Football......because why?!

Since everyone was getting all psyched up over football I thought maybe someone could explain to me why you’re all hot and bothered over it when the real T-man sport is hockey. Football doesn’t hold a candle to hockey in soo many ways and everyone is blathering over it like it’s the only game in town.

First, let’s talk schedule:

Football has 16 games per season - 16!! - with an average of 7 days between games AND a “bye” week in the middle of the season giving them a two week beauty rest to get their corn rows and weaves redone and so the QB’s can stockpile the mousse.

Hockey has 82 games per season with an average of 3 days between games. That’s over 5 times as many games with about 40% less recovery time.

Does anyone care to dicker over who’s schedule is more grueling? Duh…HOCKEY.


Football has 3 playoff games (2 if you’re not a Wild Card and again, a week between each game) and then another TWO WEEK break before the SuperBowl (see previous ‘beauty rest’ scenario). What a joke…two weeks of media hype for what, one game?!

Hockey has almost 4 MONTHS of playoffs - a mandatory 16 wins (400% more than football) out of 28 possible games (700% more). And time off? How about as little as two days off between games (including the Stanley Cup Series) - just enough time to go to Walmart and get some duct tape for dislocated body parts and equipment ('cause ya know, if you can’t duct it…fuck it).

Who’s got the harder championship to win? DUH…HOCKEY!


Now, let’s talk playing conditions:

Football is played either on grass (you know, that soft fluffy stuff you wiggle your toes in and pick buttercups from) or in an air-conditioned building on Prescription turf. Oh, by the way, if your team still has AstroTurf…don’t worry. The owners are tired of the whimpering about booboo’s, owies and rug-burn (you know, on playa’s knees and elbows from all that rolling around on the floor with other men) and they’re working on getting your guys the Prescription turf to replace that mean, nasty AstroTurf stuff.

Hockey is played on ice. Um, did everyone catch that…ICE, kinda like really cold cement, but harder.

Aight, anyone care to guess where it takes more guts to play? Ummmm, a hockey rink?


In football, most of the guys on the field are just pushing, shoving and doing sumo moves on eachother. Only two or three guys (receivers) have a CHANCE of being truly ‘hit’.

In hockey, most of the guys are in near constant danger of being truly ‘hit’ as anyone remotely near the puck is fair game (legally that is, a lot of fun stuff happens behind the play too). Even the guy that is NEVER supposed to get hit, the goalie, takes a beating from time to time. And you know what? Nine times out of ten, when the goalie gets hit it’s because he’s outside the crease and it’s his own damn fault and no, no penalty gets called for that. Why? Because it’s HOCKEY and there’s no crying in HOCKEY!


I won’t even bother asking where the ganas are for this one…


Now let’s look at rivalry:

In football, you play a team in your own division twice. You hardly get learn a player’s name before he’s been traded, is out on disability for that hangnail, or retires from old age. The only way teams develop rivalry is through the two hour press conferences that follow the games (but then you’d need a Masters in Ebonics to understand any of it).

In hockey, you play your own division teams 5+ times. You not only know your rival’s players, playing style, strengths/weaknesses but you get to know what he likes to eat the night before a game since it’s all over the ice after you’ve hit him a good one.

So, who can explain it to me? Why, when folks on this forum are aspiring to a "T" lifestyle, would you go for a less-than-"T" sport to watch? Sure, football has it's share of manly displays but when compared to hockey, you might as well be turning on Martha Stewart.

Karma neglected another T element of hockey … the FIGHTING. Try that in the NFL, and you’re ejected from the game, plus a fine. But in hockey, you get a nice little rest, and back on the ice you go. Oh, wait a minute, I just remembered … The NHL is getting harsh about all that since they think it upsets the kiddies, and they’re trying to make the NHL more family oriented. Of course, I never understood hockey fighting, if it was truly a high T affair, they’d emulate Happy Gilmore and try to stab each other with their skates.

Who says I can’t like both? I think that the main appeal of football is that it’s analogous to war. I read an essay on it titled, “Football Red, Baseball Green.” And, George Carlin did a hilarious skit on the same topic. Basically, there are many similarities: long preparations for “battles,” the “general/QB,” and, of course, violence! I can’t see how it’s all that different from hockey in these regards, but I think it’s just more established in American: hence the overwhelming popularity.

I only watch real sports, like Golf and Baseball =) Just kidding


I agree with karma, hockey is far better.

Being from Montreal, Canada [24 Stanley cups]you dont have to convince me how great hockey is :slight_smile:


But american football does have an appeal hockey doesnt. Hype! Canadian network color commentating is dry, like watching soccer on an Britsh station. Of course thats the ONLY way I think hockey commentating should be, but its also nice to see the american ‘glitz’.

who cares about hockey, it sucks, there all a bunch of pussies, football is much better. i play basketball, or did last year when i was in school, and not one hockey player would dare touch me or challenge me to anything. it’s really quite funny because they all walked around the school like they were so big, bad, and tough saying all other sports are pussy sports (when talking amongst themselves). but when you myself or a couple of my team mates walk their way they step out of the way, or if we say something directly to them about how their sport sucks they have nothing to say. maybe this was just my school, but i have grown to hate hockey players. any thoughts? (i also found that they were the only sports team to do this as well, in my school).

