Girlfriend Wants to Get Married, Dilemma

Off Topic
181

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

I am shocked at the alimony and taking half when she is the one who broke the marriage vow.

Wow.
[/quote]

It happens all the time.[/quote]

In your opinion, on what grounds does it happen; I cannot see any justification or justice for that matter, in awarding this kind of behavior.

Unless the husband consented to her sleeping with others I cannot see how she deserves anything for herself.

In a different time and space she would have been stoned to death, now she is rewarded for life?

What in the world happened?
[/quote]

Umā€¦

ā€¦if I may ask, where did you grow up?
[/quote]

Brazil.

Moved to England as soon as I was legal to abort parents: 18 ( by Brazilian law ).

In England for 22 years until I allowed myself to get caught and trapped by American male. ( Got married: Iā€™m a realist.).

In America now since 2010 and still adjusting to cultural shock number 2.

How old are you if you donā€™t mind me asking; Iā€™ve seen a lot of your posts. ( You have given me the giggles in some of them; I enjoy your sense of humor.).

May I just add that Brazilian women are raised to take care of their husbands ( and offspring ) paying special attention to make sure he is happy and well fed in the kitchen and specially in the bedroom.
As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

When I was growing up, Brazilian society accepted male infidelity but not female. This made the wives work extra hard in the sex department but also sets them up to require exclusive devotion and protection of her emotionally and sexually.

Things may well be different now.
I have not been back since I left 24 years ago.

182

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

I am shocked at the alimony and taking half when she is the one who broke the marriage vow.

Wow.
[/quote]

It happens all the time.[/quote]

In your opinion, on what grounds does it happen; I cannot see any justification or justice for that matter, in awarding this kind of behavior.

Unless the husband consented to her sleeping with others I cannot see how she deserves anything for herself.

In a different time and space she would have been stoned to death, now she is rewarded for life?

What in the world happened?
[/quote]

Umā€¦

ā€¦if I may ask, where did you grow up?
[/quote]

Brazil.

Moved to England as soon as I was legal to abort parents: 18 ( by Brazilian law ).

In England for 22 years until I allowed myself to get caught and trapped by American male. ( Got married: Iā€™m a realist.).

In America now since 2010 and still adjusting to cultural shock number 2.

How old are you if you donā€™t mind me asking; Iā€™ve seen a lot of your posts. ( You have given me the giggles in some of them; I enjoy your sense of humor.).

May I just add that Brazilian women are raised to take care of their husbands ( and offspring ) paying special attention to make sure he is happy and well fed in the kitchen and specially in the bedroom.
As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

When I was growing up, Brazilian society accepted male infidelity but not female. This made the wives work extra hard in the sex department but also sets them up to require exclusive devotion and protection of her emotionally and sexually.

Things may well be different now.
I have not been back since I left 24 years ago.
[/quote]

I need to move to Brazil.

183

All this if she wonā€™t marry you straight away and wants a big wedding get rid etc etc. Is this how people really think, or are there just a lot of single or divorced woman haters on this site? If you believe she doesnā€™t love you if she wont have a quicky in Vegas, and wants a proper celebration then many of you will die alone.

My Mrs wanted a proposal for about 18 months before she got one. Every guy i know whoā€™s got married all say the same thing. They all moan and theyā€™re all fucking nuts!

184

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

[/quote]

I am 38 and this has me in stitches.

This is so old school and so incredibly true.

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

Apparently, both is beneath ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ though, so they have to resort to nagging, bitching, whining and assorted assclownery.

185

I read a COSMO (university edition) magazine as I was bored waiting for a meal.

Apparently the LAD culture (facebook it and google it) and the use of the word wenches to describe women and the term ā€œsmash your back doors inā€ is simple code words for ā€œI am a rapistā€.

This has nothing to do with marriage etc but its one of the problems men are increasingly faced with because young women have their minds conditioned to think men are going to rape them if they behave in a LAD-like behaviour or better yet, like men always act when theyā€™re after a bit of fun with their friends.

Just an example of this is the word ā€œGashā€. Basically one of many weird words to describe a womans vajayjay. -_-

If you have said this word to describe anything on a night out, you are deemed a rapist by the COSMO brigade. What shit like this exists in Brazil, Japan etc?

186

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

[/quote]

I am 38 and this has me in stitches.

This is so old school and so incredibly true.

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

Apparently, both is beneath ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ though, so they have to resort to nagging, bitching, whining and assorted assclownery.

[/quote]

I consider myself a strong, independent American woman (if by independent you mean has decent car and job) and I understand that these things nourish men. They nourish me for that matter, because I want closeness and a happy mate.

