Wow!
That girl has to be amaaaaazing in bed.
As matter of fact, I think thats why that ginger was just sitting there taking it. He was too embarrassed to stand up 'cause everyone would see his little woody poking out.
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
[quote]LHT wrote:
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
[quote]LHT wrote:
^^^ I recall and I understand, that’s why I didn’t want to appear overly critical of your opinion per se, rather I hoped to use it as an opportunity to elucidate some of the possible subtext in this sort of scenario. [/quote]
I will say this then.
If I have ever screamed at someone it was when I was a little girl and I have never hit anyone like that ever.
Women who are like that are always like that.
So do you think a woman who is like that can be perfectly sane and normal in all other situation?
Can she hide it?
edit by always I mean when they loose their temper they’re like that[/quote]
Ah I think I understand…so you’re saying that the combined evidence, such as him sticking with he for two years, in addition to the obvious instability demonstrated by her ludicrous public display, would tend to indicate that both parties are, for lack of a better term, a little messed up? Her for whatever reasons, and him for sticking with someone obviously ‘disturbed?’
[/quote]
Pretty much yep.
But I also mentioned that it did not mean that it was like this all the time, maybe this was a bit extreme for them. Or not.
I think you would also have to be trapped(and this could be where my bias is coming from) in a situation with people like this to really see how both are at fault.
But the woman in this scenario is definitely the criminal and I’m not arguing for actual criminal charges against the man. [/quote]
The way you think is interesting! I can’t help but also think about the near-weekly phenomenon of someone posting on these forums about a relationship with an unstable partner. One repeating theme is that reasonably strong bonding between a man* and a woman reported as being unstable often happens with a fairly young guy who is often in what seems to be his first serious, or at least first really intense, relationship.
In your opinion, and of course acknowledging your personal experiences about which you have hinted in other posts, how often do you think that this type of relationship is the first step in a lifetime pattern, or instead, how often is this merely an inexperienced person falling in with an exciting but bat-shit whacko partner/lover/girlfriend/whatever?
No attempt at being scientific or definitive, just your general impressions.
- – yes I acknowledge that guys (or the initiating poster of either sex when describing such situations) will present themselves in the best, or at least ‘least-insane,’ light, and I’m not implying any judgement on the realities of the relationship solely from one-sided reports.
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
…it’s her that slaps and slaps and then he finally hits back…
…taking exception with it being all blamed on them.
Oh and just so we’re clear my friend and aunt are the ones who ended up being more violently hurt than their men. They pushed them until they freaked. So I am blaming them for getting involved with men who were obvious looser. Obvious to me anyways.
[/quote]
They hit the dudes. They got hit back. They pushed them until they freaked. So it’s their fault that they got hit because they got involved with men who do not meet your expectations of masculenity who made them lose thier temper by not meating those expectations which than escalated to the “losers” losing tempers and hitting them back. These women didn’t get hit because they antagonized the shit out of, and physically attacked someone bigger, and stronger than them. They got hit because they dated losers. Wait… what?! Excuse me while my head explodes.
GENTLEMEN!
This is what women think about when they think you MIGHT hit them back. They don’t think “Oh fuck I’d best not hit him, he might hit me back”, they think “If he hits me, it’s only because he’s a loser”. If they respect you, you’re not a loser, so they’re safe to swing away, because a winner would never hit them back. If they don’t respect you they’ll hit you because you deserve it for being a loser. Either way, your getting hit, and no matter the outcome, it’s your fault, because she should have known better. Makes no sence, but hey, it is what it is. Keep calm, and carry on.[/quote]
The women are to blame for their behavior but do the men not get any responsibility for being in the relationship at all with a crazy person? Do they not contribute anything to the drama? Just innocent victims?
He chose to be with her and she with him. Both are fucked up! BOTH!
Your post is still confusing to me btw. Not even sure if I responded to it or not.
