Trainer: Thrust your hips. Thrust your hips! THRUST YOUR HIPS! LIKE YOU FUCKIN PAID FOR IT!!! I love my gym.
Both quotes the big boss at my gym:
me- so when is the seated calf machine coming back?"
boss- prob not for ages, dont worry, its useless it only targets ur soleus, a posteral muscle, so training it wont help much, ur better off doing something else
me- blank stare"
me- so whens the hamstring curl machine coming back?
boss- dont know, but if u want a real good hamstring workout, get a fitball, lay on ur back, put ur feet up on it and move it forwards and back.
me- *blank stare"
[quote]polo77j wrote:
HynesKetchup wrote:
countingbeans wrote:
HynesKetchup wrote:
Strike a nerve much? It’s relevant for the hilarious visual you get.
My son is half Southeast Asian, oops I mean Brown.
So yes you did strike a nerve you ignorant little fuck.
The only visual I get is how red your neck is. Fucking moron.
I’m sorry was I talking about your son? No? Then piss off, I live in Canada, not some backwater Southern US state.
So…based on your logic…there’s not such thing as ignorance in Canada? HEY EVERYONE NOT LIVING IN SOME SOUTHERN US STATE. YOU ARE NOT IGNORANT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR SAY. IT ONLY EXISTS IN THE US SOUTH.
PROCEED TO REFER TO PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT ETHNIC BACKGROUND BY THE MOST DISPARAGING, VILE TERM YOU CAN THINK OF AS NOW YOU WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED IGNORANT BY ANY OTHER PERSON. AND IF YOU ARE, THEN THEY ARE WRONG BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT FROM THE US SOUTH. OH HAPPY DAYS HAVE COME AT LAST!!
Douche[/quote]
As far as I know the term “Red Neck” is associated with the States, not Canada. If you want to diss us, call us hosers, hehe
[quote]countingbeans wrote:
HynesKetchup wrote:
countingbeans wrote:
HynesKetchup wrote:
Strike a nerve much? It’s relevant for the hilarious visual you get.
My son is half Southeast Asian, oops I mean Brown.
So yes you did strike a nerve you ignorant little fuck.
The only visual I get is how red your neck is. Fucking moron.
I’m sorry was I talking about your son? No? Then piss off, I live in Canada, not some backwater Southern US state.
I didn’t used to believe people could honestly be this ignorant. I mean it is fucking 2009.
Then I started reading GAL…
Don’t worry ketchupbottleinmyass, there are plenty of other ignorant dumbfucks around here that you can have your weekly meetings with. In fact I believe there is a thread just below this one where you can find some of your brothers shining bright.[/quote]
Dude(s), its the fucking internet. What do you expect? Am I supposed to get offended now that you called him a redneck because I’m white? You didn’t get uptight when the one guy dropped the nbomb in this thread. But we only speak up for our own kind, right? (im just trying to start shit 
)
On topic: at the gym there were two guys standing around doing curls and tri-kick backs.
guy 1: so what do you wanna eat when we’re done?
guy 2: nothing, i get too bloated and feel as if i ruined all the gains in the gym
guy 1: really? I guess that kinda does make sense…
[quote]HynesKetchup wrote:
Or another time at the LA Fitness I now go to; I’m doing chest with my brother and we are just starting on Flat Bench, when this brown guy comes up to our bench and oblivious to the fact that we are there, starts unracking our weight. I’m just like “Umm we are using this.” Shocked, he apologizes and leaves to go do something else. My brother and I finish our sets and go to the chest press machine and he’s using it, I ask him how many sets he has left, he says 3, then chirps in with this gem:
“Funny how that works, you were using my machine, now I’m using yours and you have to wait.”
Oh I’m sorry champ, I didn’t realize that bench had your name on it. Haha[/quote]
If this is the “funniest thing said during workouts” you might have the worst sense of humor ever.
