Yeah, definitely get back in the game. It sucks when someone you cared about moves on before you do… it not only makes you angry in a possessive sort of way, it also gets you in a “she won” sort of way. But look, make sure you go out on some dates, even with girls you might not have considered before. Once you’re out of the game, it’s hard to get back in. Then, next thing you know, it’s been four years and you’re going “Hey, wait… what happened, again?”
Tone, you’ve gotten some great advice so far, but there’s one other avenue to consider.
When you go in there, you probably order from the hostess, right? Well, next time see if you can’t figure out which area your girl is working. Hopefully it’s the bar, but even if not, go sit in her section. When she comes over, casually say something like “I’m usually in here on Saturday; I see you here all the time. I’m Tony.” Shake hands, smile, whatever.
Have a beer or something while you’re waiting. I know Appleby’s and it’s so casual there, I don’t think you need to worry about looking like a table-for-one loser (especially since you’re ordering it to go). They’ve got tv’s and newspapers there too, so even if you don’t get a chance to talk to her, you’ll at least have something to do.
Don’t push it too much, but maybe kid around a little, ask her what’s good on the menu, etc. Anything to get her talking to you. Then get your food, say goodbye and leave.
There. You’ve laid some perfect ground-work for the next time you see her and you can ask her out from there. This would also give you a better idea of what she’s like (hell, she could be a bitch-on-wheels for all you know).
Just keep in mind that if you go full-bore on the first try (ask her out, for her number, etc.) and it doesn’t go well, you might be feeling like finding a new place to dine afterwards. You play it causally and a little slower and it’s no big thing.
Just my two pesos…
Tony:
I know what you are going through. there are a couple of things to remember and one is - The world is full of beautiful, fun women. Don’t get too obsessed over any one. Also, a website that really helped me was www.doubleyourdating.com. This guy has a free newsletter and his techniques really work. I was a shy guy and he helped turn me around. He goes for what he calls “cocky & funny”. Bust balls and have fun and women really like it. I am not connected to the site in any way. You should check it out.
Now for my advice on how to get over a chick who dumped you.
FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY.
Now about your ex…see if you can make a nice picture of her in your mind, got it? Now add about 75 lbs (or more), make her nice and fat with a big ass busting out of her tight pants, boobs all sagging down, big rolly gut, couple of chins. now add just a hint of a mustache. When she smiles you notice how her teeth are a weird shade of yellowish-grey. You can add anything else including: acne, losing her hair, hairy arms, bad breath, smelly feet, hairy legs and/or armpits, fungus in her fingernails, a very distinct odor from “down below”. If you can hear her voice have it be a whiny, grating voice or have a really obnoxious accent. Have her fart and burb a lot, too. Also her clothes should be old, too tight and sloppy. You are tying to make her revolting. Take as long as you need to make her look, sound, smell awful. Now, start with the real picture and slowly morph her into the hag you created. See how your feelings change? DO this a couple of times, just like it was a movie. And on the last time have the picture get all dark and fuzzy and just fade away. Do this and you will get over this chick. Also, if you ever think of her in the future, like the time you went to the lake for a picnic, make sure you make the picture of her be the ugly hag and you won’t feel the same way about her. This is like the reverse of Shallow Hal movie. Take some time now to run through this in your mind and it will make a difference. Its gauranteed.
Good Luck, Mike
Tony,I can assure you that your feelings for your ex will change in time,and as cliched as that may sound it is true.
In January last year my ex was off work with depression,one of the reasons behind this was she was so unhappy at her job in the bank.
So to cut a long story short,I helped her get a new career as a trainee Paramedic,and after being in a relationship for three years I was dumped within six weeks of her starting her new job.
And it was an even bigger kick in the teeth when she started dating her supervisor at work.
At the time I went through all those same feelings you are having,but they do change and eventually subside.Yes I do still think about my ex eight months later,but with no pain or longing to get back together.
Hope this helps,good luck.
El Tigre, my man, I think tonite is an Applebee’s night;-) I think I promoted Unstoppable Confidence a few days ago, so hopefully you’ve been toying around with it. Did you grow that sac yet?