[/quote]
Every individual is 100% responsible for their own behaviour, especially when it comes to conduct that has been deemed unlawful. The whole point of making something illegal is to protect people from it - we say to EVERYONE “You’re not allowed to physically attack anyone”. That’s the law. The flip side to this is that everyone is told that no matter what they do, they’re supposed to be safe from physical violence. You don’t tell a bank “Hey you wouldn’t have gotten robbed if you didn’t have all that money sitting around”. They’re a bank, and they’re not supposed to be robbed. By the same token you don’t tell a person (of either gender) “Hey you wouldn’t have gotten hit if you weren’t x,y, or z”. Shits not suppposed to happen. Period. Now, you might point out that banks still have vaults, and that is an excellent point. Problem is that “banks” (men) are being raised to believe that they don’t need “vaults” because bank robbers (women) are to be worshipped on high as sugar and spice and everything nice. Not only that, but owning a vault in this case is a liability !
Now… every person is responsible for their own happiness. This however is NOT to be confused with being responsible for their own situation. Or if you prefer, you are responsible for how you play your hand, but not the hand your delt. If your house is blown over in a tornado, that is not your fault. Even if you live in an area where tornados are common it’s not. You don’t control the weather. Same thing here. If your being kicked in the head, it’s not your fault. Even if the person doing it is known to be as volatile as mother nature, it’s not your fault. Now, certainly at some point, you’ve got to start thinking about moving out of tornado valley, but when your family, friends, job, home, etc… are all there it’s a lot easier said than done. Same thing with something like this.
In the case of the video, unless I’m mistaken it said he had cheated on her. That is one of the most hurtful things anyone can do to anyone is it not? So if we assume for a moment that this is the first time he’s done it to her, and hence the most infuriating thing he’s ever done to her, I don’t think it’s unreasonable that this might be the first time she’s been this way. Not only that, but just like any other abusive person, every time they do it is always “the last time”. Nobody ever blackens their lover’s eye, and the next day says “next time I’ll hit you harder !”. It’s “I’m so sorry, that’ll never happen again, I love you.”. And they invariably get the benefit of the doubt. Not only for the friends, family, hard to move on shit, but because as body gaurd eluded to, there tends to be a degree of inhibition, passion, etc… that can be very intoxicating (not just in the bedroom either). I.E. I want to move so that I stop getting tornadod, but everything important to me is here, and it’s so beautiful, and the wether report says there won’t be anymore tornados, so I guess it’ll be ok.
In any event, you specifically said “I am blaming them for getting involved with obvious losers”, which is a sentance which immediatly removes the blame from your aunt and friend and places it squarely on the men they hit for apperently being pussys (losers). This is ignorant. 
The women are to blame for hitting their men. Their men are to blame for hitting them back. We have rules against hitting, and there aren’t exceptions for when people piss you off by not living up to your expectations. Now, maybe they should leave each other. Than agian, maybe they’ve got reasons to stay. But the thing of it is that NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE! You don’t stop robbing banks, by stopping your attendance at the bank. You don’t stop being a psycho bitch or jack ass by getting a new partner. You have to take responsibility for yourself, and fix what’s wrong with you. Not escape what’s wrong with you by finding someone else. If you’ve got a rage problem and you start hitting your partner because of shit they do, you don’t ditch that person and find someone less infuriating. There’s always going to be something to piss you off, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But healthy experssions of that anger are your responsibility. Not someone elses. And the people you hurt in the mean time are not to blame for YOUR actions.
Now, again, you can say that the person geting hit should leave, and than they won’t get hit anymore. Except that’s not neccesarily true, and if they stay it’s generally for a reason. I would challenge anyone claiming that they wouldn’t take this, or wouldn’t take that, that you most certainly would if the right circumstances presented themselves. These circumstances will be differnet for everyone, but as a good starting point, if there’s anything you’d kill for / die for, there’s something you’d eat a shit sandwhich for / put up with a crazy bitch for. It’s not for you and I to decide what’s a good enough reason for each other, but that’s just the thing. If there’s a reason to put up with being hit, and we can’t say it’s not good enough, but we DO say you shouldn’t be hit (because it’s the law) than it’s sure as shit a good reason to stay because we already said “YOU SHOULDN’T BE HIT”.
Again, it’s not the german jew’s fault he got thrown in an oven, it’s not the redneck’s fault his trailer home blew away, and it’s not this guys fault he took a couple slaps, and a couple boots. The shits not supposed to happen, and the forcast was most assuredly for blue skys.
dude, we get it. you got fucked over in some domestic violence situation(s). but do you really expect people to read this wall of text? i thought i was long winded.
