@whang I’ll keep my log updated with all my test results. Do you have any explanation for bloating/inability to pass gas affecting urinary capabilities?
@roscop12 thanks. I’m hoping the laxative flush I did a few days ago got rid of ALL my bacteria; and now I’m just supplementing with good bacteria to replace the bad stuff.
You’ve probably already clarified this, but why have you decided that the nutritionist is a quack?
He’s claimed to be able to assist in curing AIDS, cancer, and IBD. I also have noticed zero difference from his supplements, barring the probiotics/enzymes (and the CBD oil, which he’s suggested). I was drinking and brushing my teeth with montmorillionite clay in an attempt to heal my gut. I was also taking a compound derived from red algae. Needless to say…neither of those things did much.
Oh yeah, and he’s also anti-vaccine.
Mmm-hmm, NEXT. Find a traditional nutritionist, one who isn’t selling product.
Yeah. That is my goal.
Hey man. I’ll try to go through your log so to minimize being redundant about things before I ask. Might not be able to finish it in one sitting though
I know there’s a lot here, don’t worry about anything. Are you a doctor or in medical school?
Update: feeling a little better. Eliminating nuts was the right move.
I don’t know that much (so grain of salt)
but n=1, raw pineapple makes my stomach feel like shit. It apparently contains an enzyme that digests meat (so that’s why recipes use it to marinade meats)
*Bromelian
I can’t eat it, either. Makes my stomach feel like it’s on fire. Pineapple is the only thing I can’t eat.
@alex44938 @EmilyQ we’re not missing much, thankfully.
In other, positive news: I drafted up the proposal for my weightlifting club.
Participants of the Weightlifting Club will be introduced to the Big Four Compound Barbell Movements: namely, the barbell back squat, trap bar deadlift/barbell deadlift, the Olympic Press, and the barbell bench press. They will be expected to follow a program in which they have the capacity to make steady, visible progress on these basic lifts. Participants will also have the option of competing in powerlifting or strongman competitions held either within the club and its participants or within the local NYC area. They will be accountable for the fees necessary to register for meets held outside of the club, if they so choose to attend. The club will be held in the football weight room located in the Boys’ Locker Room 2x/week, and will be held in Xaverian’s general fitness center once per week. The expected length of each session will range from an hour to an hour and a half, but of course if participants have other obligations they can leave whenever they choose to do so.
They will be expected to respect the weight room and its equipment, and to stay away from other lifters while they have a bar in their hands or on their back. They will also be expected to bring their all to the weight room every time they make the decision to attend a session: the only way to see progress and benefit from all that weightlifting has to offer is to bring your best efforts to the bar.
I had the idea to create this club in my freshman year of high school, and I regret not speaking up about my idea earlier in my high school career. Weightlifting has been and continues to be an essential part of my life for a number of years; and I cannot measure the value it has had and will continue to have in improving my self-esteem and general outlook. I wanted to make this club a reality so I could help spread the iron bug to some of my peers; and hopefully those who join us will eventually come to love the sport as much or more than I do. Guys and girls are welcome! Please direct message @joe.fallon16 on Instagram or email pvargas@xaverian.org for more information or with any questions you may have.
Please feel free to suggest anything you’d elaborate upon or improve.
Alright. Shitty workout because I feel like garbage after a stressful, sleepless week. I expected it. But I got blood moving and I guess that’s what matters.
Squats
45 x 2 x 5
135 x 5
185 x 3
210, 245, 275 x 5
245, 210 x 5
New solution to solving my problems: not talking about them because discussing them just makes it worse. I felt better when I didn’t have to acknowledge the fact that I don’t have control over my situation. Operation Stay Distracted and shut everyone out is in operation, because it works for me. If I stay out of the house long enough every day, maybe I’ll get fewer stress stomachaches too. Who knows? Let’s try it.
But, the one problem I can’t seem to get over is being too depressed to enjoy literally anything. I don’t enjoy being with my girlfriend (although I’m barely allowed to see her and as such haven’t seen her in 3 weeks), seeing new things, learning new stuff, or even weightlifting. It all seems like such a chore that I have to slog through; even though I know I should take more enjoyment in the things I listed above. I know I’m gonna lose my girlfriend too, because I know I’m not there for her enough because I’m too tired and busy dealing with my own pile of shit. It kills me that I’m not mentally adept enough to deal with my shit and be there for her, because my own method of coping - apathy and workaholism - makes it impossible for me to showcase any genuine emotion (besides anger, of course) towards anybody. At my core, I think I’m a really uncaring, selfish, and apathetic person. I don’t like that about myself, but I’ve grown into being this person from years of being burned and mistreated. I still hold doors open and help old ladies carry their stuff up the stairs, but selfless acts are really foreign to me. I don’t see the value in sacrificing myself for other people, especially when the numbers say that person most likely isn’t going to be in your life for much longer anyway. Everyone in my life has burned me at some point or another, without exception. Emotions are exhausting, and I’d rather drown myself in work and focus on accomplishing tangible goals than deal with my inner toxicities and selfish thoughts. It’s like I have two separate personalities — one wants to fight and get better and the other one wants me to kill myself and completely give up. There’s this little voice in my head that literally replaces what I’m thinking with negative shit, and my brain goes down the rabbit hole from there. I can’t control it, and honestly it scares the daylights out of me because I know it’s there but I just can’t stop myself. It switches on and off pretty randomly. @EmilyQ, thoughts? I don’t know what to do in the interim of me getting help.
