For Orion #2
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Jackie_Jacked wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Jackie_Jacked wrote:
Just a random thought after reading this thread â It seems that an abundance of modern women are not familiar with the phrase Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free. They rush into playing house to show their love interest what a great catch they are and, in turn, take away the manâs incentive to make a commitment. After all, why would he when heâs already reaping all of the benefits?
My own situation was a little different from yours but at the point that I knew I had feelings for my now husband, I approached a conversation about what his long-term intentions were. I needed to know that things would either end or progress towards marriage. Anything else was wasting my time. To say that he was surprised and offended would be an understatement. It wasnât to me about an immediate marriage but more about how honorable his intentions were. At any rate, he wasnât forced into anything, nor was I. It was more about us both being on the same page as far as what our expectations were regarding our relationship. If you donât have the same expectations, someone is going to be hurt or end up feeling screwed over or short-changed. Clear that up.
For the record, my husband didnât even touch a boob for four months. That leads back to my original thought about women giving things up too fast. Too much is shared, too soon. Most women instinctively look for a commitment. Theyâre doing it backwards though. You get the commitment first, play wifey later.[/quote]
The problem with this post is you are reinforcing the notion that sex is a commodity to be bought and sold.
Man = john
Woman = hooker[/quote]
Not the way that I see it. If you know what youâre getting for Christmas then itâs not so much fun anymore, is it?
My points were:
- You donât have to have sex on the first date, itâs okay to wait
- When things seem like they have the potential to be serious, make your expectations known and then there is no confusion
- My husband is a good, honorable man that stepped up to the plate
- Women want some form of commitment. Some women like to play wife and when the novelty wears off and itâs exposed that a relationship is hard work, she unravels and he bails.
My husband and I donât use sex as a commodity nor do I recommend doing that. Men and women have complimentary roles and if they are a good partner, they will use their own skills and talents to better the relationship/marriage and make their partners life easier. Their mate should do the same. There is definitely an âexchangeâ if you want to call it that but itâs not akin to prostitution. Well, I suppose some people could make it that cheap but thatâs not indicative of everyone.[/quote]
I agree with everything in this post. However, the previous post implied the commodity aspect. Even the olâ âWhy buy the cow when you can get the milk for freeâ saying implies that.
It also implied that women âgiveâ sex, like wellâŠthey donât really like sex but theyâre willing to give (sell) it, and men are nothing more than âtakersâ (buyers). Now SOME might argue successfully that indeed thatâs the basic dynamic but many of us, you and I both, donât want it thataway.[/quote]
Ohhhh okay, gotcha now. Alright, I can see how it would come across that way. Perhaps I shouldnât have used an old saying with the word âbuyâ in it. It detracted from the idea.
The second part isnât quite what I meant. I wasnât saying that women are charging a toll to the golden gate bridge or anything. I meant that women today think if they play the Iâm a good wife role (including sex) that he will see how awesome I am and want to commit to me. I believe it to be the opposite - if a man has that too soon, he will be bored (or horrified) and move on to the next new piece of tail.
Take the Christmas analogy, for example. How often have you woken up to see a Christmas tree full of gifts underneath and gotten so excited that you could hardly wait to rip into them? Then, as you start opening them, as soon as you find out whatâs in one box, you immediately glance around to see the next box you would like to open.
Just putting this out there - my husband and I had a lot of fun making our daughter. Youâre also very correct about women wanting sex as much as men, well some of us do anyhow. There are definitely times when my husband has to tell me âIâm not a machine!!!â.
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]Edgy wrote:
[quote]Chushin wrote:
Oh my.
Derek is on fire!
Itâs almost as if he has some experience with a successful relationshipâŠ[/quote]
itâs all BS, Chushie - his âwifeâ is really a thai ladyboyâŠ[/quote]
I am going to tell JLO[/quote]
[/quote]
Phone book for sure. Remember how tall she is right cross to the left testicle for sure.
[quote]orion wrote:
Plus, depending where you live she still gets half your money and alimony on top of it.
[/quote]
I did not know this.
That is the same as the man being butt raped.
On what grounds does she get half his money and alimony?
This is crazy?!
Now I understand why more and more men in American society chose to bond emotionally with their pets instead of their women.
If the system is like this why would you open your heart to the âLady of the Ringâ? ( I do notice women here are big on wanting a rock on their finger as a kind of symbolism of how much they are worth to their men, though this could be mostly to show off to other women. But I could be wrong because such is not my mind set as my value does not come from anything outside myself.).
I would never substitute human bonding and companionship, nor would want to take anything from an ex husband ( specially the ring ), and I do know personally one other woman who chose to walk with nothing because they did not want any connection - so we do exist ( and no, she did not get a pet as a substitute for companionship, either.).
I am shocked at the alimony and taking half when she is the one who broke the marriage vow.
Wow.
Texas does not have Alimony.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
If a woman does it and gets caught, he can get anally raped by the system.