How is this not exactly the same as claiming that all men are childish jokes or violent brutes? I will admit that I often hear women espousing these views (esp. the childish thing) but by no means all of them do. Fat people are the same way. I know lots of men and women whoā€™ve let themselves go, but I also know lots who havenā€™t.

187

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

[/quote]

I am 38 and this has me in stitches.

This is so old school and so incredibly true.

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

Apparently, both is beneath ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ though, so they have to resort to nagging, bitching, whining and assorted assclownery.

[/quote]

I consider myself a strong, independent American woman (if by independent you mean has decent car and job) and I understand that these things nourish men. They nourish me for that matter, because I want closeness and a happy mate.

How is this not exactly the same as claiming that all men are childish jokes or violent brutes? I will admit that I often hear women espousing these views (esp. the childish thing) but by no means all of them do. Fat people are the same way. I know lots of men and women whoā€™ve let themselves go, but I also know lots who havenā€™t. [/quote]

Na, the ā€œstrong, independent woman ā„¢ā€ is anything but, its a bit like someone who is constantly flashing his money is probably not rich.

In fact, he would be more suave than a woman who tells you after 20 seconds how ā€œstrongā€ and ā€œindependentā€ she is.

There is nothing wrong with strong and independent women, but ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ are an emotional trainwreck.

188

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

[/quote]

I am 38 and this has me in stitches.

This is so old school and so incredibly true.

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

Apparently, both is beneath ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ though, so they have to resort to nagging, bitching, whining and assorted assclownery.

[/quote]

I consider myself a strong, independent American woman (if by independent you mean has decent car and job) and I understand that these things nourish men. They nourish me for that matter, because I want closeness and a happy mate.

How is this not exactly the same as claiming that all men are childish jokes or violent brutes? I will admit that I often hear women espousing these views (esp. the childish thing) but by no means all of them do. Fat people are the same way. I know lots of men and women whoā€™ve let themselves go, but I also know lots who havenā€™t. [/quote]

Na, the ā€œstrong, independent woman ā„¢ā€ is anything but, its a bit like someone who is constantly flashing his money is probably not rich.

In fact, he would be more suave than a woman who tells you after 20 seconds how ā€œstrongā€ and ā€œindependentā€ she is.

There is nothing wrong with strong and independent women, but ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ are an emotional trainwreck.[/quote]

Going back to the OP (lol) I donā€™t think she sounds like what youā€™ve described here. She sounds like a girl who loves her boy and isnā€™t sure he feels it as strongly as she does, so has sought reassurance.

Iā€™m inclined to agree with ESX above who seems, if Iā€™m reading him correctly, to think it poor sport to deny her a once-in-a-lifetime celebration for no good reason.

(Although personally, to veer off topic yet again, I find lavish weddings somewhat grotesque. I didnā€™t have any wedding at all to speak of and Iā€™ve always envied friends who had basic, happy weddings and receptions. I totally approve of those and think they are worth every penny. But I would rather do a justice of the peace than a ridiculous full-scale Bridezilla thing. Too much expectation riding on one overpriced event. God help you if it rains or your dress snags on something or a bridesmaid gets pregnant and doesnā€™t fit her dress or the mother of the groom has a stomach flu. DOOM.)

189

[quote]orion wrote:

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

[/quote]

again, a universal truth spoken by our Messiah, the mighty O~

you are now my #1 internet philosopher~

190

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

[/quote]

again, a universal truth spoken by our Messiah, the mighty O~

you are now my #1 internet philosopher~[/quote]

That is apparently what girls are taught in Brazil, feed him, fuck him, see what happens.

Since men really are not any more complicated than that for the most part I am a bit at a loss why so many women cannot handle this.

191

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

[/quote]

again, a universal truth spoken by our Messiah, the mighty O~

you are now my #1 internet philosopher~[/quote]

There have been a number of studies in Israel in what-causes-a-man-to-leave a relationship/marriage.

The number one underlying factor is the woman did not respect the man.

Being respectful results in a number of behaviors, from not harping to not sleeping around to not wasting the resources (i.e., money) brought into the marriage by the man, to more physical things mentioned.

Conversely, the number one underlying factor for women leaving a relationship was the man not acting in a loving manner, which includes: being respectable (making her job easy), being kind, hugging her, etc.

Not sure how this applies to the world-at-large, but thatā€™s how to keep a Jewish husband and wife happy.