Why not?
Parents hate her and me.
Move out… I did and it’s the best thing I could have done for my life
I’m really considering it Duke.
You may not know what’s going on with you physically, but I can tell you for certain that you’re clinically depressed and need to treat it. Given the severity of it, I think medication is in order, though of course ask your doctor. Studies show that doing both medication and therapy in concert is more effective than either alone for moderate-severe depression. Just as things spiral negatively - I’m depressed and unhappy so I blow off doing things I should or want to do, then I can’t stop beating myself up over it, then I can’t sleep because I’m up stressing so feel like physical shit on top of mental, etc - things can spiral positively. I feel okay, so I plan a date and it goes well, so I feel happy and do something nice for a stranger, then sleep pretty well and wake up ready for the day, etc.
Therapy is where the distorted thinking (I’m a monster) and family issues are addressed, which then opens the door to self-esteem work. Do I like and respect myself? If I met me as a stranger, would I like me?
But first you have to get the depression treated. Call your regular doctor and tell them you need a sick visit, or whatever they call it when you need to be seen right away. My former employer was a primary care center, and we had (obviously) therapists in-house. If it’s really bad and you feel you can’t control it, go to the ER.
Depression symptoms:
Mood: anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or sadness
Sleep: early awakening, excess sleepiness, insomnia, or restless sleep
Whole body: excessive hunger, fatigue, loss of appetite, or restlessness
Behavioral: agitation, excessive crying, irritability, or social isolation
Cognitive: lack of concentration, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide
Weight: weight gain or weight loss
Also common: poor appetite or repeatedly going over thoughts
Think long and hard and plan it but I think it will help you alot
For your drafted proposal, I highly recommend developing your system of government NOW rather than later. Otherwise, you run the risk of someone taking your own club from you.
When I made my MMA club, it was an authoritarian dictatorship, yet read like it was legit. I wrote that the club’s founder would elect a president, and that the president would have a vice-president, ALSO appointed by the founder, in order to provide a second viewpoint. In the event of a split decision, the founder would be called upon to cast the final vote. The president would have the authority to appoint their own replacement.
Then, I made myself president (as the founder) and my wife vice-president. When I left the club, I appointed my friend. No elections, no mess.
@EmilyQ I know what you mean about spiraling into a negative, bottomless hole…I think about how my stomach is messed up and then I think about how half the time I can’t even make my girlfriend happy physically because of that and THEN I beat myself up over not being able to man up enough to just deal with my own insecurities and focus my energy on her happiness. Then, my personality (in a sense) shifts to one of apathy, and I get this idea in my head that I should convince her to break up with me or break things off myself because she deserves to be with someone who isn’t as fucked up as I am. My negative thoughts are SO self-destructive because to me they make so much logical sense. Luckily, she’s seen right through my negative spirals and has recognized that I need psychiatric help. To be honest if I was in her situation I don’t know if I’d stick around. I’d hope I would, but eventually I’d just get fed up with it and leave. And I know that’s how she’s feeling.
And yeah. I know medicine would help me along with a lot of therapy and counseling; because I basically made my girlfriend my psychiatrist last night and it did not work out well. I told her I didn’t wanna talk about my insecurities and inner thoughts until I got help, but she kept pushing the issue so I just told her everything I knew she didn’t wanna hear. She saw that part of me I’ve kept under wraps — that part of me that thinks love is a complete sham, that death is preferable to living, and that selfish and apathetic part of me. My brain took over and I shut down every attempt of hers to bring me back to reality. I feel like I’m too intelligent or experienced to believe her, at least sometimes (and when it comes to her telling me that things get better). We’ve resolved the issue, but those kinds of exchanges can’t keep happening.
Also, I really don’t sleep well at night. I’m generally up 5-6 times a night; not even thinking about shit, just not being able to fall back asleep right away. I’m used to it now, but my symptoms have definitely gotten worse over the last year or so.
@T3hPwnisher why should there even be a system of government? I’m the founder and president, and I elect someone to be my Vice President and sidekick. No elections, no nothing. I’m only in high school for another year. I’ll leave it up to everyone else to support the club when I’m gone.