Since everyone was getting all psyched up over football I thought maybe someone could explain to me why you’re all hot and bothered over it when the real T-man sport is hockey. Football doesn’t hold a candle to hockey in soo many ways and everyone is blathering over it like it’s the only game in town.
First, let’s talk schedule:
Football has 16 games per season - 16!! - with an average of 7 days between games AND a “bye” week in the middle of the season giving them a two week beauty rest to get their corn rows and weaves redone and so the QB’s can stockpile the mousse.
Hockey has 82 games per season with an average of 3 days between games. That’s over 5 times as many games with about 40% less recovery time.
Does anyone care to dicker over who’s schedule is more grueling? Duh…HOCKEY.
Football has 3 playoff games (2 if you’re not a Wild Card and again, a week between each game) and then another TWO WEEK break before the SuperBowl (see previous ‘beauty rest’ scenario). What a joke…two weeks of media hype for what, one game?!
Hockey has almost 4 MONTHS of playoffs - a mandatory 16 wins (400% more than football) out of 28 possible games (700% more). And time off? How about as little as two days off between games (including the Stanley Cup Series) - just enough time to go to Walmart and get some duct tape for dislocated body parts and equipment ('cause ya know, if you can’t duct it…fuck it).
Who’s got the harder championship to win? DUH…HOCKEY!
Now, let’s talk playing conditions:
Football is played either on grass (you know, that soft fluffy stuff you wiggle your toes in and pick buttercups from) or in an air-conditioned building on Prescription turf. Oh, by the way, if your team still has AstroTurf…don’t worry. The owners are tired of the whimpering about booboo’s, owies and rug-burn (you know, on playa’s knees and elbows from all that rolling around on the floor with other men) and they’re working on getting your guys the Prescription turf to replace that mean, nasty AstroTurf stuff.
Hockey is played on ice. Um, did everyone catch that…ICE, kinda like really cold cement, but harder.
Aight, anyone care to guess where it takes more guts to play? Ummmm, a hockey rink?
In football, most of the guys on the field are just pushing, shoving and doing sumo moves on eachother. Only two or three guys (receivers) have a CHANCE of being truly ‘hit’.
In hockey, most of the guys are in near constant danger of being truly ‘hit’ as anyone remotely near the puck is fair game (legally that is, a lot of fun stuff happens behind the play too). Even the guy that is NEVER supposed to get hit, the goalie, takes a beating from time to time. And you know what? Nine times out of ten, when the goalie gets hit it’s because he’s outside the crease and it’s his own damn fault and no, no penalty gets called for that. Why? Because it’s HOCKEY and there’s no crying in HOCKEY!
I won’t even bother asking where the ganas are for this one…
Now let’s look at rivalry:
In football, you play a team in your own division twice. You hardly get learn a player’s name before he’s been traded, is out on disability for that hangnail, or retires from old age. The only way teams develop rivalry is through the two hour press conferences that follow the games (but then you’d need a Masters in Ebonics to understand any of it).
In hockey, you play your own division teams 5+ times. You not only know your rival’s players, playing style, strengths/weaknesses but you get to know what he likes to eat the night before a game since it’s all over the ice after you’ve hit him a good one.
So, who can explain it to me? Why, when folks on this forum are aspiring to a "T" lifestyle, would you go for a less-than-"T" sport to watch? Sure, football has it's share of manly displays but when compared to hockey, you might as well be turning on Martha Stewart.