Flame Free Confession III: Even More Flame Free (Part 2)

I don’t give a shit about what of those types I am, but I love using confusion to take self-proclaimed alphas or whatever down.

It’s just publicly breaking the image they are trying to project.

For instance, I had someone in my master’s class who railed at me for using the passive voice in my writing, so the next day I presented about the value of the passive voice in medical, legal, and technical writing.

I had a guy at the gym (admittedly we had had a few mild arguments before) challenge me to a curl contest. Umm, ok? So he’s full-bodying curls. I take a couple of 5 lb plates and tuck them into my armpits. He asks why and I say its to maintain proper form, but I lift less than him, so gauntlet thrown. He sticks the plates under his pits, uses his previous set, one armpit plate falls and breaks his toe.

This one is super gross, but most guys who like to get really close to your face to yell are usually doing it for an audiance, and are probably kind of homophobic. Stay silent and spit in their mouth - I’ve only done it a few times, mostly at bar fights, but it works.

Making up words and slipping them into conversations is another fun one. Or just casual deflection. “Have you even read Dantes Inferno!?” “Not in English.”

Had a dinner party at my girlfiends place and a guy came up to me and my buddies on the porch and talked about how hot she was, so I told him her boyfriend is an asshole, you should ask her out. He did, came out mad, but I had a platonic friend with pierced nipples who took her top off, so his charging out got him completely derailed seeing her.

The point of all these ridiculous memories is that self-proclaimed alphas are dumb and break easily. Whatever they brag about is their weak point.

6 Likes