
From The New Hampshire Gazette Vol 249, No 20, July 1, 2005
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Richard B. Myers, in an official Defense Department photo, wearing what appears to be an American flag. The general was participating in the annual Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally. DoD photo by Air Force Tech. Sgt. D. Myles Cullen.
Nothing is dearer to the Flag Police than Old Glory, except the First Amendment.
Why? Because without freedom of speech and freedom of the press, our flag might as well be just another rectangle of brightly colored cloth representing a nation of mute slaves.
So, when the boys in the break room of the Flag Police station house heard that the Flag Protection Amendment passed the House of Representatives on June 22, the place was full of long faces - long, stubbled, a bit bloodshot, and powdered faintly with confectioner’s sugar.
And it was no help knowing that both New Hampshire’s alleged representatives, “Charlie” Bass and “Jeb” Bradley, not only voted in favor of “Duke” Cunningham’s House Joint Resolution 10, but were co-sponsors. That only made the dregs of their coffee more bitter.
“Who the hell’s this ‘Duke’ Cunningham,” asked a morose-looking flagpoliceperson.
“You mean you never heard of ‘Duke’ Cunningham?” an agitated colleague responded. "Hell, he’s the guy Tom Cruise played in Top Gun. Shot down three MIGs in one day in The 'Nam. If we’d had a couple more like him, Ho Chi Minh City would still be Saigon, and they’d be drinking Bud over there, not that nasty Ba Mui Ba. At least, that’s the impression you could get from reading his autobiography without applying any critical thinking skills.
“And remember that Tailhook scandal? Buncha liquored-up Navy jet jocks groping female colleagues? ‘Duke’ was a muckety muck of that outfit when it all happened.”
“So,” said the morose one, “what’s he done for me lately? Besides threatening my First Amendment rights, I mean?”
"Oh, he’s been a busy guy. He’s from San Diego, and he’s on the House Appropriations Committee. He recently helped get $3 million in taxpayers’ money to improve the waterfront in DC - right near where he parks Duke-Stir, the 42 foot yacht he lives on when he’s in the Capitol.
"I say ‘lives on,’ because it’s not his yacht. Duke-Stir actually belongs to Mitchell Wade. Wade also happens to own MZM, Inc., which is a defense contractor.
“And if that’s not enough coincidence for ya, Wade also owns 'Duke’s old house in San Diego. Well, he owned it for a while. Wade paid ‘Duke’ $1,675,000 for the place. Nine months later he sold it for a $700,000 loss. But he still lets ‘Duke’ live on his boat. That Wade’s a stand-up guy, I tell ya. As long as you’re a Congressman.”
“So what’s in it for Wade?”
“Nothing, you cynical bastard! That would be bribery. Sure, Cunningham supports funding requests from MZM -he’s admitted that. But it’s on the merits, you know. It’s got nothing to do with the yacht. Or the house.”
“How admirable. What’s he like in person, this ‘Duke’?”
“Well, I guess you’d say he’s outspoken. On the floor of the House one time, explaining why he opposed an amendment to make the military comply with the Clean Water Act, he said to Bernie Sanders, ‘the same people who would vote to cut defense $177 billion, the same ones that would put homos in the military, the same ones that would not fund BRAC, the same ones that would not clear up ? No, I will not sit down, you socialist.’”
“Jeez. You’d think a guy who says things like that would want to protect the First Amendment, not carve a piece off it.”
Chair of Joint Chiefs Violates Sub-Paragraph “D”
When coffee break was over, the Flag Police proceeded to bust U.S. Air Force Gen. Richard B. Myers, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
An official Department of Defense photo shown here depicts Myers in apparent violation of U.S. Code Title 4, Chapter 1, Section 8, Sub-Paragraph D: “The flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery,” and/or Sub-Paragraph J: “No part of the flag should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform.” The violation occurred on Memorial Day weekend, during the annual Rolling Thunder motorcycle rally.
http://www.nhgazette.com/news/flag_police/