I sat through a video “support group” session that was for people with relatives with mental illnesses (schizophrenic relative) just to see what it was like since I’ve only seen this stuff in movies and it was pretty good. Well organized, leaders/facilitators who understood and applied group control really well without any background in mental health nor anything that requires the latter. That’s NOT easy IME in my own industry when you have 20 people from different countries and backgrounds who can easily change the topic altogether or interrupt so much some won’t have time to speak within the allocated time. Got some helpful suggestions too.
Confession is I never expected stuff like this to be conducted so smoothly.
Unfortunately, theses do not work for me. Just wanted to see what it was like and I will be joining them again for more knowledge because of my relative. Having a listening ear for my problems does nothing for me, unfortunately, so I’m not gonna join any group for myself.
But in this group, I can get some advice and perhaps provide some knowledge of my own and contribute back although I’m gonna refrain from saying anything that requires an MD or licensed therapist.
And as for why I’m not encouraging my relative’s mother to join something similar in China, let’s just say the last time she did something similar ended in a visit to a qigong master and a whole lot of shit happening that was bad enough for me to have to fly there to help out. That’s not gonna happen now. 7 days local isolation in MY own country plus 2 weeks isolation in a facility in China if I wanna go there now. That’s not including lots of PCR tests and so much more shit needed to be done.
Are you saying that she became so unnerved by a support group session that she had to do individual sessions with a body work person to calm down?
Are you talking about the virtual therapy sessions now, or that groups do nothing for you when focused on your own issues (temper)? I don’t think the point is a listening ear, it’s something more like Monday morning’s review of Sunday’s big game (as seen in plucky underdog sports movies). You replay the week, or whatever, find the bumps, slow things down to really examine what happened (before, during), so slow-mo, then draw circles and arrows about what to do next time so as not to blow the play. The relationship is about listening, yes, but more about validating the feelings expressed while looking for alternative behaviors. These can be to express feelings differently; to reframe the situation so one does not feel so victimized and can function more happily; to self-soothe or use self-talk to deescalate as needed, etc. Listening is not the goal. Improving outcomes is the goal. Desired outcomes vary. I have several people looking for better relationships with spouse or family, some looking to manage acute trauma (an assault at work, fear of a bad weather pileup on the interstate, a child’s devastating car accident and the interpersonal and financial bullshit that followed), some who can’t manage their anxiety (can’t shut brains up, can’t sleep, social anxiety), and some who’ve had rough beginnings and are looking to create a life they can tolerate. Depression, of course. Anger issues are definitely in there, with different underlying causes and/or learned coping mechanisms. My listening is directed. So, for instance, I’d happily spend time listening to you talk about bathing the cat because I’m curious and we’d have a relationship that allowed for laughter, but at some point I’d redirect us to the anger, with something along the lines of "so, what happened when [thing you’d mentioned in passing, which needs to be further unpacked]'? Often people announce as they sit down or begin the video session that they’ve had a tough week, then we have warm chit-chat for a bit, which I enjoy as much as they do. Could be weather, grousing about something unimportant, whatever. But before long I’ll hit “So, a tough week?”
(Disclaimer: This is just me, of course. Some therapists don’t chit-chat at all. Styles and techniques vary greatly.)
I’ve never been able to articulate it until now, but this is the first thing I look for in a partner. Thanks professional therapist person for giving me the words to express this!
No, the support group recommended the qigong master. And I’m talking about one of those fuckheads who take reiki to a whole new level.
I get what you’re saying but these things really doesn’t work for me. If it were about me and it was one-on-one with a therapist, I’d probably get annoyed if the session isn’t dedicated to an actual plan of action or review or the last one’s. That’s just how MY brain works. Which is why a therapist I asked suggested CBT.
@dt79 I totally get the group therapy setting not working - I have a hard time with that too. I feel like it’s good to hear about others experiences and feelings, but much of the time they are so different from mine, it leaves me feeling either like I don’t belong there or like I don’t want to share my thoughts. I do much better in one-on-one therapy. In there it’s just the “me” show. Reading that back, maybe it just means I’m self-centered… I should probably work on that in my next session. lol
I feel like the group therapy sessions help people realize that shit isn’t so bad by direct comparison. When people break their Jerry Springer-esque problems, it makes all my problems seem insignificant.