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
I over heard a kid at the gym ask a guy squatting 405, when he was rock bottom, “Hey, does that work your back or something?” They guy paused and yelled “Fucking DIE!!” at the top of his lungs coming out of the hole. I collapsed in almost tears, as the kid semi-jogged to the door and left the gym. [/quote]
This…is…AWEEEESOMMMMMMMMMEEEEEE!!
[quote]ucallthatbass wrote:
I over heard a kid at the gym ask a guy squatting 405, when he was rock bottom, “Hey, does that work your back or something?” They guy paused and yelled “Fucking DIE!!” at the top of his lungs coming out of the hole. I collapsed in almost tears, as the kid semi-jogged to the door and left the gym. [/quote]
that’s just awesome. i would love to see that in my gym.
[quote]jtrinsey wrote:
HynesKetchup wrote:
Or another time at the LA Fitness I now go to; I’m doing chest with my brother and we are just starting on Flat Bench, when this brown guy comes up to our bench and oblivious to the fact that we are there, starts unracking our weight. I’m just like “Umm we are using this.” Shocked, he apologizes and leaves to go do something else. My brother and I finish our sets and go to the chest press machine and he’s using it, I ask him how many sets he has left, he says 3, then chirps in with this gem:
“Funny how that works, you were using my machine, now I’m using yours and you have to wait.”
Oh I’m sorry champ, I didn’t realize that bench had your name on it. Haha
If this is the “funniest thing said during workouts” you might have the worst sense of humor ever.
[/quote]
That or nothing that hilarious happens at my gym. 
[quote]HynesKetchup wrote:
polo77j wrote:
HynesKetchup wrote:
countingbeans wrote:
HynesKetchup wrote:
Strike a nerve much? It’s relevant for the hilarious visual you get.
My son is half Southeast Asian, oops I mean Brown.
So yes you did strike a nerve you ignorant little fuck.
The only visual I get is how red your neck is. Fucking moron.
I’m sorry was I talking about your son? No? Then piss off, I live in Canada, not some backwater Southern US state.
So…based on your logic…there’s not such thing as ignorance in Canada? HEY EVERYONE NOT LIVING IN SOME SOUTHERN US STATE. YOU ARE NOT IGNORANT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO OR SAY. IT ONLY EXISTS IN THE US SOUTH.
PROCEED TO REFER TO PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT ETHNIC BACKGROUND BY THE MOST DISPARAGING, VILE TERM YOU CAN THINK OF AS NOW YOU WILL NOT BE CONSIDERED IGNORANT BY ANY OTHER PERSON. AND IF YOU ARE, THEN THEY ARE WRONG BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT FROM THE US SOUTH. OH HAPPY DAYS HAVE COME AT LAST!!
Douche
As far as I know the term “Red Neck” is associated with the States, not Canada. If you want to diss us, call us hosers, hehe
[/quote]
I didn’t call you a red neck, you hoser, I called you a douche … and THAT’S universal.
But enough with the who called who what and when … I like this thread too damn much to taint it with bickering … have a good day
‘‘Never do less than 8 rep on any exercise’’
‘‘you are gonna hurt yourself with all that weight’’ (At the time I was deadlifting 3plates)
[quote]bonerjams98 wrote:
A year ago I was doing weighted pull ups with a dip belt and a 45 plate after I finished my set this old guy walks up to me and asked “does that contraption make your penis longer?” I was so caught off guard I couldnt think of a thing to say [/quote]
Just in case someone EVER asks you that weird question again, I have a pat answer for you to use:
“HELL YEAH. 3 more inches and it’ll be a foot and a half.” Either that or say, “Bend over and find out.”
i was squatting deep with perfect form
lanky tiny senior-you need to go deeper when your squatting
me a sophomore-umm how about you show me. “me knowing he cant”
lanky tiny senior-walks away showed up by a sophomore
haha
Girl sitting on an exercise ball doing dumbell presses with 5 pound dumbells.
Her personnal trainer says: “that’ll put some muscle on your shoulders”.
Girl drops 5 pound dumbells like hot potatoes, runs to the dumbell rack and gets 2 pound dumbells and runs back to her exercise ball and finishes her set.