~karma~, I once loved you, but alas, now I am scorn.

I have a lot of respect for Hockey. I’ve always wanted to be good at it, but never learned how to skate well enough (and being from Minnesota, it’s a crying shame). You’re bring up some good points when you make these comparisons, but there are some things you didn’t consider.

Weather- Footbal is played from 120 degree field temps now to below zero wind chills in the winter, much more extreme than any other sport.

Physicality- you’re right, hockey is damn violent. You gotta love that fact. But at the same time, I have a feeling your average solid tackle is much more violent than your average hit in hockey. And in football, you’re hitting basically the entire game. Also, there is something that you have to love about the Man on Man wrestling match that is the offensive vs. defensive line. It’s like sumo wrestling, only with more clothes and guys who can run a 5.0 40.

Schedule- Yep, hockey plays more, but don’t you think part of that is because they can. I know someone who played for Nebraska back in the day who turned down a pro offer because of the way he felt after a single game and he didn’t want to feel like that every Monday for the next 10+ years. Football players go through such violent games that it’s been compared to wrecking your car, over and over. Simply put, nobody could play up to speed on only two days rest.

Strategy- Football is much more of a chess game than hockey is. Coaches plan, act, and counteract. Yes, hockey has plays, but it’s not to the depth that football is thought out. That’s also why they take a week in between- to put together the war plan for the next week.

I will concede that the average hockey player is much more of a bad ass than the average football player, but don’t underestimate football players. These guys can take 30+mph hits and get up and do it again. It’s always been the sport of macho American men, and it will always be the sport of macho American men (and it’s nice to see soccer options are weeding the wusses out of our locker rooms). Sure, there are more manly sports - rugby, Aussie rules fooball - but football is our fall rite of passage and I love it.

Well, I’m not Irish, and I have no bias, but it seems to me that for pure primal T, the sport has to be hurling – I’ve watched a few games on cable. It looks kind of like rugby played with wooden clubs, with a little Australian rules football, lacrosse, and baseball thrown in, too. It has none of those silly pads like football and hockey have. I don’t understand the scoring system, and there don’t seem to be any rules – so, how could a T-man or T-vixen not love it? :smiley:

You think hockey is an easier sport to play than football? How many hockey players have been paralyzed during a hockey game? How often do hockey players DIE during practice? Yeah that’s what I thought.
Only 2 or 3 players have a chance of being hit? Ok I guess Quarterbacks never get hit. I guess Joe Montana tripped or something when he got injured for 2 years. Had nothing to do with Lawrence Taylor almost taking his head off. Running backs never get hit too, they’re all allowed free access to the end zone. Linemen? yeah they don’t hit each other every play. Even kickers get their asses kicked every now and then.
Talking about which is scarier is a joke. I’d rather skate around in a rink full of 160 pound toothless canadians than a field full of 250 lb linebackers that can run the 50 yrd dash in 4.5 seconds.
And about the 16 game seasons: There’s no way in hell they could play twice a week. Football is so mucher harder on your body than hockey it’s not even funny. If you get them to play more than once a week they’re either all going to strike, or they’re all going to pass out dead.

Stop it, please. Stop swagging on ~karma~ and buttering up to her about hockey just 'cause she’s pretty. Tell her the truth. The reason football is great is BECAUSE it’s only 16 games and every game means so damn much. The anticipation of waiting the whole week to watch your team on Sunday is like building to a climax and – ok we won’t go there. But hockey better than football? Yuck! You have to earn your way into the playoffs in the NFL. For crying out loud, less teams MISS the damn playoffs in the NHL than make it there. Way too many playoff invites in the NHL and way too long a regular season. It becomes a complete drag. And the playoffs last so long, and such horrible teams make it there, it’s not even fun to watch some of the opening playoff rounds. Hockey more physically demanding than football? Since I only played basketball and baseball in high school (what a wimp, I know!), I’m not equipped to comment. As a fan, gimme the NFL over the NHL 100% of the time.

When I was about 11-years old my good friend, Jackie Burns, showed me how to throw a perfect spiral. So that we could both play football with her brothers. And we did. Loved every minute of it. I love football. I love sports. I don’t believe in saying that one sport is more “T-stuff” than another. That’s just bunk. Yes, ice hockey is different. It’s played on ice. The players have to skate, etc., etc. I believe boxing is a incredible sport, and boxers (male or female) to be some of the most well-conditioned athletes around. But I don’t go around saying “football is for pussies, and boxing is a ‘T’ sport…”. Because I appreciate the skills it takes to perform in either sport.