[quote]LHT wrote:
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
[quote]LHT wrote:
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
[quote]LHT wrote:
^^^ I recall and I understand, that’s why I didn’t want to appear overly critical of your opinion per se, rather I hoped to use it as an opportunity to elucidate some of the possible subtext in this sort of scenario. [/quote]
I will say this then.
If I have ever screamed at someone it was when I was a little girl and I have never hit anyone like that ever.
Women who are like that are always like that.
So do you think a woman who is like that can be perfectly sane and normal in all other situation?
Can she hide it?
edit by always I mean when they loose their temper they’re like that[/quote]
Ah I think I understand…so you’re saying that the combined evidence, such as him sticking with he for two years, in addition to the obvious instability demonstrated by her ludicrous public display, would tend to indicate that both parties are, for lack of a better term, a little messed up? Her for whatever reasons, and him for sticking with someone obviously ‘disturbed?’
[/quote]
Pretty much yep.
But I also mentioned that it did not mean that it was like this all the time, maybe this was a bit extreme for them. Or not.
I think you would also have to be trapped(and this could be where my bias is coming from) in a situation with people like this to really see how both are at fault.
But the woman in this scenario is definitely the criminal and I’m not arguing for actual criminal charges against the man. [/quote]
The way you think is interesting! I can’t help but also think about the near-weekly phenomenon of someone posting on these forums about a relationship with an unstable partner. One repeating theme is that reasonably strong bonding between a man* and a woman reported as being unstable often happens with a fairly young guy who is often in what seems to be his first serious, or at least first really intense, relationship.
In your opinion, and of course acknowledging your personal experiences about which you have hinted in other posts, how often do you think that this type of relationship is the first step in a lifetime pattern, or instead, how often is this merely an inexperienced person falling in with an exciting but bat-shit whacko partner/lover/girlfriend/whatever?
No attempt at being scientific or definitive, just your general impressions.
- – yes I acknowledge that guys (or the initiating poster of either sex when describing such situations) will present themselves in the best, or at least ‘least-insane,’ light, and I’m not implying any judgement on the realities of the relationship solely from one-sided reports.
[/quote]
Well my aunt is about a year and a half older than me and is finally in a relationship with a man who seems like a good man. I usually get this “ugh” feelings from the past guys and wonder what she’s thinking. I see this as her growing up finally. lol So yes in her case it has something to do with maturity. Unlike my mom(her sister) she takes after her dramatic mother, my mom takes after their stoic father. I always identify drama with immaturity.
My friend seems to think the fighting is normal and maybe that’s what she grew up with(we became friends when we were adults). She also has dated the men that make me go “ugh”. There seems to be some martyr thinking going on in the current relationship. :-/
So both just seem to always have the same romantic relationships(hopefully the aunt sticks with the current guy though).
Although I will say my friend is a great friend(that’s why it can be so upsetting being around them) and my aunt is hard working and loyal to the family. It’s like this is the only area they are not very good at. :-/
Not sure if that helps.
[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
…it’s her that slaps and slaps and then he finally hits back…
…taking exception with it being all blamed on them.
Oh and just so we’re clear my friend and aunt are the ones who ended up being more violently hurt than their men. They pushed them until they freaked. So I am blaming them for getting involved with men who were obvious looser. Obvious to me anyways.
[/quote]
They hit the dudes. They got hit back. They pushed them until they freaked. So it’s their fault that they got hit because they got involved with men who do not meet your expectations of masculenity who made them lose thier temper by not meating those expectations which than escalated to the “losers” losing tempers and hitting them back. These women didn’t get hit because they antagonized the shit out of, and physically attacked someone bigger, and stronger than them. They got hit because they dated losers. Wait… what?! Excuse me while my head explodes.
GENTLEMEN!
This is what women think about when they think you MIGHT hit them back. They don’t think “Oh fuck I’d best not hit him, he might hit me back”, they think “If he hits me, it’s only because he’s a loser”. If they respect you, you’re not a loser, so they’re safe to swing away, because a winner would never hit them back. If they don’t respect you they’ll hit you because you deserve it for being a loser. Either way, your getting hit, and no matter the outcome, it’s your fault, because she should have known better. Makes no sence, but hey, it is what it is. Keep calm, and carry on.[/quote]
The women are to blame for their behavior but do the men not get any responsibility for being in the relationship at all with a crazy person? Do they not contribute anything to the drama? Just innocent victims?
He chose to be with her and she with him. Both are fucked up! BOTH!
