Girls and asshole guys

Alright, now I know this may sound like the “perverbial” good guy question, but I need some answers…why in the hell do the cute, seemingly intelligent ladies in their early twenties always fall for the asshole guy that could give a shit about her, and is more into lighting her up at night than anything else.
Now i am not saying i am the greatest, but I just don’t understand what in the hell these broads see in these guys?..they booze all day, have piss poor marks, treat them like pieces of shit and all that jazz…i have busted my ass to get advanced degrees and hopefully my doctorate, I think i am a nice guy, I certainly am not brad pitt, but definitely not ugly, and I have a pretty good phsyique i would think…whats intersting is that one or two of my friends are just like this…its like we are so far in the desert as far as girls go its brutal…and its not becuase we don’t get out or make ourselves available…
Maybe its becuase we don’t just bang em and leave em or treat them shitty?
Somebody shed some light on this seemingly unexplainable phenonmenon

The clinical term for this worldwide condition is FITH Syndrome (F*&%$D in the head), and generally lasts till the mid to late 30’s, it can however last a lifetime and is often hereditary.

A guy at work w/a psych degree says they go out with scrawny runts either to feel secure & manipulate the guy or just because the scrrawny runt was the only one who tried. Same with the assholes.

I can’t really explain it, prob just the sense of safety or summin knowin that that same dude would f-up anyone that goes near her, but i’ll say this: nice guys don’t get all that many girls, but when they do, it means summin, which makes everythin a hecka lot beta

We cannot beat the jerks or understand women, so we just have to join them (the jerks, not the women.)This article will change your life- Strength Training, Bodybuilding & Online Supplement Store - T NATION

Check out the advice section at . They actually “seem” to make sense of women’s irrational decisions.

The nice guy often doesn’t seem like a challenge and loses a sense of mystery, or excitement. I posted a website with good advice about this. It’s at There’s a fellow who goes by the name Doc Love. The advice is dead on. I’ve talked alot to my fiancee about this, and she agrees that women can be nuts, but the “nice guys seem like candy asses you can walk all over”.
You have to be assertive and ask, retain a little mystery, and don’t spill your heart out at the start. Women are smart and can smell neediness. The jerks don’t seem needy, but there excitement can arouse a lot of passion. I’ve had more than a few try to get back with me after the jerk broke their hearts. Just yesterday, a girl that had hurt me in the past ran into me at a mall. The first thing she asked me if I was still engaged! You see I made her a buddy after a few years and then got to tell her anything. After she was my friend for awhile, her interest level went way back up. Now she late twenties without a good marriage prospect in mind. Check out the website, you’ll learn a lot. One other thing, reasons women give you don’t matter, their actions do. If you interest them, they will want to be with you.

Doc: I will definitely check out the site, but based on what you’ve seen posted and with the expeiences you’ve had (and me also) it SEEMS that two things come accross time after time:

1)Jerks, if not really confident, at least EXUDE confidence. And that can be powerful for a lot of women.

2) Most jerks I’ve known are the “Scud Missles of Love”. They tolerate (and tolerate them GLADLY) a “100 misses” for that one “hit” or “score”. I’ve SEEN guys in my posse go from table to table in a club until they got a “hit”. The “nice guy” will tend to first throw out some feelers…have a friend ask the girl if she’s dating…do research…maybe send a note…blah, blah, blah…and tends to be DEVASTED by a rejection.

Any thoughts, DOC?

Everyone interested in this thread should also read:

April 6, 2001; Issue 151; TC’s Atomic Dog “Take A Shot”…pretty kewl…and to the point…

I definitely agree with your “hit or miss” theory. That is so true. I have now a guy who has the worst personality in the world and is basically a jerk with girls. The thing is, most girls really don’t have anything to do with him. However, he will talk to anybody and say anything to a girl and because of that he gets a lot of tail. The guy literally has no shame, lol.

Great points…let me just say a few additional things for further discussion:

  1. I have seen ask, and it isn’t too bad a site, although some of the articles are cut short and can be redundant, although nonetheless good points.

  2. To tell you the truth, I wonder what bout just “being yourself” what ever happened to that philosophy, if a skirt don’t like you for who you are and what you stand for then she can go piss up a rope.

3)…to be honest, although i would consider myself a good guy, i do tend to be a little arrogant but more confident in general demeanor…that is, i don’t act like that to get girls, but its more like “i got my opinions and I don’t hesitate to give em”…of course opinions are like assholes, everyone has them.

4) Since I am hoping to start my doctorate in the psychology field myself (criminal psych) I am wondering how much of the nice guy syndrome is due to us being raised by decent parents, esp. mothers who kinda instilled some important don't start saying this is all freudian psycho schmable babble...

