I am focusing on both the emotional and financial. At this age they can be neither financially nor emotionally responsible enough to care for children. They may not be responsible enough to truly understand the values of birth control either. Also, even though I am a christian I am not opposed to the idea of responsible adults engaging in sexual relations provided they are committed to each other in a serious relationship.
Does oral sex carry with it less emotional weight than vaginal? How do you decide teenagers don’t have the emotional stability, and at what age is that gained? For me, I don’t know what is required and I don’t want to mess with something I don’t know about, so I’m not having sex until marriage. I recently posted about this but the topics in this thread that I had hoped would be covered weren’t. I’m looking forward to responses to my first two questions.
i agree with pda, but if you are going to get a bj and hses not confortable with it, and what i find work for the timmied and this might sound funny but get her favorite flavor fruit rollup and well wrap it around your schlong, trust me you’ll both like it.
OK, I agree that 17 and 16 are too young to fully appreciate the emotional aspects and responsibilities of having sex, but let’s face the facts; kids are going to have sex whether you like it or not. And don’t tell me its some sudden new lack of morality; it’s been this way for generations. Heck, my 81 year old mother even admitted to having premarital sex; that’s why my oldest brother was 4 months “premature.”
So from a practical point of view, if they’re going to do what they want anyway (behind your back if they have to) you should at least make sure they know how to do it safely and correctly. As the saying goes, “The virtue of ignorance is only proclaimed by those with a monopoly on knowledge.”
Actually I do criminal defense work in South Carolina and have since 1988. There is no two year rule such as you describe. The age of consent is 16 and at 16 you can consent, legally, to sex with any other person 16 or older. There is some conflict with other laws (for instance it is illegal to take sexually explicit photos of someone under 18) but the age of consent thing is clear.
No no no no no no. Every bit of advice here is horrible. Like one poster said, you will always be her first. Don’t let that oppurtunity pass you by, for the rest of your existence you’ll be dating girls thinking about their “first”, this is the only chance you’ll have to actually be a “first”, dont screw this up and lose that oppurtunity. As for any future with this girl, you can forget about it, it’s not going to last. So take what you can, while you can, and get out. Late.
Well sunuvabitch … the information I got was from 2 City of Columbia police officers. They would actually come do the “seminars” or whatever you want to call them, where we would talk to kids about not putting themselves in comprimising situations. That was the advice they gave. And I’m sure I’m not misquoting, as I sat through that damn thing about 20 times.
I know it sounds stupid, but I’d hate to think that a couple of cops were walking around giving out bogus info.
Well I understand your dissapointment in the reliablilty of what the cops told you. There are alot of legal myths accepted as fact (if you live with someone for ___ years you are legally married) SC does recognize common law marriage but it is alot more complex then that.
One of my part time jobs is juvenile Public Defender in the county where I live. If you still work with kids and want this type of info that you can rely on I suggest you contact the Juvenile Public Defender in your county, or the Solicitor who prosecutes Juveniles. Either should give you the straight scoop.
OK, so tell us already. What did you finally work out with your nervous girlfriend?
I’ve been with my girlfriend for 4 months now, we’re both 17. I’ll give you my experiences.
She too didn’t want me to eat her out, my advice is make it clear that you definitely do want to, but don’t keep making a big deal. When I stopped pressuring her, she eventually let me. Over time you become more comfortable with each other, maybe try slightly pulling her pants down and kissing her underwear (if she wears any ;), and she’ll eventually get used to having your head down there, and you being able to see her body.
I wouldn’t suggest having a shower together just yet. I still haven’t because it takes a great deal of trust on both sides, which you don’t seem to have yet.
Along with slowly progressing physically, talk to her! Even if you’re embarrassed, discuss things!
To everyone who says 16/17 is too young to be having sex. It’s hard to judge someone else by your own maturity at that age. My girlfriend and I waited 3 1/2 months for sex (mainly my decision, surprise! I’m the guy) and that was definitely a very good decision, now we actually trust each other.
I probably would agree most 16/17 year olds are too young, of coarse I don’t think I’m too young. Maybe I’ll think differently in a few years. Although one thing’s for sure, kids scare the hell out of me right now!
jeez, sounds like something my ex woulda said around this time last year…anyway, here’s how i got down to muff diving on her: we were fooling around one night and i had my hands in her pants and i was sucking on some breasteses and i started kissing down her tummy some until i got to her sweats and her panties…at that point i started pulling them off with my teeth and she got nervous and grabbed the back of my head. at that point i looked her in the eye and told her to relax, hold my hand (my free one, the other one was still working my magic) and that if she didn’t like what i was doing she could just tell me so and i’d come back up. i went down there, ate her good, gave her the ole O, and that was that. now the reason that worked was cause there was a high level of trust involved. now if you have that, your in buisness, if not it’s a good place to start. some women are freaked out about their parts. they think their dirty or smelly, or whatever, regardless of if they are or not. i guess it’s cause women got more of a mess to deal with (that really “fun” week that rolls around once a month, and the “flooding” that occurs whenever we’re around and working our magic)and most woemn i know don’t like messes. i mean hell, when was the last time you saw a women with a closet auger snaking a shitter, having shit flying everywhere, or even cleaning out that thing in the sink that’s full of soggy food after you do dishes. just my lil theory.
-USCG dog