[/quote]
How come? ( Genuine question.)
[/quote]
AF, he IS correct.[/quote]
Small hijack: We did want to PM you but the function seems to be disabled for all.
We did not look into the forum for months.
Thinking of you and your son.
Your boy is gorgeous and manly looking, so so sorry for the hand trauma and loss but it will not make him less of a man.
Stay strong!
/hijack
OPâŠif you feed the ultimatum monster it grows. It grows fast and the larger it gets the more âfoodâ it will require. I was in your shoes 4 years ago. I fed the monster, got married (under instense pressure/ultimatums), had kid, watched afforentioned monster develope, things got bad, then they got worse. I am now 28, divorcing, and am getting stroked by the legal system to put it kindly. If you have not read the information in the links that Orion posted, than I highly suggest that you do so and try to really digest it.
DRAW A HARD LINEâŠdo not succumb to any manipulatory tactics no matter how sugar coated they may be and how innocent they sound. Chart your own course and invite her to get onboard with it. If she bails then she was nowhere near marriage material in the first place.
[quote]orion wrote:
http://dontmarry.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/rotating.pdf[/quote]
^Gospel^
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Texas does not have Alimony. [/quote]
Itâs called spousal maintenance. It still exists in TX.
And Montana.[/quote]
Yep, but I have my own opinions on that. Have not seen that happen very often.
Edit: Most of that if you read it is awarded to spouses with disabled children where the spouse is providing 100% care for the child and is unable to work.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Texas does not have Alimony. [/quote]
Itâs called spousal maintenance. It still exists in TX.
And Montana.[/quote]
Those are some bizarre qualifiersâŠ
7 years if the parties were married more than 20 years, but less than 30 years, however, you can still get 5 years if you were married less than 10 years as long as he punched you in the eye.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
I am shocked at the alimony and taking half when she is the one who broke the marriage vow.
Wow.
[/quote]
It happens all the time.[/quote]
In your opinion, on what grounds does it happen; I cannot see any justification or justice for that matter, in awarding this kind of behavior.
Unless the husband consented to her sleeping with others I cannot see how she deserves anything for herself.
In a different time and space she would have been stoned to death, now she is rewarded for life?
What in the world happened?
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Derek542 wrote:
Texas does not have Alimony. [/quote]
Itâs called spousal maintenance. It still exists in TX.
And Montana.[/quote]
Yep, but I have my own opinions on that. Have not seen that happen very often.
Edit: Most of that if you read it is awarded to spouses with disabled children where the spouse is providing 100% care for the child and is unable to work. [/quote]
Not necessarily âmostâ:[i]
In order to receive âmaintenance,â (which is the statutory term for spousal support), the spouse seeking support must lack sufficient property to provide for the spouseâs âminimum reasonable needsâ, AND one of the following:
(2) The marriage lasted for 10 years or longer and the recipient lacks the ability to earn sufficient income to provide for his or her minimum reasonable needs;
Under the previous law, under most circumstances, the court could only order maintenance for a maximum of three years, regardless of the length of the marriage. Under the new law, the court can order maintenance to continue for:
(1) 5 years if the parties were married less than 10 years and the maintenance is awarded due to family violence;
(2) 5 years if the parties were married more than 10 years, but less than 20 years.
(3) 7 years if the parties were married more than 20 years, but less than 30 years;
(4) 10 years if the parties were married for more than 30 years.
[/i]
Trust meâŠthe door is wide open here for moderate - long term marriages that lead to divorce and weâre not talking just disability related situations.
âMinimum reasonable needsâ is a really fun phrase for divorce attorneys and judges to play with. I guarantee it.[/quote]
Been through a divorce and my wifeâs X we had a long custody battle. I paid a ton of money to our lawyer, who ended up being the family lawyer. Him and I have had long conversations about the system and what he sees. Cause this topic actually came up. It just does not happen to the common man in Texas, yes some ultra rich asshole who marries the debutante and then trades her in 20 years later. But that is a very small percentage.
The fact of the matter is there is still a large portion of men who bail on their marriage and leave the wife and kids high and dry. As a divorced father who did the right thing and have to suffer for assholes like my wifeâs X really pisses me off.
I understand better now:
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
I understand better now:
http://www.divorcenet.com/states/florida/fl_art05[/quote]
Damn thats crazy as hell
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
[quote]pushharder wrote:
[quote]Alpha F wrote:
I am shocked at the alimony and taking half when she is the one who broke the marriage vow.
Wow.
[/quote]
It happens all the time.[/quote]
In your opinion, on what grounds does it happen; I cannot see any justification or justice for that matter, in awarding this kind of behavior.
Unless the husband consented to her sleeping with others I cannot see how she deserves anything for herself.
In a different time and space she would have been stoned to death, now she is rewarded for life?
What in the world happened?
[/quote]
UmâŠ
âŠif I may ask, where did you grow up?