[quote]AnytimeJake wrote:
Sitting in a car, stareing at a house all night, GPS, stalking, fake engagement rings, dude listen to your self, if she is spending nights with someone, it’s probably to get some sanity in her life, goodluck[/quote]
haha…well i haven’t been sitting in a car all night…
I appreciate your perspective…It just has been ridiculously hard to confirm who lives there.
Ultimately, the dynamic of the relationship failed. Her behavior doesn’t reflect the behavior of a faithful partner. If it was just a girlfriend of hers it would have been easily explained and nothing more would have been said about it.
Trying to discover the identity of the person whose house she been staying at isn’t pertinent information. His identity is for your own curiosity. Your problem is with your women. He’s just another guy on the street.
Regardless of how you feel, you posted on the internet about a relationship issue. That statement should speak for itself.
Don’t continue feeding yourself fairy tales about how “it could get better.” It won’t.
I am also getting married, in august. I feel we are coming in to this thing from two different directions. What is marriage without trusting your spouse?
So if all I have against her is GPS info that’s enough to end it?
[quote]adamhum wrote:
So if all I have against her is GPS info that’s enough to end it?[/quote]
Tell her you need to know what she’s been doing staying over somewhere different at night. If she tries to change the subject don’t let her, if she comes up with an excuse that seems unlikely call her on it, and if she starts to argue with you, tell her to answer the question. If she’s unwilling to do anything other than prove to you (and I mean legitimately prove, don’t just take her word for it and fuck around for another three weeks) that what she’s doing over at that house, or with the person who lives in that house, is anything other than innocent and sparkling fucking clean, then she goes. You put all her shit in a box, and you tell her to go back to her parents until he gets her shit together and moves on with some other poor guy.
I don’t understand why you’re so desperate to salvage this, do you realise what’s on the line for you if you get played for a fool and wind up in a marriage with the kind of person we assume your fiance is? I’m not even sure why she’s so important to you, aside from the fact you thought it would be a good idea to bring her back three times and you once came up with the nifty idea of putting a ring on her finger, I don’t even recall anything you’ve said about her in the entire thread being positive or in reasonable defence of her actions and personality. So far all we really know about her is she has a false sense of entitlement, she’s desperate to marry anyone she lays her eyes upon, she lies, she doesn’t care for your feelings and for you being left out of what she’s doing, and she left you on the whim of you deciding it would not be a good idea to marry her. She sounds like a shit person right now Adam, unless she’s on her way to curing cancer and winning the Nobel Peace Prize, I don’t get why she seems to be so appealing to you.
Thinking back on that, I wager that if you actually up and told her you were having second thoughts about the marriage again, she’d leave you in the dust just like the last time and find someone else to latch her ego onto. Leave her, it doesn’t even matter if she’s cheating anymore, that’s only a small part of the poison cloud she’s clogging you up with.
If you really are unable to get your thoughts straight and realise that this person is poisonous to you, then marry her, just so you save some other guy from being pulled into it. If it seems like anyone is willing to take her shit for the rest of her years, you don’t seem like such a bad choice.
[quote]adamhum wrote:
So if all I have against her is GPS info that’s enough to end it?[/quote]
If she continues the behavior you are describing and leaves you without a genuine explanation, yes.
I love her a lot and I miss her when she’s not around. She’s incredibly sexy to me. Really that’s the only reason I want to keep her.
So I just want to be sure before I end it.
Also, I hear a lot about making the logical choice when it comes to women, like you’re buying or selling stock.
If it were only that easy…lol
[quote]adamhum wrote:
Also, I hear a lot about making the logical choice when it comes to women, like you’re buying or selling stock.
If it were only that easy…lol[/quote]
That’s exactly how you should take it, at least in this situation, sometimes the heart needs to take a seat and let the head talk, it’s a dualistic relationship they have.
this will be my last post on the topic, but listen, if she does explain her way out of this, with some reasonable explanation, two weeks or a mth from now, your going to be dreaming up some other senario, I truely believe from what I’ve read, that this isn’t a problem with her. Right now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, because I’m at peace and at ease with myself, happiness, respect, contentment, it all comes from within bro, and at the point when you have this, your able to share a life with someone else, mabey what you should do before you tell her about the GPS, or anything else, is to talk to someone,(yourself) marrige counsler or somesort of therapist, this is bound to pop up again in the future, weather it’s with this girl or another. I work with kids now, and with people who are trying to change their lifes, low self confidance, and self esteem, are pretty common now days, and we’re good at covering them up, then they pop up in unexpected ways, the fact that you say you don’t do well with confrontaion, because of all this, she very well might be pushing you, and the boundrys of your relationship. I would for sure look inward on this one bro, and weathewr or not you two stay togeather, you’ll be able to gain somthing from the whole situation. goodluck bro. peace out
This may have been addressed already… Is there a prenuptial agreement in place?
you ppl have to stop encouraging this shit. It’s not real.