Your post is still confusing to me btw. Not even sure if I responded to it or not.
[/quote]
Every individual is 100% responsible for their own behaviour, especially when it comes to conduct that has been deemed unlawful. The whole point of making something illegal is to protect people from it - we say to EVERYONE “You’re not allowed to physically attack anyone”. That’s the law. The flip side to this is that everyone is told that no matter what they do, they’re supposed to be safe from physical violence. You don’t tell a bank “Hey you wouldn’t have gotten robbed if you didn’t have all that money sitting around”. They’re a bank, and they’re not supposed to be robbed. By the same token you don’t tell a person (of either gender) “Hey you wouldn’t have gotten hit if you weren’t x,y, or z”. Shits not suppposed to happen. Period. Now, you might point out that banks still have vaults, and that is an excellent point. Problem is that “banks” (men) are being raised to believe that they don’t need “vaults” because bank robbers (women) are to be worshipped on high as sugar and spice and everything nice. Not only that, but owning a vault in this case is a liability !
Now… every person is responsible for their own happiness. This however is NOT to be confused with being responsible for their own situation. Or if you prefer, you are responsible for how you play your hand, but not the hand your delt. If your house is blown over in a tornado, that is not your fault. Even if you live in an area where tornados are common it’s not. You don’t control the weather. Same thing here. If your being kicked in the head, it’s not your fault. Even if the person doing it is known to be as volatile as mother nature, it’s not your fault. Now, certainly at some point, you’ve got to start thinking about moving out of tornado valley, but when your family, friends, job, home, etc… are all there it’s a lot easier said than done. Same thing with something like this.
In the case of the video, unless I’m mistaken it said he had cheated on her. That is one of the most hurtful things anyone can do to anyone is it not? So if we assume for a moment that this is the first time he’s done it to her, and hence the most infuriating thing he’s ever done to her, I don’t think it’s unreasonable that this might be the first time she’s been this way. Not only that, but just like any other abusive person, every time they do it is always “the last time”. Nobody ever blackens their lover’s eye, and the next day says “next time I’ll hit you harder !”. It’s “I’m so sorry, that’ll never happen again, I love you.”. And they invariably get the benefit of the doubt. Not only for the friends, family, hard to move on shit, but because as body gaurd eluded to, there tends to be a degree of inhibition, passion, etc… that can be very intoxicating (not just in the bedroom either). I.E. I want to move so that I stop getting tornadod, but everything important to me is here, and it’s so beautiful, and the wether report says there won’t be anymore tornados, so I guess it’ll be ok.
In any event, you specifically said “I am blaming them for getting involved with obvious losers”, which is a sentance which immediatly removes the blame from your aunt and friend and places it squarely on the men they hit for apperently being pussys (losers). This is ignorant.
The women are to blame for hitting their men. Their men are to blame for hitting them back. We have rules against hitting, and there aren’t exceptions for when people piss you off by not living up to your expectations. Now, maybe they should leave each other. Than agian, maybe they’ve got reasons to stay. But the thing of it is that NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO, THERE YOU ARE! You don’t stop robbing banks, by stopping your attendance at the bank. You don’t stop being a psycho bitch or jack ass by getting a new partner. You have to take responsibility for yourself, and fix what’s wrong with you. Not escape what’s wrong with you by finding someone else. If you’ve got a rage problem and you start hitting your partner because of shit they do, you don’t ditch that person and find someone less infuriating. There’s always going to be something to piss you off, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But healthy experssions of that anger are your responsibility. Not someone elses. And the people you hurt in the mean time are not to blame for YOUR actions.
Now, again, you can say that the person geting hit should leave, and than they won’t get hit anymore. Except that’s not neccesarily true, and if they stay it’s generally for a reason. I would challenge anyone claiming that they wouldn’t take this, or wouldn’t take that, that you most certainly would if the right circumstances presented themselves. These circumstances will be differnet for everyone, but as a good starting point, if there’s anything you’d kill for / die for, there’s something you’d eat a shit sandwhich for / put up with a crazy bitch for. It’s not for you and I to decide what’s a good enough reason for each other, but that’s just the thing. If there’s a reason to put up with being hit, and we can’t say it’s not good enough, but we DO say you shouldn’t be hit (because it’s the law) than it’s sure as shit a good reason to stay because we already said “YOU SHOULDN’T BE HIT”.