This is funny but not funny stupid actually funny.
So me and my buddy Billy use to lift together years ago at this little health club.We were ussually the only guys in the weight area while the cardio floor was right next to the weights with no wall or seperation.Well acouple times a week they would do this quiet yoga and turn the lights off so Billy and I had to be quiet.
So we are doing DB bench and the bench was right next to the woman doing the yoga so we (More like me) were really trying to be quiet.Well it was my set and im benching like the 60’s and billy is sitting there looking at all these fat woman in the downward dog position and he whispers “wanna go cow tipping” I look over and see these heffers on all fours and drop the weights which is loud as shit then get up laughing histerically and have to leave the gym.
we still laugh about it to this day.
[quote]dswithers wrote:
Girl sitting on an exercise ball doing dumbell presses with 5 pound dumbells.
Her personnal trainer says: “that’ll put some muscle on your shoulders”.
Girl drops 5 pound dumbells like hot potatoes, runs to the dumbell rack and gets 2 pound dumbells and runs back to her exercise ball and finishes her set.[/quote]
calmly gets up from chair, walks over to the nearest living thing, and kills it
Poor Chubbycakes, he was a good hamster, but something had to pay after reading that.
[quote]HynesKetchup wrote:
artw wrote:
I was going for a bench PR once and my buddy was spotting me. He starts grabbing the bar before I even really start pressing it, so I tell him, louder than I meant to, “I’ve got it! Don’t touch it you fag!” Two seconds later, “Fuck! I don’t got it.” My buddy: “Fuck you, you fag. Lift that shit”, and he walks away with me stuck with 275 on the bar on my chest.
Hahahaha Time to find a new spotter. 
[/quote]
New spotter? hell no, thats an awesome spotter. the strong survive haha.
nah but really, dont let your training partner die. as soon as they are safe, commence verbally ripping their manhood apart. favorite phrase: get the fuckin sand out of your vagina and lift that shit"
OK I have a couple, but I think I’m really funny.
Trainer from the gym walks up to me standing over a 50lb db. Asks what I’m doing. “One arm, neutral grip, db floor press.” he says, “oh yeah? what’s that?”
I’m doing 1 arm db rows and a local brotard is taking a break from curling. I look up bc I see something move, and I said, “wilbur, get your ass out of my face.” (I dont, to this day, know what his real name is. But he never corrected me when I called him wilbur.) He said, “I’m tryin to block you. You’re making me look bad, lifting heavy like that.” (80lb db) I said, “It wouldn’t be so easy if you’d work harder.”
Saw wilbur for the third time in a row at the same time i was there. “Wilbur, this is the third time this week I’ve seen you doing chest and bi’s. Do you ever work your legs?” “No, see, I always get really sore after I do…” “Wilbur you look like you’re riding a chicken. You’re supposed to kill it and grill it, not saddle it.”
how do you spell simon? WTF?
This guy was texting between sets of bench. Nobhead didn’t put the weights back neither. Anyone else hate these selfish bastards?
Guy lifting with two beginners says…“if you want to look like me, you have to do push-ups every morning when you wake up, and tricep dips. You do that and you’ll be out lifting everyone here…”
Me and Training Partners look at each other…OHH REALLY!!!
[quote]D-Nasty wrote:
Guy lifting with two beginners says…“if you want to look like me, you have to do push-ups every morning when you wake up, and tricep dips. You do that and you’ll be out lifting everyone here…”
Me and Training Partners look at each other…OHH REALLY!!![/quote]
Not to be a buzzkill, but actually, most guys do suck at bodyweight exercises and doing them does help you learn your body and how it feels and works. A lot of guys are strong as hell with weights but cannot do 10 pushups or pullups and you can forget a handstand pushup or a one armed pushup. It’s not like the guy was saying that’s should be all they do.
And I apologize if I sound like I am being a jerk. Bodyweight exercises have always seemed to help me improve on my lifts.