There is not a chance in hell that you tell a women that you “GPS’d her” and she basically let it slide. That’s not how women work.
A woman would find that unattractive, insecure and paranoid. Huge turn-offs for a woman.
Give her a choice
[quote]adamhum wrote:
So if all I have against her is GPS info that’s enough to end it?[/quote]
No, but if she doesn’t have an explanation for staying the night at the mystery house then yes that’s enough.
So, you told her about the GPS but them let it go without any kind of explanation??? Wow, you really are non confrontational. Now, not only is the relationship going to end but you will most likely never know the truth. In life, when you have the advantage you press it. You don’t suddenly become Mr. Nice Guy. JUst ask Mitt Romney.
[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:
[quote]adamhum wrote:
Also, I hear a lot about making the logical choice when it comes to women, like you’re buying or selling stock.
If it were only that easy…lol[/quote]
That’s exactly how you should take it, at least in this situation, sometimes the heart needs to take a seat and let the head talk, it’s a dualistic relationship they have.[/quote]
I agree but I’m sure we rarely approach it this way. Even the smartest of us give more weight to what her ass looks like than what kind of wife she’d be and what kind of mommy she’d make.
[quote]adamhum wrote:
She’s incredibly sexy to me. Really that’s the only reason I want to keep her.
[/quote]
At points when I have a GF, I can think of more than just one (superficial) reason why I want to “keep her.” The fact that you’re marrying a woman because she’s sexy is fucking lunacy.
Not to mention, she sounds like the type of worthless bitch who’s gonna get fat as fuck and stop suckin’ your dick once shes got a ring on your finger.
You’re a moron to the tenth fuckin’ degree if you don’t end this TODAY.
[quote]on edge wrote:
So, you told her about the GPS but them let it go without any kind of explanation??? Wow, you really are non confrontational. [/quote]
This.
OP, you are not ready to marry anyone.
As long as you have no mature boundaries and some self respect, I would stay the hell away from women.
[quote]on edge wrote:
[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:
[quote]adamhum wrote:
Also, I hear a lot about making the logical choice when it comes to women, like you’re buying or selling stock.
If it were only that easy…lol[/quote]
That’s exactly how you should take it, at least in this situation, sometimes the heart needs to take a seat and let the head talk, it’s a dualistic relationship they have.[/quote]
I agree but I’m sure we rarely approach it this way. Even the smartest of us give more weight to what her ass looks like than what kind of wife she’d be and what kind of mommy she’d make.[/quote]
Yeah I guess we’re all guilty of that, natural instinct I guess. Luckily I’ve raised myself into distancing myself from even the thought of a marriage, at least until what I assume would be the next decade or longer.
We should definitely try to pay more attention to the personality than the looks. (I phrase that like a feminist, although I don’t mean to at all). If the roots are gnarled and rotten then we have a code red for marriage, hell Kanye West’s trapped for eighteen years because of it, I’m not going to get caught up in that cage anytime soon.
So I guess this has three weeks to meet some kind of soap opera ultimatum, whether it culminates in her winning or him winning.
I sincerely hope it culminates before that…
[quote]adamhum wrote:
I love her a lot and I miss her when she’s not around. She’s incredibly sexy to me. Really that’s the only reason I want to keep her.
[/quote]
Awful reason to marry someone. There are literally tens of thousands of women you could say the same thing about if you had a chance to get to know them. And you probably shouldn’t marry any of them either.
Do you have any self-respect at all? By marrying this person, you’re giving yourself to her. What does it say about your own self-esteem if the best you can say about her is you miss her when she’s not around and she’s sexy? How about when you have kids? Do you want to tell your 18 year old son going off to college to find a girl who he misses and who he thinks is sexy, and then he immediately propose?