As far as actual therapy though, I’m too fucked in the head for that stuff to work; the gym has always been my best therapist.
Group therapy sessions are what you make them. I like hearing other peoples experiences which helps to break the sense of isolation that I get sometimes. Like when I find myself saying “Am I crazy, or…” the answer is usually “Yes. But you aren’t alone.”.
Certainly not everybody’s cup of tea though. There is tons of room for self deception, toxic relationships, you name it, its there too.
Ah, ok. I was really talking about individual therapy for most of that post. I just wasn’t clear what you were referring to. My only point being that listening is just the beginning.
I like intimate groups of people, but believe that a therapy group would be of limited usefulness for me. They are handy for psycho-education, though.
In the past 2 days, I have spent $50 on peanut butter and $60 on low carb bread/bagels. I’m due for some EPIC PBJs at this point.
I’m (hopefully) traveling to see family for 4 days in Mar and I’m already figuring out what equipment and food I’ll bring. So far, I’ve settled on 2 adjustable KB handles, a box of protein bars, a jar of Nuts n More spread and some grassfed beef sticks. …I’m visiting a farm. This is such “sand to the beach” stuff.
We bought a turkey to cook this weekend and now I’m way too excited for the weekend. I’m fairly certain a great bulking protocol would be “make and eat a whole turkey every week”.
Ever since I’ve implemented a protocol of hitting up Tabata KB front squats when passing through my garage to take out the trash, I find I’m taking out the trash more frequently…
Yeah, I get how my post could have been interpreted as a therapy session. Apologies for the confusion. What I do isn’t very different from what you described in the beginning if a client requires business consultation. Currently, I’ve not spoken to a therapist yet. I need to fill in lots of worksheets before that.
Another reason why I joined the aforementioned meeting was most people are from the US and Canada and I wanted to make sure we could understand one another’s accents since I have some problems with my friends from the US in real life. I realized I understood everyone perfectly and vice versa. Probably because of the inflections and I have a good mic and headphones.
Dunno how it’s gonna work for me either.
Perhaps. The problem is I’ve seen worse shit than lots of people because of where I lived and my own DIY methods of developing an on/off switch when to comes to my emotions since no one takes any of this seriously over here until recent years. (Not talking about groups for military vets. You guys who’ve been in active combat would have seen worse shit than me.)
For example, I’ve said I cannot feel anxiety. This is not hyperbole. I literally can’t. I think it’s because my dad would slap me when I a child if I displayed anything like that. Not his fault. It’s just that society didn’t understand how to deal with stuff like this.
And please don’t anyone interpret this as me downplaying people’s EMOTIONS. I’ve dealt with a schizophrenic relative who’s NOT functional and is one of the minority that have violent tendencies and has had to be warded from time to time over the years. I’m not close nor emotionally attached to him since he’s a relative on my wife’s side and I don’t meet him much. It’s just a responsibility I took on because he’s a relative and his mother is single, needs to work while taking care of him and has very little knowledge of all this stuff.
IMHO thresholds and triggers are different but feelings are real. E.g, I’d take someone who’s really upset when his/her favourite cup breaks seriously and comfort the person if needed accordingly even though it may not warrant such an emotional reaction by “normal” standards but I don’t want to hear about it.
There is a chess club interest meeting this Friday but, I have physics class. I have an interest in learning how to play chess, it seems fun and challenging.
My physics professor gave us the option to not go to class for the entire semester and to rely on the final exam. He also cautioned that the people who didn’t go to class and who didn’t do the work during the semester almost always failed. I got a B (maybe B-, this was a while ago) without attending any but the first lecture, one of my proudest/stupidest moments, especially since I just used that time to play FIFA endlessly.
LOL 50 percent of my class didn’t show up last class so my professor gave the people who didn’t show up a zero as a quiz grade and he’s also forcing them to take a hard midterm test instead of an easy group presentation.
I’ve since quit playing video games (except some dumb mobile games) because I’m a chronic time waster but they almost made a reappearance during the depths of Covid.
I waste time going on my ipad and laying down. I just watch movies or go on YouTube. It’s relaxing during the week but on weekends I’m like “Man I need some new hobbies”.
