So I recently moved to a different area, and in with a few random people. My friends list at the moment is bleak at best, just made friends with the friends of my house mates. Now one of these friends took a interest in me and initiated a littles more.
Skip a few months we became friends with benefits, I stipulated it had to be this because I didn’t know how long I would be around for. I also had to reemphasise it a few times as I thought she was hoping for more (she kind of was). It caused a few little moments but we always moved on quickly.
She has decided she is off on holiday for two months in two weeks. Now I found out from another person and it kind of made me realise I do like her more than first thought. I brought this up with her but this time we didn’t just move on. She is still going away and said after a lot if thought, it would be best to stop.
Now I have done what she has asked and moved on from those feelings for now and I am fine with that, the issue is it looks like she can’t even be my friend… I texted her the next day and got a limited response, I called her out on it and asked if she is cutting me out completely, which she replied “I can’t even say, I deffs just need time ATM. I’m just so overwhelmed”.
Now I’ve left it for now but I’m pretty worried I’ve lost my best mate?
Should I just completely leave it until she initiates contact, even if thats not even till she gets back? Or approach her in a week?
Sorry if I’m being stupid but could you just clarify - are you looking to be in a relationship with her or just to be friends again?
I’m no expert by any means but I’d say, if you really like her and your goal is a relationship, you’re probably best off trying contact again in a week.
2 and a bit months is a long time. Both for her to move on and for you to stew not knowing where you stand. If you try again in a week and she gives you a definite no (not saying she will!), you’ll at least be able to move on.
Again, I’m sure there are plenty of other people on here far more qualified than me, just saying what I would do. Best of luck.
[quote]furo wrote:
Sorry if I’m being stupid but could you just clarify - are you looking to be in a relationship with her or just to be friends again?
I’m no expert by any means but I’d say, if you really like her and your goal is a relationship, you’re probably best off trying contact again in a week.
2 and a bit months is a long time. Both for her to move on and for you to stew not knowing where you stand. If you try again in a week and she gives you a definite no (not saying she will!), you’ll at least be able to move on.
Again, I’m sure there are plenty of other people on here far more qualified than me, just saying what I would do. Best of luck.[/quote]
The relationship bit is over, that I am ok with.
I just dont get why she wont get over it so we can be mates. What does she need time for?
[quote]The relationship bit is over, that I am ok with.
I just dont get why she wont get over it so we can be mates. What does she need time for?[/quote]
Oh right ok. Well I can’t help other than to say that girls often do just need a long time to get over things like this. I imagine she did have strong feelings for you (no matter if she said otherwise) and it takes girls a long time to get over stuff like that.
I know this isn’t helping at all. I think the fact is she just needs time and I’m afraid there’s not much you can do about that.
[quote]furo wrote:
Sorry if I’m being stupid but could you just clarify - are you looking to be in a relationship with her or just to be friends again?
I’m no expert by any means but I’d say, if you really like her and your goal is a relationship, you’re probably best off trying contact again in a week.
2 and a bit months is a long time. Both for her to move on and for you to stew not knowing where you stand. If you try again in a week and she gives you a definite no (not saying she will!), you’ll at least be able to move on.
Again, I’m sure there are plenty of other people on here far more qualified than me, just saying what I would do. Best of luck.[/quote]
The relationship bit is over, that I am ok with.
I just dont get why she wont get over it so we can be mates. What does she need time for?
[/quote]
I am a complete incompetent regarding women and relationships.
Nonetheless, I think I am qualified to point out that “benefits” have a very strong and lasting emotional impact on some people, while having a much less strong and less lasting emotional impact on other people. Surely any reasonably intelligent person is capable of understanding that, at least in an abstract sense.