I appreciate this. It’s actually comforting to know there are good guys in the gym who can do more than strike a double bicep pose or do a heavy single. Women don’t just want to marry protectors, we want to be surrounded by them (friends, acquaintances, total strangers) whether we’ll admit it or not.
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Awesome advice here. I took a women’s self defense class at my shooting range with a man who’s proficient in BJJ (some kind of champion in something) and he taught seriously great techniques.
He offers those classes regularly, but is that enough or do I need official BJJ training?
I’m sold! Now, we gotta get the husband on board. LOL he may not like me becoming too much of a handful. 
I would seek out a more official regimen (Gracie Barra, 10th planet etc…). It’s just more structured and you need a ton of practice to make the moves almost automatic.
I like Judo and BJJ for women because it eliminates some of the size disadvantages women have typically against men. I say some not all because a guy who is my size (285 lbs) it may not matter how much BJJ you know.
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Agree with @cyclonengineer, the actual ability to be effective when your number gets called only comes after quite a bit of mat time. You’re never going to get it with seminars and one-trick pony kind of moves, like GOUGE THE EYES. If your goal is self-defense, I’d recommend Easton BJJ over Gracie Barra and way over 10th Planet. I am a product of Amal Easton through my coach. He’s much smaller and weaker than me and can reliably whoop my ass, and his coach (Amal’s first black belt) can still usually whoop my coach’s ass. They learned to whoop ass the Easton way, and Amal Easton learned it by traveling to Brazil, learning Portuguese and drinking straight from the source, eventually becoming Renzo Gracie’s second American Black Belt.
Amal’s getting older but he can still lead from the front and he has been making a lot of tough, capable people for a really long time. His students made me a believer in their brand of BJJ because of the many ass-whoopings I have gotten over the years. My 500 squat, 600 deadlift and 350 bench matter a LOT, but those guys are good enough to take those advantages away and own me, plain and simple.
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I forgot which line my school traced back to. I know it was one of the Gracie’s and not the ones associated with Barra.
I mostly dislike 10th planet due to Eddie Bravos shenanigans.
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Lineage is important in BJJ, but can also be abused to the point where it is just meaningless bullshit. There are no shortages of legit BJJ black belts going around awarding bullshit black belts to guys who get rag-dolled by blue belts at legit schools, all to rope in suckers who will pay under the impression that they’re learning from the best.
The proof is in the pudding when it comes to sparring. I think a lot of lifters could benefit from getting choked out by Carl from accounting or Beth the baker. Get humbled.
@Dani_Shugart First class is always free at Easton schools and I think you’d get a kick out of rolling with a smaller gal who is experienced in BJJ as a first taste. Easton BJJ will have plenty of those. I’m sure you’d be one of the strongest women on the mats and, assuming you conduct yourself well, you’ll probably get a little extra attention because you’re a more unusual puzzle box to solve compared to most new students.
Getting your ass totally handed to you without injuring you in any way at all is one of those things you have to experience being done to you before you can understand how effective it is.
Edit: To keep this a little more on-topic, I also know a guy who opened up an MMA and Firearms Instruction school who has no business teaching either of those. But hey, there’s no laws against being a poseur and charging people money, so he’s free to rope in as many suckers as he can.
What do the firearms people suggest newer students do to filter out bullshit firearms instructors and spend their time and money wisely?
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My ex-gf does. This was her gym, but she was not there at the time it happened.
Soon after she enrolled in classes and is licensed for concealed carry, armed and ready at all times.
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I read through every ones answers and they are spot on: train in JJ or Judo , with some basic striking involved. Martial arts will teach more about yourself than anything I know , outside of actual combat. There are no allusions on the mat or in the ring. Then, the most important thing is deciding whether you are going to be a victim or prey or someone who will fight with everything they got.
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I always carry in the gym. I use a Maxipition tactical bag that is small enough to not attract attention. Think about this: gyms are perfect killing fields, with easy access and packed with people wearing next to nothing. I always have part of my brain watching the entry points, because, anyone can walk in with an AK and start shooting.