192

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

[/quote]

again, a universal truth spoken by our Messiah, the mighty O~

you are now my #1 internet philosopher~[/quote]

There have been a number of studies in Israel in what-causes-a-man-to-leave a relationship/marriage.

The number one underlying factor is the woman did not respect the man.

Being respectful results in a number of behaviors, from not harping to not sleeping around to not wasting the resources (i.e., money) brought into the marriage by the man, to more physical things mentioned.

Conversely, the number one underlying factor for women leaving a relationship was the man not acting in a loving manner, which includes: being respectable (making her job easy), being kind, hugging her, etc.

Not sure how this applies to the world-at-large, but thatā€™s how to keep a Jewish husband and wife happy.[/quote]
Wow so just treat the other person with respectā€¦where have I heard that before.

193

[quote]jewishthunder wrote:
Hey so my girlfriend of 5 years whom I love very much is really pushing to get married. Yesterday. That kind of pressure. Keep in mind we are both 24. Have had some ups and downs in our relationship. We share a dog, apartment and a lot of other random shit. Not that that really matters in this.

To those who have been in the situation of not wanting to get married, whatā€™s the play here. It has gotten to the point of an ultimatum almost of marry her or be single.

I just donā€™t want to get married right now. Itā€™s not her, itā€™s just the activity. I donā€™t wanna.

TL:DR GF of 5 years wants to get married ASAP, I donā€™t. Thoughts?[/quote]

If youā€™re in a relationship for five years and youā€™re lives are not in alignment then youā€™re either really, really, really poor at communicating or youā€™ve just been going through the motions because itā€™s comfortable not because you really want to be there.

If you donā€™t want to get married because you just donā€™t want the commitment then move out, get a place on your own, and start seeing other people. Like Derek said, you need to sit down with her and talk about the reasons you donā€™t want to get married and the reasons that she does.

james

194

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

[/quote]

I am 38 and this has me in stitches.

This is so old school and so incredibly true.

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

Apparently, both is beneath ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ though, so they have to resort to nagging, bitching, whining and assorted assclownery.

[/quote]
Tv
I consider myself a strong, independent American woman (if by independent you mean has decent car and job) and I understand that these things nourish men. They nourish me for that matter, because I want closeness and a happy mate.

How is this not exactly the same as claiming that all men are childish jokes or violent brutes? I will admit that I often hear women espousing these views (esp. the childish thing) but by no means all of them do. Fat people are the same way. I know lots of men and women whoā€™ve let themselves go, but I also know lots who havenā€™t. [/quote]

Na, the ā€œstrong, independent woman ā„¢ā€ is anything but, its a bit like someone who is constantly flashing his money is probably not rich.

In fact, he would be more suave than a woman who tells you after 20 seconds how ā€œstrongā€ and ā€œindependentā€ she is.

There is nothing wrong with strong and independent women, but ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ are an emotional trainwreck.[/quote]

And this is based on statitics and genetics too?

How many independent and strong women have you met in your life and had relationships with? Were they all trainwrecks?

Iā€™m physically and mentally strong, and Iā€™m independent financially. I will never rely on a man to help me out with material stuff. I own businesses, Iā€™m an entrepeneur, rich beyond my wildest dreams, and emotionally and mentally happy. If this makes me a fucking emotionall trainwreck, then youā€™re talking out of your ass, Dr Phil.

195

[quote]atypical1 wrote:

If you donā€™t want to get married because you just donā€™t want the commitment then move out, get a place on your own, and start seeing other people.
[/quote]

I agree with this; it is that simple if he feels an ā€œultimatumā€ in the air.
But no, he went and got a puppy with her.
Does anyone consider how that affects her emotional system and how that awakens her to want to have children next? Of course she will put pressure for commitment.

Getting an apartment and a dog together as a substitute for an honorable engagement could have well caused her to became demanding and I would not blame her for that.
He may well have created that monster.

I know of a guy who is 35 and snatched the cradle. All he wanted to do was surf. Got his 19 year old girlfriend a puppy, also. After that she began to put pressure on him to get a job and get out of his motherā€™s house and demand more indications that actually was preparing himself to marry her.

196

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

[/quote]

I am 38 and this has me in stitches.

This is so old school and so incredibly true.

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

Apparently, both is beneath ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ though, so they have to resort to nagging, bitching, whining and assorted assclownery.

[/quote]
Tv
I consider myself a strong, independent American woman (if by independent you mean has decent car and job) and I understand that these things nourish men. They nourish me for that matter, because I want closeness and a happy mate.