5)…I agree, i think chicks dig good physiques, but I think they can be intimidated as well.

finally 6)…I wonder if you asked a bunch of guys how they met their woman, few would say i didn’t know her from adam, but just went up to her and asked her out…i mean camahn, usually its like we have some idea or according to…buying signals are obvious?..

and by the way, I am not going to get tatooed or pierced, I despise it on dudes, just my opinion and I am sure i’ll get some flak for it but what the fuck tats what the forum is for.

here is some behavior relating to the topic at hand that I’ve observed…

I know this dood, he’s not much to look at (average looks), average height, below average build with a bit of a gut.

This guy operates as such: he keeps on complementing women (whether they are knock outs or average or below average), he asks them questions: where do you live? blab blab blab basically he operates on the female co-workers, he is very open to females and is good at making conversation

now eventually all that sweet talk sticks and the chick goes out with him

I wouldn’t consider this guy the “bad boy” type (he’s kinda wussy, maybe to chicks he is a bad boy? wtf knows…) but this method works for him, don’t know how and I can only speculate as to why.

maybe its his confidence (portrayed as being able to talk to strange females out of the blue)? maybe its his I don’t give a crap if she likes me cuz I’ll just turn around and sweet talk the other chick attitude?

I think you’re right on Mufasa. Jerks don’t care and will take a shot. The confidence they exude is attractive to women. I’m a lucky guy to have a woman who is also a great friend. She is actually my nex. Funny thing is, us guys that stay the course and devlop a good solid lifet door neighbor. She was married before. When she moved home, we had already a little background on each other character wise. She did not want a jerk. Women feel these guys are a challenge. They hold their interest more. Us guys that stay the course eventually win. This year was attack of the old girlfriends for me. It seemed about three tried to worm back in my life. One actually admitted she blew it. I stayed friends, but only trusted my fiancee. We were on and off, but stayed friends in between. She had always wanted to move to Arizona, so nothing could work then. She tried it, didn’t like it, and moved home last June. That’s when we knew it was going to be different. I guess to make a long story short, be confident, pursue interests, and realize we hold more cards than we think. Women want nice guys, but with an edge. It shows passion.

Okay, this question has come up a lot. Tell me, do you like dogs? What doyou do with the one that is crawling all over you and wetting your shoes-push it away! And the one that just looks at you ? You kneel down and say “Here Boy!” then you try to pet it-even if it nips at you once, and especially if someone says “He doesn’t like anyone” you will try, just to prove you are special.

You guys do it too. Are you challenged by the nice friendly girl or the aloof girl with the nasty smile???

I think it pays to consider alternative realities here, like a) maybe they aren’t assholes. Som people are shy and come off as pricks but are pretty nice when they warm up b) some guys are insecure, so they’re assholes around other guys but are pretty nice around their girlfriends. I have abuddy who is this way. Strange, but true c) there are lots of women who are attracted to flat-out fuck heads. It usually has to do with either a bad paternal realationship or some sort of past abuse. They grow up to think relationship = abuse and thus, the only possible reality.

The most important thing to remember? There are also lots of good looking, smart women that are sitting around wondering why no one will talk to them. If you don’t take the chance, the asshole might.

My best friend is engaged again after 4 years of the single life, following 16 years of marriage. He had zero problem finding tail after his divorce but as he was older, he caught everything from mid 20s to early 40s. One thing seems to be true, and that is that as they get older, women lose their fasination with the assholes. I met most of his girlfriends, and the common thread is they all seemded to want a decent, steady guy. I would say to you young single guys, just be yourself. If you are not, then the girl that would have been attracted to you will take a pass, as you look like something else. the girls you do attract with your bs will not be the ones you want anyway.

No, I don’t need any major challenge or stupid games. If I’m interested in someone, I show my interest. I’m not going to go through some crazy dance that many people like to go through.

As for which girl I’d be more likely to approach, it’s going to be the nice girl with the nice smile. I’ve approached a few of the pretty girls who were more aloof and not smiling, and they turned out to be the stuck-up bitches that I had already thought they would be. So give me a nice girl with a nice smile anyday.

Women do seem to loose interest in assholes as they get older but I’m not sure exactly why. One reason could be that they are maturing bla bla bla or a more logical reason is their looks are degrading and their biological clocks are ticking and they are becoming desperate as they cannot find their dream husband. Women come around to nice guys when you don’t really want em’ anymore.

Guess you’re just a nice guy, Nate.

See, I aggree and it is my perception that girls do lighten up as they get a tad older…but being a pre-doc student back at the undergrad where i went a few years ago, I am struck by the sheer idiocy of some of these ladies…the guys they choose certainly may be attractive, but they are definitely not model material, and some of them are so stupid in the head that you wonder how dumb the broad must be for dating the guy…and her I thought women were supposed to be the mature ones and stuff…Now don’t get me wrong, I am sure there are excellent, intelligent, and savvy women at my college, but maybe its just the way they were raised or something…the guys just completely use them…it befuddles me time and again.