[quote]Edevus wrote:
[quote]Da Man reloaded wrote:
[quote]Edevus wrote:
[quote]Da Man reloaded wrote:
I have also noticed how few people do it. Dads dont put themselves between their children and traffic. They dont get in between the guy with crossed eyes and a tick while walking down the street. It kind of makes me wonder what they are thinking…[/quote]
I don’t/wouldn’t do any of the things you have listed because it’s not natural for me. In no way I’d get inside a room and “look for possible exits and weapons”. Getting between the kid and the traffic is something that yes, I’d do, but getting in between people who may look bit weird and the kid can lead to some bad prejudices for the kid in the future (and this is something I’ve seen, but it was with black people).
The place and conditions of youth are important for this, I guess. Safer places…or at least, less paranoia. Because in any of the two cities I’ve lived, if you get inside a room, start to look for “possible exits and weapons” and tell someone, he will look you like if you were the crazy one who needs to be avoided…
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To each his own, i guess.
And its not like pops was scanning the room giving people the evil eye, I idolized him my entire life and studied every move he made and i didnt notice it till i was around 15. He was very casual with everything. Fists never clinched, never huffing or puffing. He never told anyone what he did it but me, as his son that asked him specifically what he was doing. I talked to my sister recently about it to see if she ever noticed her husband doing the same thing or ever remembered pops doing it and she noticed neither. I never built prejudices from which side he was walking on. Never even realized anything was going on. I honestly dont see how one could unless you tell them - ‘that guy looks weird, get over here’ which never happened. My now wife realized I do it because after we had been dating a few years there was a drunk/high/whatever dude stumbling/jogging down the bridge we were crossing with a bottle in his hand and i had to switch sides with her quickly because he was approaching quickly. she started watching where i am located when we walk down the street and when we are in crowds and asked me about it later. I honestly told her the truth.
Personally, if you wouldnt get between someone like that and your loved ones because it might build prejudices in their minds, you may need to rethink your priorities. But, its a free country and you can do whatever you feel is proper. I will continue doing what I feel is proper- getting between any threat and the ones i love. again, to each his own, i suppose.[/quote]
We’re in different countries, that’s why it’s different.
What you did with your to-be-wife is more obvious, but I’m looking more at the defensive behaviour at any moment. Also, you have to remember about the body language reaction possibilities.
I only got a bit defensive when going home night from work because it’s a bad area, but I have never had any issues (and I hope I never have), but if I go defensive, is very subtle. However, if I see someone who enters a room and he scans everyone and starts looking around the walls and stuff, I will get defensive due to his behaviour.
It’s this kind of logic that you can find with self-fulfilling prophecies or this “carrying a gun increases the chances of dying by gunfire”.
A person is in a defensive position constantly, so other people can feel he’s menacing and go defensive themselves as a reaction.
This is kinda how it goes with me, I really only get defensive at night, as I said, or if I see someone’s body language being strange and I don’t do it actively.
Now imagine that you’re walking home at night and there’s a guy coming in front. Here, where I live, both will not even look at each other, just pass each other and that’d be it. Imagine that we actually walk too close and hit each other, by accident, so both apologize and move on.
Now think what would happen if both go with “defensive mode” and this happens…the reaction could be much different. I’m just making up an example, but I’ve learned that our body language can trigger lots of reactions without us wanting that.
Is the crime rate really that high? Are the streets there so annoying? Isn’t the mentality and the media causing paranoia?
Because media is to blame for things like this. Example :
In Spain around 800 hundreds men commit suicide every year. Around 50 women are killed by their husbands. Around 20 men are killed by their wives.
Suicides are never reported in media unless it’s a famous person, a gruesome way to commit suicide or if it’s part of other crime (“He killed his neighbour, then took his own life”).
Men being killed by their wives is often “forgotten” to be reported by general media, however, women being killed by their husbands always takes top priorities in the news.
Result? The general consensus is that husbands killing wives is a plague, something very common that is affecting lots of families. What happens? This creates a false alarm in the mind of people…
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I agree with most of what you are saying. I guess i didnt get my point of nonchalance across. I dont go looking for a fight. I put myself between possible dangers/threats and my loved ones. Me walking on the traffic side doesnt mean i am chesting up with cars. It means that if one goes off the road it clips me instead of my family.
I dont puff up or have imaginary lat syndrome. I am too much of a goofball for that crap.
I should have mentioned another thing pops taught me- to be polite to a fault. That is another thing that won my wife over, she never opens her own door. I hold doors for everyone, not just pregnant women. but i also know where the nearest exit is and how many obstacles are in the way.
EDIT: Here is how laid back I am with it and how little it is noticed- I joked about this thread with my wife, because i rarely input on threads. I asked her if she remembered the bridge and she confirmed. I also asked her if she remembers what we talked about me doing in public she had nothing. I reminded her of the convo we had about it and she sort of remembered it. That is how little it is noticed- a person who had watched me specifically for it doesnt even notice it.