How is this not exactly the same as claiming that all men are childish jokes or violent brutes? I will admit that I often hear women espousing these views (esp. the childish thing) but by no means all of them do. Fat people are the same way. I know lots of men and women whoā€™ve let themselves go, but I also know lots who havenā€™t. [/quote]

Na, the ā€œstrong, independent woman ā„¢ā€ is anything but, its a bit like someone who is constantly flashing his money is probably not rich.

In fact, he would be more suave than a woman who tells you after 20 seconds how ā€œstrongā€ and ā€œindependentā€ she is.

There is nothing wrong with strong and independent women, but ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ are an emotional trainwreck.[/quote]

And this is based on statitics and genetics too?

How many independent and strong women have you met in your life and had relationships with? Were they all trainwrecks?

Iā€™m physically and mentally strong, and Iā€™m independent financially. I will never rely on a man to help me out with material stuff. I own businesses, Iā€™m an entrepeneur, rich beyond my wildest dreams, and emotionally and mentally happy. If this makes me a fucking emotionall trainwreck, then youā€™re talking out of your ass, Dr Phil.

[/quote]

Thats what makes you so hot!! :slight_smile: yum yum

197

[quote]orion wrote:

I am 38

[/quote]

I was aiming to get married to a man from 37 to 45 year olds ( older if fit and healthy which was the case ).
But you are in a good age bracket and from your fame here will be at your prime at 45, :slight_smile:

I would go travel and investigate Brazil, Australia and Japan.

Here is my definition of ā€œstrong, independent womenā€; bear in mind these are shark infested waters.
Orion, watch the interview at the end. How about Miss Haley for you? Pretty and strong and look at how she holds that knee position on an unstable surface:

And happy, healthy, strong and down to earth Brazilian girls for you:

198

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]Alpha F wrote:

As a wife, I was programed to have in mind when he is grumpy: Is he hungry? Is he horny? And the rest comes after those two primordial needs are satisfied.

[/quote]

I am 38 and this has me in stitches.

This is so old school and so incredibly true.

How to keep your man happy 101:

Make him a sammich and give him a blowjob and 95% of the time he is happy again if he was not before.

Apparently, both is beneath ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ though, so they have to resort to nagging, bitching, whining and assorted assclownery.

[/quote]
Tv
I consider myself a strong, independent American woman (if by independent you mean has decent car and job) and I understand that these things nourish men. They nourish me for that matter, because I want closeness and a happy mate.

How is this not exactly the same as claiming that all men are childish jokes or violent brutes? I will admit that I often hear women espousing these views (esp. the childish thing) but by no means all of them do. Fat people are the same way. I know lots of men and women whoā€™ve let themselves go, but I also know lots who havenā€™t. [/quote]

Na, the ā€œstrong, independent woman ā„¢ā€ is anything but, its a bit like someone who is constantly flashing his money is probably not rich.

In fact, he would be more suave than a woman who tells you after 20 seconds how ā€œstrongā€ and ā€œindependentā€ she is.

There is nothing wrong with strong and independent women, but ā€œstrong, independent women ā„¢ā€ are an emotional trainwreck.[/quote]

And this is based on statitics and genetics too?

How many independent and strong women have you met in your life and had relationships with? Were they all trainwrecks?

Iā€™m physically and mentally strong, and Iā€™m independent financially. I will never rely on a man to help me out with material stuff. I own businesses, Iā€™m an entrepeneur, rich beyond my wildest dreams, and emotionally and mentally happy. If this makes me a fucking emotionall trainwreck, then youā€™re talking out of your ass, Dr Phil.

[/quote]
None of that matters DN, when you are in the presence of an Alpha motherfucking Male your only response should be here is your sammich and please let me suck you dry. Cause we have learned in this thread that there are no women like you have described that is a unicorn. You are all weak willed and emotionally wrecked beings that only want to ā€œtrapā€ men into marrying them so you can take half their stuff, then rinse and repeat.

199

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

None of that matters DN, when you are in the presence of an Alpha motherfucking Male your only response should be here is your sammich and please let me suck you dry. Cause we have learned in this thread that there are no women like you have described that is a unicorn. You are all weak willed and emotionally wrecked beings that only want to ā€œtrapā€ men into marrying them so you can take half their stuff, then rinse and repeat. [/quote]

high five gif

200

[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

None of that matters DN, when you are in the presence of an Alpha motherfucking Male your only response should be here is your sammich and please let me suck you dry. Cause we have learned in this thread that there are no women like you have described that is a unicorn. You are all weak willed and emotionally wrecked beings that only want to ā€œtrapā€ men into marrying them so you can take half their stuff, then rinse and repeat. [/quote]

high five gif

[/quote]