nine situps shattering the previous record of seventy-five. I was ecstatic, high fives were exchanged when I said “I beat the record!!”
The gym teacher said “Really, how many did you get?”
“Eighty-nine!”
“I’m sorry son the record is ninety-one.”

I had succeeded in beating the all time girls record…

2

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3

Starting to feel a little lonely. Anyone else fail in epic proportions?

4

[quote]BeefEater wrote:
Starting to feel a little lonely. Anyone else fail in epic proportions?[/quote]

Ummmmmmmm…

Nope. Sorry bud.

lol ^^

5

[quote]polo77j wrote:
.[/quote]

Pussies running from a 5 ounce plastic chair like it’s a stick of dynamite

6

Well, I’m currently in my underwear and eating a “Pop-Tart”.

I don’t now if it’s failing, but it sure as hell ain’t “passing”!!

7

Since your a Steeler fan I’ll help you out.

I too had a shot at a record in gym class but I failed on purpose just to piss the gym teacher off.

My friend and I made a deal in grade five to attemp to get through public and highschool with no ribbins or trophys whatsoever just to see if it could be done and to piss off the teachers. We both played multiple sport outside of school just never for the school.

Anyway, in grade nine I was doing the flexed arm hang for time. The Gym teacher had his stopwatch out and was getting excited when he saw me hanging there when everyone else dropped. When I was about five seconds away from the record I said fuck it and let go. Teacher was furious at me lol, he knew I let go on purpose. Fuck him. Young and dumb, what a combo.

8

I also bought this model 74’ Mustang for my first car. I swear it looked cool with the Crager five spook rims. It was my winter beater and I coudn’t have picked a worse car for winter driving.

Ugly as the day is long. First time I floored it on the highway I blew out the exhaust. And the repairs kept coming. My oldman warned me but I wouldn’t listen, never ever buy the first car you look at.

9

Does this thread count as failure?

10

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Does this thread count as failure?[/quote]

Unfortunately, yes.

12

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Epic failure yes, but not in gym class.

Went out with this girl that I really fancied. We had a great time out on the town, went back to hers, smoked some bud, had depp, but numerous chats about all sorts of topics, until about 4 in the morning.

I was sleeping in her housmates bed, as housemate was away for the weekend.

I get into bed when there is a knock on the door.

It’s the girl (that I really fancy) aking me “Um, I wondered if you were warm enough or if you wanted to borrow a t-shirt”.

Now most guys (including myself at this point my life) would have recognised this as a blatant ‘last chance’ attempt by the girl to get me to kiss her/make a move.

But Nooooo, not this chump. I seriously was SO clueless at reading women/understanding the basics of male:female interaction, that I only saw the ‘on top’ message, i.e the borrowed shirt thing.

“hey, thanks, but I’m sure I’ll be warm enough tonight.”

“…ok…” she said with a slightly confused look on her face.

AND I fucked up another perfectly good chance to finally get with her. This time she was ACTUALLY IN MY BED, the morning after a night when we (and hertwin sister and my best mate) had been out clubbing. That one is just too distressing to relate.

Anyway, epic fail on my part.

BBB[/quote]

Ouch, did your friend get with her sister? This doesn’t have to be restricted to in the gym, just failing.

13

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Epic failure yes, but not in gym class.

Went out with this girl that I really fancied. We had a great time out on the town, went back to hers, smoked some bud, had depp, but numerous chats about all sorts of topics, until about 4 in the morning.

I was sleeping in her housmates bed, as housemate was away for the weekend.

I get into bed when there is a knock on the door.

It’s the girl (that I really fancy) aking me “Um, I wondered if you were warm enough or if you wanted to borrow a t-shirt”.

Now most guys (including myself at this point my life) would have recognised this as a blatant ‘last chance’ attempt by the girl to get me to kiss her/make a move.

But Nooooo, not this chump. I seriously was SO clueless at reading women/understanding the basics of male:female interaction, that I only saw the ‘on top’ message, i.e the borrowed shirt thing.

“hey, thanks, but I’m sure I’ll be warm enough tonight.”

“…ok…” she said with a slightly confused look on her face.

AND I fucked up another perfectly good chance to finally get with her. This time she was ACTUALLY IN MY BED, the morning after a night when we (and hertwin sister and my best mate) had been out clubbing. That one is just too distressing to relate.

Anyway, epic fail on my part.