Play mental games to keep sharp. Before each set, scan the gym for threats and think about where you are in relation to the entry doors, if someone walks through armed and shooting, what cover do you have? What would you do? Where could you exfil the place? Yes, Yes, I know that seems weird, but, is a gym any safer that Walmart or Whole Foods? Once you start thinking tactics if becomes second nature and does not diminish the workout.
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I love this community. Thank you guys for sharing so much good information with me. When my schedule gets a little less crazy I know where to look for BJJ instruction.
This sounds amazing!
Absolutely. This seems like probably the best thing that could teach a person physical aggression.
I feel relatively comfortable carrying a firearm, and reaching into my purse to use it, if the situation called for it. But if a person was actually in close contact or coming at me really quickly, I’m not sure what my reaction would be. Shooting would not be an option, especially if there wasn’t a round in the chamber.
So being physically capable of self defense seems smart… essential if the world continues to get crazier.
The good news is, I kinda look like a hassle. If a predator has a choice, he’ll choose the dainty, short, young lady with a ponytail who’s looking down at her phone. Not the loudmouth who makes eye contact, has no hair to grab onto, and has traps that nearly come up to her ears.
I’m not likely the first choice. 
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It was 14 years ago but I still remember the first time a 135 pound little dude kicked my 265 pound ass in BJJ. very humbling.
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I think it is very healthy to have your shortcomings exposed in ways that hit home, generally-speaking. A lot of people have a tough time with the ego check when someone makes it clear how much you suck compared to them, regardless of discipline.
You get that at the range when you shoot next to great shooters and you get that on the mats when you spar with great fighters.
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That’s an interesting point. I went to my very first rifle training class two years ago and I was pretty new at shooting. I had watched some videos and been to the range with a friend who was former Army. It was a little intimidating in the class because many folks were Vets and one guy was about to deploy as a CIA contractor. I did my thing and found that I could actually hang with them in-terms of speed and accuracy in most cases. One guy was a former Marine and we got paired up for some drills and he was great to work with, very encouraging. It was a great experience. I try and take as many classes as I can.
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It’s so intimidating when there are pros in the class! The best teachers tend to do a great job making it approachable for the beginners though.
Did your support arm get tired the first time you first learned to shoot a rifle? I couldn’t get over how the regulars – who weren’t into fitness – could just hold up a rifle for so long like it was nothing!
That’s seriously impressive!
You’re making me want to get back in class now!
The thing that caused me the most trouble with rifle classes was getting the safety up after every round. I actually had to get a ring for my index finger so that it would snag the safety to pull it down and push it up faster. But learning that hand/finger coordination took a while. I also had to become a left-handed shooter because of cross-eye dominance.
Were you using an AK pattern rifle?
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AR, but I don’t actually know what the differences are between the two.
To put it crudely, the AR is the heros gun (think American military) and the AK is the bad guys gun (terrorists, etc.) haha.
The way you described the safety made it sound like an AK pattern. For a lefty an ambidextrous safety would go a long way in making it easer to manipulate. The thumb is the way to go on an AR.
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Thank you! I prefer explanations like this instead of something that would go way over my head!
I’m right handed but left-eye dominant. So the instructors had me try it both ways, and I’m actually more accurate shooting with my left hand. This goes for handguns too. So weird!
Luckily we do have an ambi safety. It’s just really stiff!
This was the last rifle class I went to:
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We have an almost-stock SIG Tread with a red dot, like the one below. Need to get some aftermarket stuff for it: supersized safety, etc. Had some good suggestions from other Community members, just haven’t gotten around to it.
Our rifle instructors are adamant about engaging the safety every time you move between targets, even if you’re standing still. Totally understandable for the range and competition. Not sure how realistic that is in real life though. Don’t think I’d be doing that during a multi-assailant home invasion.
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