[quote]Sxio wrote:
BrwnbellyYankee wrote:
- back when i used to attend church,
You did all that shit at you were a church goer? And you sound proud of what you did. You disgust me.
[/quote]
Ditto.
Okay guys, here’s a reason why you never become repetative.
Last semester, we had this prof. that always did the exact same thing every morning. I don’t know if he was OCD or what, but he did the EXACT same freaking thing every morning.
Okay, about week 13 we had his routine down perfect, and had a plan devised. He would always arrive 10 - 12 minutes before class started. He’d set his OSU thermos on the table, which always had fresh piping coffee in it.
He’d take his coat and other crap off and head to the bathroom. He’d always use the stall at the absolute end of the bathroom because he didn’t want to use one in front of the mirrors - he was positive that people would try to peek in through the cracks between the doors and watch him.
So, one day he comes in, takes his crap off, sets down his mug, goes to the bathroom. While hes gone, we fill his thermos with a fast acting laxative.
When he comes back, he writes the daily things on the board, hands back assignments, what not. After the lecture officially starts, he sits down and takes his first drink of the coffee. This is the cue for student #2 to get up and slip off to the bathroom. He wraps the last toilet, in the profs favorite stall, with plastic wrap. Stays in the stall so no one gets it.
Back in classroom, when the prof gets a tad squirmy and runs out for the bathroom, I text the guy in the stall to get out of it, profs coming.
The student gets out of the bathroom and slips around the corner. Prof goes running in to favorite stall.
Explodes onto a toilet covered in plastic wrap.
It took him almost 25 minutes to come back to class. We just sat there, straight faced, like good students.
On april fool’s day last year 2 of my friends bought milk flavored powder and mixed it with some high quality vodka (the kind that is smooth going down). I guess they really put a LOT of powder in because when their roommates drank their milk in the morning and had milk on their cereal they got drunk and couldn’t drive to work.
My wife had a room mate a few years ago that would routinely come in late and drunk, although they lived in an area that wasn’t very safe. We tried to talk some sense into her, but she would not listen.
A friend of mine visited from another city so we set up the following:
About a week out, we steal her spare set of keys, and a photograph from her album. When my friend arrives we give him the key, foto, and layout of the house. He walks in while she’s watching TV. He greets her by the pet name her dad calls her, pours himself some of her cola and joins her on the couch.
Needless to say she freaks. He’s a good actor, so he explains calmly how they met a week ago at a bar, she gave him the keys and foto (which he shows to her). She went completely pale.
About this time we lose it (we were looking in from the next room, so we saw everything) and she starts crying.
Her behaviour was more responsible after that.
HAHA Gadget that’s great.
I’ve got to get in on this:
A good buddy of mine who passed away last year and a guy in his freshman dorm got into a prank war. By the spring it was out of control.
The last two were the guy buying cases of feeder crickets not sure of the number but it was several thousand crickets and breaking in to my buddy’s room and letting them all lose. Not a huge deal but the thousands of crickets were there for a weekend and shit all over the room the entire time so it smelled awful.
The retaliation was that my friend stole a goat and put it in the guy’s room while he was out that night. Animal cruelty I know but man did that goat freak out when the guy came home. I really wish I would have been there but I’ve seen the pictures and they were pretty good too.
[quote]Nards wrote:
Not a roommate, but me and 2 buddies decided to watch the Star Wars Trilogy ( original, as this was 1991) one night. It was winter in Canada so it was dark by 5PM.
Anyway, one buddy fell asleep about 5 minutes into Star Wars, so me and the other guy carefully set his wristwatch to about 1 AM and the clock on the VCR too, put in “Return of the Jedi” to the Ewoks dancing at the end, woke him up and told him he’d slept through them all.
He went home fast because he thought it was 1 and his parents would kill him. Me and other buddy went back to Star Wars. Buddy called us 10 mis later pissed becasue it was only about 6:30 by then.
Tame I know, but cute.[/quote]
Another tame one:
My freshman year in college I had a roommate that never had a watch or alarm clock and would ask me to always wake him up when I got up (we had a similar schedule). So one night after he’s asleep, I changed all the clocks and my watch, setting them one hour ahead. The next morning I wake him up and we go through our routine. I ate breakfast with him in the cafeteria and luckily he didn’t look closely at the clock on the wall.
He would cut through the student union on his way to class and there’s a big clock in the hallway. He said he stood staring at the clock for about five minutes feeling like he was in the Twilight Zone.
He got his own alarm clock.
tame, but…
I’ve got a roomate that leaves pretty often to go see his girlfriend. we also have people come over and drink most weekends.
we then grabbed some condoms, filled it up with hand lotion and put it on his bed.
he was really pissed when he found them but we told him what it was
[quote]WolBarret wrote:
Bang your roommates’ girl in his bed and leave the used condom underneath his pillow.[/quote]
I’ve got a similar one. My flatmate and I are always trading pranks and one night I went out and got fucking ruined. So there I am still wasted in the morning and he comes in and says he’s going home for the weekend.
As he left, I opened the front door naked and proclaimed that I would make it my sworn duty to befoul his bed with hideous carnal acts until my stamina failed me. He responded with “yeah, whatever.”. This only galvanised my resolve. Fair play to my girlfriend, she really put in a performance and we both had a good laugh sending him the photos of said acts via phone. He was eating his dinner with his grandparents (who apparently found them hilarious) when he got them.
Another time i got the same guy pretty good. I printed about 500 fliers with topless photos of him (he’s proud of his 6 pack), stuck his actual email address and mobile number on them and advertised him as a cheap male prostitute all around campus. he got about 10 phone calls in the end. good times