Football contains a few elements that I enjoy: bone crushing power, athletic prowess and pure skill. Seriously. Take a good look at who makes up the teams (Big offensive line, quarterbacks, running backs, etc.) Have you ever tried to throw a football, several yards to someone (as they're also moving), while a couple of 300-pound dudes, who all they want to do is crush your wee skull into the ground are rushing at you. Oh, and you've got to maintain your composure while doing this. That's what the Quarterback has to go through.

And let's talk about the wide receivers or ever fullbacks. Many times, they're poetry in motion. As they're catching a ball in mid air while being thrown to the ground. Or colliding with a man twice (or thrice) their size. And as I type this, I'm thinking of Tony Dorsett, Walter Payton or Earl Campbell. Man, I even miss Barry Sanders (does anyone else?). Or how about the beeg dudes, like Jack Youngblood? Anyone watch the Monday Night Football game where Joe Theisman broke his leg? I did. Remember it like it was yesterday. Well, I'm rambling now.

But that's what football does for me. It drums up memories of some great afternoons on a Sunday with my family and later, friends. But I grew up playing sports, and watching ALL sports on TV. So, as I stated above, I appreciate any athlete who has to perform AT THEIR BEST during any type of competition.

Yeah, right ANY other sport besides hockey can be comparable to Martha Stewart. That was certainly a statement based on "terra incognita". I wonder if the statement, "ignorance never settles a question" - would work here.

Karma: I am good Canadian boy, born an raised on hockey, been playin it since I was 4yrs old. Hockey is a highly skilled, fast, sometimes violent and exiciting game. It is the best game on earth. However I have played both football(university) and hockey(jr. B) at high levels and you cannot compare the two. A hockey game is a walk in the park compared to a football game. You physically could not play more than one football game a week. You could play hockey 5 times a week without too much trouble. As for the fighting, take it from an old enforcer, it’s no big deal. It certainly does’nt compare to the collisions of football. Skating in itself takes very little out of you when your good at it. Even the impact of a check in hockey does’nt compare to a collision in football and they are far less frequent. It does’nt compare to the wear and tear of sprinting for 40-50 plays of a football game. You get much more rest in a hockey game than in football and expend much less energy. As for linemen pushing each other around like sumuo wrestlers. First of all it’s a little more dynamic than that, but if you think it’s easy, go try pushing a 300lb man, who’s resisting your efforts for 5 seconds x 40-50 repetitions. I love hockey and it’s heroes. Football and it’s players are simply bigger, badder and tougher than hockey. End of story.I could go on an on but it’s impossible to explain it to someone unless you have experienced both, and few people have. You’re a smart cookie Karma and usually a very perceptive and intelligent forum contributer, but your over your head on this one.

Wow, karma you’re a cool chick.
J: You’re ignorant. If you’re trying to say basketball players are tougher than hockey players, then I don’t even know why I am wasting my time typing this because I should be laughing my ass off. Which sport is hitting illegal in? Oh yeah…
Anyway, you either like a sport or you don’t. After playing hockey for 8 years and still going, I would have to say every other sport sucks in comparison. But that’s just my opinion and it doesn’t mean shit.

Don’t think so hard, You might hurt yourself. Just joking. I can’t add anything because I think everybody has pretty much explained why football is so popular. I don’t think I would compare it to Martha Stewart though.

Hockey? i’ve tried to like it…never really could…maybe except for the Cup finals or USA olympics…its more of a regional thing…as orginially from Texas…of course Football is king …Hockey is king in Canada while soccer is huge in South America… Soccer fans could make a case that soccer is more gruelsome as it is constantly running nonstop for 2 hours…and getting kicked in the shins and ankles is a bitch…

Karma, very funny post. I laughed my ass off, especially about the off week and artifical turf. Very creative and entertaining! Of course, I will have to admit that to me NFL football is (without a doubt) the most physical and demanding sport played anywhere in the world.

Yeah, but how many football fans get killed watching a game at a stadium vs a hockey rink :wink: lol Ooops, I forgot, soccer takes that title.

Hilarious post! Nice job!


As for which sport is better, I wouldn’t know because I don’t watch either of them. What do I watch? Sumo! Now there’s a REAL T-sport! Don’t talk to me about 250lb. linebackers - in sumo, 250 lbs is a flyweight. Try 350-400 lbs on average. Sure, these guys are fat, but don’t make the mistake of thinking that they’re slow. And explosive power? Shit. Most of them could launch William Perry (remember him?) into orbit - not to mention any four NHL players at once. Any professional sumo wrestler can easily crush an apple in his hand and smear the pulp all over the puny North Americans! Hah!

I apologize for the ending statement in my post. Even I have to scratch my head at that. Long day, folks. What I would really like to say is that the points peppered in the origin of this thread are fraught with ignorance…or something to that effect.

~karma~ : Growing up in my house, Hockey was not
considered a sport… but a RELIGION!!! My
older brother got to play goalie for the U.S. Junior “B” National
Championship team and brought great honor to our humble household!

Having only played hockey, I can’t comment on which
sport is tougher, but I sure dig your moxey!!!


Am looking forward to the upcoming NHL season. “GO, RANGERS!”
P.S. You’re pretty cool!!!