Again, it’s not the german jew’s fault he got thrown in an oven, it’s not the redneck’s fault his trailer home blew away, and it’s not this guys fault he took a couple slaps, and a couple boots. The shits not supposed to happen, and the forcast was most assuredly for blue skys.
[/quote]
You got cliff notes for this post?
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]simpstr1 wrote:
You got cliff notes for this post?
[/quote]
Each and every one of us is responsible for our own behavior.[/quote]
Including who you choose to have a relationship with.
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
dude, we get it. you got fucked over in some domestic violence situation(s). but do you really expect people to read this wall of text? i thought i was long winded. [/quote]
It’s not about me, and no I don’t expect people to read a long winded post. I don’t even think they read the short ones.
[quote]simpstr1 wrote:
You got cliff notes for this post?
[/quote]
-People are responsible for their own behaviour.
-People are not responsible for CRIMES commited against them.
-Blaming someone for someone else’s criminal behaviour perpetrated against them is a dick move regardless of the race, gender, etc… of the perpetrator, and victim.
-It’s not unreasonable to think that this video might represent the first physical violence in this relationship when given the apperent motive.
-People of either gender who do stay in a relationship with someone who’s hit them before often do so under the hope / assumption that it won’t happen again, and the belief that it’s worth their percieved risk.
-Their perception of the low risk vs. potentially high reward does not make them responsible for the potential consequences WHERE THE LAW FORBIDS THOSE CONSEQUENCES, and thus supposedly gaurentees their safety.
bitch got jail time.
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
bitch got jail time.
Happy ending/
[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Unless she uses a baseball bat or a tire iron I would not lift a finger.
The same way I would not intervene if a grown man is attacked by a Chihuahua.[/quote]
THIS
The whole “what if it were a man beating on a woman” discussion is ridiculous. Obviously people don’t feel the need to intervene because it’s assumed that a man can stop the assault any time he wants it to stop. A woman is pretty much at the mercy of her attacker. The man is not in serious danger unless the female is using a weapon.[/quote]
THIS!
This guy was a total pussy, definitely desserved what he got!
Did the Mc Donald’s heifers get jail time?
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Did the Mc Donald’s heifers get jail time?[/quote]
They were indicted in December. Case apparently still winding its way thru the court. No trial or plea that I can see yet.
[quote]Berserkergang wrote:
[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Unless she uses a baseball bat or a tire iron I would not lift a finger.
The same way I would not intervene if a grown man is attacked by a Chihuahua.[/quote]
THIS
The whole “what if it were a man beating on a woman” discussion is ridiculous. Obviously people don’t feel the need to intervene because it’s assumed that a man can stop the assault any time he wants it to stop. A woman is pretty much at the mercy of her attacker. The man is not in serious danger unless the female is using a weapon.[/quote]
THIS!
This guy was a total pussy, definitely desserved what he got!
[/quote]
Your comment does not exactly match up with that which you are ‘THIS!’-ing. They are merely saying the man would only see the need to really defend himself if she brandished a weapon, not that he is a pussy for not lifting a finger in his own defense.
In fact, it can be inferred that the two people involved in your quote would react in such a way as the man in the video did, because they both see a weaponless woman as a non-threat.
[quote]red04 wrote:
[quote]Berserkergang wrote:
[quote]Steel Nation wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Unless she uses a baseball bat or a tire iron I would not lift a finger.
The same way I would not intervene if a grown man is attacked by a Chihuahua.[/quote]
THIS
The whole “what if it were a man beating on a woman” discussion is ridiculous. Obviously people don’t feel the need to intervene because it’s assumed that a man can stop the assault any time he wants it to stop. A woman is pretty much at the mercy of her attacker. The man is not in serious danger unless the female is using a weapon.[/quote]
THIS!
This guy was a total pussy, definitely desserved what he got!
[/quote]
Your comment does not exactly match up with that which you are ‘THIS!’-ing. They are merely saying the man would only see the need to really defend himself if she brandished a weapon, not that he is a pussy for not lifting a finger in his own defense.
In fact, it can be inferred that the two people involved in your quote would react in such a way as the man in the video did, because they both see a weaponless woman as a non-threat.[/quote]
I thought that too at first, but the people he is quoting are speaking as bystanders, not as the actual victims.