BBB[/quote]

Girl: You need a t shirt? you can have the one i’m wearing right now. Here look i’ll take if off. O a condom, where did that come from?

BBB: No i’m fine, good night.

14

I got a -4 on an assignment in 6th grade one time…The teacher had pity and raised it to a zero…

15

So the story as I’ve been told…

I was drunk once. quite stupidly drunk. Beautiful girl I had been chating to earlier comes and starts trying to dance with me. I proceed to hump her in the most epic fail way that could ever be seen.

This is why I’m single.

Also. Different story.
I’d been with a girl for a few weeks. Things were going great. Sex was just around the corner. I loved how she smelt (perfume).

My mum decides to buy new toilet roll (charmin scented) They smelt exactly like her

Every time I saw her, I smelt her, and all I could think of was wiping my arse. That relationship certainly failed.

Pink elephant fail.

In fact… Anything to do with me and females usualy = fail. I’d cry if half the fail shit I have done in my life didn’t make me laugh

16

I have something kind of like that.

When I was 13 I was in a creative writing class for specially elected students from around the city and there was a pretty girl that on the last day of the course as we were signing each others certificate envelopes for memory’s sake asked if I’d write my number on her envelope so I wrote 5 on it…trying to be a smart ass but in reality covering up how shy I was.

17

[quote]bond james bond wrote:
I also bought this model 74’ Mustang for my first car. I swear it looked cool with the Crager five spook rims. It was my winter beater and I coudn’t have picked a worse car for winter driving.

Ugly as the day is long. First time I floored it on the highway I blew out the exhaust. And the repairs kept coming. My oldman warned me but I wouldn’t listen, never ever buy the first car you look at.

[/quote]

Ford making that car was complete FAIL. Naming it “Mustang” and not “Super Pinto” was Fail #2.

18

[quote]pgtips wrote:
My mum decides to buy new toilet roll (charmin scented) They smelt exactly like her

Every time I saw her, I smelt her, and all I could think of was wiping my arse. That relationship certainly failed.
[/quote]

LMAO! Oh man that’s hilarious.

19

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Epic failure yes, but not in gym class.

Went out with this girl that I really fancied. We had a great time out on the town, went back to hers, smoked some bud, had depp, but numerous chats about all sorts of topics, until about 4 in the morning.

I was sleeping in her housmates bed, as housemate was away for the weekend.

I get into bed when there is a knock on the door.

It’s the girl (that I really fancy) aking me “Um, I wondered if you were warm enough or if you wanted to borrow a t-shirt”.

Now most guys (including myself at this point my life) would have recognised this as a blatant ‘last chance’ attempt by the girl to get me to kiss her/make a move.

But Nooooo, not this chump. I seriously was SO clueless at reading women/understanding the basics of male:female interaction, that I only saw the ‘on top’ message, i.e the borrowed shirt thing.

“hey, thanks, but I’m sure I’ll be warm enough tonight.”

“…ok…” she said with a slightly confused look on her face.
[/quote]

Been in a similar situation as a teen, just a bit more cringe I think. We’d just watched a movie and I was in the spare bedroom and she came in said that I can stay in her room if I’m cold.

<---- This idiot didn’t get the hint.

20

[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
Epic failure yes, but not in gym class.

Went out with this girl that I really fancied. We had a great time out on the town, went back to hers, smoked some bud, had depp, but numerous chats about all sorts of topics, until about 4 in the morning.

I was sleeping in her housmates bed, as housemate was away for the weekend.

I get into bed when there is a knock on the door.

It’s the girl (that I really fancy) aking me “Um, I wondered if you were warm enough or if you wanted to borrow a t-shirt”.

Now most guys (including myself at this point my life) would have recognised this as a blatant ‘last chance’ attempt by the girl to get me to kiss her/make a move.

But Nooooo, not this chump. I seriously was SO clueless at reading women/understanding the basics of male:female interaction, that I only saw the ‘on top’ message, i.e the borrowed shirt thing.

“hey, thanks, but I’m sure I’ll be warm enough tonight.”

“…ok…” she said with a slightly confused look on her face.

AND I fucked up another perfectly good chance to finally get with her. This time she was ACTUALLY IN MY BED, the morning after a night when we (and hertwin sister and my best mate) had been out clubbing. That one is just too distressing to relate.

Anyway, epic fail on my part.

BBB[/quote]

Hahaha, I’ve done this before too. Never been offered a shirt, but looking back I’ve blown quite a few opportunities.