It’s great to get the great feedback from Ms. Eddie Vedder (i.e. Pearl Jam Fan). It’s very helpful.
I do kind of like your idea of inquiring about the waitress you have your eye on within the Bartender.
But, El Tigre, this isn’t elementary school anymore. You’ve got to crank it up–just like you would in the gym–and make your own moves.
I’m telling you that eye contact is key. Be not afraid, young man. She’ll melt in El Tigre’s eyes. The power of the wink and the smile is underestimated.
Again, I think introducing yourself and starting a little conversation would be nice. Follow it up by asking if you could take her out sometime. She’ll no doubt say certainly and then you’ll get some digits. Dial in, El Tigre!
T-Diddy,
No doubt…Ms. Eddie Vedder knows her shit down to a tee. She is giving our ol’ pal Karma a run for her money I think…;o) No Applebee’s tonight though. Probably more like Saturday. I can feel my “sac” growing as the days pass…haha. It’s kinda funny to think that I have all these people whom I have never met rooting for me…haha. IF and I stress IF she is there the next time I go in, I will atleast make an effort to say hello. “Hi my name is El Tigre and I just wanted to say that you have the most amazing ass…uh, I mean eyes I have ever seen.”…HAHA. Of coarse I am kidding. But I def need to get the ball rollin. Maybe I could walk up to her and puff my chest out (ala Tommy Boy) and ask her where the weightroom is??..(wink wink). No seriously, I will be the gentleman and just say hello and wait till next week when I walk in.
Oh, and Timbo…I have been talking with Brent A. Nelson about his “Oppurtunity” program…I need to pm ya cause I have a few questions I need to run by ya.
Bigprljamfan…thanks for the pm’s. I will respond tomorrow to what you wrote in your last pm to me. Don’t be giving away our little secret…haha.
See what happens when I get laid up for a couple of weeks? Another reasonably levelheaded female steps up to the plate. Gotta love that!
Tony G, you’ve gotten more advice than you could possibly use. Bottom line, be a freakin’ man about it! Quit overthinking, over strategizing, over analyzing, over complicating it! Just grab your balls and do whatever the fuck comes naturally. 
I have some disappointing news (sigh). I did go to Applebee’s over the weekend and she was there…but alas, it was VERY crowded and our “paths” didn’t cross. Oh well…maybe next week…;o) Thanks for all the advice people…and Karma, its nice to have you back. I was sweatin bullets when I saw that you responded to this post…thanks for taking it easy on me…haha.
You should have made your paths cross. You’re wasting time. Time is your most precious commodity. Remember that you won’t always have the perfect scenario of you here, her here, low turnout at the grub shack. It’s often you here, her there, grub shack packed. At times like these, it’s necessary to call an audible. Find a way to talk to her. Fuck, man, spill a beer on a big dude or something and get into a fight. She’ll be sure to find her way to you.
Also, Tony, could she have perhaps seen you from across the restaurant? If she saw you, even from a distance, while she was bringing onion rings and a chicken fajita to some fat 12 year-old, she’s now thinking that you didn’t make any effort to see her. Whether or not she’s the type of gal that will be “intrigued” by that, I don’t know, but I think most women like guys who take the initiative.
I know I am a disappointment. I should be beaten upside the head and have some sense knocked into me…;o) I AM a mother fucking t-man for crying out loud!!! Self confidence is the issue. Jeez…I wish you could buy that stuff in a bottle…;o) Thanks for all the advice people…I have gotten more than enough. Now I need to sac up and put it to use. “Atleast I don’t have weasels in my pants” “I am a mother fucking t-man” She is just a little baby fawn, and I’m like this bear with big fucking claws. (ala from the movie Swingers).
CMC: AUDIBLE!! YES! Red 88, red 88! lol…
Tony G: Fuck, man. There are no weasels in your pants… and I’m starting to question if there’s clanging, brass balls either. C’mon! Do I have to threaten revocation of your man card or what? Nice call on that Swingers line - now put it to mother fucking use!